Duke Grandfather- The Whole Story

by James Maxstadt

  Jarl looked at it, grinned, and looked back to me.

  “Are you a Nuisance Man here to collect on the bounty?”

  “I’m a Nuisance Man, but I don’t think I’ll be collecting on this one. I do want to know what’s going on, though.”

  He considered me for a moment, and motioned for his bodyguards to put away their weapons and leave us. There were a lot of suspicious looks as they did so, but they obeyed, and a moment later, we were alone.

  “I assume you went to the Tollerson compound first,” he said. “I’d be curious to know what they told you.”

  “They were disappointed that it was me, for starters. I don’t randomly kill simply because a face shows up on the Board. Not anymore anyway. Then, the old one, I’m not sure who he was, told me that you keep interfering in several of their legitimate businesses, so you were a nuisance.”

  To my surprise, he laughed.

  “Ah. I should have expected as much. They are correct when they say that I’m interfering in their businesses. Clans like the Tollersons give us all a bad name. Half of the other races look at us and think ‘criminal’, as soon as they see us. Why? Because the criminals we have are organized. Even the Unhoused end up having relationships with the criminal clans. It’s embarrassing, and doesn’t do any good for those of us trying to earn a decent living.

  “So I do interfere. I interfere in their sniff dealing operations by leading our clan against those doing the actual selling. We intimidate them, take the sniff and wash it down the sewers. We buy the ‘loans’ that the Tollersons give out, and repay them before the interest is due. Then the original borrower pays us back at more reasonable rates. Things like that.

  “That old orc you talked to was Ragold, one of Tollerson’s top men. He’s the brains behind a lot of what they do, but he lied to you when he said I was interfering in some of their legitimate businesses. They don’t have any.”

  He ran down after his speech. He was obviously passionate about what he was doing, even if it was going to get him killed.

  “I can respect what you’re doing, but here’s the problem,” I said. “This time, I pulled your notice off of the Board, but it was luck of the draw for you. If another Nuisance Man gets it, they may or may not care whether you’re doing good work. If not, they’ll take Tollerson’s money and do everything they can to kill you.”

  “I’m aware of that,” he replied. “It’s a risk I’m willing to take. Thanks for coming by, but we’ll handle this on our own.”

  That was my cue that I was dismissed. There wasn’t much else I could do if he didn’t want my help or advice, so I headed home. I didn’t make any money, but hell; at least I didn’t kill someone innocent either.

  That night, I couldn’t sleep. Jarl’s words about how the orc criminal clans ruined it for all of them kept ringing in my ears. It was no different than what I was doing, really. We were both trying to change the public face of something that we were associated with.

  Finally, I rose from bed, dressed and headed out onto the streets. Night time in Capital City can be entertaining. If you keep your wits about you, and stay out of certain areas, you should be alright, like every other city. I was going back to Orc Town, to see if I could catch Jarl in action. I was interested in exactly what it was that he was doing.

  When I got there, I tried to keep a low profile. I used the shadows and roof tops as much as I could, and stayed out of sight. Soon enough, I found what I was looking for; a group of five orcs, hurrying through the streets. I watched from a convenient roof top as one of them pulled a small two-wheeled cart carrying a chest, moving quickly, while four others surrounded him, acting as a guard.

  Then, Jarl and his bunch, at least fifteen of them, stepped out of the shadows and confronted the smaller group. Jarl himself stood directly in front of the cart, blocking its way. I was too far away to hear what was being said, but I could tell from the body language that it was getting set to boil over quickly. Weapons were drawn by the smaller party and they gathered with their backs against the cart.

  Jarl’s group drew their own weapons, but Jarl stopped them from attacking with an upraised hand. They lowered their weapons and he stepped aside, motioning the group with the cart to pass. They started to, with weapons still drawn and haughty looks on their faces.

