by Cleo Fox
As plain as anyone could come.
It was doubtful with the hood up that anyone would recognize or even care who I was. I could go around to the different roller coasters in peace, maybe even get something good to eat.
I had over twelve hours before the morning when Roberta would have to take my blood sugar. By then, it would be more than back to normal. I just needed to eat something small and not tempt myself with the buffet.
I headed straight toward the first roller coaster, the Cyclone, my favorite of the three the park offered. I'd probably ride it more than once with my jump the line pass. I didn't have time to wait around for an hour to get on each time. The pass was worth the money, even if it pissed off people who'd be waiting in line.
My dad was responsible for getting me addicted to roller coasters. They were the perfect stress reliever.
"Count with me, Chanel, and when we get to the top, we can scream as loud as we want, and no one will bat an eye. You can let out all your frustrations then."
He'd taken me to the park one afternoon when I was frustrated with my mother for making me take piano lessons, even though I hated every second of it. I was so mad I wanted to scream. That's when my dad had me go with him to the park. I was just barely tall enough to get on the smallest roller coaster, and he taught me I could scream all I wanted on them, while thinking about things that made me angry, so I could let it all out.
I kept my hood up to hide my face. My back prickled. I felt like I was being watched. I tried to peer around, but I didn't want to seem too paranoid. It was probably all in my head. Walking past the line for the biggest roller coaster, I held my pass out to the guy in charge of letting people in or out as another guy manned the controls.
The guy scanned the QR code on my pass, and when his checker turned green, he let me through. Some people tried to use expired passes to skip the line, and I always made sure to update mine. When and if I got to Paris, or wherever I ended up, I would make sure to get line passes there, too. I couldn't live without riding on a coaster at least a few times a year. I would go mad from all the pent-up emotions, mostly anger for the situation I was forced into.
I had to wait until the current ride was over, but as the people got off, I took the first seat at the front. I wanted to see it all. Getting on, I strapped myself in and waited for it to fill up. A guy walked down the line, checking to make sure each person had fully clicked everything into place and nothing would come undone during the ride.
After an eternity, the ride began with a whoosh. As we took off like a bullet, I laughed. Then it slowed to climb the massive hill that would end in an epic drop.
I counted the seconds.
One.
As soon as the drop hit I could scream.
Five.
Scream about my mother and the things she forced me into for her ideals.
Ten.
Scream about Jason and the way he manhandled me, and that I did nothing to stop it, more afraid of what he would do if I fully stood up to him and fought back.
Fifteen .
How I didn't have any true friends. Everyone I was around during the day was there because of Jason. They were the friends he cultivated. Including Lyric. I mean, she was fucking him, probably right this second. Even though I was certain he wasn't being truthful with himself and compensated for it by being overly sexual.
Twenty.
How even though I could run now, not having a destination or reason for going held me back. Not knowing was scary. I wanted the college to give me a reason. At least then I would have more direction, a goal for my life, other than wandering aimlessly until I found something that made me feel whole.
We reached the top, the coaster stopping for half a second as people geared up for the steep drop that would then go into two loops and a huge curve.
My stomach rose up into my chest as we plummeted. Arms raised in the air, I screamed at the top of my lungs, letting the tears fall that wanted to come, letting out all of the pain of the last few months, cleaning the slate so I could make it through the winter without going through the dark thoughts that would enter my mind.
The permanent run away.
I didn't want that, not really, but sometimes it got hard to quiet the voice inside my head that told me it would make everything easier.
My dad did it. Clearly, it worked for making it all stop.
We sat in a circle in my basement, passing around the bong. I loved the weekends for the fact we could smoke if we'd done well the week before for assignments. Sometimes I wanted to smoke during the week, but I knew it would make me super lazy if I did that, and I would get nothing important done.
I frowned at Sai, who'd just arrived and taken his first hit, before passing it back to me. Maybe I hadn't heard him right. "She brought you food?"
He nodded. "Yep, a burger, fries, and chocolate shake from Bonanza. It was good."
Bon sat forward next to me. "How do you feel? If you feel even the slightest bit sick, we should take you to the ER to make sure she didn't poison you or give you something that will make you shit your pants."
Sai laughed. "I ate it over an hour ago. I think if she did either of those things, it would've affected me by now. Besides, I was skeptical, too. She took a drink from my shake to prove it wasn't poisoned and offered to take bites out of the burger and fries as well."
Bon snickered.
Sai huffed. "Get your mind out of the gutter, man. It wasn't like that."
I passed the bong to Bon and he took a hit off it, clearing the chamber in one go and filling the room with even more cloudy haze. "Why did she get you food?"
Sai shrugged. "She said she didn't want to eat quickly in her car or be the only one eating. Honestly, I was shocked to see her eating at all."
Rhett nodded. "Isn't there a rumor going around school that she's anorexic? Maybe she's just bulimic?"
Sai shook his head. "She didn't eat quickly, and it was nearly an hour and a half before she got up to use the bathroom, so I don't think so. She ate like it was going to be her last meal, slow and savoring each bite. It's almost like she's being starved or something."
