Coming Home (Vista Falls #4)

by Cheryl Douglas

  “Right after the shooting… I kept having this horrible nightmare about you going into the high school with that godforsaken weapon and taking out my daughter. Targeting her because you hated me so much.”

  Zeke could scarcely breathe as he imagined the scene Mr. Keyes described. “I didn’t do it.”

  “What?”

  “I didn’t shoot my brother.” He closed his eyes and leaned back in his swivel chair as that horrible day flashed through his mind. “He killed himself. I was just the one to find him.”

  “You’re lying.”

  Zeke didn’t expect Carl Keyes to believe him. He didn’t expect anyone to believe him, not even Juliette, but he knew the truth. “No, I’m not. He left a suicide note explaining why he did it.”

  “Why the hell would you take the blame then?”

  “To protect my parents. I knew if they found out he’d killed himself, they’d spend the rest of their lives torturing themselves, wondering what they could have done to prevent it or why they didn’t see the signs. You’re a father. Imagine how you would have felt if Juliette had taken her own life.”

  “This doesn’t make any sense. No one would go down for a crime they didn’t commit.”

  “Don’t think it was easy for me. It wasn’t easy to serve time, and it sure as hell hasn’t been easy to live with the secret, but my parents are gone now. I don’t think they’d want me to go on paying for my brother’s mistake for the rest of my life.”

  “His mistake?”

  “He was depressed because his girlfriend broke up with him.” He clenched his fist, still bitter. “He was just a kid. He would have had dozens of girlfriends. She wasn’t worth it.”

  “I can’t believe this. Has Juliette heard this story?”

  The fact that he referred to it as such reinforced Zeke’s fear. No one would believe him. “No, I haven’t told anyone. Except my best friend.”

  “Why the hell not? If you’re innocent, why wouldn’t you want everyone to know?”

  “Because I suspect most people in Vista Falls think the way you do. In their minds, I’m a murderer. And since I can’t prove I’m not, they’ll go right on believing I am.” He still had his brother’s suicide note, but he refused to share it to clear his name. It was personal. Private. The very last words his brother ever wrote.

  “You know what I think? That you’ve conjured up this story to make everyone believe you’re not a monster. You’ve set your sights on my daughter, and the only way you’ll gain acceptance in this town is if you explain away what you did all those years ago. Well, it’s not going to work. No one will ever forget what you did… or believe your lies!”

  Zeke stared at the phone long after Mr. Keyes had hung up.

  “Hey,” Branson said, rounding the corner into his office. “I knocked, but no one answered. You okay?”

  “I just told Juliette’s father what happened… what my brother did.”

  “You told him?” Branson asked, his eyes wide. “Don’t you think you should have told her first?”

  “I didn’t plan to tell him. He just started digging all that shit up again, and before I knew it, I was telling him the whole ugly truth.” He dropped his phone on the desk and scraped his hands over his face.

  “Okay, so now what? Obviously you can’t tell Jules this over the phone, and you can’t risk her old man being the one to tell her. So are you gonna fly out there?”

  He had an important meeting in the morning, but he could feign illness. The way his gut was churning right now, it wouldn’t even be a lie. “I don’t know what I’m gonna do.” He stared at his best friend, the man who’d become like a brother to him over the years. “What if she doesn’t believe me, man?”

  “Then she’s not the girl you thought she was. If she loves you as much as you love her, she’ll believe you. If she doesn’t? Better you find out now, Zeke.”

  Chapter Eighteen

  As soon as Zeke picked her up from the airport, Juliette could tell something was wrong. He’d kissed her as if he was afraid it might be the last time. Silence surrounded them as they drove toward the beach, and when she couldn’t stand it anymore, she asked, “What’s wrong? Why’re you so quiet?”

  “Uh, did you speak to your dad… invite him to the wedding?”

  “We’re not exactly on speaking terms.”

  His hand relaxed on the steering wheel. “Still, he’s your dad, babe. You sure you don’t want him here on your big day?”

