Outlaw's Vow: Grizzlies MC Romance (Outlaw Love)

by Snow, Nicole

  Now karma was coming to pay, and she was a bitch so mean she'd hold me down, make me lick her bitter tasting boots.

  “Fucking shit.” The harsh words coming out of Roman's mouth didn't sound angry.

  They sounded...stunned. For a second, he stood next to the cradle like he'd just found a winning lottery ticket inside it. Everything beneath my waist went numb, terrified to move, anguish setting in as his huge hands reached inside and picked up my son.

  His son.

  “Fuck, you're mine,” he growled, keeping his back to me the whole time. “Mine. My son...”

  Tears stung my eyes like napalm. Something about watching the biggest asshole in the entire club go to pieces the second he held the kid reached up through my stomach and gutted me.

  Roman was a bastard. An irresponsible jackass. A man who couldn't keep it in his pants for a million bucks.

  But he was also a father. And I'd robbed him of that for more than a year.

  Slowly, agonizingly, the feeling returned to my toes. I forced myself to move through what felt like concrete, inching toward him. If only I could form words from the desert my mouth had become.

  Why wasn't Caleb crying? My baby boy was usually cranky after he woke up, but not now. Nobody except me and the babysitters normally held him. He always squirmed when cousin Norm did too.

  The baby cooed, smacked his lips, and laid his head against Roman's palm.

  Nothing made sense. He cried with almost everyone except me – everyone! – everybody except for this cruel, inked up, mountain of a man rocking Caleb's tiny body in his massive arms.

  “Roman,” I managed, calling to him when I was less than a foot away. “Please put him down. We'll go downstairs, talk this over. I'll explain –“

  “Explain what?”

  Shit. The rumble in his throat was just like a volcano winding up to explode. Slowly, he turned toward me, cradling Caleb tighter against his chest.

  “I'm not interested in a goddamned thing you've got to say. You lost the right to tell me shit the second you decided to keep my own son a secret.”

  Fuck. I couldn't hold the tears in anymore. They went spilling down my cheeks. Apparently for nothing because Roman's face didn't soften a bit.

  His honey colored eyes – the same beautiful hazel gems in Caleb's face – beamed total disgust. Hatred. I wondered where to find the closest cartel spider hole so I could crawl into it and die.

  “Roman!” Fear caused my voice to crack. “Don't do this. Please, whatever it is you need to say to me, just put the baby down. I don't want to see him upset.”

  “Upset?” His lips pulled up in a savage grin. “I'll never upset this amazing little bastard unless there's a damned good reason. Shit, what am I saying? The boy's not a bastard anymore. His father's here, and I'm sure as fuck gonna set things right. I'd say that's cause for celebration – how 'bout you?”

  I didn't have to strain to detect the venom rising in his voice. Oh, God. I'd be lucky to see Caleb or anything else again.

  With the way he was looking at me, I'd be really lucky to end up in a spider hole, and not just a remote ditch where nobody would ever find my body. My heart skipped every other beat, and I stepped backwards, shaking my head, putting my hands behind me to steady my failing knees against the wall.

  “I'm so, so fucking sorry, Roman. You've got to believe me! I never meant to hurt you. I never meant to keep him away forever. I didn't know you'd get out alive, or what you'd even gone away for. I just –“

  “Shut up.”

  My lips clamped shut. Roman stepped forward, softly stroking his son's brow. The soft, fatherly touch contrasted wickedly with his killer stare, devouring me piece by piece.

  With two words, he turned me to stone. I stood and watched, trying to remember to breathe, as Roman walked past. He headed for my bedroom.

  What the fuck? Caleb!

  I didn't seriously believe he'd hurt the baby, especially after he just gushed all over his new son. But the banging starting in the other room scared the hell out of me.

  “Hey! What're you doing in here?” I watched in disbelief as his huge hands ripped my closet open, tearing clothes off the hangers.

  Jesus. I imagined him building a huge bonfire out of my things, razing the entire farm to the ground.

  I wasn't blind to an outlaw biker's nature. They became total bloodthirsty barbarians under the right circumstances. And yeah, keeping his one year old son under wraps just might flip his murder, destroy, and burn switch.

