Duke Grandfather- The Whole Story

by James Maxstadt

  As I’ve mentioned before, Lilly is seriously scary people when she wants to be. She lives and works in a realm that I can’t even begin to imagine. It’s a wonder that she’s the woman she is.

  “Well,” I said when she was finished, “what do I do about it? How do I go about getting over this? Take another nuisance and force myself to finish the job?”

  “No, definitely not that. First, I’m not sure that you could. If it’s affecting you that way, you might not be able to pull the trigger no matter what. Then you’d be in serious danger, especially if word got around that Duke Grandfather couldn’t kill. Second, if you did manage to do it, it could break you. I think the remorse you’d feel would be too great. No, we have to find another answer. Let me work on it some.”

  My answer for now was to wait and see, which isn’t my strongest quality. When she came home the next evening, Lilly didn’t have anything new, but did say that they were working on something.

  “Be patient,” she said. “We’ll get this solved.”

  But since I was also never a very patient man, the next day, I walked Lilly to work, and then turned to the Board when she went to her office. I took less time than normal about selecting a target, because as soon as I walked up, whom do I see? My friend Gallowswing, of course.

  I took the notice down, and showed it to Sarge on the way out the door. He looked like he was going to say something, but stopped himself. I smiled as I left, to let him know that everything was fine.

  There was an anger brewing inside of me, and it was directed at Gallowswing. It happened exactly as I thought it would, only quicker. This time, he didn’t killed anyone, but he did cut a kid, pretty badly too. He was simply too stupid to stop on his own.

  I tracked him right back to that same flop house, and didn’t even bother with the orc at the desk as I went up the stairs. As I’ve mentioned, goblins are stupid, and Gallowswing probably thought he was being clever by staying in the same place.

  This time, I didn’t knock or announce myself. Slamming into the door hard, I burst through it, gun already drawn and loaded for goblin. Only there was no Gallowswing, or anyone else, in the room. The window was still down and looked like it hadn’t been disturbed since the other day.

  I turned, scanning the room, but not seeing anything. At least until I remembered that goblins are expert hiders, and started looking closer. The room was filthy, and there wasn’t much in the way of furniture. No one was under the bed, or hiding under the threadbare blanket thrown on top. No closet, no cubby hole of any kind.

  Which only left one thing. I turned quickly, realizing as I did that the door didn’t hit the wall hard like the other day. He was already coming out from behind it, knife at the ready, but still a few paces away. There was plenty of time for me to get the gun up and shoot him.

  Except that I couldn’t. I got the gun up and lined up for a quick shot that would stop Gallowswing in his tracks, but I still couldn’t pull the trigger. I don’t know if I had more time, as I did the other day, if I could have made myself or not. But in the fractions of a second that I had now, I simply couldn’t.

  The knife took me in the stomach, cutting deep. I felt a searing coldness, followed immediately by intense pain, and then a wetness as the blood flowed out of me. I grunted and doubled over, striking out with my gun, and connecting with his chin. Gallowswing yelped and fell back.

  I straightened up as much as I could, glaring at him.

  “Come on,” I spat out. “Let’s go.”

  An ambush was one thing, so was attacking a child. But facing a fighter, even a wounded one, was beyond what Gallowswing was ready for. Instead of charging in again, he repeated the performance of the other day, edging around the door, and disappearing down the hallway.

  I was relieved. In spite of my words, I was in no condition to fight anyone, not even a kitten. I sank down on to the bed, and grabbed the filthy blanket, rolling it up and pressing it against my wound. It would help to slow the bleeding down, at least until I could get somewhere to get stitched up, but I hoped it didn’t give me any nasty diseases as well.

  I made it back to the watchhouse, moving slowly and keeping the blanket pressed tight, ignoring the stares of those on the streets. Once there, I gave way to the blackness that was flickering around the edges of my vision. I think I finally managed to surprise Sarge, when I keeled over in the doorway.

