Buckeye Dreams

by Jennifer A. Davids

  “The board of trustees decided that our original name, the Ohio Agricultural and Mechanical College, wasn’t a broad enough name for our institution. After all, more is taught here than agriculture and mechanical engineering. Calling us ‘The Ohio State University’ fulfills that idea and sets us apart from the other colleges in Ohio.”

  “Be careful, Mr. Smart. Pride goeth before destruction …, ” Anne warned.

  “You think there’s something wrong in being proud of one’s university, Miss Kirby?” another young man asked. Anne couldn’t quite remember his name but recalled he was an arts major.

  “No, but it doesn’t seem very Christian to look down on the other fine institutions Ohio has to offer,” she replied.

  “You misunderstand me, Miss Kirby.” Mr. Smart smiled. “None of us look down on any of the other colleges here in Ohio or anywhere else.” The other students murmured in assent. “We just want The OSU to be one of the best educational institutions in the country. Mark my words, one day we will be.”

  “I’ve heard the library is certainly getting us off on the right foot,” Mr. Howard said. “I understand the new location in the Main Building is much larger.”

  “I didn’t have the opportunity to see the library in the old room, but the new one is quite impressive,” Anne replied.

  “I’m sure your presence and hard work make it even more so.” Mr. Howard smiled broadly. “I’ll have to visit sometime very soon.”

  “Yes, Pat, with the start of the new term, I’m sure we’ll all make time to visit—and often,” George added.

  The men nodded, and it wasn’t lost on Anne that their library visits would be more than just educational in nature. She politely returned their smiles, all the while clenching her teeth, determined to politely rebuff them when the time came. She hated to have to do it. They were all very nice young men, but she wasn’t what they were looking for in a wife.

  Anne excused herself and joined her uncle, who was talking with Professor Townshend. “I’m glad those two mares seem to be working out,” he said as she approached.

  “Yes, they should foal next summer,” Dr. Townshend replied. He smiled broadly at her approach. “Well, Anne, how nice to see you.”

  “Hello, Dr. Townshend.” The professor had been with the university since its inception and a great help to her brother when he had been one of its first agricultural students.

  “How is your brother?” he asked.

  “Jacob is doing very well. He speaks of you often.”

  “I’m glad he and your father were able to attend the free lecture we gave last year.”

  “They went on about it for days after they returned,” Anne replied. “If you’ll excuse me, but were you and my uncle talking about the two mares you brought to the farm to breed with Scioto a few months ago?”

  “Yes, we were,” Uncle Daniel replied. He gave her a warning look, but she ignored it in her enthusiasm to find out about the mares’ condition.

  “I would love to see them foal when the time comes,” she said eagerly.

  “Really?” Anne turned to see Patrick Howard standing behind her, his eyebrows raised. “That can be a rather distressing sight, Miss Kirby.”

  Seeing a way of getting rid of at least one potential suitor, she went on. “I don’t think I’d find it distressing in the least, Mr. Howard.”

  “Oh, you don’t?”

  Relief shot through her as the puzzled look on the young man’s face told her she had hit her mark. But it evaporated when her uncle looked reprovingly at her. Dr. Townshend quickly changed the subject and began to discuss the hopes he and Professor Lazenby had for the relatively new agricultural experiment station.

  Later it wasn’t surprising when Patrick Howard excused himself from accompanying them on their short trip home. Her uncle remained quiet as they rode, and Anne didn’t pretend to not know why. She had no desire to talk about it. But the silence was stifling. Eventually she spoke just to clear it.

  “I wonder if it will rain tonight,” she said.

  “You didn’t ruin your chances with just him, you know.” It was hard to see his expression in the dark, but his quiet tone painted a clear picture. “Those other four young men room in the same boardinghouse.”

  “I’m … I’m sorry, Uncle Daniel. It’s just—” Tears edged her voice. She regretted what she had done, but what else could she do?