  “Stop!” I screamed, getting in his face as clothes started flying out behind him. Caleb moaned in his arms, and he pushed me away. “You can't fucking do this, Roman. Give him back. Just give me my baby and tell me what you're going to do to us!”

  “He's coming with me, babe, and so are you.” Snarling, he pushed the baby back into my arms.

  Tears filled my eyes as I clutched him close, feeling his softness, praying it wouldn't be the very last time. I had to leave. I had to get out while I still could.

  Oh, except Roman blocked the door, kicking it shut. He stood like a sentinel, arms folded. He waited for me to fuck up, do something that would give him another chance to rip our child away.

  “You behave yourself, and I'll let you keep holding him. I'll tell you exactly what's gonna happen here, babe. You're gonna rifle through all that shit I just laid out on the bed and stuff it in a bag. Don't give a fuck if it's a suitcase, backpack, gun case, or garbage bag. Just get your fucking shit together as fast as your hands and feet can move. Now.”

  I blinked, then beamed every ounce of rage throttling my bloodstream at him. No effect. His cold, unmoving eyes pierced right through me, forcing me to turn toward the mess on the bed.

  Fuck him for doing this. Fuck him for finding out about Caleb. Fuck him for reminding me I had zero control over what happened next now that my worst nightmare was coming true.

  With a sigh, I gently put Caleb on the bed next to me and wiped my sore, wet eyes. Roman had already flung my big duffel bag out on the floor next to me, and I picked it up, remembering it used to belong to Uncle Ralph.

  What the hell would he say if he saw me now? Using the same bag we lugged along on our happy family camping trips to be taken hostage, without even putting up a fight?

  If only. Fighting wasn't an option. Not now.

  Roman would rip me apart if I resisted, take Caleb away from me forever. The hellfire in his eyes said his tolerance for bullshit had plummeted to zero.

  So, I packed in silence, trying not to look too closely at my baby or anything that would bring on more tears. By the time my bag was half full, I wanted to laugh.

  It would've been funny in a dark, twisted way if it weren't so awful. I wanted to laugh at the irony. It wasn't the cartel threatening to ruin my life for good.

  No, it was the man I once thought I loved, the bastard I never should've kissed, much less had a kid with. And now, that same utter bastard had his eyes glued to me like an eagle soaring over a desert rat.

  My judge, jury, and executioner, all in one.

  “Come on. Hurry it the fuck up, woman. I wanna be outta here by nightfall.”

  Where are you going to take me? A shallow grave?

  I honestly had no idea. I wouldn't put anything past him and the club. The penalty for some random bitch stealing a man's kid must be high, even if Blackjack seemed like a wise and reasonable man. There was no denying I'd wronged a brother in his club, and he wouldn't be protecting me.

  Thankfully, dead women didn't pack bags. That gave me a shred of hope.

  When I finally stuffed my last few pairs of panties in and zipped it shut, I couldn't stand it anymore. I turned toward him and flinched. The same icy, hateful stare on his strong face hadn't lessened a bit.

  “Pick up the kid. Let's go,” he growled, flinging the door open, holding out one arm for me to pass like the world's evilest gentleman.

  Women and children first, right?

  “Just tell me one thing.”
I swallowed the heavy lump in my throat. “Promise me you won't take away my baby. Not unless you kill me first.”

  He chuckled. Throaty. Raw. Infuriating.

  “Everybody in this room's coming with me alive, including you. I'm not the demon you think I am. We're gonna work through our issues, Sally. I've neglected this shit for far too long. I tried to walk the fuck away and forget. I'd have never done that if you'd told me the truth, and now, it's staring right at me.” He looked at Caleb, resting his head on my shoulder.

  “What issues? What are you saying?” Bikers don't do group therapy.

  Stepping forward, he backed me against the wall in the hallway, slowly and deliberately so Caleb wouldn't scream. “I'm giving you another chance because you're fucking hot and you've kept my kid safe. I'm not blind. You've been the biggest bitch in the world to me, but that's not a death sentence – not yet. You get one more try, babe. One more shot. Only one.”

  His hot, raging lips touched the edge of my ear. I shuddered.

