Born to Fight

by Brown, Tara

  I can't look at Will. I want him to have that stupid smug look on his face, but I'm scared it's going to be something else. Something I can't deal with.

  "How did you know that I knew about the baby?" the doctor asks.

  "Vincent Fitzgerald told me." I lift my face and accidentally catch the disturbed look on Will's face. It's a frozen angry look, but then sadness, or something like that, crawls across, like the weather changing in the sky. His eyes meet mine, "You were pregnant?"

  My mouth drops. I lick my lips and close them. I nod and look down again. I'm ashamed. I don’t know why, but I know the feeling is shame.

  He crosses the tent, shoving the doctor out of the way, "Who? How?" He grips my arms.

  I push him off of me, "The farms," I whisper.

  He doesn't move. He looks forward. His blue eyes are cold and mean. He stands and leaves.

  He's disgusted.

  My lip trembles. I want to believe, that because he was at the farms, he has no right to judge me. But it doesn’t feel like that. I feel disgusting.

  The doctor takes my hand, "It's okay. How did the miscarriage happen, then?"

  I feel the story sitting on the tip of my tongue and I don't know if I should say it or not. Will he kick me out of town, if I tell him what I am?

  I blink, holding my breath and then just say, "I'm not normal, I don’t think."

  His eyes grow in size as I retell the story Vincent gave me, and the events that occurred, as far as I was aware of them. I wasn’t aware of what he knew and didn’t.

  His hands creep to his lips. He sits on the wooden makeshift stool and holds himself.

  "I knew you were pregnant, and about the breeder babies, and the way things were, because of you rescuing the women, they told me all about it. I never knew the mutations were being implemented before the breakouts. I knew the mutant children were bad, but this... This is horrid. Adult Gen babies." He is gray. I'm a mutation. I think that's bad.

  I nod, "It was the man who fathered me. He did it to my mom. He's one of the scientists. I think."

  He nods, "That’s the most horrible thing I've ever heard. I never would have told Marshall you were pregnant if I had known what he would do with the information. I just wasn’t sure about you going back out there fighting, if you were with child." His thoughts are interrupted by a scream. It's blood curdling.

  I jump up but he holds me down, "I think you should stay here." I want to fight him but I can't. I lie back on the cot and feel the water I've drank swish around in my belly.

  The screams get much worse. I cringe, "It's the infected. They've made it into the camp. Or the others. They followed me." We've been followed. I never even thought about it all, I was so sick. I expected I was safe with Will. He has a bad way of making me feel like that.

  Now they're here. They’ve made their way in, and everyone is going to run or die, and I am to blame. Marshall was right, I should have been kept away from other people.

  The doctor stands and runs from the tent.

  He is white as the sheet I'm lying on, when he comes back in after a few minutes.

  "It's not the infected." He washes my arm and puts a needle in, "You're going to need to rest."

  I blank out then with things still to tell him, like I might be infected, I might be immune, and that I'm not mad he told Marshall.

  I wake on a soft bed and snuggle into the sheets. It's almost as good as being home. I reach around the bed for Leo. I don’t find his fur. Opening my eyes, I see I'm in a small tent, not the medical one. Anna is sitting in a chair beside my bed, eating a leg of meat.

  She smiles with crap all through her teeth, "Hey!"

  I wince, "Hey." My voice is a croak. I lift the sheets and see nothing but a pair of cotton underwear and a baggy t-shirt. No blood, thank God.

  "How are you feeling?" She takes another huge bite, making my tummy rumble.

  "Hungry." I watch her eat. She reaches down next to her and lifts a plate. She passes it to me. I take a leg of meat and bite down. It has sauce; nothing ever has sauce anymore. I moan; it almost tastes like Granny's chicken legs.

  She nods, "Good, huh?"

  I chew and sit up. I smelled the food and forgot about the fact my throat is completely dry. She sees the face I make and passes me a jug. I push the chicken to the side of my mouth and chug the fluid. I shudder from the sweetness.

  I pull it back, making a face, "Is that juice?"

  She smiles and nods, "Awesome, huh? Trina—over with all those ladies that stand in the circle and scare the men—she makes it. I love it. Loaded with vitamins. Made from some berries she grows. You need it, trust me. You almost died."

