by Ellen Devlin
“Shut up,” whispered Tom.
“I didn’t say a word,” Joe replied in a whisper, still smiling. He let Tom get two more steps down the hall before he whispered after him, “By the way, Tommy, your pants are inside out.”
Tom flipped him the bird as he disappeared into his bedroom, but he was smiling as he lay down on his bed and was asleep in moments.
Chapter Thirty-Four
Colleen was sitting at the kitchen table when Liz joined her. It had become increasingly obvious she was not happy with Liz’s presence, and Liz wanted to figure out if there was anything she could do to ease the tension between them. Everyone else except Tom and his mom had gone out for various last-minute errands, so this seemed like the perfect opportunity.
“Hey. So, it feels like we’ve gotten off on the wrong foot, and I’m not sure why. Do you have any questions for me? I think Tom has probably shared some of my history, and I can certainly understand that being a cause for concern.” She paused for a moment and chucked, “Objectively speaking, on paper, I guess I can seem sketchy as hell. If you want to ask me about anything, I would be happy to talk to you about it.”
Colleen looked at her skeptically.
“If you ask something I don’t want to share, I’ll let you know. But I’m pretty open, and there aren’t many topics that are off limits.”
Colleen sat up straight and met her eye. “Are you going to hurt him?”
Liz blinked. “Yes. Certainly.”
Colleen looked shocked.
“And he’s going to hurt me,” Liz continued. “And hopefully we will find ways to forgive each other, until the next time it happens. Because we’re human, and we screw things up. Those parts suck. But the parts in between are pretty amazing.”
Still meeting her eye without any hesitation, Colleen asked, “Do you love him?”
“So much that it scares me sometimes.”
“Does it scare you enough to run?”
Liz sighed. “It scares me to think that he will.”
Colleen’s look hardened. “He won’t.”
Liz tried to keep any look of doubt from her face, but must have failed, because Colleen sat forward with her elbows on the table, and her voice was angry. “He will let himself fuck up his entire career. So if you’re not serious about this…”
Several things happened at once. Liz reached out and put her left hand on Colleen’s arm and saw movement in the hallway to her right. Tom had apparently walked up just in time to hear that last bit of conversation and was ready to walk in to stop his sister from attacking his girlfriend.
Liz caught his eye and motioned subtly for him to stay, not to interfere, that she was okay and would handle this. Colleen couldn’t see him from where she was sitting.
Turning back to Colleen, she said, “I’m serious.” She paused, and she and Colleen looked at each other. Liz said, “Can I ask you something?”
“Yeah.”
“How old were you when Tom and Michelle started dating?” Colleen was so startled by the question she sat completely back in her chair. “You must have been young.”
“I was ten. Why?”
“So you were, what, fourteen when everything fell apart?”
“Yes. Why are you asking?”
“Because this,” she gestured, indicated the interaction that had been taking place between the two of them, “feels really personal, even though we just met.” Liz paused for a moment, thinking, and then asked, “Was she your friend? Did you like her?” Her questions were kind, and curious, not accusatory, and Colleen answered almost without thinking about it.
“Yes. She treated me as if I were important even when they started dating, not just like I was a little kid. I was going to be in the wedding.” Colleen smiled sadly. “I was helping to pick out colors and dresses.”
Liz sat quietly and waited for her to continue. Out of the corner of her eye she saw that at some point Tom’s mom had joined him in the hallway.
When she continued, Colleen’s voice was a bit rough. “She didn’t say goodbye, you know. She just disappeared. She treated him like shit and then vanished.” Her eyes looked a little haunted by the memories of it.
“And you were just fourteen.” Liz paused, her look gentle. “You weren’t even old enough to truly understand what had happened between them. It must have been so confusing.” She leaned forward. “Colleen, did you talk to anyone about this when it happened? Besides your friends?” Colleen shook her head, and Liz pressed. “Not Tom? Not your parents?”
Choking out a strangled laugh, she replied, “God, no. Everyone was worried he was going to lose his career. Or do something even worse. He was so hurt and so angry. It was awful.”
“It was probably scary as hell too. I can’t even imagine. But you were hurting too.”
Colleen shrugged.
“They love you. Tom loves you like crazy. You must know that.”
This time Colleen smirked. “I’m ten years younger than he is. We’re not very close.”
“Really? Because I’ve heard more about you than any of your siblings. He talks about you all the time.” At the skeptical look from Colleen, Liz continued, “Brilliant, full ride to UConn, internship in New York City,” ticking off the points on her fingers. “He’s so proud of you.” And she added with a grin, “And he and Joe were seriously considering coming up to beat the crap out of the last guy you were dating, because apparently he was really not good enough for you.”
This earned a laugh from Colleen. “Okay, that last part definitely sounds like him.”
“Will you talk to them?”
“My parents? Or Tommy?”
“Both.”
This earned a sigh from Colleen, but she agreed.
“Promise me. I won’t say anything to them, but promise me that you will.”
Another sigh. “I promise.”
Liz sat back and smiled. “Good.” She paused for a few seconds, weighing her options, and then said, “So I’m about to do something that might really piss you off. I’m going to save you some time. You’ve already told them.”
