Endlessly

by C. V. Hunt

  I chuckled as Jason chafed at the cat and mouse game. Jason’s acute hearing matched mine, so it was no surprise that he heard my reaction to his moves on the girl.

  He walked over, leaned on the counter, and said: “Well?” While raising his eyebrows.

  “Well what?”

  “You know what you fucking asshole?” he breathed.

  A chuckle came from somewhere in the back—the demon again. Where was that black smoky aura? I didn’t see him, but I knew that he could hear us. “She doesn’t know what she is yet,” I whispered as I watched her flip through CDs. “She still smells human.” All of this begged the real question: What was she?

  “An incarnate?” Jason wondered.

  Just then Jessica strolled up and set her seminar flyers on the counter. I glanced at them. Some of the nearby stores hosted seminars where incarnates might start learning about who and what they were. Would the girl want to go to one?

  Jessica followed our gazes, saw the girl, and muttered: “Hmph! Men.”

  Jessica marched to the back of the store, with Jason following. With girls, incarnate girls, human girls…any girls—he couldn’t stop himself. He had a one-track mind. I loved the fact that, no matter how much he pestered Jessica, she always shot him down. It was comical to watch.

  With Jason diverted, I returned to the mystery of the girl. What could she be? I had never seen an aura like hers, seemingly a mix of incarnate with werewolf. Was she from another planet or realm?

  The girl turned toward the counter and, for a split second, her brilliant blue eyes stared into mine. A wave passed through me. She looked down. In that instant we’d been drawn to each other like magnets merging.

  I glanced at Jessica, and realized she was in shock. Her perpetual smile faded, as her mouth fell open and her eyes bulged. This wasn’t supposed to happen to a born knowing.

  I stared at Jessica’s face, and felt a strange sense of panic. That’s why I didn’t notice the girl approaching my counter.

  Chapter 2

  AWAKENING HEART

  “Excuse me…um…sir,” she said.

  I cleared my throat, trying to calm my nerves. “Uhhmm…sorry. Can I help you?” My attraction to her might be better described as panicked magnetism. A part of me wanted to embrace her. A part of me wanted to run. The conflict left me rooted where I was.

  “Uh, uh…yeah,” she said, almost stammering. “I’m ready to check out.” Her eyes darted everywhere. I could hear her heart beat faster.

  I suddenly realized the girl was embarrassed. Her cheeks reddened, and sweat coated her forehead. She fidgeted. Jason, Jessica, and the rest of the store became distant, quiet, and not quite there. I saw her book: a guide to reincarnation. So, she was trying to figure it out. Something was off. Had there been some change in her aura. Had she been feeling strange?

  “You know, we’ll be getting a shipment with some new titles about this on Wednesday,” I said, ringing up her book while trying not to stare at her aura.

  She squinted at the price on the little screen, then counted out her money. When she blushed, the sight of blood blooming into her cheeks made me hungry. My stomach growled, but the music drowned it out. As she handed me cash I noticed the tattoo on her knuckles. I saw it for a split second, and could not make it out. As I bagged the book and gave it to her, I glimpsed her aura again. It was like no other. Our eyes met again, like magnets aligning. She was unaware of her sweating. She didn’t even know she was trying to hide it.

  “Um…Wednesday you said?” she murmured.

  Why was it so awkward? She was just another incarnate becoming aware, wasn’t she? She must be struggling with the weird feelings. So? Weren’t we all? She was starting to think she was crazy. That made her just like so many other misfits. What did she have that they didn’t have?

  “Wednesday,” I said, with a nod. “Come back then. We should have the new books out by the time we open.”

  Whenever I looked at her aura it changed, as if in response to my stare. Her eyes evaded mine, yet I felt sure she was as drawn to me as I was to her. Finally she looked straight at me and said: “Ok. Thanks.” She clutched her book to her chest and put her head down. She walked out.