  When the cart’s wheels pulled even with Jarl, he lunged forward and the cart stopped dead, jerking back the orc pulling it. There was a sudden surge from the large group, a flurry of activity and a moment later, the small group lay dead in the street. Jarl returned to the cart and I saw him pull a heavy stick, which he must have held concealed in his cloak, from the wheel spokes.

  They took the chest out of the cart and Jarl put two fingers to his mouth and whistled. Two rat men came out of an alley nearby and waited. Jarls group put the dead orcs onto the cart and with much apparent effort the rat men dragged it away. Apparently, they got a new cart in exchange for their assistance in cleaning up the bodies, and their silence.

  Jarl opened the chest, right there in the middle of the street. It was full of sniff, the drug that the orcs were selling, and a fair amount of money, both gold rubles and silver ingols. They took the money out and closed the chest. A couple of orcs grabbed it and took off down the street with it, presumably to destroy the sniff. The rest scattered.

  I watched Jarl as he watched the rest of them leave. When he was alone on the street, he looked around furtively and started walking. My curiosity piqued, I followed him, directly to the Tollerson compound.

  I was disappointed. Jarl talked a good game, and I fell for it, hook, line and sinker. But here he was, at his “enemies” stronghold, by himself. Nothing good could come of this that I could see.

  But then, he gave another glance around, and slipped into an alley along the side of the compound, avoiding the main entrance and its guards. The roof I was on had a view down that alley, and while it wasn’t great, at least could see where he went. I laid flat to minimize my silhouette and peered over the edge watching Jarl, who strangely enough, wasn’t doing anything. He was standing there, like he was waiting for something.

  A moment later a rope came slithering down from a window above. A dark shape swarmed down it and approached Jarl. The two came together and it took me a moment to make out what was happening.

  While orcs are strange beings, at least to us humans, I’ve learned that they’re a lot more like us than we think they are. Tonight, that lesson was enforced even more. Orcs kiss. Rather passionately too, if what I saw was any indication.

  I rose into a crouch and moved back away from the edge of the roof so that I couldn’t be seen from the alley if they happened to look up. Not that it looked like they would any time soon. Was it possible that Jarl and one of the Tollerson females were having some sort of affair? I chuckled at the thought. Well, if so, that was going to mean some serious embarrassment to both of their families.

  Still chuckling, I climbed down from the roof and set off through the city to home. I didn’t think I was going to have any problems sleeping the rest of the night.

  The next day, I woke up at my usual early hour of right before noon. As I got out of bed I chuckled again at the thought of what I saw the previous night, and got ready to face the day. After some thought, I decided to go to the watchhouse and see what was on the Board. I was still bored with Lilly being away, so I thought I might as well earn some money.

  “Hey, Sarge,” I said, coming up to the desk. “Anything good up there today?”

  “See for yourself, Duke. But play nice and share.”

  I looked over at the Board to see what he was talking about, and to my surprise, there was someone there already. Don’t get me wrong, there are other Nuisance Men in the city, and I know several of them. It’s just that we hardly ever run into one another. But I didn’t recognize this guy at all.

  I walked over, sizing him up as I went. Either he was new to the city, new as a Nuisance Man, or he was someone who was already but decided he wa
s in need of a makeover. He was a young man, with a superior expression on his pale face, dressed all in black, head to toe. He wore black boots, with tight black pants tucked into them. Over that, he wore a black shirt, fastened tightly at the collar, and finished it off with a black cape, the hood of which was hanging down his back at the moment.

  Not that there’s anything wrong with a hooded cape, mind you. I’m partial to them myself, when the weather is right. They keep the rain off your head and you can pull them around you for warmth when you’re on a stake out waiting for a wayward goblin to appear. But it was warm this time of year, so to wear one now was simply to try to make a fashion statement.

  I approached the Board and looked it over, ignoring the new guy. I could see him out of the corner of my eye, looking me up and down, his gaze resting longest on the gun at my hip.

