Coming Home (Vista Falls #4)

by Cheryl Douglas

  “It is good,” he said slowly. “I know it’s not ideal, us being so far apart. But what we have… it is good. It feels good when I think about you.” He chuckled. “Of course, it feels even better when I’m with you, holding you, kissing you…” His voice sounded even gruffer when he whispered, “Making love to you.”

  She shuddered when she thought of how incredible he could make her feel. He was different from any other man she’d ever been with. More confident and self-assured. Sexier. More comfortable in his own skin and his ability to please a woman. Of course she knew confidence like that was fostered, but that didn’t bother her as long as she was the benefactor. “I want to be with you. Now. I want you in my bed, on top of me, kissing my neck, my…”

  “Stop.” He released a shaky breath. “You’re killin’ me here, girl.”

  She’d never had phone sex, but it suddenly didn’t seem like such a bad idea. “Why do you want me to stop?” Her voice was breathy as she inched down the sofa, resting her bare legs on the cushions.

  “Because I can’t be there to see this through, and in my experience, hearing it is never the same as seeing it with my own eyes.”

  In my experience. Those few words felt like a bucket of cold water. Of course he’d done this before. He’d done it all before. “Right.” She felt stupid for even starting something they couldn’t finish.

  “Hey, you’re not mad, are you?”

  “No! Why would I be mad?” She grabbed the neatly folded chenille throw and tossed it over her legs.

  “Maybe because your boyfriend is thousands of miles away and can’t give you what you need?” He sounded frustrated. “I’m sorry about that, by the way. You’ll never know how sorry.”

  “Hey, I knew that when we hooked up.”

  “Yeah, but that’s all it was that first night—a hook-up. It didn’t matter that I was from out of town ‘cause you were supposed to go back to your life and I was gonna go back to mine. We never thought we’d fall in love.”

  It pained her to hear a hint of regret in his voice. “Are you sorry we did?”

  “I’m just sorry that your life is so complicated now, thanks to me. Things were easy before I came along. You had a decent relationship with your family, good friends, and a job you loved. Now all of that is up for grabs, thanks to me.”

  She’d told him about some of the grief she’d taken because of their relationship, but now she wished she hadn’t. “I’m willing to pay any price, you know. To be with you.”

  “But that’s just it—I don’t want you to have to do that. I want to make your life better, not worse.”

  She knew he was thinking about what was best for her, but she had to stop his train of thought before it went too far. “You want to know what my life was like before I met you? It was lonely as hell.” She closed her eyes, letting a tear slip down her cheek because she knew he couldn’t see it. “There was the occasional man. Meaningless sex from time to time. But when I came home to an empty house every night, the silence was deafening. My friends are all getting married, having babies. And I want that too, but I’d almost given up. Then I met you.”

  Juliette knew she was crazy to utter the M-word to a man who lived for the next party and would probably run the other way at the mere mention of a lifelong commitment, but she needed him to know he gave her hope.

  “What’re you saying, Jules? You wanna have my baby?”

  She heard the amusement in his voice, but a strong tug in her stomach told her it wasn’t a joke. Not to her. “What if I did?”

  “Now you’re really killin’ me.”

  “Why?” She’d never had this conversation with a man before, but her gut told her with Zeke, it was inevitable. It was way too soon, of course, to talk or even think about anything that would bind them forever. Yet she was glad they were doing just that. She needed to hear him say that she wasn’t alone in her daydreams about their future.

  “Because I just had a flash of what it would be like. You. Me. A baby.” The pause stretched on before he whispered, “Nights curled up on the sofa together, admiring how beautiful she is ‘cause she looks just like her mama.”

  More tears slipped down her cheeks. This time because he was painting a picture that she wanted to be her reality.

  “Sleepless nights.” He chuckled. “Kissing soft little cheeks. Making her giggle and smiling because that sound’s the sweetest I’ve ever heard.”

  Zeke was this big tough guy with scarred knuckles, tattoos, and the kind of past he’d never want to share with innocent kids, yet when he talked about babies, he sounded so sweet, so gentle, Juliette could almost forget all he’d been through.

  “You’d be a great dad,” she said, knowing instinctively it was true. “Probably overprotective, especially with a daughter. But you’d always be there for her.”

  “I’d never leave her,” he vowed, sounding fierce. “Or you. I’d never leave you either. If we had a baby together, that would be it for me. My life. My future.”

  Chill bumps rose over her skin. “We shouldn’t even be talking about this. It’s crazy to think about it. It’s too soon.”

  “I’ve never been one to follow convention. I don’t care if we’ve been together a month or a year. If I’m feeling something, I’m gonna tell you.”

  “So if I came to you and told you I was pregnant, that wouldn’t scare the hell out of you?” She knew most men in Zeke’s position would have felt trapped.

  “Why would it? You’re the woman I love, Jules, not some random hook-up. I’ll admit if any other woman came to me with news like that, I’d lose my shit. But this is you we’re talkin’ about. You’re the girl who can take care of herself. Hell, you’re the girl who takes care of a whole goddamn town and makes it look easy. And that right there is what makes me want to take care of you.”

