Rock Bottom

by Canosa, Jamie

  Maybe Elijah had given me some luck after all because my life just got ten times easier. “No stunt, Mom. Would you just listen for a second, please? I’m trying to apologize.”

  “No amount of apology is going to get you out of—”

  “Not for today. For . . . earlier. You were right.” The words grated, but it was the only way I could think of to do things my way and maintain my sanity. I had to make them think I was still doing it theirs. “I got off track. But I’m back on it now. I know it’ll take a lot of work to get back to where I was, but that’s what I’ve been doing.”

  “You were studying? This whole time? At school?”

  “No. I’m gonna go study now. I talked Coach into letting me use the track. Just because I can’t compete for a few months doesn’t mean I can’t stay in shape. Get better. And when I come back . . . I’ll blow them all away. I’ll break that national record and every single person the scouts start looking at in my absence will disappear. They won’t be able to ignore me.”

  “The national record?” She was totally buying it. For an unpracticed skill, I was pretty damn good at this lying thing. “How often are you planning these workouts for?”

  “Tuesdays and Thursdays. And whenever I can squeeze in some free time in the weight room.”

  “And it won’t detract from your studies?”

  “Not at all. I’m going to do that right now.”

  She chewed her lower lip as she scrutinized me for any sign of deception, but I held my ground.

  “Alright, then. I’m glad to hear you’re back on track. We just want what’s best for you, sweetie.”

  What looks best for you, you mean. I was silently seething on the inside, but outside I maintained a perfect sugar sweet smile.

  “I know, Mom.”

  “Why don’t you take some dinner up with you? You need to eat. There are leftovers in the fridge.”

  “Thanks.”

  I scooped out some food, not even bothering to see what it was, and forewent heating it up in my mad dash to get to my room. I still couldn’t believe that had actually worked. And, yes, I felt bad about lying, I really did, but she was happy, and I was happy, and when he got home, Dad would be happy, too. Wasn’t that all that really mattered?

  ***

  You still have your phone? The message came in a little after nine, while I actually was trying to study.

  I do!

  Wow. Your parents really are clueless.

  Actually they’re not even mad. And I bought us some time after school on Tuesdays and Thursdays.

  How did you pull that off?

  I’d planned on waiting until I could tell him face-to-face, but I couldn’t. Peeking into the hall to assure myself Mom and Dad were both downstairs, I shut the door, turned the music on my computer up, and dialed Elijah.

  “Well, hello.”

  “Hi!” I practically shouted at him.

  His warm laugh made me smile so hard my face hurt. “So, my little miracle worker, what was this brilliant maneuver that got your parents to accept the new you, and even approve of our budding romance at least two days a week?”

  “Well, I wouldn’t go that far.”

  “The budding romance? Was that too far?”

  “No, you idiot.” I rolled my eyes. “The rest of it. I wouldn’t say they exactly ‘approve’ or ‘accept’ anything.”

  “Then what would you say?”

  “I’d say I lied.”

  “You lied?”

  “I lied . . . well?”

  “What, pray tell, did you lie about?”

  “Pretty much everything.”

  “Rylie . . ."

  “I told my mom I’m going to break the national record. I was out running laps all afternoon. Exactly where I’ll be every Tuesday and Thursday from now on. She ate it up because I convinced her even the Ivy Leagues wouldn’t be able to overlook that kind of accomplishment.”

  “Ry,” he groaned. “You don’t even know if you want to go to an Ivy League. And you don’t like running. What happened to making yourself happy?”

  “I am making myself happy. It’s bullshit, Elijah.”

  “Lying to your parents is going to make you happy?”

  “Happier than having them pissed and disappointed with me twenty-four-seven.”

  He sighed. It would have annoyed me if I couldn’t hear the worry behind it. “I’m not sure this is the best solution.”

  “Please, Elijah, just support me on this? Please?”

  I waited anxiously through his long pause, but when he spoke again I could hear the humor in his voice. “So . . . where are we really spending our Tuesdays and Thursdays?”