  I scowl, "What?" I sip the juice again. Being prepared for the sweetness of juice and not water, like we've all had for a long time, makes me enjoy it.

  She bites the chicken and talks with her mouth full, like Meg does, "Yeah, they almost didn’t get you back. You lost a ton of blood. Doc has kept you asleep for a week. He figured you ‘hem-something’ and that it was bad."

  I look past her, "Hemorrhaged." I read about it. It's bad in a time where you can't get blood from other people. I know my blood type, but not everyone will. Not that I probably have normal blood. I have mutant blood. I need to find out what mutant means.

  I look at her and wonder how much she's told her brothers. They'll be done with me for sure.

  She wipes the sauce from her face and takes the juice from my hand, "Leo is with Jake; you know how those two are. He still hates Will though."

  I laugh.

  She smiles and drinks again, "You okay?"

  I swallow the lump of chicken in my mouth and nod, "I will be. I need to stop my real dad, whatever he is to me. When I stop him, I'll be okay."

  She smirks, "You better be careful, you'll become that flashy crow everyone keeps saying you are."

  I look down and shake my head, "It's not that."

  She kicks my foot, "I know. I was kidding. Good to see all that time in isolation never mellowed you out."

  I wrinkle my nose, "I don’t think I mellow out."

  She grins, "Jake mellows you out."

  A smile crosses my lips. I bite my bottom one to try to stop the spread.

  "Man, your pasty face even got a bit of color there for a second," she laughs but seems uneasy still.

  I look at her, "Are you okay?"

  She shakes her head, "No, but I will be. Some of that shit scared me, bad. Being lost in the city was too much to take. But we got Will, me, Jake, you and Leo. We just need Sarah and Megs and I'll be okay. I need some downtime maybe."

  We think the same. I like that.

  Her eyes dart around. I kick her this time. It takes more effort than I'm prepared for. "What?" I ask and drag my leg back into the bed.

  She sighs and picks her teeth with her tongue, "Will put Marshall in something the doc called a coma."

  I close my eyes instantly and absorb it, "He what?"

  "He beat him to near death. The only reason he's alive at all, is Jake. Jake ripped Will off and stopped him from killing him," she sounds annoyed.

  I open my eyes, climb off the bed, and stalk from the tent in my baggy t-shirt and underwear.

  "Emma, you're awake." I see a lady I barely recall. I walk past her, scanning the grounds for the tall lug.

  The wrong one comes bounding over, "Em, what's wrong? You should be in bed."

  I walk past him, "Where is he?"

  He chuckles, "You gotta calm down. The doc says you're pretty sick." He grabs my arm.

  I tug it away, "Jake, where is he?"

  He sighs, but doesn’t have to say anything.

  "You should be in bed," a voice says from behind me.

  I spin and almost lose my balance. I would sit but I'm too damned angry.

  His eyes steel when he looks at me, "Bed."

  I cross my arms, "You can't tell me what to do. I'm fine. What the hell did you do to Marshall?"

  He crosses his thick arms back at me, "I di
d what I had to."

  I don’t know what to say to that. "I needed answers from him."

  He shrugs, "He needed to pay for he did to you."

  I scowl, "He betrayed me ‘cause he thought…stuff. I needed to know how he knew…stuff." I can feel heat creeping up my face.

  He shakes his head, "You need to get back to bed." He takes a step but Leo is there instantly. He stands in between us.

  I grab his fur and use him to keep myself steady, "You can't tell me what to do. You don’t need to defend my honor. I coulda taken Marshall. I wanted answers."

  He takes another step but Leo growls. Will stops, giving me a look.

  I grin hard, "What are you going to do? Leo will eat you before you get another step in."

  He snarls at me, just as Leo snarls at him. I point, "This is an impasse." I read about it in one of Granny's books. There was a princess with a dragon and she fought with two swords. She was badass.

  He shakes his head, "We aren’t done talking, but you need bed. Go."

  I feel like I'm about to lose the chicken and the juice so I turn to Jake, "Help me back to bed?" I say quietly. The crowd has gathered.

  He beams and winks at Will. Leo growls and fakes at Will who jumps back a bit.

  Jake laughs, "C'mon Leo."