I sat farther back in my bean bag. "That's odd, but nothing to write home about. At least you got me her number. I have my people working on it as we speak. If she has dirt anywhere on her phone or her cloud, they'll find it. We should have something by the end of the weekend. How was she to tutor? Slow?"
Sai shook his head. "No. She came prepared with questions on the things she didn't understand and what exactly she needed to cover in the essay for Mr. Goldstein to give her a B at minimum. Honestly, I'm not sure why she wants a tutor, at least for Civics. Perhaps it's a lack of confidence in her own ability, but she seems to understand everything at an average level to pass the class without too much effort. She wants to meet again next week. I'm not going to turn down the cash. I'm saving up for my Firebird."
I nodded. "Good. No reason to help her for free. So, she paid you right away? Didn't skirt around it or anything?"
Sai shook his head. "Nope. Honestly, she wasn't that bad. She had a little attitude, but she didn't insult me or anything. Even said she would be willing to work with Rhett and Bon. She really doesn't like you, but I told her you're good at Physics." He looked to Bon and Rhett before taking the bong from the latter. "You two should reach out to her separately and offer your services, again." He then looked back to me. "And you need to apologize for calling her stupid, so she'll be more willing to work with you." Sai took his hit and blew the smoke off to the side.
I huffed as I took the bong back from him. The bowl now black. I took the stem out. "Fine. I'll send her a message tonight. It's not my fault she's so sensitive."
Rhett laughed. "Dude, I think anyone would be sensitive if they're called stupid. Have you ever taken the time to actually date a girl and not just fuck them?"
I scowled at the idea. "Relationships are too messy and take up too much time when I could be using that to help further the and
roids of the future. Fucking is easier. You get the tension out without any strings attached. Remember what Bon went through last year with Ashley? That shit show could've easily been avoided."
Bon frowned at me. "Thanks, man. I'm still not over her, just so you know."
I snorted. "Well, you should be. She wasn't worth it."
Bon sighed and rolled his eyes. "You really could do with a dose of empathy in your life, dude. It would serve you well." He then sat forward. "That sativa is making me want to go do something. Let's eat some of those edibles you have and go to the amusement park. I bet the rides will be awesome high."
Empathy only caused pain, and I liked to avoid pain as much as possible. I shrugged. "Sure, it's walking distance from here, so we don't even have to have Sai drive high. He turns into a granny when high, anyway."
Sai kicked my bag from across the gap. "Hey, I don't want to get pulled over while high. I can't have that on my record. But the amusement park does sound like fun. Especially with an edible to give us body highs."
Standing, I went to the stash cupboard and got down two peanut butter cookies my bud made in exchange for some shatter. He was really good at making edibles that were strong but not overly potent in the grassy flavor.
I broke each of the cookies in half, taking one half for myself before passing out the others. Half would be more than enough if we still wanted to be able to walk later. Just enough to make the rides fun as hell. One of the perks of being a bit in the ghetto and near the amusement park.
I motioned to them to follow me as they ate. "C'mon, we'll digest better if we walk. Plus, I don't want to be crossing the intersection on fourth stoned out of my mind."
They followed me upstairs. The TV blared. My dad sat passed out in his La-Z-Boy, a pint of cheap whiskey in his hand. My mother was at work. She didn't care about the weed, stating she did it at my age, and I was eighteen and legally could make my own decisions. Even if I wasn't old enough in the eyes of the law to buy it from a dispensary.
Leaving the house, we set out on the four-mile trek.
We made it just as the cookie sent waves through my body, making me feel like jello from my feet to my forearms. It took an hour, but it set in nicely. We were about a block from the parking lot entrance. We would have to cut through it in order to get to where they sold the tickets and passes. Luckily for everyone, since I lived so close, I would often buy a family pass, so they could get in free, and then purchased line passes when we got to the place.
None of us wanted to wait in line for rides when we were high off our asses. Talk about a buzz kill.
A red car drove past us, and I frowned. Something about it sparked something in my head, but I couldn't pinpoint what it was.
Rhett pointed as it turned into the parking lot. "Hey, isn't that Chanel's car?"
My eyes widened. He was right.
Sai nodded. "Yeah, I was admiring it when I left our session today."
I groaned. "Great, that must mean Brooks is with her."
Rhett sighed. "I don't want to have to deal with him on the weekend."
Sai shrugged. "Let's follow her and find out. If he is with her, then we can go do something else or avoid them. When I was on her phone earlier, it looked like they didn't text much, if at all."
I heaved my shoulders. Playing spy did sound like fun. At least for a minute. If she did bring the douche, we could go to the movies. It was only another mile.
We followed her car inside, watching as she parked in one of the special VIP guest sections. I raised an eyebrow. That meant she'd spent some serious money on their all-season pass. She didn't even have to buy the rapid passes and could bring up to five friends or family with her. If it wasn't her, I would've had no problem going up to her and asking if we could tag along.