  She knew how hard Zeke had worked to make their day special. The last thing she wanted was her dad going off on him and ruining it.

  “I doubt he would have come even if I’d asked.” And that hurt more than she was willing to admit. Sure, her dad was a condescending, opinionated, overbearing jerk, but Zeke was right—he was still her father.

  “Everyone still plans to fly out on Friday?” he asked, navigating his Porsche through the heavy late-day traffic with ease.

  “Yeah, they’ll fly out together.”

  Zeke had made all the arrangements, but he’d wanted to have a few days alone with Juliette before the wedding to make any last-minute decisions and ensure she was happy with his selections. They’d FaceTimed a few times, and he’d sent her dozens of photos and links before he’d committed to anything, so she was confident she’d be thrilled with the outcome.

  “And you have the dress?” he asked, looking nervous.

  “Babe, you took my garment bag. I carried it with me on the plane, remember?”

  “Right, yeah, sure. Must have slipped my mind.”

  “You seem kind of distracted. You sure everything’s all right?” She laughed, trying to lighten the mood. “You’re not getting cold feet, are you?”

  “No! Why? Are you?”

  She was only teasing, not that she’d have been surprised if he was having second thoughts. Their relationship had been a whirlwind. Sometimes she had to pinch herself to make sure it wasn’t a dream. She squeezed his hand reassuringly. “No way. I know we’re doing the right thing.”

  “Good.” He nodded, looking relieved. “So did your mom tell you we talked?”

  “She did.” She studied him while he drove, trying to figure out why he seemed so tense. “Was that weird for you, having her call you up out of the blue like that?”

  “Of course not. She’s your mom. I get that she’s concerned about you. She wants to make sure I’m not going to hurt her baby.”

  “Well, apparently she was satisfied after your talk because she’s been so excited about the wedding ever since.” She giggled. “We went shopping for her dress and shoes, and yesterday we had our hair highlighted and got mani-pedis and facials.”

  “Played hooky from work, huh? Good for you. You deserve it.”

  “I’m a little worried about being away from work so long. Three weeks is—”

  “It’ll be fine,” he snapped. “The goddamn town isn’t going to burn down without you there to stand guard.”

  She withdrew her hand, hurt by his tone and comment. “I just meant—”

  “I’m sorry, Jules.” He sighed as he turned off the air and rolled down the windows. “I didn’t mean to snap at you. I guess I’m just a little stressed about…”

  “The wedding. It’s okay. You can say it.”

  “It’s not just that. It’s everything. Knowing your father hates me, having to decide whether to keep my house here, leaving my friends behind, my work. It’s just a lot.”

  She felt guilty that she was uprooting his life this way, though he’d insisted he relocate for the sake of her career. “You could keep the house here, couldn’t you? That way you could fly out and see your friends whenever you wanted to. And they could come and visit you, right?”

  “Yeah, to Vista Falls, the entertainment mecca of the world. I’m sure they’d love that.”

  She was pretty sure he’d rolled his eyes, but since he was wearing chrome aviators, she couldn’t see. “They didn’t seem to mind it the last time they came,” she said, de
fensive on behalf of the town she loved.

  “Yeah, because there was plenty of booze and easy women to keep them entertained. I doubt you’re going to want me to host parties like that after we’re married.”

  “Is that what this is about?” she asked, folding her arms. “You’re afraid you’re going to have to give up your reckless lifestyle if you get married? If you already resent me—”

  “Who said I resent you?” he demanded, curling his hand around the steering wheel. “And for the record, my lifestyle isn’t reckless. I handle my responsibilities, and so do my friends. We don’t drink excessively, and we don’t do drugs. We just like to have a good time. Is that a crime?”

  “What the hell is up with you?” She was getting tired of his mood, especially since she didn’t know the real cause. She believed he was stressed out but suspected there was more to it. “Why are you acting this way?”

  “What way?”