  I said goodnight to him, grinning like a fool. I may have even swooned—just a little—when he wished me his traditional ‘sweet dreams’. Even without those dimples in play, that boy could make my head and heart do funny things.

  ***

  After the final bell, I met up with Elijah, Meg and Liam in the gym.

  “Heard you were joining us again tonight.” Liam dropped an arm casually over my shoulders until Elijah’s glare practically withered him away.

  “Yay.” Meg was bouncing on her toes with excitement.

  “So you joining the party tonight, or what?” Declan finally arrived and together we moved outside and around the corner of the building.

  “Maybe.”

  “Oh, man. Your girl’s smoking now? What are you doin’ to her, Eli?”

  “Shut up, Liam.” Elijah budged between us when he started getting too close again, sending him scurrying after Meg. “You really planning to smoke tonight?”

  “Why not?”

  “No reason. You just usually only smoke with me.”

  We’d been to a few more parties at Rafe’s house, but I’d never felt comfortable enough to relax there. Which meant neither had Elijah. If I was committed to helping Elijah keep his friends and me close at the same time that was going to have to change.

  “I want to party with you guys.”

  We settled beside the others in the grass alongside the building as Liam pulled out his bowl.

  “Are you sure this is such a good idea? At school?” Anxiety kicked up a notched and I scanned the grounds for any sign we were about to get caught and kicked out on our butts.

  “There’s the old, predictable Rylie we all know.” The tone Declan used did not imply that ‘and love’ was left out accidentally.

  “Don’t be a dick, Declan.” Meg elbowed him in the gut and then passed him the bowl like some kind of peace offering.

  “Do you want to go?” Elijah spoke low enough for only me to hear.

  I was tempted to take him up on the offer, but I got the distinct impression that he’d seen a lot less of his friends since I’d come along, and I didn’t want to do that to him. We’d spent every Tuesday and Thursday afternoon hiding away together in his room where the supply of weed and kisses never ran out since I’d worked out our cover story nearly two months ago.

  “No, I’m fine.”

  “You sure?”

  “Yeah.” I leaned back on my arms and tilted my face into the sunlight.

  “Damn you’re beautiful.”

  I flushed and then suddenly remembered, “Hey, you never took my picture.”

  “No. I guess we got a little . . . sidetracked.”

  “We kinda did, didn’t we?”

  “Yeah, we did. Not that I’m complaining.”

  “Next time?”

  “Sure. But only if you pose nude.”

  “Elijah!”

  “Kidding.” He lifted his hands and ducked away from my attempts to swat him. “I’m kidding. Unless you want to, because I’m totally game for that.”

  “Just a regular portrait will be fine, thank you. Something I can actually hang on my wall or post on the computer.”

  “If you insist.”

  “I do.”

  “So you’re one of those virtual people, huh?”

  “Not really, but
I go on now and then.”

  “I see. And when you go on, what does your relationship status say? Are you ‘in a relationship with Elijah Prince’? Inquiring minds need to know.”

  I pretended to contemplate the question for a moment before answering. “More like ‘it’s complicated’.”

  The stunned look on his face was priceless. “Oh it is, is it?” In a flash, he had me pinned on the grass. “You want complicated? I’ll show you complicated.”

  His fingers assaulted my belly and ribs, causing me to squirm and shriek in tickle survival mode. I had no control whatsoever over my flailing limbs.

  “Keep it down, would ya?” Declan hissed at us from where they were still passing around the illegal contraband.

  “Oh, chill out. They’re cute.” I grinned as Meg jumped to our defense.

  Elijah withdrew his vicious attack, though, and helped me back into a sitting position. We whiled away the next few hours talking about nothing much and enjoying the feel of the sun on my skin until I needed to at least put in an appearance at home.

  “So, I’ll pick you up at eleven?” Elijah leaned against the door of my car, obviously no more excited about saying goodbye—even if only for a few hours—than I was. It was official: I was addicted to that boy.