  Leo watches Will for a second longer and then walks to us. He rubs against Jake, making me laugh.

  Jake helps me back, but doesn’t let me off the hook, "You acted like an idiot. You need to stay in bed."

  I feel my brow pinch together. I don’t like it when he's mad at me. Leo and him give me the same look and usually it involves some degree of doubt or sarcasm.

  Anna is still in the chair, chewing and drinking.

  I lie back down and curl into the blanket, "We need to go check on Meg and Sarah."

  "Maybe in a week or so," Jake says and crosses his arms. The twinkle in his eyes is still there. I sigh in relief. It's the thing I wanted the most in the world, to see that twinkle. I swear it's food for my heart. He makes me believe that things could be okay again, maybe. It's saved me, when I was sure I had no heart. I never had a reason to hope before, not even before we ruined the whole world.

  Leo whines and nudges me with his cold nose, "You okay, boy?" I ask, watching his eyes. They still seem like they're full of fire and life. He pants, making me smile as I run my fingers through his fur. The thickness seems lessened than before we got taken. I can't imagine how it was for him.

  "Did you check him for any wounds?"

  Anna swallows chicken and nods, "Yeah. We had doc look at him. He got feisty about it, but Jake did the whole stand up really tall and crossed his arms like Will. Then Doc just looked him over, said he seemed fine."

  I shake my head at her, "You're eating like Meg. What's the matter with you?"

  She laughs, "I was starved for weeks."

  I roll my eyes and look at Jake, "How did you guys lose her?"

  His cheeks blush and I realize, it was him. He runs a hand through his hair and smiles, "It was a misunderstanding. I thought Will was going back to see if she was okay, but I guess it was supposed to be me."

  I shake my head and hold my hand out for the juice. She passes it to me, "Did they check me for infection? Did they check you?" I ask Anna and keep my eyes off Jake.

  She nods slowly, "You've asked this too many times. You really are immune. Stop asking me about the friggin’ infection. I'm fine. No infection in this body."

  I swallow and shake my head, "Yeah…well…you don't know when it could happen to any of us."

  She picks her teeth, making me frown, "Stop it."

  She kicks at me, "Shush. I've been living amongst the undead and pretending to be a nurse and killing shit. I'm allowed to have a few moments of acting like a savage."

  Jake shoves her, "Yeah, moments. Keep telling yourself that."

  She snarls at him.

  "Where is the golden Jake dog?" I ask looking around.

  Jake looks confused and Anna's almost choking, she's laughing so hard. She hits her own chest a couple times and moans, "He found that circle of old ladies and befriended them. He's ditched us."

  I roll my eyes, "Sounds about right."

  I look at the huge beast next to me and grin, "You stayed, right boy? No ditching us for old ladies like the Jake dog."

  Jake frowns, "What Jake dog? What does that even mean?"

  Anna snickers, "It's so true. He was clumsy and happy like you. Dang dog."

  Leo is making the purring sound as I run my fingers through his fur. It's making me sleepy doing it. I move over on the single cot. He assesses the situation and climbs up gingerly, not trusting a bed off the ground. He tries to spin and get comfortable, but instead ends up giving me a sideways look. We all laugh. He lies at my feet, covering them and the entire lower half of the bed, but keeps his butt to me.

  The smile almost hurts my sore, exhausted face.

  Jake is laughing still, "Guess you know how he feels about you lately."

  I shake my head, "I don't blame him. I would have been so angry if he got me shot and caged."

  Anna smiles, "I think he's mad cause he wants the hunt. He's been coming with me but he seems weird. You know what he's like with you; he doesn’t do the same things with me and Jake."

  "Jakey, we need to have some help over here to lift a few barrels," Will lifts back the tent flap. I cringe when I hear the name Jakey. I hate that damned name.

  He doesn’t make eye contact with me, but Leo lifting his head might have something to do with it.

  Jake leaves with him, "Be back in a bit."

  I look at Anna, "What is the deal with the Jakey?"

  She rolls her eyes, "It was what our mom called him. Every morning it was 'wakey wakey, Jakey the snakey' and Will used to get so excited when it was his turn to say it. Jake was always a sleeper. Even when he was a baby, he was lazy as hell." She shrugs, "Will always just called him that. He was pretty little when Jake was born. They were old and trouble by the time I was born. I was princess Anna."