  His knuckles were turning white, and she was so distracted by his temper she barely noticed the breathtaking view of the ocean and mountains as they turned into an exclusive gated community of multimillion-dollar estates. Zeke punched in a code, and the gates opened. They passed twin swimming pools, a recreation building, outdoor tennis courts, and a restaurant before he rounded the corner to an enclave of homes that fanned out… with the beach as their backyard.

  “This is incredible,” she whispered, staring at the two-story cream structure in front of her. It must have been ten thousand square feet. “I can’t believe you really live here.”

  He looked at the house as though he wasn’t really seeing it. “It’s a house. Walls, floors, kitchen, and bathrooms, just like any other.”

  “Forgive me. I don’t see homes like this in Vista Falls every day,” she said before snapping her mouth shut.

  He muttered a curse and took her hand. “I’m sorry I’ve been such an ass, sweetheart. I’m glad you like the house. I want you to feel comfortable here, to look forward to coming out when you can take some time off from work… assuming I… uh, we decide to keep it.”

  “Is that the problem? My work? Your work allows you to travel whenever you want. You’ve never been tied down. Do you resent the fact that you will be now because of my job? Not that you can’t travel alone,” she added quickly. “Or with your friends. I wouldn’t want you to think I’m trying to stand in the way of you having fun or—”

  He silenced her with a slow and thorough kiss. “I have fun when I’m with you. It doesn’t matter where we are.”

  She finally felt like she could breathe, but as she curled her hand around his neck and felt his rapid pulse, she knew something was still off. “Please tell me what’s wrong. And don’t say it’s nothing. I can tell something is bothering you.”

  “Let’s just go inside.” He kissed her hand. “I could really use a drink.”

  That comment did nothing to reassure her, but Juliette followed him into the house, carrying her garment bag. Her wedding dress. Was she crazy to even think about marrying a man who wouldn’t talk to her when he had a problem? She barely registered the high ceilings, the expansive windows with views of the ocean, or the sleek, contemporary furnishings that filled the massive rooms.

  Juliette hung her garment bag on a coat rack by the door before she grabbed his hand and willed him to look her in the eye, praying she could get through to him. “Here’s the thing—there are a few things that are deal-breakers for me in a relationship: communication, fidelity, and honesty. I have to be able to trust you. We have to be able to talk to each other if there’s a problem. If we can’t do that, we have no business getting married.”

  He rubbed the back of his neck before tipping his head back to look at the ceiling as though he expected to find the answers there. “Look, I get what you’re saying. And it makes perfect sense. It does. It’s just that this whole relationship thing is foreign territory to me, and it’s going to take me a little time to figure things out.”

  “What’s to figure out?” she asked, more confused than ever. “You either love me or you don’t. You’re committed to making this relationship work, to doing whatever it takes, or you’re not.” She curled her arms around her body, fearing his reply. “Which is it?”

  “It’s not that simple, and you know it.” He stalked to the living room window, leaving her standing in the foyer as he stared at the sun gradually dipping below the rolling waves. “We’re not kids anymore. We’ve both lived a lot of life up to this point. Done what we had to do, made mistakes. Done things we’re not proud of.”

  When her legs threatened to give out, she walked to the long, white sofa in the living room and sat down. She imagined the kind of mistakes he’d made and was afraid to tell her about. “I’m aware of that. I’m not totally innocent, you know.”

  “Compared to me, you are.” He still wouldn’t look at her. “I was so angry when I got out of juvie. I was mad at myself. Mad at the world, even my brother. I felt he’d taken things from me he had no right to take, then I hated myself for feeling that way ‘cause I couldn’t get him back.”

  Juliette couldn’t imagine how difficult it must be for him to live with the knowledge that he’d taken his own brother’s life. But it killed her to see him torturing himself over something he couldn’t change. “You deserve some peace in your life. Your brother would want that for you.”