She got out of her car, dressed in a dark-blue hoodie, black sweats, and old trainers. If it weren't for her signature red hair, I would've thought we’d mistaken her for someone else. Peering around, she shoved her phone and wallet into the pocket of her hoodie and pulled the hood up to hide her face.
Where in the world did she get a Yale hoodie from? It was way too big for her.
I looked over my shoulder at Sai. "Did she look like that when you saw her earlier? I don't think I've ever seen her without makeup."
Sai shook his head with a frown. "She looked how she always looks. Perfect makeup, perfect hair, and an outfit that was tailored for her. " He blinked his eyes hard. "Maybe we're just super high."
Rhett pointed. "She came alone, no Brooks with her, so we can go in."
I frowned, watching and waiting as she went to the ticket booth to get let in with her silver pass. "Who comes to an amusement park alone? Why isn't she with her friends? And why does she look like that?"
My stomach flipped, and I frowned at my own internal reaction to her. She looked a lot hotter done down than she did done up. Like the kind of girls I hung out with. I mentally slapped myself for even entertaining the idea of hanging out with her. She was the enemy. She was one of the people we were going to get revenge on this year.
I motioned as she walked off. "Let's follow her and see what she does."
Bon sighed. "I don't feel like stalking her. I want to ride some rides."
I nodded as we headed toward the ticket booth. "We will. We'll just do it while seeing what she's doing here. I'm curious, and it might give us some dirt on her." I stepped up to the ticket booth and handed over my pass. “They're with me as my family, and I'd like four line passes please."
I handed over one-hundred-and-sixty dollars for the line passes, glad I got them since Chanel would be able to skip lines, too.
The old guy stared at the cash before taking it, then passed over four cheap lanyards with line passes attached to them. "Have so much fun."
He didn't even try to smile.
Well, somebody sounded like he hated his job. Taking the passes, I handed them out and we hurried inside. I jogged, even though it was hard for my jello legs, in order to catch up with Chanel. She moved through the crowd, head down, acting like many of us had when we wanted to be invisible.
It was so strange. It was like seeing her doppelganger. Maybe it was.
She headed straight for the fastest roller coaster right off the bat. Is she a secret thrill seeker?
She bypassed the line. We hung back, waiting for her to get on before we also used our passes to cut the line and get on in the middle of the coaster. She took the front seat. She was a thrill seeker, facing all that came head-on.
Well, this was warping my view of her, and I wasn't sure I liked it.
The ride took off like a bullet, and she raised her hands in the air, unafraid. I didn't mind rollercoasters, but I still kept a death grip on my metal handles. My heart hammered as we entered the first incline. Each click making my palms sweat more before we finally reached the top. Silence fell over the coaster just before the plunge hit.
Everyone screamed, and I shut my eyes, using one hand to hold my glasses to my face. I should've put them in the pocket of my jacket, but I spaced out while thinking about following her. From the plunge, we went into a loop and my stomach rose to my throat for a second. We then swooped around in a circle, two more loops, then two more climbs and falls. By the end of it, I was sure I'd left my body at least once as it hummed with the edible having entered my system for the first major round of highs.
The ride came to a stop, and it took me a second to get my bearings before I climbed off. I watched as Chanel had no issue getting up from her seat and going out the exit line.
How the fuck does she look so calm? She was at the front of the ride. She experienced it with more force than any of us, and she looked like it was the Ferris Wheel.
Sai patted me on the shoulder. "You okay, bud? If you need to barf, say something now."
I shook my head. I wouldn't barf. I could handle fast rides, especially if she could.
Rhett ran a hand through his hair as we stared after her retreating form. She was
headed straight for the next roller coaster. This one was known for spinning and curling around the track.
Rhett shook his head. "She certainly is an adrenaline junkie. She rode in the front seat like a seasoned pro. We should see if she wants to hang out since Brooks isn't around to be a dick."
I stared at him wide-eyed. "Have you lost your mind, Rhett? We can't just hang out with her. Like she would willingly do that, anyway."
He laughed. "No, I'm just high, and it looks like she could use people to hang out with. Besides, we could see what this version of her is like.” His green eyes looked to Sai and Bon. “What do you guys think?"
Bon shrugged. "I don't care. I just want to ride more rides."
Sai also shrugged. "Don't be surprised if she's a bitch and says no. Though, she was acting a bit out of character earlier today, too. Even if she told me she got the food for me for selfish reasons."
I sighed. "Fine, let's do this. We can catch up with her after we get on the next ride.”
More tears coursed down my cheeks as I rode the Spinner. Instead of one long train, it had several smaller seats positioned back-to-back in a circle. It spun a hundred-eighty degrees while also spin around the track, turning us upside down. It wasn't my favorite of the coasters the park had to offer, but it did help with getting more of the emotions out. It always made me think of my dad and how much he would of have loved it if he hadn’t died.
It felt like any typical day after school. The driver had come to get me. Normally it was my dad who picked me up, but sometimes, if he had too much work or Grandfather needed him at the corporation downtown, he sent the driver to get me.
He had told me that morning he was close to making everything good so we could run off to Paris and live our lives away from Mom.