  There were born knowings who coaxed ones like her into the store. Born knowings enjoyed helping incarnates learn the true nature of their own souls. The process was a lonely one, but it got easier once you knew there was something bigger. We had books about that, and then there was our diverse clientele…

  As I watched her walk to her car, I still felt the aching pull. When I glanced back at the counter there was Jason, Cheshire cat smile and all.

  “What?” I snapped.

  “I might ask you the same thing,” he said.

  “What do you mean?”

  “Don’t hide it. It’s not like anybody hit you with a stun gun. The real question is: are you gonna fuck her or eat her?” In the back of the store Jessica snorted.

  “Neither,” I replied. “She’s an incarnate.”

  “What is she? A werewolf?”

  “No. We should only be so lucky.”

  “What?” Jason demanded. “What’s wrong with werewolves? You got a problem with me? Ya don’t like my kind? Maybe my kind is her kind too, and you wouldn’t want to go there?” Finally his sarcasm faded as he asked: “So if she’s not like me then what is she?”

  I watched as the demon slipped out. Only one human male, with the limited hearing of his species, was left in the store.

  “I’ve never seen anything like it,” I said softly. “She’s not a born knowing or a werewolf.”

  “Then you are going to fuck her.”

  “You know I can’t do that,” I said, wishing he would shut up. I was way too hungry to even think about it. “I can’t risk doing that kind of damage. I’ve been there before.”

  “You tried to do it without hurting a girl?”

  I didn’t answer. I’d said too much.

  “What is it with you vampires anyhow?” he hissed, his anger showing. “Why can’t you guys fuck somebody without biting them? Can’t you control yourselves?”

  “It’s what I am,” I said. “That’s why the Quatre ruled that vampires must only mate with other vampires.”

  “So,” Jason said, nearly satisfied, “the other girl— did you kill her or change her?”

  “Who?” My mind was still on the girl who’d just left.

  “The one that you fucked and couldn’t keep from sinking your teeth into.”

  “I killed her,” I said. “I didn’t have permission to change her. I was too terrified that I would be killed if I let her transform.”

  The memory of my meeting with the Quatre made the hair on the back of my neck stand up. I hadn’t thought about that in awhile. Still it brought the fear.

  I’m not a guy who talks about my sexual habits, and the last person I would share that with would be Jason.

  “Then you need to get some dead, cold, vampire pussy,” he countered, roaring with laughter as he slapped the counter. He clutched his arms around his waist.

  I rolled my eyes and pointed at him. “You’re such a little shit.”

  Jason straightened up. “Little? Look who’s talking.” He walked toward the back, saying: “Hope you can keep up with all this traffic in here. I’m gonna take a nap before we take off tonight.”

  “Is that a crack about my height?” I craned my neck to see over the tops of the aisles.

  He passed through the back door still chuckling.

  Tonight–Jason was reminding me I needed to feed. Talking about all this with Jessica would have to wait until tomorrow.

  “Jessica.”

  “Yeah?” she called from the back.

  “You can take off, but be in here first thing tomorrow.”

  She came over and searched my eyes. “I felt a strong pulse,” she said. ”Like a ripple in water…and your face…”

  “We will discuss it tomorrow.”

  She nodded and gathered her coa
t and bag. Her perpetual smile returned. She bounced around the store, checking a few things before she left. Jessica was way too happy.

  Jason’s words echoed in my head. Dead…cold…two Hollywood vampire myths. My heart still beats and I still live. And live and live. If I eat and don’t get my head blown off I might live forever. Maybe it’s my focus on those facts that keeps me from ending it. That’s what most vampires do.

  The only other immortal creatures are demons and angels—but they were here before man. They started as soon as there was life on the planet, evolving with it. They are evolution. We refer to them as demons and angels because they have the power to influence events for good or for ill. Rather than changing through shape shift, they can only evolve. Demons have black smoke auras that flow from their mouths, while angel auras are gold. Rather than clinging to their skin, these beings’ auras radiate out with each exhalation.

