Altered

by Marnee Blake

  “I’m sorry.” He ran a hand over his head. “The nosebleeds, the headaches. You. I was afraid.”

  He took her hand. “I told you about Bobby. But I didn’t give you the whole story.” She shook her head. “Bobby was one of my best friends. We were nothing alike, except maybe we were. I don’t know. He was in the ’Stan, taking pictures, and I was in the detail assigned to watch him. He was shooting government propaganda stuff, pretty standard, but he also took other things, candids. Wanted to see what the real experience was like. He was very talented.” He stared into space, smiling softly. “The day he died, I was with him. We were attacked, and he wanted to get some shots. I knew it was a bad idea, but he begged. So I let him move closer. I even pointed him where to go.”

  He swallowed. “I was wrong. A rocket, right where he was standing. He died instantly.”

  “I’m so sorry.” Her heart ached for him. She got the impression he didn’t have many close friends.

  “I should have listened to my gut. I could have made him move to safety. But he wanted to go. I could have made him stay, but I didn’t. If I had, he’d still be here. Instead, his wife and son don’t have him anymore.” He paused. “And neither do I.”

  She reached for his hand. Since Gran’s death, she knew all too well what it was like to feel guilty for surviving. “If he wanted to go, really wanted to go, do you think you could have stopped him?” She raised her eyebrow. “Short of physically restraining him? Shooting him?”

  “Of course not.”

  “Right, because that’s nuts. He was an adult. He made his own choices. We all do. And you cared about him, and you wanted him to be happy. You didn’t shoot him with a rocket. You didn’t know the rocket was even coming.”

  “I don’t know.” He squeezed her hand, not letting up the pressure at all as he continued. “Anyway. I couldn’t stop thinking that I was going to get you killed. That once again, I was going to be the reason someone else I cared about died.” He lifted his eyes, meeting hers. “Someone I’d come to love.”

  She inhaled. She hadn’t allowed herself to think about how much she wanted his love. She’d been left behind so many times, by her parents, by her previous boyfriend. And Gran. But now, maybe because she’d lost Gran or because she’d seen how fast things in her new reality could go wrong, now she wasn’t afraid anymore. “Yeah, well, it takes you longer to figure stuff out.”

  Seth grinned, his eyes soft. “Of course you had to be first.”

  “Of course.”

  “I love you, babe.” He reached up and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. “I only want to be with you, wherever we go. I want to go with you. All this stuff doesn’t make sense, but I feel like together, we can figure it out.”

  “That, Seth Campbell, is exactly the right thing to say.”

  “It is?”

  “Exactly.” She squeezed his hand. “I love you.”

  “And I love you, too.” He moved forward, pressing his lips to hers. The kiss held promise, was gentle and full of respect. She leaned into him, wanting to get closer, knowing that the sanity in her crazy world was with him, a breath away. But her shoulder ached, and she flinched in pain. “Ouch.”

  “You should be lying down,” he scowled as he helped her back, tucking the pillow under her. “We can only stay here another day, maybe two at the most, before we need to get moving.”

  “Where are we?”

  “Spare room at a friend’s house. A medic Nick worked with before.” Seth pulled the blankets over her. “He saved your life, so I guess he’s my friend, too, now.” He shook his head. “I thought I was going to lose you. I can’t…”

  “I’m here, though. And I’m going to be more careful. I swear. Until we can figure out what’s going on. Until we can find a cure for this.” She didn’t mention her experience with the peace. She suspected she was closer to death than she wanted him to know.

  “Thank you. We will. We have to.” His eyes squeezed shut. “I don’t think I can do that again.”

  “You won’t.” Her eyelids felt heavy again. Man, she was a big baby.

  “You should get some sleep. You’ve had a rough few days.”

  “Where are we going to go?” Her words were slurred, but she didn’t want him to leave. Not yet.

  “To Idaho. I hear there are some anti-government communes there that might hide us for a little while.”

  “My mom?” Even tired, the horror was clear in her voice.