  A snort escapes from me, before I can stop laughing at her.

  She glares, "I used to like nice stuff. I was so little and all those Disney princesses and shows were my favorite."

  I nod, "I see." I don’t. I can't see her like that.

  She passes Leo the bone of the leg, that she has eaten to nearly clean, and takes the jug of juice from me. Leo nibbles at the meat carefully. I reach for the bone but he growls.

  "LEO!" I snap. He cowers. I stroke his head and turn his face. He sees my angry eyes and lowers his head in shame. I look at Anna, "Cooked bones are bad for him. He could get hurt."

  She shakes her head, "I have never heard him growl at you."

  I stroke him and slip the bone from his ashamed face. I pass it back to her, "Leave with it quickly." I say calmly, "Bring him a raw one." She gets up slowly and leaves the tent. I stroke him softly, "What did they do to you, baby?"

  He turns and faces me. His soft Leo face is back, but he still seems funny, ‘off’ maybe. She's back and tosses it on the ground of the tent. He gives me a look. I nod once. He humbly picks it up and crawls under my bed. I can feel him under me, like the Princess and the Pea, but with a wolf.

  "He seems weird." She sits and tucks her feet up.

  "He might be worried about me, he might be upset about Marshall being here, or he might be slightly traumatized from the captivity. Could be anything," I mutter and try to ignore the lump under my back.

  "Want me to stay again?" she asks.

  I nod.

  She gets comfy in the chair and closes her eyes.

  I close mine and feel safe with her there. "I need a new bow," I say when my body starts to relax.

  "I got your old one. I found it in the basement when the building never blew."

  I open one eye. She smiles at me, "I knew I would be seeing you again, so I saved it."

  I smile back, "Thanks."

  She shrugs, "You're my sister, Em. Even if you never
pick which brother you like better, although I will say, it seems to me Leo has chosen for you."

  I snicker, "Yeah, he sure likes Jake."

  She grins, "Not as much as he likes me."

  "Nope. Besides me, Leo loves you the most," I close my eye again and drift away into a clean sleep. No bad dreams, dirt, or infection—just Leo, the woods and Anna.

  Chapter Seven

  The walk down the hill makes my stomach grumble with nerves. I can't help but think nonstop about the goodbye I gave Marshall. I snuck into his tent before we were leaving and watched him sleep. I wanted to shove a pillow over his face, but I didn’t. Doc was watching me and it felt wrong to do it, without him being able to fight. I leaned down low to his face and returned the whispers that he had given me so long ago.

  "I should have killed you when I had the chance." I looked back at Doc and smiled, "You keep him safe for me."

  He smiled nervously and I left the tent.

  Jake nudges me out of my daydream of smothering Marshall, "You excited to get to the retreat?" Seeing the farmhouse scares me. I don’t know why.

  I ignore it and nod anyway, "I need to figure out how I'm going to stop my…uhm… them." He isn’t my dad. Lenny was my dad. Lenny has been with me every minute of this life; he has kept me alive. His wisdom has made me who I am. The terrible things they did to the baby I was, has been kept at bay by Lenny and Granny and Gramps. I was loved. Lenny might have been a weird dad, but he loved me. The man who fathered me doesn’t know me, never has.

  I take quiet steps, clutching my bow. My quiver is on my back. I miss the guns I had, Mary's guns. I feel bad for losing them.

  We get to the place where the others were and I smile when I see me, Will and Anna are all looking at Leo. He looks normal, but he's sniffing the air. He recognizes home. Jake is scratching his head and looking at a bird in the tree next to him.

  I shake my head, "Let me go ahead with him." I walk up to where Leo's standing. Will grabs my arm, "You're still weak."

  I shake my head, "I'm not." I am a little, but it's not enough to tell Will about. Honestly, even the doctor was amazed at how quickly I healed.

  I pull from his hand and creep to Leo. My animal eyes return with my nerves and instinct. I see a hare in the far right and some leaves rustling behind it. Something is hunting it. I pull an arrow and relax into the pull. My breath whispers along the bow as I watch the bushes. The hare hops away while whatever it is stalking it stays still, it smells us.