Secondhand Heart

by Kristen Strassel

  “Well, screw them for being stupid.” I shook my head. “I bet they’re sorry now.”

  “Yeah.” Cam stared into space, he got like this any time we talked about his success. I wondered if he still thought it was because of Ashley, now by default. Her bad press wound up being his windfall. He felt guilty because it was all at the expense of my sister. This is what Ev would have wanted for him. It killed us both she wasn’t here to see it, but we had to enjoy it even more because of that. Nothing was guaranteed.

  I missed her every day, but I felt like she was with me. Her and Jordan. A little piece of both of them lived on in JR, and it made me strangely happy I could keep them so close to me.

  I stood up, leaving JR on the floor to play with Cam. “What do you want to do tonight? I haven’t fed the monster yet. I was working up to that when you came in.”

  “I can tell.” Cam picked up a spoon and started drumming on a container. “Did you have anything planned?”

  “Nope. I was waiting on you.”

  “Want to go down to the beach for a little bit?” Cam asked tentatively, as if I’d ever say no to the beach. He was headed out on tour at the end of next week, and I knew he didn’t want to go. I chalked that up as the reason for his funny behavior.

  He didn’t want to leave us.

  He had an opening spot on a huge tour. This was everything he’d worked so hard for.

  But there was no way I was going to let him pass up this opportunity. Now that I got to experience an album from conception to release, and watch it grow and succeed, I understood why he had to do this. It was something he had to do because he would be miserable if he didn’t make music. “Since when would I say no to that?”

  “There’s always a first time.” That lopsided smile still made my heart flutter. He climbed up from the floor, picking up JR once he was on his feet. “I’ll grill when we get back.”

  Neither of us said much on the way down to the water. Once we got down there, we each took one of JR’s hands so he could stand in the water. He was just starting to pull himself up, but he wasn’t steady on his feet yet. I knew soon he’d be running all over the place. It happened so fast with Bree’s boys. Landon was starting kindergarten next week. I wished there was some way JR could stay this little forever.

  Cam rolled up his pants, the squatted down so he could splash in the surf with JR. JR squealed every time a wave came in, even the tiny gentle ones made him wobble. Usually Cam would help JR find cool stuff in the water, starfish and pretty rocks, but tonight, he was looking up at me, squinting in the sunset that painted the water with streaks of orange and pink.

  “What’s going on with you tonight?” I smiled, but I had an uneasy feeling in the pit of my stomach. “Is it the tour? We’re going to be fine. We’ll miss you, but it’s only a couple weeks. I talked to Bree today, and she’s going bring the boys for a sleep over the first night to make sure we don’t get lonely. She’s so excited she might come pack your bags for you.”

  “Real nice, Bree.” Cam laughed and shook his head. Then he looked down, his free hand tracing back forth in the water. “It’s not that.”

  I kneeled down beside JR so I could meet Cam’s eyes. “Then what is it?”

  “Maybe it is the tour a little bit.” He looked back up, squinting. “I don’t want to leave you, like ever.” Head back down, he let out a long breath. “I want to marry you, Daisy.”

  I blinked rapidly, not sure I actually heard him right. “Did you say what I think you just said?” Cam met my eyes, and he looked so scared. I’d heard him right. I pulled JR into my lap so I could take both Cam’s hands in mine. “I’d love that. More than anything.”

  “I understand if you’re not ready. I know it’s been a hard year for both of us, but even still, everything’s just so fuck…frigging good that I want it to be like this forever. If we can make it through what we’ve made it through, the rest of the world better watch out, that’s what I’m saying. So if you’re in…”

  I pushed at him, knocking him back into the water. “I just said yes, silly.”

  Cam didn’t get up right away, propping himself up on his elbows letting the water hit him as it came to shore. “Wow.” His expression had totally changed, from fear to satisfaction. Then he sat up and kissed me so quickly he caught both me and JR totally off guard. I fell over to the side, totally soaked but managed to keep JR almost dry.

  “I left the ring upstairs.” Cam looked sheepish, just inches from my face. JR had climbed into his lap, and he bounced his thigh up and down to entertain him. “I can’t make it official yet.”

