Sisters of the Last Straw: #1 The Case of the Haunted Chapel

by Karen Kelly Boyce

  “I mean, we must outsmart them. We should sneak around the garden quietly and surround them. When we have them surrounded, we will all move forward at the same time. Those goats will have nowhere to go and we will be able to grab them all and get them home to the pen.”

  Sister Shiny picked up her long skirt and tiptoed to the north of the rose garden, as Sister Lovely followed. Mother Mercy went over to the south of the garden, while Sister Lacey covered the west.

  Poor Sister Krumbles had to sneak all the way to the opposite east side. They were lucky. The little goats were so busy munching on the uprooted rose plants that they didn’t notice the nuns.

  Then Mother Mercy gave the signal, “Go!”

  The entire group of Sisters ran toward the goats.

  When the goats heard them, they started to run. First, they ran to the north, but with the sight of Sister Shiny and Sister Lovely coming, the goats turned around and ran to the west. But Sister Lacey was right there to catch them.

  She grabbed Crayons around the neck and the tiny nun found herself riding belly-down on the back of the multi-colored goat! With her feet dragging behind Crayons in the mud, she started yelling, “Oh!…Once we get them, how are we supposed to stop them?”

  She fell to the ground and Crayons escaped again.

  As the rest of the goats ran past, Sister Lovely grabbed a beautiful black-and-white goat with blue eyes. Sister Lovely was much taller than Sister Lacey, and she managed to stop the goat, but landed in the mire while the fidgeting goat struggled to get away. “Sister Krumbles! What’s this goat’s name?”

  “Oh! That one is Buttons! Isn’t she cute?” smiled Sister Krumbles as she huffed and puffed, all red from running.

  “Buttons? Why is she called Buttons?” asked Sister Lovely as she tried to hold the goat’s horns.

  “Why, that’s exactly what I asked Mr. Murphy,” smiled Sister Krumbles, “He said that Buttons was a twin. She had a twin brother, and the woman at the farm where they were born just named them Buttons and Bows.”

  Buttons did not like being held, and she kicked mud in Sister Lovely’s face.

  “Well, isn’t that just grand!” yelled Mother Mercy, her eyes flashing with anger.

  She waved her arms and her veil shook as she spoke. “Why don’t we all sit in the muck and have a long conversation about the goats and their names?”

  Just as she finished yelling, a grey-and-white goat ran out of the bushes behind Mother Mercy. Seeing the nun in her way, the old goat lowered her head and butted Mother Mercy’s behind. The power of that push landed the chubby nun facedown into the sludge.

  Chapter 3

  Sheer Genius

  “Oooo…oh!” yelled Mother Mercy in the muddy puddle, trying to lift up her head. Ashes, the goat, continued running until she was out of sight.

  Sister Lovely, who was still sitting in the mud and holding Buttons around the neck, couldn’t stop herself—she started to laugh. Before long, all of the sisters were giggling as they watched Mother pull herself out of the mud. Her face dripped with brown ooze as she wiped her eyes to see what was happening.

  But when she could see again, she saw Midnight standing right next to Sister Krumbles!

  Sister Krumbles was laughing so hard that she didn’t notice the goat beside her. Midnight looked at Sister Krumbles and opened her mouth to nibble the nun’s crooked veil.

  “Grab that goat!” Mother Mercy shouted, and Sister Krumbles tackled Midnight as though she were a football player. She pinned the black goat down in the mud. The goat couldn’t get away, but Sister Krumbles couldn’t go anywhere either.

  “Now what can we do?” asked Sister Lovely, “None of the goats have collars and we have no leashes or ropes to tie around their necks. How in the world are we supposed to lead them back to their pen?”

  All the grimy nuns were silent, unable to think of a way to lead the two captured goats home to their pen.

  “What’s the sense of holding onto them?” asked Sister Lacey, “You might as well let them run away again, until we get some rope to tie around their necks.”

  “Oh no,” said Mother Mercy, “We are not letting these goats go! You and I will help the Sisters hold onto these goats, while Sister Shiny runs to our shed and finds some rope!”

  Sister Shiny was horrified, her face whitened in fear. “The shed! It’s so dirty and full of spiderwebs.” The thought of cobwebs touching her face and crisp, clean habit sent her into a panic.

