by Isobael Liu
“Now, look for it.”
Lilian nodded and went within again. She searched through her memories, tracing and tracking.
“Let me help.”
“No.”
“I know what to look for.”
“Thank you, but no.”
Calawe’s exasperation and anger at her refusal was tangible, but she wasn’t going to allow him to run around in her mind. She heard the knock at the door and the ripples of movement caused her to hesitate in her search. Her physical body waited, a part of her mental awareness surfaced so she could determine if there was a threat to her.
Khayyam had moved to the door and answered the knock. He nodded and strolled toward Calawe where he leaned down and whispered. Khayyam straightened as Calawe stood and made his way to the door.
There was a flurry of Sidhe, none of which she understood.
“We do not have time for your reticence, Lilian.”
Before she could gather herself, Calawe stormed her mind.
“How dare you!” She was furious and the energy around her began to pulsate.
She attacked Calawe mentally, trying to eject him from her mind, but he was quick and agile, able to dodge the attacks. He kept her busy, antagonizing her. Being focused on him in her mind, she was unable to use her physical attacks to wound him.
Lilian realized she was stronger with her abilities, but he was better trained in using them. She quieted, watching him with wariness. Calawe also quieted and watched her. He did nothing else.
“Now, let us look for this genetic memory together,” he instructed in a calm, even tone.
Her fury remained, along with her distrust of him being in her mind. After her battle with Ulwe, she held an innate suspicion for anyone invading her mind.
“It is good to be cautious, but do you think your father would have appointed me to help you if he did not trust me? Do you think he would not have already been through my mind to determine if I could be trusted?”
“It’s too soon after Ulwe. I’m still raw from it.”
“It is because of Ulwe again we must hurry this lesson. His Court has decided to investigate his death and wish to question you.”
Lilian frowned and sought her father. “Is this true?”
“Yes, it is so. It is a formality, so a returning former king cannot dethrone the next Winter King.”
Damn it, she thought, causing Calawe to chuckle in her mind.
“Fine, let’s get this over with. I want to be able to understand everything they’re accusing me of.”
Calawe nodded and they began.
Together.
Chapter 12
“Who pissed in Matthias’s corn flakes this morning?” asked Tiberius as Matthias snarled at a few of the pack members for not moving fast enough.
“Lilian’s gone,” someone whispered in reply.
Tiberius looked surprised. “What? Why?”
The young pack mate shrugged and gave a wary glance toward Matthias before whispering, “Don’t know, but her father and Khayyam are gone too.”
Tiberius shook his head.
Matthias turned on them and snarled. “You got anything better to do than to gossip about me and my mate?”
Tiberius lifted a brow. “Keep it up and she won’t be the only one who leaves.” He walked away.
Matthias bristled with pent-up anger, but didn’t pursue Tiberius. His concentration centered on why she left him.
He stormed off, and then burst into a run toward the woods. He shifted to his wolf form as he hit the border and like a dark shadow, was gone from sight. He stretched out his muscular form as his paws ate up the ground, tearing through the brush as though he could escape from the pain and the anger, but try as he might, he couldn’t outrun his loneliness, or his heartache.
It only got worse as the day went on. The longer he went without a touch, a word, anything from his mate, the more his mood and temper became darker and enraged. He snapped at anyone who approached, and caused children to burst into tears from his dark glares. Soon, people avoided him and he was glad of it.
Matthias saw his mother approaching, and from the look on her face, he knew he was in for some ranting. He turned to face her fully, bracing himself.
“I want you to pack up and get out,” she said, her tone even and quiet despite the storm he could see raging in her eyes.
“What?” Being kicked out of his pack by his mother was not what he expected.
“I said get out. Pack your things and leave. Tiberius can run the pack until you get your head screwed back on straight.”
“I beg your pardon?” Matthias asked, growing angry.
“I mean it. No one wants you here and if you don’t leave, the rest of us will. We’re sick of your temper.”
“Do you even know why I’m pissed?”