  “I don’t need a ring.” I splashed him. “Wait. Tell me about this ring.”

  “I think you’ll like it. Bree helped me pick it out.”

  “Bree kept a secret like this?” Holy shit. “How did you manage that?”

  “Well, she gave me some suggestions in the ring case to tell you about. She’s hoping that Josh asks you to help him pick out a ring for her soon.” Cam wriggled his eyebrows up and down.

  “Ooh. Do you think it’s going to happen? I mean, Bree’s so into him, but I don’t know.” If I could get Bree married off to a guy like Josh, I could literally die happy. It was about time some treated her like the amazing person she was.

  “To hear her tell it, they might have already eloped.” Cam chuckled. “But when I went over there, he looked awfully comfortable, on the floor, playing with the boys. I wouldn’t be surprised.”

  “I still don’t understand how you got her to keep her mouth shut.”

  Cam smirked. “I told her that I’d show you the ugliest rings in the store if she said a word to you.”

  I nodded. “Nice.”

  Cam ran his fingers through the water like he was looking for something. “You still need a ring.” He pulled a piece of seaweed out of the water, ripping a strip off of it. “Hold your hand out.”

  “No!” I squealed. “I can wait a few minutes.”

  “Nope. I can’t have you reconsidering. I need to get something on your finger to seal the deal.” He took my hand, and tied the seaweed around my ring finger. “There.”

  I looked down at my hand, admiring the slimy greenish-brown bow he’d created. “I actually kind of love it.”

  “Really?” Cam smiled, standing up, JR already on his hip, and then holding his hand out to help me up. “Because I can return the diamond.”

  “Don’t do anything crazy.” I laughed as we stood up, shaking off some of the sand that had stuck to us in the surf. “But something about it is just perfect.”

  “Isn’t it though?” Cam wrapped his free hand around me, pulling me against my body. “I feel like it’s insurance for a million more nights just like this.”

  As Cam put JR up on his shoulders, I wrapped my arm around his waist, and we headed back to the condo, sandy, wet, and happy. For the first of hopefully a million more nights just like this.

  Thank You

  Thank you for reading Secondhand Heart. If you enjoyed Daisy and Cam’s story, please consider taking a minute to leave a review. If you would like to keep up with my latest releases and sales promotions, please sign up for my newsletter.

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  I can’t leave you empty handed, so if you like your rockers with bite, keep reading for an excerpt from the first book of The Night Songs Collection, Because the Night.

  Preview of

  Everywhere I looked along the Las Vegas Strip, Tristan’s eyes smoldered back at me. On billboards, taxi toppers, and the T-shirts of devoted fans on their way to the Sin City Vampire Club to see him play in Immortal Dilemma. All those women hoped to get a little closer to him, to fulfill their fantasies.

  Seeing Tristan like this, larger than life, made it too easy to forget he’d walked out of my life to become the rock star. Tonight, I set out find out why.

  As soon as I walked into the Alta Vista hotel with my cousin, Keisha, I knew
this was so much more than it seemed on TV. The sleek silver and purple lobby buzzed with anticipation. Groups of girls decked out in black baby doll dresses and combat boots clogged the walkways, giggling and screaming. I knew how they felt. Just being here made everything inside me jump and tingle.

  Venomtini bars and Immortal Dilemma slot machines dotted the walkway leading to The Sin City Vampire Club. Keisha and I held hands not to get separated in the crowd.

  “You must be so excited, Callie!”

  “I’m nervous.” Excited, nauseated--you name it, I felt it.

  “Why?”

  “I just don’t want to be disappointed.”

  So many more people had already staked out their place in the ticket line at the box office. Were we even going to get in? The crowd inside the theater roared, and I was dying to know what I was missing.

  “Two tickets, please.”

  “Sorry, this window is for online orders only. Tonight’s show is sold out. All the shows sell out weeks in advance.” Seriously? And to make it worse, this woman gave approximately zero fucks that she pretty much just ruined my vacation.

  “No thanks.” Now what?