  “He would.” He bit his lip. “And I thought I’d found it with you, but all of that stuff from the past that I thought I’d buried keeps resurfacing and making me miserable all over again. I can live with that. I’ve been living with it for twenty years, but I can’t stand the thought of making you miserable ‘cause I can’t get my shit together.”

  Juliette knew an exit strategy when she heard one. She clasped her trembling hands as she asked, “So what are you saying?”

  His chest heaved as he exhaled, finally turning to look at her. “I’m saying that I’m messed up.” His expression was pinched, filled with tension, as though he could barely contain it. “All kinds of crazy most days. I would be the most selfish bastard on the planet if I tried to pretend otherwise. You need to know me, the real me, before you marry me.”

  “That’s what I want,” she said, feeling tears in her throat. “But I feel like you’re trying to prevent that. I don’t know why, but I get the feeling you have these walls up, and I don’t know how to break through them.”

  “No one ever has. Not in a romantic relationship, at least. My buddies are my buddies. That’s a different kind of trust. But to lay my heart on the line and risk getting destroyed? I’ve never figured out how to do that.”

  “I guess I haven’t either, but I thought that’s what we were doing together, figuring out how to let our guards down and let each other in.”

  “We are.” He crossed the room and sat next to her, then he took her hand. “Here’s the thing… I love you so much it scares the hell out of me. I want you in my life more than anything. But I’m going to need a little more time to work through some of my… issues.”

  “There’s just one little problem,” she said, disappointed that he still wouldn’t let her in. “We don’t have time on our side, do we? Instead of taking the time to work through this stuff first, we rushed into planning this wedding. And now I have friends and family coming out at the end of the week—”

  “I still want to marry you,” he said, sounding anxious. “Nothing I’ve just said has anything to do with my feelings for you. I want you to be my wife, Jules. More than anything.” He reached into a drawer in the large square coffee table in front of them. “I bought this for you.” He looked nervous as he opened the velvet box to reveal a large pear-shaped diamond ring with baguettes. “I hope you like it.”

  “It’s beautiful,” she said, staring at the stone in his trembling hand.

  “I didn’t get to do this right the first time,” he said with a self-deprecating smile. “I feel like I just kinda put it out there to get your reaction, the idea of us getting married.” />
  “Then I guess I shocked you when I agreed.” She couldn’t help but wonder if he had any regrets about suggesting it, especially now that he seemed to be residing in his own personal hell.

  “You did. I couldn’t believe my dumb luck.” His hand grazed her cheek. “I never imagined I could be so blessed.”

  She smiled before glancing around her. “Most people would say you were blessed long before you met me.”

  “I have been,” he agreed. “With good friends, money, and a great job. But those of us who’ve learned how to live without love know that the other stuff doesn’t mean much without that one crucial ingredient. Because I’ve come to realize it is essential to a happy life, Jules. Love.”

  “I think so too.”

  “And I’ve finally found that with you. I don’t want to lose it. If I act a little crazy sometimes, it’s only because I’m scared.”

  “Of what?”

  “Losing this feeling. Losing you.” He closed his hand around the ring instead of slipping it on her finger. “That would kill me. The other stuff that I’ve been through in my life came close to breaking me, but losing you would break me, baby. You need to know that.”

  Zeke was just about the toughest guy she’d ever met. She couldn’t imagine anything with the power to crush him, least of all her.

  “So if you take this ring,” he said, holding it between them. “I need you to promise that you won’t ever take it off, that you won’t ever leave me. No matter how stupid you think I am for choices I’ve made or things I’ve done.”

  He was asking her to make an impossible promise. She didn’t have a crystal ball. She didn’t know what he might say or do in the future that could shake the foundation of their relationship any more than she could predict the impact her own actions could have.

  “I love you,” she said, stroking his jaw. “And I take marriage seriously. I want to be with you forever, and I can’t imagine anything or anyone strong enough to tear us apart. But I respect you too much to lie to you.”

  “What do you mean?” he asked, paling.