  Many vampires’ minds fall victim to a hopeless madness. Some discover their consciences and hate killing. Unable to kill, they starve themselves of humans, attempting to squeeze nutrition from animal blood. Soon enough they learn that it’s useless. Only human blood can save us.

  Some blow their brains out. Nothing else works very well. Our bodies heal too fast for other methods.

  I haven’t been able to accept the idea that not feeding a little when I was having sex would never be a real option. But it was true. Feeding was drawing all blood from a human body. Whenever I fed I needed the aura too. I’d never known why. I’d met many other vampires, but I had yet to hear of another who could take an aura. Few could even see an aura, much less pull it from a dying victim. I’d heard rumors of vampires that, on changing, found themselves with something extra, but these stories were as distant as myths.

  In the end the only sexual relationships that made sense were with other vampires. They were safe. Our bites did no harm to each other. Tasting a little blood felt good, but there wasn’t much nutrition here either. Combining these bites with sex gave the illusion of feeding. Real feeding was something else entirely.

  I had never taken a mate for long. Two vampires living in the same place wasn’t a good plan. It would mean appetites requiring twice as much blood, hunts that don’t end until we have twice as much prey, and finally twice as many bodies to clean up. As I’d grown older I’d grown jaded and grumpy. Most females could only stand me for so long before they moved on. I can’t say I blame them. I get sick of myself sometimes.

  As I daydreamed of old flings I recalled the girl I’d just met. A being discovering her true nature…I’d seen a million of them. Why was I so drawn to her?

  We’re not supposed to interfere with incarnates. Either they found out for themselves, or it didn’t happen. Some simply couldn’t shape shift into their form. I closed my eyes, unable to imagine what a disappointment that must be.

  Incarnates are reincarnations of other non-human figures. They could be anything. Jason was a werewolf, which was obvious from his red aura. Like other werewolves, he was in a class by himself—special diet, special teeth, special features.

  I don’t know why they’re called “werewolves.” Though they have wolf-like heads and teeth, they seem more like gorillas. The tail and the sudden covering of hair are mere movie moments. In truth the arms lengthen, the legs grow stronger, and the werewolf gains the speed of the wild. They gain strength too, but no more than that of a vampire. Their skin is bright red-brown, like that of Native Americans. Typically their eyes are yellow. One last myth is the full moon. They don’t need it. All it gives them is moonlight.

  One thing the movies sometimes get partially right is mind control; vampires have it. We can use it on most prey within close proximity. Once we have bitten into them we can rummage through their thoughts and memories.

  Over the centuries I met many incarnates: fairies, trolls, witches, shamans, aliens and all the rest. They come from other planets, other realms, and sometimes they appear to pop up directly from human imagination. They are reborn into human bodies. Some are born remembering and can shape shift at will. Others forget. They always have the feeling that they belong to something bigger. Some figure it out immediately. Others never do. The latter are reborn again.

  As the clock ticked down to closing time I went through all of this over and over. That aura, that look, that feeling: I’d never known anything like her before.

  Chapter 3

  VAMPIRE NIGHTMARES

  Jason and I arrived in Indianapolis later that night. I was familiar with the area and knew exactly where to go. We drove down a dark street known for its prostitutes. There they were: two girls leaning against a graffiti-covered wall. They wore the usual plain white aura of humans. They both came out on the sidewalk, chattering to each other as they watched us approach. They were gearing up to do their jobs. The blonde wore a smile as real as her bleached hair. The brunette was trying to care. Both were barely dressed.

  I slowed, pulled closer to the curb, and stopped the car in front of them. They leaned down and peered in the passenger side. Jason hit the button, and the window slid down. He leaned back and smiled. The blonde smiled back, resting her elbows on the base of the car window. She wore a low-cut shirt and exposed her breasts like the pro that she was. The other girl stood a few steps back, her hands on her hips. The blonde might have been in her mid-twenties. The brunette didn’t even look eighteen.