  “Told you.” Keisha never had high hopes for this plan. She put her arm around me as I deflated. “We’ll figure this out.” Everyone else in the room seemed to be having the time of their life.

  “Ladies!” a man called out. I turned toward him, raising an eyebrow.

  “Do you need tickets?” he asked hopefully. He was a skinny black guy with a baseball cap and an oversized plaid jacket. He looked as out of place as we did here.

  I brightened. “We do.”

  “Eighty each.”

  “Can’t you do better than that? The show’s about to start.” Even in this time of crisis, Keisha could never resist negotiating.

  He checked the time on his cell phone. “Alright. Sixty each. They’re usually a hundred, but you ladies are cute and the show is going to start soon. I’ve got to get rid of these things.”

  “We’ll take them.” I pulled three twenties from my wallet, and Keisha did the same.

  He pocketed the money and handed over the tickets. “Here you go. Where you ladies from?”

  “Here.”

  Keisha’s eyes widened but she didn’t correct me.

  “Don’t you know what kind of show this is?” He raised an eyebrow at me. I didn’t look like the rest of the girls here in my eyelet tank top and tie dyed skirt. “You know you have to be twenty-one to get in, right?” This was the first time I had a chance to try out the license someone had left behind at my mother’s restaurant. If someone looked at it quickly, they might think it was me.

  “Thanks. We’ve got it all under control.” I assured him—and myself—as we walked away.

  “Nice work!” Keisha high fived me.

  My hands trembled as I examined the ticket in my hand. I walked straight into some lady and muttered an apology. I couldn’t believe I was here.

  The usher glanced at my ID, ripped my ticket, and stepped aside.

  We were in.

  A group of girls next to us jumped up and down and squealed. I was doing the same thing on the inside.

  The Sin City Vampire Club looked like a modernized Victorian theater. A giant chandelier twinkled above a grand staircase. Fans perched on red velvet Victorian couches and chairs, ornate silver metalwork hung on the dark wood walls, alternating with large gruesome paintings of sacrificial rituals or something like that. Built in curios housed skulls and jars full of gross things suspended in goo. Tinny, haunting music from an antique Victrola piped in over the PA system. We headed upstairs to our seats. An off white and faded red striped curtain hid the stage.

  I’d never expected to see so many velvet and lace jackets and gauzy tutu skirts in one place. Some wore fangs, others had their faces painted like skeletons, and still others had fake blood dripping from their mouths.

  Keisha started talking to the girls next to us, a dark-haired girl with too much black makeup with her perfectly put together red-headed friend. “Have been to the show before?”

  “We come all the time,” the redhead gushed. “First time here?”

  Keisha nodded, her head on a swivel. This was so not her thing. She’d rather be out dancing. “It is.”

  “The TV show does it no justice. It’s like pure sex.” The redhead licked her lips.

  Some fans considered their attraction to the band to be a paranormal connection they referred to as Bloodlust, but I never believed it. They liked the music, the guys were hot. They could hide behind all the supernatural garbage they wanted to try to justify their obsession, but they couldn’t feel what I felt. After all, Tristan was the first guy I ever kissed.

  A ballerina came on to the stage with no fanfare. The curtain didn’t rise and the lights didn’t dim.

  She moved so delicately, she could have been dancing on a cloud. Her severe bun had been powdered, and her ribs showed through the plain white leotard. As she spun around, trapeze artists flipped above her. Two other performers peddled on tricycles with giant front wheels. The music became more and more frenzied and the spotlights pulsed and strobed on each performer.

  So entranced by the ballerina, I didn’t notice the man step from the shadows until the music stopped. The other performers had disappeared. With one arm clamped around the ballerina’s waist, he pulled her head back to the side, exposing her neck. She held still, graceful, even under siege. Then, almost too quickly for me to see, he pressed his mouth to her neck until her body went limp.

  The house lights fell and the crowd went wild. Everyone around me rose to their feet, screaming and crying, jumping up and down. Emotion pulsed and throbbed through the room like the lights overhead.