  Her uncle misread her sadness and took her hand. “I’m sorry, Anne. I ambushed you tonight. But your ma and pa and I, we want to see you settled. You must at least try.”

  Anne dabbed at her eyes and turned the conversation around. She didn’t want to make a promise she couldn’t keep. “What about you, Uncle Daniel?”

  “What about me?”

  “You’ve been sad, too. Mrs. Werner told me about Mr. Ward.” He still held her hand, and she squeezed it. “I’m sorry. I know you miss Joseph.”

  For several minutes, he said nothing, and only the crunch and hiss of the gravel under the carriage wheels and the clop of the horse’s feet echoed in the background.

  “I had hoped he would stay,” Uncle Daniel said finally, his voice soft and distant. “It seemed like he wanted to. I don’t understand why he didn’t. It was like having him back again.”

  Anne felt tears beginning to reassert themselves and quickly swallowed them. “But Joseph will be back for Christmas, won’t he? And Rebecca will be here with her husband?”

  “What? Oh yes, I got a letter from each of them a few days ago. They’ll be home for Christmas.”

  “There then, you’ll have them both back for a few days at least. That’s something we can both take comfort in and look forward to.”

  Her uncle nodded. “Yes, you’re right. I guess it was a little foolish of me to pine away for the past.” He sounded a little more like himself. “We both must be about ‘forgetting those things which are behind, and reaching forth unto those things which are before.’ ”

  She swallowed, her smile fading. “I’ll try.”

  “As for me, having Scioto here now is a blessing and a comfort.”

  The house and stable came into view. She didn’t like having to tell him about Ben now, but in light of what he just said, he needed to know. “I’m sorry I was late coming down. But I just had to slip out to see Scioto before I got dressed.”

  Her uncle listened quietly as she told him about his horse’s condition, how she’d quickly brushed him down, and her concerns about Ben. By the time she finished, they stood on the front porch. From the light of the oil lamp shining through the parlor window, she could make out his stern expression.

  “I promised your pa I would keep you from doing anything more than visiting Scioto,” he said quietly. “You promised him the same. How do you know Ben wasn’t out fetching something he needed? He could also have been out having his dinner.”

  Anne lowered her gaze. Neither of those things had occurred to her. “I’m sorry, Uncle Daniel.”

  “Let Ben take care of Scioto,” he said gently.

  October 1884

  Peter walked toward the lecture room where chapel was held. The short faculty-led devotional took place every day in the Main Building at this time and was mandatory for every student. Ever since Mike had given him the task of sweeping up the room afterward, he managed to time the rest of his duties so he would arrive to catch all if not most of the service. He stood outside the door, of course. Although no one had ever discouraged him from doing so, he didn’t feel right sitting in on the services.

  He could hear the student choir singing as he approached, indicating that they had only just started. Taking his usual spot next to the room’s double doors, he leaned himself and his broom against the wall, wondering which of the faculty would speak today. Whoever it was, he hoped they would read a passage from scripture. Many times one of the professors simply read from the writings of a renowned theologian, and once, a passage from Emerson had been read. But when a passage of the Bible was chosen, the comments af
terward were always enlightening. There were still portions of the Bible that left Peter completely lost, and this was the only opportunity he had to have scripture explained to him. Mike kept close to the university on Sundays, and the day usually entailed them singing a hymn or two and reading from one of the Gospels.

  The choir began another song, and Peter’s mind wandered to the other tasks Mike had assigned to him today. His boss was very pleased with how well he had taken to his job. Peter seemed to have a knack for fixing things. It would appear that God had answered his prayers about His path for his life. Then why aren’t I happy about it? He found himself still yearning to be around horses. A great number of his duties were around or near the university farm buildings. Every time he saw the horses stabled there, he felt a pang of longing and envied the students assigned to care for them.