  There wasn’t much on the Board today. A couple of goblins, like there almost always are, a gnoll, and an out of control golem. That one was intriguing. Golems are awfully strong, single minded in purpose and almost indestructible. About the only way to put one down is to get inside its head, literally, and remove the printed instructions that have been placed there. Getting close enough to do that is the problem.

  And there, as I half expected it to be, was Jarl.

  Both I and the newcomer reached for the notice at the same time.

  “Sorry, friend,” I said. “This one is a mistake.”

  He turned fully to me now, standing in a wide stance, and placed his hands on his hips. Very dramatic, and I didn’t smirk once, I swear.

  “You’re the famous Duke Grandfather,” he said. “The most famous Nuisance Man in all of Capital City.”

  “Sure. If that’s what you want to say. And you are?”

  This guy rubbed me the wrong way already and I knew that it was going to get worse.

  “I am,” he said, and then he paused and lifted his chin slightly, “Raven!”

  “Uh huh, great. Well, look, um, Raven…” I shook my head. Raven? “The orc is a mistake, he’s not a Nuisance. It’s been posted by someone trying to game the system.”

  He didn’t look impressed by that. Then again, I didn’t really expect him to be. His kind never is.

  “I may be mistaken,” he said, “but was the notice not on the Board? That makes this orc fair game for any Nuisance Man who takes it, does it not?”

  “Sure, in most cases it does. Look friend, maybe you haven’t heard, but there’s a new way we’re doing things here…”

  “You mean a new way that you are doing things. Not all of us. If he’s on the Board, he is fair game, and I think that’s the one that I’ll take.”

  “Not going to happen,” I said.

  I moved so that I was standing directly in front of him, so close that our noses were almost touching.

  “This one is a special case. I already took it yesterday, looked into it, and that orc is not deserving of your attentions. Find another and move on.”

  I glared at him, my hand hovering near my gun. I had no intention of using it, but he didn’t know that. He stared back at me for a moment, stepped back and, I swear I’m not making this up, actually bowed to me.

  “I beg your forgiveness,” he said. “I didn’t realize that it meant so much to you. Far be it from me to cross the most famous Nuisance Man in the city.”

  He backed away, turned with a flourish and started for the door. He was a pompous ass for sure and obviously was still of the school of thought that said that anyone non-human was automatically fair game, but still, he was doing the same job as me. I could probably do more good by trying to turn him around to my way of seeing things, than being adversaries with him, no matter how annoying he was.

  “Wait up,” I said. “There are others here that you can take. How about working with me on this golem?”

  He turned when he got to the door and looked back at me.

  “No need, Grandfather.” He looked at the notice crumpled in my fist. “You see, I have an excellent memory.”

  And then he was gone.

  “Crap,” I said.

  I turned back to the Board and read the notice again. I really wanted to take the golem on. It was something that I hadn’t done yet, only heard about, and it would be a challenge. I didn’t think my gun could even kill a golem, since they weren’t really alive to begin with. It would probably shoot big chunks out of it, but that was all. Theoretically, you could break them down into pieces, and those pieces could be put back together and used all over again, with a new set of instructions in their heads.

  This golem was supposedly roaming the city streets, tearing down the street signs. That was it, a mere random act of vandalism, but one that could cause problems. We have a lot of visitors here in Capital City and not having any street signs would cause severe inconveniences. The golem being on the Board meant that someone needed to try to open its head and remove the slip of paper with the written instructions that was placed there. Then, it would simply cease to move, until someone wrote up something new, put it in the golems head, and it would follow those instructions, to the letter.

  It sounds easy enough, but golems are very strong, and very tough, and would resist any attempt to open their heads. That would interfere with their instructions, you see. There were Nuisance Men who ended up seriously hurt, and one even killed, by a golem. They weren’t something to be taken lightly. That meant I would have to set my gun to “golem”, and keep blasting away at its arms and legs until I it incapacitated enough to get close. Like I said, it would be a great challenge.