  “Do you have a better idea?” asked Mother Mercy, getting impatient again.

  Sister Shiny stood on the only piece of dry land within the yard and racked her brain for a better solution. Suddenly the inspiration hit her.

  “Why not use our stockings to make collars and leashes to lead the two goats back? Then you can get ropes to catch the other three goats!” Sister Shiny was happy. She had solved the problem, and now the other Sisters would have to be the ones to go into the filthy shed.

  Sitting in the mud, Mother Mercy stared at the unsoiled Sister Shiny. But she did not get angry.

  Instead, Mother Mercy was pleased. “Why, that’s a brilliant idea!”

  “Yes it is!” agreed Sister Krumbles as she quickly pulled off her shoes and stockings. She used one stocking to make a collar for Midnight, and tied her other stocking around the collar to make a leash. Sister Lovely did the same, and the two nuns stood up, barefoot, as the sludge oozed between their toes. Together, the Sisters started walking the two captured goats back home.

  That’s when they discovered something remarkable about goats. As the nuns walked Midnight and Buttons back to the pen, Crayons and the other brown goat called Daisy began to follow them.

  Back into the Sisters’ yard went all four goats, and back into their pen without any trouble. They actually seemed relieved to be home. Quickly the nuns worked together to repair the broken wall of the pen with extra boards.

  “I don’t understand it. Why did the other two goats just follow?” asked Sister Lovely.

  “Oh, goats are herd animals,” answered Sister Krumbles. “A herd is like a family, and a family likes to stay together.”

  Mother Mercy laughed, “Oh! You mean they are a family, just like us?”

  All the Sisters laughed as Sister Shiny commented, “Well, this is a fine time to find that out. We could have just caught one!”

  “Speaking of one,” Mother Mercy looked at the pen, “I thought you said that Mr. Murphy gave us five goats. There are still only four.”

  Sister Krumbles looked at the pen and shook her head, “You’re right! Our little grey and white goat Ashes is still missing. Maybe we should go looking for her?”

  The Sisters were dirty, hot, and very tired. All the exhausted nuns looked to Mother Mercy for an answer.

  “Well, I think now that we have learned enough about goats to know that Ashes will be showing up really soon,” laughed Mother Mercy.

  She straightened her veil. “Let’s go wash up and have a rest. I’m sure we’ll see Ashes by the pen in the near future.”

  The Sisters were glad to wash up and have a good lunch of tuna fish sandwiches and hot tea. After lunch, Sister Krumbles went out to check, but Ashes was still not there. The Sisters spent the afternoon making rosary beads to sell in the little gift shop at the front of the house. Sister Krumbles went out to the goat pen each hour to check if Ashes had come to see her family. But there was still no sign of the little grey and white goat.

  “I’m starting to get worried. Where could Ashes be?” she asked as she entered the kitchen again without finding the goat.

  Mother looked puzzled, “I really thought that Ashes would have come back by now. If that goat doesn’t show up soon, we’ll have to go out and look for her.” The doorbell rang, and Sister Shiny went out to the hall to answer it.

  The Sisters were placing the pretty rosary beads in nice velvet boxes and putting them in the glass display case in the shop. Everything seemed calm until they heard the shouting.

&nbs
p; “You will pay for all the damage!” shouted a strong male voice.

  All the nuns rushed into the hallway to see what was going on, and to defend Sister Shiny if she were in trouble.

  “What’s going on here?” Mother Mercy asked as she led everyone into the hallway towards the front door.

  Mr. Lemon, the next-door neighbor, was standing on the doorstep holding a rope. At the end of the rope was a little grey and white goat.

  “Oh, wonderful!” shouted Sister Krumbles, “Thank you for finding our little Ashes!”

  Mr. Lemon did not look amused. “I found her in my garden, or should I say in what was left of my garden! This goat has destroyed my roses, my bushes, and hundreds of dollars’ worth of landscaping.”

  He shook his fist. “I knew it had to belong to you. I knew that letting a bunch of nuns into the neighborhood would ruin it!”

  “Oh no, it wasn’t just Ashes!” answered honest Sister Krumbles. “All of our little goats destroyed your garden!”