“Yes. Lilian left you. She went with her father to learn about her heritage and probably to think about things, considering she just went through a kidnapping, a major battle, almost dying, and then being forced to go through the Chrysalis to survive her injuries despite having not wanting to. Knowing you, you didn’t bother to consider any of it before you walked away from her first.”
Matthias growled. “I just needed some time to think about things.”
“About what? The fact she’s Sidhe now? The fact she’s more powerful than she was before? Or maybe because she’s a princess, the daughter of a king? Which is it?”
“Mother, you’re a pain.”
“And I’m going to get even worse because I meant what I said. Either you get out or we will.”
Matthias ran a hand through his hair, frustrated.
“Do you love her?” Helena asked, her tone softening.
Matthias pondered the question and when he found the answer, he nodded. “I do. I almost lost her before. I don’t want to lose her now.”
“Did you think it was going to be easy, especially for her? She’s mated to a Lupine. She’s not what she was before. She’s going to be confused and your walking away from her was stupid, Matthias. How insensitive could you be? She just woke up from everything that happened to her and you walk away to think. What about her? A woman likes to be reassured of things, especially when she almost died.” Helena shook her head. “I can’t believe you’re my son sometimes. You’re just like your father.”
Helena glared at him and with a final hmph, she turned and walked away, leaving Matthias standing there, stunned.
* * * *
It had taken two more hours for them to find the seed of memory in her mind and awaken the language in her. Calawe had seemed perplexed, but once the seed was found, together, they had planted it in her mind and made it grow, blossom and bloom so it opened even more of her mind to her.
Lilian was an unstoppable force when she realized she could understand and converse in Sidhe. She demanded Calawe to speak only in Sidhe to her so she could further her knowledge. She was able to pick up the nuances as quick as he could talk and soon, she rambled on and on about absolutely nothing just so she could hear herself talk in the lilting language.
“I don’t want anyone to know,” she warned Calawe.
He looked a bit intrigued. “Oh?”
She nodded. “Let them think I don’t understand. They’ll be more apt to speak if they think I don’t know what they’re talking about.”
Calawe grinned. “Such as making accusation with no merit.”
“Exactly. Let them say whatever they want.”
Calawe nodded. “Be careful. The Winter Court can be cruel. They take the game of politics very seriously, and with Ulwe gone, they will want to put their bids in for the crown.”
Lilian stood, wincing. She stretched, and replied, “I think I know exactly what they’re capable of, but thank you for your concern. Be careful though, someone might think you actually like me.”
She grinned at his abashed look and strolled for the door, Khayyam following behind her.
Lilian was starving, but she didn’t mak
e it halfway to her room before armed guards surrounded her.
“What is going on?” she demanded.
Khayyam tried to push his way through, but the guards kept him from her.
“You are being summoned to Court, Highness. An Inquiry has been brought forth regarding the death of the Winter King.”
“Father?”
“A formality. It’s all right. You’ll be better protected this way should the Winter Court decide on stupidity.”
“Stupidity was letting Ulwe be the king in the first place.”
She detected his amusement in her mind as the guards escorted her to the horseshoe shaped outer Courtyard. There, Amras was seated on the throne, and the courtyard filled with people. The lucky ones were able to get a seat before the benches ran out.
“Wow, just because of me?” she murmured.
One of the guards snickered under his breath and whispered, “You’re a bit of a celebrity.”
“And how do you know what a celebrity is?” she whispered back in amusement.
“I do take vacations on the mortal side.”
Lilian tried to picture the Sidhe tourist industry and just couldn’t.
The guards escorted her to an empty chair to the right of Amras and she sat down. Khayyam took his place behind and to the right of her.
As soon as she was seated, a group of four men approached. They were all dressed in somber colors, with pale skin and dark hair and eyes.
“Northlanders,” her father explained.
Winter Court.
They bowed to Amras who nodded in return. They gave her a brief glance before they launched into a rambling preamble.
“Shi cali tysti sai ailmondrai eil orolor ailesia ail vaendreas sail lali’m. Shi pai byr shaeloli si Ulwe tys myr shi ailylaer eir shi talyr aezaes eil aistasor bedi ail sor taraes.”