  Then there was Anne Kirby. Try as he might—pray as he might—her face was never too far from his thoughts, and he always seemed to see her somewhere, in the halls of the Main Building or walking home in the afternoon with her uncle. Even more troublesome was the sense of sadness about her. It made the urge to charm a smile back on her face even more difficult to control. Thank goodness there had never been an opportunity to speak to her again. I’m trying to do what’s right, Lord. I’m trying to walk away from my past, but I feel like a horse on the end of a lunge line, going in one big circle. He winced. Couldn’t he even pray without images of his old life crowding in?

  From inside the chapel a voice began to speak, and Peter’s heart gave a start as he recognized it.

  “ ‘ The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want.’ ” Dr. Kirby read. “ ‘He maketh me to lie down in green pastures: he leadeth me beside the still waters. He restoreth my soul: he leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his name’s sake. Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff, they comfort me. Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies: thou anointest my head with oil; my cup runneth over. Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life: and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever.’ ”

  If there was more, Peter didn’t hear it. He was too much in awe of how God had just used the voice of Professor Kirby to speak to him. How could he have forgotten the promises of the Twenty-Third Psalm? Thank You for reminding me You’re still guiding me. He was still praying when the double door opened and students began to stream from the room. Peter shook himself, and after the last of the students had exited, he entered, all eyes on the podium, upon which sat a Bible. It still lay open to Psalm 23. He was rereading the words when he heard voices.

  “I had hoped the reading today would bring you comfort.”

  Peter turned. Professor Kirby and his niece stood near the window. Neither of them had seen him; the professor’s back was to him, and Anne’s eyes were lowered. She said nothing in response to her uncle, and Peter heard him let out an exasperated sigh.

  “Jonah never should have allowed Sam McAllister to get away with leading you on in such a way. If I were him, I would have beat the living daylights—”

  Peter quickly cleared his throat, and they both turned to him. “I’m sorry,” he said. “I thought the room was empty.”

  Anne looked away, and a smile quickly replaced the startled look on the professor’s face. He walked over to Peter and shook his hand. “Not at all. It’s very good to see you.”

  “I didn’t hear much—”

  “Don’t give it another thought. We should be having this conversation in a more private place. Please, allow me to introduce my niece, Anne Kirby.” With reluctant steps, she joined them on the podium. “Anne, this is Peter Ward.”

  “Actually, we’ve met already,” Peter said. “Sort of.” Her cheeks reddened, making her look so beautiful that he forgot himself, his charm overriding all else. “Please let me know if you find any more spiders. My boot is at your service.”

  The professor looked at Anne with raised eyebrows. “I encountered a spider my first day at the library, Uncle Daniel,” she said. “Mr. Ward was kind enough to kill it for me.” His heart swelled at the little smile she bestowed on him. “Thank you again.”

  “Not at all,” he replied. Their eyes locked for a moment, and he swore he saw something other than melancholy color in them, but it quickly vanished. He carefully closed the Bible on the podium and handed it to her.

  “If I’m not mistaken, this goes with you.” Their fingers brushed, and he thought he could power the whole university with the surge that the brief contact triggered. He thrust his hands in his pockets.

  “If you will excuse me,” Anne said. “I really should get back to the library.”

  “Of course,” Dr. Kirby said. A gentle sort of sternness colored his voice. “We’ll talk later.”

  She nodded and, with a final glance at Peter, left the room. He didn’t realize he was still looking at the door until the professor grasped his shoulder. Words of apology sat on his tongue, but he didn’t need them.

  “Thank you,” the professor said.

  “Sir?”

  “That’s the first smile I’ve seen from her in a week. I guess you can surmise what happened to her from what you overheard.”

  Peter nodded. “I’ll pray for her, sir.” He almost regretted making that promise, but he didn’t like the weariness that suddenly lined the professor’s face. God would just have to help him handle whatever feelings praying for Anne evoked. He rubbed the back of his neck. “But I am sorry that I overheard your conversation. I had no idea you both were standing there.”