  The beat of the drums ripped through room like fireworks. Heat exploded through the theater, burning my skin even back in these crappy seats. The rest of the band rose up through the floor on giant pedestals, and the whole place shook with the crowd’s screaming.

  Tristan commanded the left side of the stage. His long, dark hair flowed free, and he’d painted his face in some sort of elaborate skeleton design that was almost pretty. Under the guitar he wore a red fuzzy coat, open, no shirt underneath, and black shiny pants that must have been poured around the shape of his body. Standing on the pedestal, he played his guitar with his head tipped back, his eyes closed, swaying to the beat. Eerie, peaceful, yet somehow still beautiful, drenched in red light.

  The pedestals lowered and Tristan sprang onto the stage. Roaming like a predator and whipping his hair around, he teased the fans by leaning over them with his guitar but staying just out of reach. He smiled wide, showing those horrible, horrible fangs. I hated that part of his costume.

  I forced myself to tear my eyes away from Tristan. The singer strutted around the stage, his spiky hair sticking out above old fashioned goggles. He danced with the burlesque dancers on the riser, singing to them and running his fingers down their bare, bloody arms. They shimmied in front of huge screens playing old horror movies. The bassist painted himself silver, and he moved like a robot.

  All the songs all sounded the same to me. As much as I tried to like them, Immortal Dilemma just wasn’t my thing. Too heavy. Tristan was my thing. When the singer stopped and hoisted his microphone stand over the audience, the crowd screamed out every word.

  A single, red spotlight framed Tristan as he began his guitar solo. He shed his jacket and an audible gasp escaped from the audience. A sleeve of brightly colored tattoos decorated his left arm. That was new. I wanted to trace my finger along each line, to understand its story.

  I needed more. So much more.

  He plucked and pushed the guitar strings, almost making it cry. A hush fell over the crowd when his solo came to its finish. He walked up to the microphone and paused.

  “I’ve waited so long to see you again.”

  I swear that’s what he said, even with the echo again…again...again… rolled through the theater like a wave. The crow
d swooned. I couldn’t breathe. My imagination had to be playing tricks on me. There was no way he could know I was here. Impossible.

  Keisha grabbed my arm so hard she bruised it. She heard it, too.

  It had to be a coincidence.

  The rest of the band came back out for the encore. I stood there in my Tristan-induced daze until the band took its final bow.

  “What did you think?” the dark haired girl asked, jarring me from my trance.

  “It was amazing.” My voice sounded as far away as the rest of me was.

  “You girls should totally come hang out with us.” Her friend grabbed my hand, way too familiar. “We’re headed to an after party. There will be all sorts of hot vampire guys there.”

  “You really think they’re vampires?” Keisha barely got the words out without laughing.

  “We know they are.”

  “Okay.” Keisha turned to me and rolled her eyes.

  “I think that sounds great.” I needed to move fast to make my plan work. Whether or not the hot guys were really vampires, these girls might know how I could find Tristan.

  “Are you sure, Callie? You don’t want to stick around here?” Keisha didn’t seem convinced.

  “Why would we want to hang around with a bunch of tourists?” I extended my hand to our new friends. “I’m Callie, and this is my cousin Keisha.”

  “I’m Amanda.” The redhead squeezed my hand again. “And this is Janelle.”

  “When you say hot vampire guys,” I ignored Keisha elbowing me in the ribs. “Do you mean Immortal Dilemma will be there?”

  I mean, how many vampires could there possible be?

  “Yeah, Callie’s hoping to spend some quality time with Tristan,” Keisha added, now it was my turn to elbow her.

  Both Janelle and Amanda laughed. “Aren’t we all?”

  Summer has finally arrived, along with a boy who will forever change the life of fourteen-year-old Callie. After growing up hearing stories about Tristan Trevosier and his famous family, Callie finally meets him when he spends the summer on Martha's Vineyard. Seventeen-year-old Tristan is a hurricane of destruction and rebellion, and he quickly blows a hole right into Callie's sheltered life. Callie sees a side of Tristan that he doesn't show anyone else. She's determined to make everyone see what she sees in him.