She looked over at Tom and his mom just long enough to see that both of their faces were a mess of confused emotions. Kathleen was crying; Tom had his head back against the wall and deep furrows in his brow.
Liz made sure they were moving into the kitchen as she walked out the other way and looked back just long enough to see them both wrap Colleen up in a hug that threatened to squash her. Colleen was crying now too.
***
Tom knocked softly on the bedroom door before letting himself in. Liz was sitting on the bed, reading a book. She had retreated there, wanting to give the family time to talk and sort things out if they needed to. He sat down on the bed next to her.
“I’m sorry, Tom. It’s a huge downside to my ‘no regrets’ policy. I accuse Paige of meddling, but I’m so much worse in so many ways.”
“How did you know?”
“That I’m worse than Paige?”
“No.” He shook his head, frustrated that she wasn’t following his train of thought. “About Colleen. How did you know?”
“Oh. I didn’t. Not really. I just knew there was something more than her just being worried about you. She was too angry at me for it to be only that.” She smiled. “I hadn’t been here long enough to piss her off that much yet.”
Tom stared at her and shook his head.
“She’s a lot like you, though.”
“Really? How so?”
“She can’t hide anger, either. It’s written on her face, and it looks just like your anger does.” She smiled at him, and he pulled her in close to him. “Are we okay, Tom? I just poked into your family in ways I really had no right to. Should I be making new plane reservations?”
He laughed. “Holy shit, Liz. No.” He held her so he could look her in the eye. “No. We’re good. You and I, and you and my family. I promise. Col wants to talk to you. I came up here to get you.”
“You promise I’
m not going to get locked out of the house? It’s cold outside.”
“God, you can be an idiot.” He grabbed her hand and dragged her out of the room. “Come on.”
He brought her back to the kitchen, where Colleen and Kathleen were sitting together at the table, talking. Colleen got up and came over and gave Liz a huge hug.
Liz said, “I’m sorry. I poke where I have no right to.”
Colleen said, “Don’t be an idiot. Thank you.”
Liz laughed and looked at Tom, with a “see-she’s-just-like-you” expression. Kathleen hugged her too, and they managed to turn the conversation to mundane things and funny stories about Tom, or rather, Tommy, as a kid. Before too long the rest of the family returned, and the house was noisy and busy again.
Tom pulled Liz away to stand near the Christmas tree and looked down at her, tucking her hair behind her ear and stroking her jaw with his thumb.
“I don’t understand you.” He smiled. “Not even a little. But I love you a whole lot.”
He kissed her then, in the soft glow of the tree lights, pulling her close to him, his arm snug around her waist, his other hand now tangled in her hair. He felt one of her hands gently stroking the back of his neck and playing with his hair as they pressed closer together. Their tongues were meeting softly, gently moving together, when a deep-voiced throat was cleared nearby.
Tom released her and looked up to find his father trying not to look directly at them.
“Your mother could use some help.” He started to walk away and then added, “I was going to wait until you finished kissing her, Tommy, but I was starting to doubt I was going to live that long.”
Tom chuckled, and then, to Liz’s surprise he called after his father, “Anything worth doing is worth doing right.” They heard big Tom’s laughter in return, and Tom gave Liz a lopsided grin that made her heart flip before heading off to help his mom.
Chapter Thirty-Five
“Why the hell do you even know that?”
Tom yelled in laughing frustration as Colleen and Liz high-fived, and the group of family members playing a trivia game laughed. Liz had just won another round because she had correctly answered that a group of jellyfish was called a “smack.”
“I warned you, Tom. My competitive side is small, but highly focused. And I know stuff. About things. Lots of stuff about lots of things.”
“Don’t mess with her at ‘Words With Friends,’ either,” said Joe’s wife, Anita. “She’s currently trouncing me, and I’m usually the one beating all of you guys at that game.”
“Small, but highly focused.”
“I can’t take this anymore. I’m out.” Tom got up and grabbed his jacket to walk out on the front porch for some fresh air. Joe was outside drinking a glass of whisky and smoking a cigar. “You have another glass out here?”
“It just so happens I do.” He poured a glass for Tom and then offered him a cigar. “Did you want one of these as well, or would that be sullying your temple?” he asked with a smile, gesturing up and down at Tom.
“Shut the fuck up.” Tom took the cigar, and they stood together quietly, smoking and sipping, watching their family through the front window. The girls inside were laughing and talking, the game obviously forgotten by this point. “Oh, geez, I know which story she’s telling just by the body language,” said Tom, watching Colleen exaggeratedly flail about and the others laugh.
Particularly Liz, who had never heard the story before. She was lying on the floor holding her stomach she was laughing so hard. It was about Tom, of course, when he was a young teenager. “Col was like two years old when that happened. She can’t possibly remember it. Why does she always tell that story?”
“Because she tells it the best. I mean look at that.” He gestured through the window for the finish. “It’s fantastic. She captures that moment perfectly. Better than a video camera.”