  No one had ever wanted to take care of her. Even her parents had encouraged her to be strong and independent as soon as possible.

  “I want to be the shoulder you lean on at the end of a bad day. The guy who makes you forget all your problems with a nice glass of wine and a long, slow night of lovemaking in our bed. I want to be the one who rubs your shoulders, makes you dinner, and whispers that he loves you when you’re on the verge of falling asleep.”

  She couldn’t believe what she was hearing. “God… where have you been all my life?”

  “Trying to make myself worthy of a woman like you, I guess. I meant every word I just said, you know. It wasn’t some line. I want to be there with you, sharing your life, sharing your day. Watching you do what you do and loving you because you’re so damn competent.”

  “I want you here too.” She missed him so much it was like a dull ache she carried around with her all day. “But I don’t know if I can ask you to build a life here with me. I love Vista Falls, and most of the people here are like family to me. But I hate how close-minded they can be sometimes. I hate that they would make you feel like a monster just because you made one stupid mistake when you were too young to—”

  “So you don’t see redemption in my future, huh?”

  She wanted to tell him that he could win over everyone the way he’d won her over. But she knew there were some people, like her father, who would never give him a chance.

  “I guess it’s true,” he said when she failed to answer his question. “Silence speaks volumes.”

  “Do you honestly care what these people think of you?” If he did, he wouldn’t have come back to Vista Falls at all.

  “No, but I do care that they’re making your life miserable just ‘cause you fell for me.” He sighed. “Have you thought about what this could do to your life? You may not get reelected. Then what would you do?”

  She’d certainly considered that possibility. “I’ll figure that out when and if the time comes.”

  She stared at the pile of work spread over her coffee table, spilling onto her laptop. Without question, not being the mayor would leave a huge void in her life, but as long as she had Zek
e, she knew they’d figure it out together.

  “It’s not as if I’m not capable of doing anything else,” she said, forcing a laugh.

  “And just so you know, money wouldn’t be an issue. Ever. You could take as much time as you needed to sort it all out. And if you decided that having a family and staying home to raise them was what you wanted, I’d be all for that.”

  “Zeke…” She shook her head, thinking how crazy it was they were honestly considering forever. And the fact that it felt so right made it even crazier. “People are usually dating for years before they start talking like this.”

  “Maybe some do,” he agreed. “But others get married after weeks or months of knowing each other and it lasts forever. Why can’t we be like that?”

  Juliette had never seen the point of long engagements. She’d always believed if she was lucky enough to meet the man she wanted to spend the rest of her life with, she’d want to start their lives together as soon as possible. “You think we can?”

  “We could get married when you come out to California,” he whispered. “Your family wouldn’t have to know until you felt ready to tell them.”

  “You’re not serious.” But she knew he was.

  “I could come back to Vista Falls a few days later. You could stay out at my place, you know, gradually move your things in, take it slow, while everyone adjusted to the idea of us being a couple.”

  She thought of her obstinate father. He’d never get used to the idea, but she didn’t care. If he was too close-minded to give Zeke a chance, that was his loss. “I can’t believe you’re really suggesting we get married.”

  “I know it sounds impulsive.” He laughed. “Okay, it is impulsive. But some of the best decisions I’ve made in my life have been on the spur of the moment.”

  She couldn’t say the same. She was methodical, a planner who rarely made important decisions without making a pros-and-cons list. “But why now? Why not wait awhile?”

  “Being apart from you convinced me of one thing… I don’t wanna be. It sucks.”

  She smiled. “For me too.”

  “One of the things I love most about my job is that I can do it from anywhere. I’ve traveled around the world over the past few years, and as long as I had my laptop and Wi-Fi, I was good.”

  “You traveled around the world?” He’d never told her about his adventures, and it served as a stark reminder that she still knew so little about him.

  “Yeah, I guess I was feeling a little restless at home. I needed new scenery, to meet new people.”

  “Where did you go?”

  “Barcelona, Athens, Cairo, Dubai, Bangkok, Sydney, and Auckland. I was gone for a few months, give or take.” He smiled. “It’s not like I planned to go as far as I did. One place just kind of led to another, and it seemed like the perfect time for an experience like that. It gave me a sense of peace and clarity I’d never had before, so I’m really glad I did it.”

  Juliette imagined how incredible it would be to leave all of her responsibilities behind and just be free to wander and explore for as long as she wanted. “I’m not gonna lie. I’m more than a little jealous. I’ve always wanted to travel, but school, then my career, kind of took precedence.”

  “You could travel with me.” She heard the excitement in his voice. “I did the preliminary work, determined which places are worth seeing again. And seeing it all again with you would be amazing.”

  She imagined not getting reelected or not running in the next election. She would be free. Free to travel with Zeke. Free to leave Vista Falls and start a new life with him somewhere else if the people she loved couldn’t accept him.

  “I could resign.” She’d never expected to utter those words. She wasn’t a quitter, and she valued all of the people who’d placed their trust in her. But it was her life, and she had to start making her happiness more of a priority.