  Instead, I looked at the door and sighed. I knew where I needed to go. I respected what Jarl was trying to do, and didn’t want to see a creep like Tollerson, and his spokesman Ragold, come out on top. There was too much of that in the world. I had to stop Raven.

  I was pretty sure that I could take him out with no problem. But in order to do that, I was going to need to get close to him, probably somewhere in Orc Town by now. Given my encounter with the Tollerson clan yesterday, I didn’t want to wander around down there without some insurance, so I double checked that the gun was still set to “orc” from the day before. I looked at the posting for the golem again, shook my head, and went after Raven.

  I had to admit, he was pretty hard to find. It wasn’t as easy as running out of the watchhouse and seeing him in the distance. By the time I was out there was no trace of him, but I knew where he was going. If he wanted to get paid, he needed to go to the Tollerson clan first. There was only one way in or out of their compound, so it was there that I’d be able to catch up to him.

  When I got there, I kept watch from a convenient roof top across from the Tollersons’ entrance, but didn’t bother trying to hide. A few times I saw one of the orcs lounging at the restaurant look up at me, say something, and they all had a good chuckle. I really didn’t care if they saw me, since I wasn’t there for them. I was only staying long enough to see Raven come back out, and he and I were going to have a little talk.

  It wasn’t long before I saw him exiting the compound, bouncing a coin purse up and down on his hand. He made a comment to the guards, and they all burst out laughing. I’m not sure, but it might have been in orcish and directed at me, since several of them glanced up again. It seemed that friend Raven knew I was there as well.

  While Raven walked away from the compound, I ran to the back of the building and climbed down as swiftly as I could. He did a good job of disappearing when he left the watchhouse, so I didn’t want to give him the same opportunity now. I reached the ground, spun around, and he was standing there, leaning casually against the wall opposite and watching me.

  “Pretty good, Grandfather. You move pretty well for someone who’s been doing this as long as you.”

  “What the hell is that supposed to mean?” I growled. I was pretty sure that he was calling me old.

  “Nothing. Take the compliment. Why are you following me?”

  “I told you back at the watchhouse. You can’t kill
that orc.”

  “Well, that’s not exactly true, is it,” he sneered. “What you mean is that you can’t kill him. Didn’t we go over this?”

  “No, I do mean that you can’t kill him. I’m not going to let you.”

  He laughed and stood up straighter, twitching his cloak back to reveal the sword at his side.

  “I don’t think you’ll stop me from doing anything,” he said. “Not unless you’re going to pull that famous gun you use as a crutch. Everyone knows you’re nothing without it.”

  Well now, those were fighting words. Yes, the gun made my job easier, but as others learned before, I had other skills as well. I didn’t become a Nuisance Man, and a damn good one, by pure dumb luck.

  I moved forward and aimed a punch right at his sneering mouth, but stumbled off balance when I missed. Raven moved to the side as I stepped toward him and let me go by him. His fist connected fine though, crashing into the side of my head, and down I went. I bounced right back up, fists at the ready and caught a kick on my hip as I did so. He was aiming for my stomach, but I surprised him by recovering that fast.

  We circled each other, hands up, eyes locked. There was no fear in Raven; I had to give him that. He was ready for this battle. I hated to admit it, but he was faster than I was, and probably stronger too. But there’s no substitute for experience, which I most definitely had over him.

  I feinted a punch and as he moved back to avoid it, I charged him. I lowered my head and flew in, taking a shot to the cheek as I did. It hurt, but it was only a glancing blow. I grabbed Raven around the waist, hoisted him up, turned, and slammed him into the wall. His breath left him in an “oomph”. I threw him to the ground, and caught him with a kick in the side as he tried to rise, succeeding in doing to him what he tried to do to me.

  His breath blew out of him again, and I was on him. I straddled him and landed a quick one-two to his face, reached down, grabbed his hair and slammed the back of his head into the ground. Once to rattle his brains, and then again, just for fun. All the fight went out of him after that.