  “Sounds good.”

  “Okay.” He pressed a quick kiss to my lips and pulled away before away before I could take it any further.

  With the promise of good times to come, I started the car and watched him watch me go in the rearview for as far as I could see.

  Chapter Nineteen

  “How was school?” Dad was sitting on the sofa when I walked through the front door. A rare sight.

  “Good.”

  “Didn’t you have a math test today?”

  “Yes.”

  “How did that go?”

  Not so great. “Fine.”

  “Fine?” He looked up from the ever present pile of work that surrounded him. “Fine isn’t going to cut it around here anymore, Rylie. We have obviously been going too easy on you lately. Nothing short of perfection will be accepted under this roof, young lady.”

  “I’m trying—”

  “Try harder.” My father dismissed my presence as easily as dropping his eyes back to his work. End of discussion.

  Frustration welled up right alongside that endless supply of discouragement that seemed to live inside of me, feeding off my disappointment and guilt as I made my way upstairs.

  Don’t think about it. Don’t think about it. Don’t think about it.

  I repeated the mantra to myself as I dumped my bag on my desk and dropped onto my bed. I wouldn’t think about what my father said, or how it made me feel. I wouldn’t think about all the things I wanted to say to him. I wouldn’t think because if I didn’t think, then I wouldn’t hurt. I just had to make it a few more hours and it would go away. I just wouldn’t think about it until then.

  ***

  The mantra worked. I gave myself a headache repeating it so many times, but eventually eleven o’clock rolled around and I was still in one piece. I caught the flash of headlights as soon as I was out the front door and rushed down the sidewalk to meet him.

  “Hey, Princess.”

  “Hey, yourself.” I slid in beside Elijah and nabbed myself a kiss before the road could demand his attention.

  “You ready?”

  “Beyond ready. Let’s go.”

  Elijah pulled out as I fiddled with the radio dial. Nothing came in clearly through the ancient speakers, but I did manage to find one station where we could almost figure out what song was playing. By the time we reached Rafe’s, I’d given up trying to make it any better.

  “Hey, Ry, don’t forget you don’t have to do anything you don’t want to in there. And we can leave any time. Go back to my place, or whatever. Just say the word.”

  “I do want to, Elijah. And why would I want to leave? I like your friends.” Most of them, anyway.

  “Just reminding you.”

  He got out before I could really figure out where all of this was coming from and I trailed after him across the street. Before letting ourselves in, Elijah clasped my hand in his. I knew it was some male territorial thing, but I was more than okay with that.

  “Rylie!” I was greeted by my own personal cheering section in the form of Meg. She shouted my name from across the room, but appeared to lack the energy to lift her head from where it was nestled on Liam’s shoulder.

  “Hey, Meg. Hi, Julie.” I waved to the girl sprawled in the armchair and got a huff in return.

  Springs groaned under our combined weight as Elijah and I settled on the tattered loveseat. Rafe’s furniture in general had seen better days. The coffee table, for example, with its numerous scuffs and scrapes and the occasional burn mark or two wasn’t something you’d find in a magazine—or goodwill, for that matter—but I liked it. It had a sort of . . . homey charm. It practically begged you to kick up your feet and get comfortable. Nothing at all like the dazzling white fabrics and polished wood surfaces of my parent’s house. There, dirt was the enemy and you had to be constantly on guard. Here, dirt felt as welcome as the rest of us and you could sit back and relax. Not worry.

  “Where’s Declan?” Elijah twisted to scan the hallway.

  “Not coming.” Liam shrugged and his arm ‘casually’ slipped over Meg’s shoulders. “Said he had shit to take care of tonight.”

  “Hmm.” Warmth trailed Elijah’s lips across my cheek to my ear. “I’ll be right back. I’m just gonna check in with Dec.”

  Leaning into me as he dug his cell from his pocket, he paused long enough to nibble my earlobe, leaving me all sorts of off-balance in his absence.