  “What?”

  “I said I could—”

  “I heard what you said. But I would never ask you to do that. Baby, I love you. I know how much that job means to you.”

  A few months ago, she would have said that her job was her life. But everything felt different now. “You’ve made me think about things I wasn’t even willing to admit I wanted. Marriage. Kids. Travel.”

  He laughed. “If I could make a suggestion? The marriage and travel should probably come before the kids.”

  “I want to see the world too, like you did.” Her breathing became short as her excitement built. “I want to be free. Free to live where I want, marry who I want—”

  “Sweetheart, you need to take a deep breath and think about what you’re saying.”

  “All my life I’ve tried to make everyone else happy. I did the responsible thing. Got good grades in school. Worked hard. Volunteered in my community. Then when the time came, I fought to prove to everyone that I was ready to fill my father’s shoes.” Her life played out before her as she spoke. She considered how much she’d changed since she met Zeke. “I’m tired of being judged, tired of living my life according to other people’s plans for me. I admire you so much. You’re living your life on your terms, doing exactly what you want to do.”

  “Don’t think that came without sacrifice, Jules. It wasn’t easy. I made decisions that hurt like hell and cost me a lot.”

  “I know.” She didn’t mean to diminish all that he’d been through, but given the way his life had turned out, he’d obviously made the right judgment calls.

  “No, you don’t know.” He sighed. “But I want you to know. I want you to know everything about me.”

  “I want that too.” She was suddenly concerned he might tell her something that would change everything. “You told me you’d never been married, didn’t have any kids. That’s true, isn’t it?”

  “What? Of course it’s true! How could you think I’d lie about that?”

  She just couldn’t imagine anything else that could come between them. Trying to make light of it, she laughed. “I just wanted to make sure you didn’t have a secret family stashed away somewhere.”

  His voice sounded grave when he said, “So you don’t believe you’re the only woman I’ve ever said these things to? That you’re the only woman I’ve ever even considered marrying?”

  “I do believe you, Zeke.”

  “But?”

  She could hear him slipping away, and it terrified her. But what terrified her even more was how much she’d grown to need him. In her mind, she’d built her entire future around him. She needed to take a deep breath, a step back, to think about what she was considering. “I guess we both need to take a little time. This conversation was totally unexpected for both of us, I think.”

  “That doesn’t mean I didn’t mean every word I said to you tonight.”

  Her stomach stopped churning. “I did too.”

  “Then you’re not having second thoughts about us?”

  “No.” She suspected that, like her, Zeke had never been insecure in a relationship before. But maybe being in love and vulnerable had that effect on people. “I think we both just need some time to really think this through. Living together—”

  “Getting married.”

  She closed her eyes as a slow smile spread across her face. As crazy as it seemed, she wanted to marry Zeke. “Getting married.”

  “Say it, Jules. Say you’ll marry me,” he said, sounding anxious. “I can make all the arrangements. You just tell me what you want. We can have your friends and mine here, or it can be just the two of us. We can keep it under wraps until you’re ready to tell everyone, or I can take out a full-page ad in the newspaper. However you want to play it.”

  She loved him even more for letting her call the shots, but she couldn’t give him an answer now as much as she might want to. “I need to sleep on it.” When he fell silent, she whispered, “Please tell me you understand.”

  “Yeah, sure.”

  “I know you want an answer now, but—”

  “It’s okay. Take all
the time you need. I want you to be sure.”

  “Just know that I love you, okay?”

  “I love you too. I’ll talk to you tomorrow.”

  Chapter Twelve

  Juliette was sitting at her desk the next day, trying to focus on work, when her receptionist buzzed to let her know someone was waiting in the outer office to see her. It wasn’t uncommon for people to stop by on a whim with a question. She had an open-door policy, and the residents of Vista Falls took full advantage.

  “Send them in,” Juliette said over the intercom as she shut her computer down.

  Juliette was a little stunned when she looked up a moment later to see a beautiful stranger in her doorway. The woman was petite, bordering on tiny, with caramel skin, long sun-kissed hair, and bright green eyes.

  “I’m so sorry to bother you, Miss Keyes.”

  “No bother,” Juliette said warmly. “To be honest, I could use a break. Come on in.” She stood to offer the young woman her hand across her desk.

  “Erin Pearson,” the young woman said, offering Juliette a timid smile. “I’m new in town, and I just wanted to get some more information about your bylaws and ordinances. I know I probably shouldn’t be bothering you with this, but—”

  “It’s no problem,” Juliette said, gesturing to the seat across from her. “It’s always nice to be able to personally welcome a new resident. So what brings you to Vista Falls?”

  “Um…” Her gaze flitted around the office, not really landing on anything. “My mother bought an old house and some land here years ago. She’d hoped to live there, but she got sick before she could make good on any of her plans.”

  “I’m sorry to hear that,” Juliette said gently.

  “She passed recently and left me the property.” She bit her lip. “I also got the little cottage we lived in back in Charleston, which will help me get set up here, I hope. You see, I’d like to do what my mother planned to—try my hand at homesteading.”