  “Don’t be. Probably best that you know how shamefully she was treated so you can be clear in your prayers.” The professor pulled out his pocket watch then snapped it shut. “I should go. My next class is waiting for me.” He shook Peter’s hand and left.

  Peter retrieved his broom from the hall, and as he swept the lecture hall, he wished he could sweep away his guilt as easily. He’d never seen the other side of his actions before, never seen the condition of the hearts he’d left broken. Seeing the sadness in Miss Kirby’s eyes gave him an excruciatingly clear picture. Lord, please allow her heart to be healed of its hurts. And forgive me for ever doing to anyone what was done to her. The words of the psalm returned to his mind. Restore her soul.

  Chapter 6

  Anne climbed the stairs to the library with shaky steps. She hadn’t imagined that the janitor’s assistant was the same young man her uncle had helped over a month ago. Since that was clearly the case, then he certainly wasn’t married. It had been easier to keep thoughts of him far from her mind when she’d imagined him with a wife and children. She stopped on the landing between the second and third floors. It will still be easy once I go into town tomorrow. Tomorrow was Saturday, and her uncle had a faculty meeting for a large portion of the day. If she could get by Mrs. Werner, she intended to take the streetcar into the city. She couldn’t wait any longer. The prospect made her feet turn to water as she continued.

  “There you are,” Emma said as Anne walked back into the library. She took the Bible from her. “Are you all right?”

  “Fine,” Anne replied. “Those stairs can be quite a chore.”

  “Yes, it’s taking me some time getting used to running up and down them myself.”

  Anne looked around the library. Shelves blocked some of her view of the room, but from what she could see and hear, it seemed empty. “I guess we better shelve some books while we have the chance.” A mysterious smile formed on Emma’s lips. “What?”

  “Nothing,” she said a little too brightly. She took the Bible from Anne. “I’ll start with this. I think there are some books lying on a shelf on the far side of the room.”

  Anne walked between two shelves to the open area where the study tables sat. Patrick Howard sat at one of them with a mythology book lying open before him. She knew studying was not his motivation for his visit. She sighed. This was the third time in as many weeks t
hat he’d come to the library specifically to visit her. What she had said at Dr. Townshend’s party hadn’t deterred him for long. He’d clearly seen the advantage in the possibility of a wife who had no trouble seeing animals born.

  She stepped back and leaned against the shelf. With the exception of Mr. Howard, she may have put off the other young men from the party, but there were certainly more where they came from. Several eligible young men had approached her since the term started. With few exceptions, the majority of them were nice, and Anne truly hated discouraging them. Each time she did so, it was a reminder that her chance to become someone’s wife and helpmeet was no longer possible, the reason she’d become sad and moody over the past month. She peeked out at where Mr. Howard sat. She might as well get this one over with.

  She stepped out from between the shelves, and he looked up and smiled at her.

  “Good afternoon, Miss Kirby.”

  Anne pasted on a polite smile. “How are you today, Mr. Howard?”

  “Very fine, thank you. I enjoyed your uncle’s reading during chapel. It’s nice hearing the Twenty-Third Psalm recited with such meaning. It was as if he were trying to give someone a bit of comfort.”

  Anne’s smile flattened a little. “Is Bullfinch’s Mythology required reading now for a degree in agriculture?”

  Mr. Howard’s face reddened. “No, it was just sitting here when I came in.” He stood and walked over to her. “The weather has been very fine, lately, and I wanted to ask if you would be interested in accompanying me and some other students to Goodale Park tomorrow. I understand from your uncle you have no plans.”

  His invitation caused Anne to pause. Goodale Park, according to her uncle, was close to the city. Accepting might be to her advantage.

  “Oh, but I’m not a student, Mr. Howard. Would the others want me along?” If she accepted too quickly, he and Uncle Daniel—who was clearly in on this—might suspect something.

  “It’s all upperclassmen, Miss Kirby. Seniors, mostly.” Hope shone in his eyes. “Please come, we’d love to have you.”