“Man, you are such an asshole,” Tom said, grinning. “Sometimes I forget that, you know? And then I come visit, and it all comes back to me…”
The two of them stood quietly for a few more minutes, enjoying the scene. Things were quieting down, and folks were wandering off. Liz and Anita had gotten up off the floor and were sitting on the couch talking. Nothing serious, by the look of it. Anita had pulled out her phone, so she was probably showing pictures of the house they had recently purchased.
Joe finally broke the silence when the cigars were about half gone and they were on the second glass of whisky. “You going to ask Mom for Grandma Ellie’s ring?” They were still watching inside the house, not looking at each other.
“I was going to originally.” This comment earned him a mildly surprised look from Joe, although Tom continued to watch Liz and Anita inside the house.
“What happened?”
“Mom stopped me in the hallway and handed it to me.” He turned to Joe finally and saw Joe with one eyebrow raised and a smile on his face. “She said, ‘Your dad and I thought you might need this.’”
Joe stubbed out his cigar, chuckling to himself. “Shit.” He tossed back the remainder of the whiskey in his glass, slapped his big brother on the back, and said, “You’re doomed, Tommy. Welcome to the club.”
***
The entire family attended midnight mass at the McCullins’ church. Liz had brought a deep navy business suit to wear and a dark red silk blouse, plus heels. She was rewarded by Tom’s surprised, and very amorous, look when she came out of her room.
“Wow.”
“Just because I don’t do it often doesn’t mean I don’t know how,” she teased. “I can change a tire too. I just don’t want to do that every day, either.” She winked at him.
“You look beautiful. Truly.” He kissed her and then was interrupted when his father yelled down the hall.
“Don’t start, Tommy. We don’t have that kind of time before we need to leave.”
Tom laughed softly, took Liz’s hand, and they joined the rest of the family to head to the church.
The service was beautiful, with candlelight and carols, and the warmth of family. It was almost overwhelming to Liz—Tom’s family had included her, made her feel like she belonged with them, and she was standing next to the man she loved, who loved her. It felt magical, almost fragile.
This was something she had never felt before, had never experienced before. Not with her family, not with Jimmy’s, not with Chris and Paige.
Tom happened to look down at her and saw the awe, bordering on fear, in her face, and touched her cheek to turn her to him. His eyes questioned hers, asking silently if she was all right. She smiled to reassure him, her eyes bright with tears, and leaned against his shoulder, feeling the strength of his presence and the warmth of his body.
They rode back to the house together with his parents, content to listen to Christmas music on the radio and hold hands in the backseat of the car. It was peaceful, and there was a quiet contentment neither one wanted to break by talking too much.
Tom and Liz sat together on the couch in the glow of the tree lights as the others got started off for bed, not quite ready to call it a night yet. She was nestled against him with his arm around her, sitting together in the way that had felt right and familiar from the very first night they had sat together on her couch.
“I want to give you your present now rather than tomorrow morning.”
Liz looked up at him. “I thought we said the trip was our gift to each other? Changing the rules, sweetheart?” She was smiling, though, as if she had known it would happen.
“Yeah, well.” He looked more closely at her face. “Ah, you can’t fool me, Williams. You did it too.”
His crooked smile twisted her heart. Every time. “Maybe. But you’ll have to wait until tomorrow to find out.” She blinked with feigned innocence. “You might be a very disappointed young man.”
“Oh, somehow I doubt that,” he said, moving toward her to kiss her. “You have yet to disappoint me.” He stopped himself. “But if I start this, you won’t
get your present tonight, because there’s no way I’m going to remember what I was trying to do.”
She looked at him with her best bedroom eyes.
“Minx.”
She started at his knee and began to walk her fingers up his thigh, smiling at him playfully.
He grasped her hand in his, and said, “Everyone is still awake. I can’t get away with visiting you tonight. And just thinking about that is making me consider taking you out to the backseat of the rental car.” He looked seriously into her eyes for a minute and then shook his head. “It’s like five degrees out and that still sounds like a great idea right now, just because you’re looking at me like that.”
She smiled and her eyes twinkled.
“Shit, now I’m thinking about the last time we were in the backseat of my car.” He grabbed her by the shoulders and pushed her so she was sitting next to him but not touching him. “You. Stay there.” His mock severity was adorable.
“Yes, sir. Six inches of separation.” Her eyes were still sparkling. “Although I seem to recall someone telling me that wouldn’t be enough for some reason…” Tom just shook his head at her.
He reached into his pocket and pulled out a smallish cardboard-type jewelry box and handed it to her with a shy smile. “Merry Christmas, Liz.”
“Oh my goodness! No way,” she said when she opened the box. “Tom, this is beautiful! I’ve never seen one like this. Where did you find it?” The necklace inside was a sterling silver chain with a sterling silver pendant in the shape of the Guardians logo, which was an homage to the armed forces—a stylized eagle head profile with outspread wings. The bale of the pendant was attached at a wingtip, so the pendant hung down at an angle. It was very beautiful and quite unique. It was clearly the Guards’ logo if you knew what you were looking at, but otherwise it was an interestingly shaped silver pendant. She had never seen anything like it before.
“I had it made. So you like it?”