  Mother Mercy wished she had gagged her.

  Mr. Lemon’s face was purple with anger. “You Sisters need to get out of this neighborhood! No one wants you here, and you are nothing but trouble!”

  Mother Mercy stepped forward. “I’m sorry you feel that way. We thank you for finding and returning our goat, and we will, of course, pay for any damages. However, we have no intention of leaving this home.”

  Sister Krumbles took the rope and started to lead Ashes back to the pen as the tall, thin Mr. Lemon glared at Mother Mercy.

  Mother Mercy stood her ground and glared back.

  Mr. Lemon shouted as he backed away, “You’ll see. You nuns are going to pay. I’m going to the Bishop!”

  Closing the door, Sister Shiny let out a deep sad sigh. All of the nuns were feeling sad. That man could cause a lot of trouble for the new order. Each nun slipped off to be alone.

  Sister Lacey headed to the kitchen to be alone as she chopped vegetables for dinner. Sister Shiny went upstairs to the cleaning closet to work out her worries by dusting. Sister Krumbles took Ashes back to her pen and stayed outside to watch the little goats play, which made her feel better. Mother Mercy headed for her office. She wanted to lose her troubles in doing paperwork. But Sister Lovely headed toward the basement door.

  Chapter 4

  Up In Smoke

  Sister Lovely was quiet as she tiptoed down the old basement stairs. It was dark and damp down there, but she didn’t flick the switch to turn on the light. She didn’t want anyone to notice that she was down in the basement.

  The basement was full of numerous boxes and dusty trunks with mysterious contents. The ceiling was high and had exposed wooden rafters. Hanging cobwebs that looked like fingers seemed to be reaching down to grab her. A scratching noise alerted the nun to the presence of other unknown things making their home in the neglected dampness.

  Sister Lovely maneuvered carefully in the dark. She didn’t want the hanging webs to touch her. Her eyes widened as she watched a large black spider scurry up its web. She walked bravely to the back of the cellar, where a large old furnace sat as if it was the king of the domain. It was silent and unused right now because it was late spring and quite warm outside. But even without its rumbles and groans, it seemed frightening and ominous.

  She pulled out the metal folding chair hidden behind a box and opened it, then set it behind the furnace. That way, anyone who came down the basement stairs wouldn’t see her sitting there.

  Sister Lovely reached up to the top of the furnace and took down the metal box. It contained packs of cigarettes and matches which she had hidden there.

  The pretty nun sighed even as she opened the box. Oh, how I wish I could quit smoking! I am like a slave to tobacco!

  Over the years, Sister Lovely had tried to stop smoking. She had struggled after being asked to leave her last community of nuns because of her addiction. At the last convent her constant cravings for a cigarette had caused her to sneak around and neglect her duties.

  Sister Lovely knew better. It was a sin to neglect her duties to do something that harmed the body. A healthy body was a gift from Almighty God, and too much tobacco destroyed that gift. But her cravings were relentless. I just can’t seem to stop myself, she thought. When, despite all her promises to quit, she had continued to smoke, she was asked to leave the last convent she had tried to join.

  Sitting in the chair, she tried to relax. It had been such a hard day. Not only had the nuns spent the morning chasing the goats, but Mr. Lemon’s threat to go to the Bishop with his complaints really worried the nun. What if the Bishop thought the nuns were too much trouble?

  Sister Lovely was worried. And that’s the problem, she thought, I always smoke when I’m worried. The pretty nun laughed out loud. I smoke when I’m happy, or sad, or celebrating, or angry. I just love to smoke cigarettes and I don’t know how to stop!

  This order was her last chance. She loved God and wanted to dedicate her life to serving Him. It had always been her dream to spend her life living the Gospel. Even as a child, she had dreams of serving the poor, caring for the unwanted, and teaching the lonely that Jesus loved them.

  She had joined two other communities of sisters and she had been asked to leave both of them because of her addiction. Sister Lovely had sworn that she wouldn’t bring cigarettes to this convent, but during her first week, she had sneaked out to buy the packs of cigarettes and matches to hide in the basement.