  “We're gonna be one big, happy family, or I'm doing this shit on my own. You'll learn to smile real big and be the best old lady a man's ever had in the entire Grizzlies MC. I hope to fuck you packed something that'll make my dick throb on our honeymoon.”

  Honeymoon? Family? Old lady?!

  I wasn't sure if the lightning in his words hit my head or my heart first. All I remembered was breaking, sliding down along the wall, and sitting there while Roman took out his phone and dialed his guys.

  Half an hour later, the older man named Southpaw had Caleb in an SUV ahead of us, and we followed behind him, mounted on Roman's bike.

  The crisp autumn air normally caressed my cheeks, but out here, heading into Redding, it was like a slap in the face. Everything burned, especially my fingers. They wouldn't stop shaking no matter how tight I clung to his rock hard abs.

  Hating them. Loving them. Sick to death that this asshole's body could still make me feel anything except an urge to drive a sharp object into his throat.

  I'd never been into the psychic, superstitious stuff, but as we neared the clubhouse, I saw the future so clear it was like a prophecy.

  The worst chapter of my life was about to start, and it might easily be my last.

  * * * *

  Roman and Southpaw led us through the dark clubhouse, straight to his room. He never said a word, just shoved me inside, took one last look at his son, and closed the door.

  “Make sure they stay put. I've gotta go out and get the shit I need to set this place up,” I heard him mutter through the door. The older man chuckled.

  “Talk to Brass' old lady. I'm sure she knows a thing or two about kids, seeing how her little sis babysits for some coin.”

  “Whatever. Just get her whatever she needs, brother. I'm gone.”

  “Hey!” Southpaw yelled back, so loud through the walls I covered Caleb's ears. “What do I tell the Prez if he finds out?”

  “Tell him the fucking truth!” Roman yelled, his voice further away. “We're keeping them safe. The farm's crawling with head chopping assholes. That's no place for a kid. We're doing the boy a favor, getting him outta the danger zone. That's all the Prez needs to know for now.”

  My kid. I could practically hear him thinking it. Jesus, had he even broken the news that he was a father to the brothers yet? I wonder if Southpaw even knew why he'd dragged us both in?

  Shaking my head, my son stirred. I lay back on the biker's thick bed and stroked him, mostly to calm myself.

  He'd been amazingly well behaved through this, but he'd need food soon. I had a couple containers stuffed in my suitcase, but as for his favorites, much less all the other things I needed to care for him here...

  Damn it. If only I hadn't been in such shock, I would've told Roman exactly what we needed to prolong my imprisonment.

  At some point, I managed to fall asleep. Putting in a full day's work on the farm, letting Beam give me a jolt of pleasure, and then getting taken prisoner by Roman completely sapped my energy.

  I woke up to the sound of a heavy box hitting the floor.

  My hands were empty. I bolted up, only to see Roman holding Caleb, while Asphalt picked up the crib he'd dropped on the floor. There was a woman with them too, a girl with brunette hair around my own age.

  “Jesus, be careful!” she hissed. “All the noise around here will upset the baby.”

  “I know how to handle my son, Missy,” Roman said, shooting her a dirty look.

  The woman rolled her eyes. “Oh, please. You know about as much as Brass, but I guess you haven't upset him yet. So, there's that.”

  I rubbed my eyes and stood up. Everybody turned toward me, as if I was a total afterthought.

  “What the hell's going on here? Give me my baby!” I reached toward Roman angrily, expecting him to rip the child away from me.

  Surprisingly, he gave in and passed me Caleb, even if he shot me one more look from hell. “Missy's here to help set this shit up, and make sure you two are comfortable. She'll help you get used to the clubhouse, make sure you don't do anything fucking stupid too.”

  “Oh, good. Lord knows I've made enough mistakes. It's nice to have somebody to save me from myself. Is that all, daddy, or do you want to tell me how to cuddle my son too?”

  Roman's jaw tensed. I nuzzled my nose against Caleb's as the kid snoozed. Meanwhile, Missy laughed, walking toward me, getting between me and Mister Badass.

  “Come on, lady. I'll give you a hand.” She turned to Roman. “Why don't you go deal with your club business? Brass will be by soon.”