  Lilly was not pleased. To say that she was not pleased might be an understatement. It might be the understatement of the year. For a while, I wasn’t sure if she was angrier at Gallowswing or me. After I bit, I was certain that it was me.

  “You’re an idiot!” she said, for what had to be the hundredth time. “I told you that you weren’t ready! But you had to go and get yourself almost butchered! What were you thinking?”

  I opened my mouth to reply, but she was already moving on.

  “What am I supposed to do, Duke? Tie you to the bed? Oh, shut up!” she said, before I could get out any sort of wise ass comment.

  She railed for a while and then, with a visible effort, calmed herself and sat in a chair near the bed.

  “Duke, I can’t stand to see you get hurt. Not when it’s so easily avoidable. I get that it’s sometimes part of the job. But not right now.”

  “It was stupid,” I admitted. “But I can’t sit around here day after day. I need to be able to do my job.”

  Listening to myself, it sounded like someone else talking. I needed to be able to do my job? I spent all the time that I possibly could trying not to do my job. But, that was when I could whenever I felt the urge. Now that it was a distinct possibility that I might never do it again, it changed things.

  Lilly, to her credit, seemed to understand.

  “I know, Duke. I do. Give me another day or two.”

  I agreed, of course. Partly because with the wound in my stomach, I wasn’t going anywhere for a couple of days, but also because I really did feel that I had put her through enough. I could be patient.

  Patience is over-rated. I was bored out of my skull over the next two days. I read a book, cover to cover, which isn’t something I do often. I watched the world go by through the window that I could partially see from my bed. I slept…a lot.

  And I thought. Even though I didn’t want to, I kept thinking about that glimpse of paradise. The thought would then come unbidden that a little deeper, a little harder, and the cut that Gallowswing gave me would have sent me back there. I didn’t mind that thought, when I was lying there alone. Then Lilly would come home, and the desire to stay here would take over again.

  After two solid days of this, she came home with two bottles of liquid. One was a bright blue, and it sparkled as it moved within the bottle. The other was in an amber colored bottle, so I couldn’t see what color it was.

  Lilly set them down on the table. “We’re going to fix both problems.”

  I raised an eyebrow at her.

  “The first being that you’re too enraptured by the sight of paradise to do your job. The second is that gash in your stomach. I can fix them both.”

  “Well, good,” I said. “What do we need to do?”

  “The first is going to fix your head,” she said. “The other one is going to take a couple of days to work, so hopefully we can make it easier for you while you’re still laid up.”

  “Sounds great. Let’s do it.”

  There was a slight bit of hesitation on my part. Yes, I wanted to go back to normal, and function again as a Nuisance Man. But there was a tiny part of me that was loath to give up the memory of what I saw. It was perfect, how could I want to forget it? But the more rational part of my mind prevailed and to have any chance at a happy life again, it needed to be done.

  Lilly poured the liquid from the amber bottle into a mug and handed it to me, the contents giving off a slight bit of steam.

  “Straight down,” she said. “No stopping. Drink it all in one go.”

  No problem, or so I thought. After all, I could down a
mug of ale in less than ten seconds flat if I wanted to, so what was this?

  A lot, as it turned out. The taste was vile and bitter, and it burned. As soon as it touched my lips, it felt like I had kissed a campfire. The searing went into my mouth and straight down my throat until it hit my stomach and stayed there, burning away my insides. But I already ignored Lilly once, to disastrous results, so this time, I was determined to obey her.

  I did it, as hard as it was. I gasped when I was done, wiped the sweat from my brow and grabbed the mug of water that she held ready for me. The coolness helped some, but not much. The fire still raged in my belly, and I still felt like I had eaten hot coals.

  “That was horrible,” I croaked out.

  “Yeah, I thought it might be. But it should help. It won’t make you forget that glimpse of the other side, but it should help you keep it in perspective for a while. Long enough for it to fade on its own, anway. Ready for the next one?”