  Taking another puff, she sighed, If only I could control this craving. I should turn to the Lord when I am nervous instead of turning to these cigarettes.

  “Quiet! I told you to be quiet! We don’t want to be caught,” a deep voice whispered.

  Sister Lovely jumped up in fear. It was definitely a man’s voice, but where was it coming from? And what was a man doing in the basement?

  The nun peeked around the furnace, but she couldn’t see anyone. She listened closely, but only heard silence.

  Oh, I must be imagining things. It is so nerve-racking to be hiding down here!

  Sister Lovely laughed at herself, and sat down to finish her smoke. She wanted to get out of the dark basement. Its creepiness was starting to make her scared. Imagine that, she thought, first I can’t stop smoking. Now I’m hearing voices! Taking a deep breath, Sister Lovely relaxed and resolved to try to quit smoking again.

  She was halfway through her next cigarette when she heard a voice again.

  “Daddy, I want to go home. I don’t like it here,” a childish voice said.

  The nun didn’t question herself this time. She had heard a voice, and it seemed to be coming from the ceiling!

  She stood on the chair, and strained to hear the voices that were coming from above.

  Again, she heard a deep scary-sounding voice answer, “We have to stay here. There is no other place for us. We no longer live as other people do. We have to accept what has happened to us, and stay here.”

  Sister Lovely realized that the voices seemed to be coming from the chapel! Perhaps there were people up there?

  Even as she thought it, she knew it was ridiculous. No one could get into the chapel. She had locked the door herself after morning prayers.

  Sister Lovely reached up to the ceiling to steady herself as she listened to the eerie voices. She shook with fear, but wanted to hear what they were saying.

  She tried to touch the ceiling, but even though she was the tallest nun in the convent, it was too high. The nun stood on her toes, but could only hear mumbling and shuffling noises.

  Looking around, she saw some sturdy boxes. She jumped down, stacked two of them on the chair, and climbed back up. Now, she could almost touch the ceiling, but it was still just a little too far.

  Climbing down, she found another large box. After wiping off the dust, she placed it on top of the other boxes and slowly climbed up the unsteady pile. Her stomach fluttered with fear as she held out both arms for balance, but finally she could put her ear up against the ceiling, her heart be
ating.

  She was not disappointed. Within a minute she heard more voices, but they were still spooky.

  “Keep quiet now. We don’t want them to know we are here,” a raspy whisper pronounced.

  The deep voice answered, “They can’t see us. They don’t know we are here. Anyway, if they try to get rid of us, I’ll teach them a thing or two”

  Sister Lovely finally realized what she was dealing with and jumped in fright. They must be ghosts! she thought. Ghosts in our chapel!

  With the astonishment of her discovery, she forgot where she was standing. The delicate stack of boxes shifted and started to sway.

  With the cigarette clenched in her teeth, she tried to grab the furnace pipe with both hands. Her hands just missed, and the boxes gave way and began to fall!

  “Whoa…a…a…a!” she cried. Sister Lovely tumbled down from the chair and landed on her backside. The boxes smashed to the ground and their contents shattered around her. The metal chair hit the furnace with a tremendous crash.

  The cement floor was so hard that it stunned her. Unable to move, she sat on the floor amidst the pile of boxes.

  Sister Lovely heard the footsteps of her fellow nuns as they ran across the convent floor. She heard them open the basement door and saw the light go on above her. She heard their footsteps on the wooden stairs. Still, she couldn’t move.

  She sat on the floor, with a bright red face, amdist the broken boxes and crooked metal chair. A broken cigarette hung from her mouth. And that is exactly how the other nuns found her.

  Chapter 5

  Strange Visitors

  Sister Lovely stood with her head bowed. She was afraid to look up. She knew Mother Mercy was angry.

  I just know she’s going to ask me to leave the convent, thought the nun. She felt a tear escape her eye. Mother Mercy had told her and Sister Lacey to meet in her office. It’s better that Sister Lacey is here, thought Sister Lovely. I’m afraid to be by myself.

  Mother Mercy shuffled through some papers on her desk. She ignored the two nuns who stood before her. She didn’t scream. The quiet was scary. Mother Mercy looked up and finally spoke, “Sister Lovely, are you still smoking?