  Roman gave me one more look, then nodded to Asphalt. “Let's fucking go. I'll be back later to see what's going down.”

  The door slammed shut behind them, making my little son stir. I covered his ears and pulled him close, returning to the bed while Missy walked around the room, taking everything in.

  “Wow. This seems awfully familiar,” she mused. With her back to me, I saw the huge PROPERTY OF BRASS on her leather jacket. It was a lot like the cuts the guys wore, except with long sleeves, and somehow girlier. Maybe it was just the size.

  “Huh?” I murmured, wondering what she meant.

  She spun around, beaming. “Nothing. Sally, right? I'm Missy, the Veep's old lady, and I guess I volunteered to help you get settled in.”

  “He wants us cooped up in his room? How long?”

  “It's not so bad,” Missy said with a smile. The uneasy tremor in her voice told me she knew she was lying. “Well...I'll do everything I can to spruce this up. Hopefully it's not for long. The big guy said it's only temporary. I don't think he'd dream of keeping you caged in like this for too long.”

  “Doesn't sound like it,” I said with a sigh, fishing into my suitcase for Caleb's baby food.

  “He's a good man. Mostly.” Not very convincing. “Look, last time I checked, my old man ranks higher than yours. If Roman gives you too much crap, come to me. I'll get Brass or Blackjack on him right away.”

  “Old man,” I said, popping the lid on some carrot flavored stuff and sitting Caleb on my lap. “You're helping me, so let's get one thing straight – I'm not here willingly. Roman told me about the cartel, and all but forced us here when he found out about Caleb...”

  “Oh?” she said, ripping into the crib's box and pulling out an oversized instruction sheet. “Wait, what about him?”

  She looked up from the instructions, her eyes huge.

  Fuck. Apparently, nobody else knew the depth of our relationship. And just then, I really wished I was in the dark too.

  “Nothing,” I said sharply, the word that summarized everything about my life colliding with his.

  Nothing good came from our summer fling. Absolutely nothing except for the little boy in my arms, gingerly taking small bites of baby food off my spoon.

  Missy cleared her throat. “Uh, not my business anyway. Jeez, why do they make these things like hieroglyphics? Hang on, I'm going to get Asphalt in here to help.”

  She threw the crib
instructions down on Roman's dresser and walked out, leaving me alone with Caleb. I stared at my son, guiding another bite softly into his mouth.

  “One day, we'll laugh about this, little robin. I promise.”

  Caleb drooled a little food and laughed, breaking into a smile. Despite the shitty circumstances, I grinned back, and it wasn't even completely fake.

  When I focused on the baby's smile, I could almost forget about being a prisoner. It wasn't hard to forget him, if only for a few seconds, the bastard who had the key to my entire future. And for a second, I didn't have to worry about whether or not he'd force me to be his whore next.

  * * * *

  “Sally? Hey, open the fuck up.”

  It was late. Or was it early?

  I sat up, quickly checking Caleb on the way to the door. It felt like we'd slept through the whole night, ever since Asphalt finished setting up the baby's crib, grunting and swearing quietly to himself the whole time, while Missy and I watched.

  Roman hadn't returned, and the voice behind the door definitely wasn't him. I nervously crept toward the door, and did a double take when I saw who was on the other side.

  “Jesus. You shouldn't be here after what happened...”

  Beam stared at me, his eyes soft. “I don't care. Roman's not pushing me around. I'm a full patch member, baby, and I'm here to make sure you're all right. Let me in.”

  He pushed his way inside, and I didn't stop him. Not that he'd have let me. He stopped, folded his arms, and surveyed the room, fixing his eyes on Caleb, asleep in his cradle.

  “Damn, there's our little man.” A small smile curled Beam's lips, and I followed him several steps over to the cradle. “Is he really Roman's? I've heard the rumors...”

  “I don't know.” Shame flushed my cheeks.

  Unearthing the secret I'd tried to keep buried yesterday was bad enough. Now, it was just a matter of time before the entire club knew. Then what?

  “That overgrown motherfucker's not fit to be Enforcer, much less a dad. Shit, they outta put you somewhere more comfortable. This room's a goddamned dive.” He looked at the open closet, which probably looked worse than before with all the extra baby boxes spilling out.