  I took a deep breath, nodded, and held out my hand.

  She gave me another mug, this time with the blue, sparkly liquid in it.

  “You can take your time with this one,” she said.

  I raised the mug hesitantly to my mouth and sipped at the potion.

  Ahhhh! Sweet relief! It calmed the flames still dancing in my mouth and felt like cold, clear water in my throat. It hit the inferno in my stomach and damped it down. It didn’t go away entirely, not at first, but it was such a balm that I didn’t mind.

  And it tasted like the finest candy. It was sweet, but not disgustingly so. It was the best thing that wasn’t ale that I ever drank, and when it was gone, I was left wishing for more.

  “Thought that might help,” Lilly said. “That was the other reason for drinking them in that order. The second one is going to make you sleep, and when you do, you’ll go out. I’d be amazed if you woke up before I went to work tomorrow, but when you do, you should be feeling a lot better. Not well enough to go out yet, but better.

  “Take tomorrow, rest, and by the next day, you should be good to go. By then, hopefully your head will be in a better place too, and then we can get start getting back to normal.”

  “I’d like that,” I said. “I’m sorry that I put you through all this.”

  “You didn’t. It was that damn banshee and whoever sent it. We’re going to find out who that was too, and then there’ll be hell to pay.”

  I couldn’t have agreed with her more, but she was right about the potion making me tired. I could barely keep my eyes open, and vaguely remember Lilly bending down to kiss my forehead before I was off into dreamland again.

  She was also right about me not waking before she went to the watchhouse. I woke myself with a massive yawn when the sun was already climbing high into the sky. As I blinked in the sudden light, I took stock and considered how I felt.

  Overall, I felt pretty good. The wound in my stomach wasn’t aching anymore, and when I took a look, it was sealed together and healing over already. I poked at it, and although it was still tender, it didn’t really hurt. Lilly said it would take a couple of days for me to heal, but I seemed to be ahead of schedule.

  That didn’t surprise me. I always was a fast healer. She should have known that about me.

  Well, just because Lilly was wrong about something again, didn’t mean that I needed to stay here waiting around. There were things to do, and one of them, was to get my revenge on that little bastard who cut me. Gallowswing was going to be in for a surprise when I found him.

  A short time later, I was back at the flop house. I couldn’t believe that the goblin would be that stupid a third time, but then again, he was a goblin. I walked up to the desk and that same miserable orc on “duty”.

  “He here again?” I asked.

  “Don’t know who you mean,” the orc said, not even looking up at me.

  I glanced around and saw the door that led to the inner office where the orc sat, thinking he was safe behind his thick pane of glass. It didn’t withstand more than two kicks before the lock busted and was left hanging. By that time, the orc was on his feet, putting his chair between him and I.

  “Hey!” he sniveled. “I don’t want any trouble. I know who you are now.”

  “Too late for that,” I growled.

  I shoved the chair out of my way, pulled my gun, and smashed it into the side of the orc’s jaw. He dropped like a puppet whose strings were cut, and I planted a boot into his gut. Twice, to make sure he got the message, and then once more, because it felt good.

  I squatted down next to him, ignoring the foul breath that was panting out of him.

  “Now,” I said, my voice calm and reasonable. “Let’s try this again. That little creep, Gallowswing. Is he up there?”

  The orc nodded, which I believe was all he could do at the moment.

  “Good,” I said. I considered giving him another shot for making me come in here, but since I didn’t want any more of his filth on my boot, I let him be.

  Calmly and slowly I walked up the stairs. When I reached the top of the second set, I started calling out to Gallowswing as I walked down the hall.

  “Galllllooowswing. Gallllloooowswing. I’m back. Where are you?”

  I kept my voice friendly, knowing that he would be cowering in his filthy room, hiding like the rat he was.