  Jason liked to do most of the talking. It gave him a sense of stalking his prey. Though we both knew that a few thoughts from me would have them both paralyzed, I let him play his game. It reminded me of a cat toying with a mouse, though in this case the mouse had the misplaced expectation of profit.

  “Well, well ladies. Which one of you would be willing to come with us for a little ride?” Jason smiled, and glanced back and forth between the two. He was favoring the blonde.

  When the blonde spoke her breath smelled strongly of cigarettes. “It depends on what you boys are looking for.”

  “One of you for the both of us,” Jason said, as he looked down at the window button. He playfully traced it with his index finger. What a horrible flirt.

  “I don’t know about two at once. That might cost a little extra.” She straightened up and took a step back. She wasn’t sure about these terms.

  “Money is no problem,” Jason said, smiling. Why worry about the money, when we knew they would never get paid.

  “We’ll both do it for two hundred,” she said, glancing back. Her girlfriend wasn’t paying much attention. The brunette was busy, chewing her nails, while trying to get a look at me.

  “Oh no, we only want one of you,” Jason said softly.

  The brunette spoke up, “I’ll do it for one-fifty.”

  The blonde turned to her, and whispered: “Are you sure? That driver’s albino or something.”

  The brunette came forward and climbed in the rear door on the passenger side. As she slid onto the seat, the blonde backed off and walked away. She glanced back once or twice, then vanished into the shadows. Jason got nervous because the blonde wasn’t taking the bait, but it was fine with me. I just hoped our brunette wouldn’t ask about the green army duffle bag stuffed up under the driver’s seat.

  I put the car in drive and we crept down the street.

  “So where are we going?” she asked. “Not too far, right? I have to be back soon.”

  “Just a little way down the street.” As I said it I felt an evil smile cross my lips. I moved my face into the shadows. It wasn’t time yet. In a few minutes she would know the full fear of death, but for now it was just the slight feeling of trepidation one gets from the unknown. The rich scent of her blood filled my nostrils. As her heart beat faster the odor became more enticing.

  Saliva pooled in my mouth and I had to keep swallowing. Otherwise I would’ve looked like a mad dog. I pulled halfway down the alley, then checked both ends—no traffic. I put the car in park, got out, and climbed in the back seat and shut the door. I was too hungry for formalities. The bru
nette had struck what she thought was a sexy pose, but the effect was that of a frightened, awkward girl. What came next was a typical vampire moment, private and slightly erotic. Jason stared out the front window. He never cared to watch me feed. I couldn’t blame him.

  I immediately grabbed the brunette behind the neck, pulling her face close to mine. I’d caught her off guard. Her arms flayed out, then her hands came down on my legs. She found herself on all fours on the back seat.

  “Hey, now don’t be too rough.” She crawled across me, coming to rest straddling my lap, facing me. All the while I kept my palm on the back of her neck.

  She kissed me, probably in hopes of finishing as quickly as possible. That only made me hungrier. I inhaled deeply, then my breathing quickened. I was getting too excited. I had to consider Jason, who didn’t appreciate me having sex with his meals. I gripped the back of her neck, and pulled her back from me.

  “Hey what did I s...”

  I pressed down, cutting off her words. The anger in her eyes suddenly shifted to terror. I loved this part. “Listen to me,” I hissed. “You are going to die.” I laughed, mad with hunger. “I am hungry and you will taste so much better packed with adrenaline and fear.” Her pulse elevated, and her chest expanded as she gulped air. As she opened her mouth to scream, I paralyzed her with a thought, then threw her down on the seat. She laid there in a horrible stillness.

  If I’d had fangs I’m sure this would’ve been when I’d show them. I climbed on top of her and lowered my head beside her ear. I could hear Jason giggling like a girl in the front seat. I don’t know who was mentally sicker, him or me.

  As my ears filled with the drumming of her heart, I whispered in her ear: “I am death and I am here to take you away from this world. No one will ever care that you are missing. When you die you will forget all of this and there will be nothing more for you.” With that I turned and bit deeply into her neck. As I became fully aroused I drew deeply from her body.