  “Rylie.” Rafe dropped onto the seat beside me as soon as Elijah excused himself, stretching his arm over the back of the cushions. The creep factor I associate with him had lessened over time, but I still wasn’t thrilled with the idea of him touching me. “I hear you’re smoking with us tonight.”

  “Sure.” I tried to sound pleasant, but it came out strained anyway.

  “Let me get you a hit then.” Snatching up the same purple swirled bowl they used the first time I’d come to one of these things, he lit a match and let it burn down to his fingers before blowing it out. “This ain’t a joint, sweetie. You gotta smoke it while it’s lit.”

  “Oh.” Wow, brilliant. “Sorry.”

  “Try again. Put it to your lips, cover that hole right there, and when I light it, inhale.”

  I followed his directions and got hit with a much more potent lungful than I was used to. Fighting back the coughing fit desperate to break free, I held onto it as long as I could.

  “Strong, huh? This is some new stuff I just got in. It’s good.”

  I choked out a cough or two and nodded.

  “Not bad. Eli’s been teaching you well.”

  “So why don’t I keep it up.” Squeezing in between Rafe and me, Elijah took the bowl from my hands and helped himself to a hit before passing it on.

  I felt myself relax in a way that I only could when Elijah was with me. “Everything alright with Declan?”

  “Yeah.” His arm snaked around my back and I snuggled closer to his side. “Everything’s fine.”

  The bowl went around the room a couple times, but it didn’t take long before the effect hit me. Harder than I was used to. I sank back into the soft cushions and contemplated the ceiling . . . roof? What’s the difference between a ceiling and a roof?

  “One’s inside and one’s outside.” Elijah sank back beside me.

  “Huh?”

  “A ceiling and a roof. A ceiling is inside, while a roof is outside.”

  “Huh. I didn’t mean to say that out loud.”

  “You do that a lot, actually.”

  “What?”

  “Say stuff out loud that you don’t mean to.”

  “Oh. That’s embarrassing.” Not that I really cared at the moment.

  “Nah, it’s cute. I like those glimpses
into that brain of yours.”

  “There’s some stimulating stuff going on in here.” I tapped my forehead. At least I meant to. Instead, I almost poked myself in the eye.

  “Clearly.” Elijah chuckled and I couldn’t help laughing, too.

  “Where is everybody?”

  “Sleeping.”

  “What time is it?”

  “Around two, I think.”

  “Two? How long have I been staring at the . . . ceiling?”

  “A while now.” Rafe’s deep laughter caused my head to drop faster than it should have given the dizzying swirls dancing before my eyes. “She’s cute when she’s like this.”

  “I know.” Elijah tensed beside me, but I couldn’t understand why.

  “I like it.” Rafe’s head appeared beside me, I swear out of nowhere. He was like the freaking Cheshire cat. “You should do it more often.”

  “Do what?”

  “Let loose. Enjoy life.” Rafe’s eyebrows danced in a way that I found more comical than it probably was.

  “She lets loose enough. Come on, Ry. I think it’s time to go.”

  “What does that mean?” I let Elijah pull me to my feet, but couldn’t quite support my own weight. “You think I let loose too much?”

  “I didn’t say that.”

  “But that’s what you think? You think I smoke too much.”

  “That’s rather hypocritical coming from the guy who’s over here buying weed almost every other week from me.”

  Elijah snarled at Rafe’s interruption. “I didn’t say that and I didn’t mean that. You’re being paranoid. Let’s go.”

  “It doesn’t sound like she’s being paranoid to me, Eli.”

  “Shut the fuck up, Rafe. Come on, Ry.”

  He manhandled me out the door and into the car and I was utterly powerless to stop him, literally hanging all over him—but his words still nagged at my brain like a relentless itch.

  “What did you mean, Eli?”

  He stopped and stared hard at me.

  “What?”

  “You called me Eli. You never call me that.”

  “So what? Answer the question, Elijah. Do you think I party too much? Because Rafe’s right, that would be hyp-hypo . . .”

  “Hypocritical?”