  This time, I didn’t even try the handle. I kicked the door in, and let it swing back on its own, stopping it with my foot. Then I walked in, looking around carefully. He was there, standing perfectly still near the window, trying to blend in with the filthy wall.

  I laughed, raised the gun and shot him. The ball was still set to goblin and it did a horrible amount of damage to him. He was dead before he hit the floor, but I shot him again, because I could.

  Scratch one goblin, and welcome back Duke!

  Later on, I walked into the watchhouse and dropped the notice on the desk in front of Sarge without saying a word.

  “Lilly got you fixed up, huh?” he said.

  “If that’s what you want to call it,” I replied. “Although I think I would have healed fine on my own. I don’t know, maybe it helped some. Who can say?”

  Sarge looked at me strangely. “I think we can. You were hurt pretty bad, Duke. From what I hear, Lilly and some others worked hard on those potions.”

  “Yeah, well, that’s their jobs, right? Speaking of, anything good on the Board?”

  “I’m not sure you should be taking anyone right now. Lilly says you should still be resting today.”

  “Lilly says, Lilly says. Well, Duke says that he’s taking a job and shooting someone.”

  With that, I walked over to the Board and looked. Not much, or at least not much that was worth my time and attention. Although, there was one…

  I grabbed the notice and walked out, not even bothering to glance over at Sarge again. Let him stew if that’s what he wanted. I had better things to do.

  Who or what was on the notice doesn’t really matter. I never even looked at what the complaint was. I grabbed it, found the complainant, and went to work. A half hour later, I had the cash in hand and blood on my mind. A short time after that, the job was done, and I was feeling better than ever.

  It was getting late by then, so I decided I would go back to the watchhouse the next day, and pull a few more nuisances to rid the world of. In the meantime, I was thirsty, and ale was the next thing on my list. I didn’t feel like going home, and didn’t really feel like listening to Jessup ramble on about some meaningless crap. I wanted to go somewhere fresh. Somewhere I knew, but wasn’t too familiar with. Somewhere that I was liked and admired.

  I ended up at The Witch’s Kettle.

  The last time I was there was to be the butt of a joke. It was a good one, and no harm done, except to my pride, and Raven’s too. I laughed again thinking of his face that night, but then sobered when I remembered mine. Well, no tricks this time.

  The witches owed me. They could start making up for it by buying me a round or three.

/>   I walked in like I owned the place, ignoring the looks, and slapping away a questing hand or two. Nasty, old crones who thought they had the right to lay their bony hands on my person. There were a few squawks and hurt looks when I did that, but they’d get over it.

  Making my way to the bar, I looked around for a familiar face, and who should I spy, but Camelia Rosenblatt, the girl who once used me as her patsy. She was the perfect person to start paying me back. She noticed me at the same time, smiled, and worked her way through the crowd toward me.

  “Mr. Grandfather!” she said. “What are you doing here?”

  “Giving you the opportunity to make good, toots,” I told her. “Open up the purse strings, and start buying. I’d rather drink with you than most of the old crones in here. Speaking of that, where’s that other one? What was her name? Minerva, or something like that? She owes me a few too.”

  It was almost worth the price of admission to see the look on her face. Almost. A few mugs of ale would go a lot further toward making amends.

  “Excuse me,” she said, her smile faltering. “but I’m afraid I don’t understand.”

  “What’s not to understand? You used me a while back. I never got paid for it, so now’s your chance. Belly up to the bar, sister. You’ve got a few ales to buy. But make sure none of these nasty old bats touches my rear again. I don’t like it.”

  “Are you alright, Duke?”

  “I’m perfect! Number one Nuisance Man, how could I not be? Now how about that ale?”

  My voice rose as I was speaking, and I didn’t immediately notice that the place had fallen silent. Not quiet, like when I was in here before, but a silence so heavy that you could cut it with a knife.

  “I think you should go, Mr. Grandfather,” Camelia said quietly. “It might not be safe for you here.”