  “We need somewhere to search for Kitty. We don’t leave people behind. One way or the other, we’re going to get to the bottom of this.”

  “Now you’re talking,” As her eyes drifted closed, she couldn’t help her smug smile. Yeah, they’d get to the bottom of this, all right. And when they did…

  God help anyone who stood in their way.

  Seth closed the door to Blue’s room, listening for a moment to make sure she was asleep. Across the room, Nick’s fingers paused on the keyboard of their friend’s borrowed computer. “How is she?”

  “She woke up.” He grinned. “She’s going to be okay.” Saying the words made it feel real. She’d made it. There’d been times over the past days he’d wondered. He’d barely slept. Never had he known so much fear. But she’d made it. She’d be okay.

  “Good.” Nick’s smile faded, though. “So, what next?”

  Seth sobered. “You’re welcome to come with us, to Blue’s mom’s house. From there, we’re going to try to find Kitty.”

  Nick stared at the computer. “I tried to talk to her, you know. Kitty. About Jeremy. He’d become so unsettled these past months, detached. He got caught sleeping with a subordinate. Was getting an other-than-honorable discharge. I knew he was capable of anything. I should have told her more.” He shook his head. “I need to make it right. I hope you understand.”

  Seth did. There were some things people had to do.

  “I need to get her back, Seth.” Nick’s words were angry, almost violent. “I need to.”

  Seth nodded. “We will, Nick. We will.”

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  Acknowledgments

  Writing these short paragraphs has reminded me how many people have helped me on my path to publication. My heart is full. I can’t possibly thank everyone, but know that I appreciate you all and couldn’t have done this without you.

  First, thank you to anyone who reads this book. Readers are the reason writers write. My gratitude is endless.

  To my beta readers, brainstormers, and critique partners over the years, especially Terri, Jessica, Fran, Laurie, Kim, Haleigh, Jordan, and Kate. You all have helped me to grow in so many ways. I wouldn’t be here if not for all of you. Big hugs.

  Thanks to my super agent, Helen Breitwieser, for all your guidance and support. Also, a huge thank you to my editor, Candace Havens, and the team at Entangled. This book is better because of all of you and your amazing talents.

  Thank you to the women and men of the Romance Writers of America. Through that organization, I connected with so many amazing specialty chapters, especially New Jersey RWA, YARWA, the Beau Monde, and Kiss of Death. Through RWA’s Golden Heart contest, I met the Dreamweavers and the Dragonflies, the two classes of finalists I’m fortunate enough to be a part of. The knowledge and camaraderie of all of these women and men is humbling and gratifying. Thank you all for your friendship and expertise. I’m a better writer and a better person for my experiences with you.

  A hearty huzzah to the pirates of the Romance Writers’ Revenge. You girls were my first writing sisters. I wouldn’t have kept going through some of those early years if not for you. Thank you all.

  To Caroline Linden, who took me under her wing years ago. Your gener
ous advice has guided me through lots of confusing times. I’m so lucky to call you my friend.

  I couldn’t ask for a better support system than my extended family and friends, especially my two earliest readers, my Mom and my sister, Aubree. Thank you all for wanting the best for me. I love you.

  Finally, and most importantly, my eternal thanks to my family. To my husband, George, my rock and the calm in my storm. Nothing I say could come close to expressing how much I adore you. Your faith and support have never faltered. I’m blessed to have you in my corner. Also, thank you to our two sons. You both cheered for me when things went well and cheered me up when they didn’t. All three of you shared me with the characters in my head as I chased this dream. I love you all.

  About the Author

  Two-time Golden Heart® Finalist Marnee Blake used to teach high school students but these days she only has to wrangle her own children. Originally from a small town in Western Pennsylvania, she now battles traffic in southern New Jersey where she lives with her hero husband and their happily-ever-after: two very energetic boys. When she isn’t writing, she can be found refereeing disputes between her children, cooking up something sweet, or hiding from encroaching dust bunnies with a book.

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