Lilian translated the speech from Sidhe to English. We have come to instigate an official inquiry in regards to Ulwe's death. We do not believe the Summer Court should be involved, as we cannot expect an impartial judge in this matter.
It was followed by a diatribe of complaints against her and the Summer Court in regards to the death of their king. She was hard pressed to pretend she didn’t understand the language when she wanted to beat them with her chair for the accusations they came up with.
Amras narrowed his eyes on the group, but before he could reply, she leaned in and whispered, “Is this going to take long? I’m starving. Calawe kept me from the midday meal.”
Those of the Summer Court and close enough to hear her whisper had to cover their snickers of amusement.
Lilian glanced at the group of accusers. “Oh, am I interrupting something important?”
The four glanced at one another, and then glared at her. “You do not speak Sidhe? We were under the impression you’ve been through your Chrysalis.”
“Oh, yes. I awoke from it yesterday morning. I’m still trying to figure things out.”
Amras glanced at her, at Calawe, and back at the group. She knew Calawe would explain things to her father.
“We’re here to find out what happened which resulted in Ulwe’s death,” the spokesman for the group said.
Lilian gave a shudder. “Horrible man. He had me kidnapped and tried to torture and kill me. I had to protect myself.”
They weren’t buying it, it seemed.
“You won’t mind then if we look into your memories.”
Lilian bristled. “I do mind, actually. I had enough of Ulwe’s mental raping. You think I’m going to let someone else try it? If you want to know, I’ll tell you what you want to know, but you aren’t going to go dancing through my head.”
One of the men started to smile, but contained it before his companions could detect the tilting of his lips. She eyed him before looking back at the spokesman.
“How do we know you wouldn’t edit out the necessary information?” he asked.
His tone was already accusing her of doing so.
“Lilian, do you remember after we first met, we sat together and shared our memories to catch up on our lives? It would be like so,” Amras explained.
Lilian was adamant. “No.”
It was more than just giving strangers free reign of her memories, and it was more than reliving Ulwe’s torture. In case they could not be trusted, she didn’t want them to know what she was capable of, what her strengths and weaknesses were. She would not allow herself to be used against her father and his kingdom, against the Lupines, or even her own people.
Well, former people .
The men turned and spoke with one another. As she suspected they would, they switched to their native tongue. Still, she did understand and it about killed her to not react to their suggestion. They wanted to force her to relive the memory!
Amras spoke up. “No. She was already put through enough torture by Ulwe, I will not have her forced to go through it again with your bungling.”
Lilian surged upward, sending a silent thanks to her father for his words so she could react, and react she did.
“Anyone who forces me into anything will get the worse beat down they’ve ever gotten. I don’t care what you are or who you are, I won’t be forced to go through it again!”
Just before everything could erupt into mayhem, Calawe spoke up. “If I may suggest something?” he asked as he stepped forward.
Amras nodded his permission.
“This matter will never be fully resolved unless the princess allows her memories to be accessed in regards to Ulwe’s alleged treachery,” he began.
Lilian noticed he had injected just enough derision in using her title to catch the Northlanders’ attention.
“Perhaps, if a chaperone was present in her mind, the chaperone could ensure only the memories regarding this specific matter were accessed and nothing else.”
Amras nodded in contemplation. “It is a good idea.”
“I only trust my father in my mind,” she said, shaking her head.
“Then there is a problem, Highness, because we cannot trust you only on your word nor can we dismiss the idea your father would show leniency or favoritism toward you.”
Lilian lifted her chin, and glared with anger at the small group. Around her, the air seemed to shimmer and a few soft gasps were heard.
“After what Ulwe did to me, I ought to instigate an inquiry on the Winter Court. What kind of kingdom would allow a king like that to rule? For your information, he was not only after me, but also involved in breeding other supernatural creatures in order to create a personal army so he could take over this world, and then mine. So, exactly what did I do wrong?”
“Perhaps the princess would allow Calawe to chaperone?”
Lilian looked surprised. The Northlander in the back of the group, the one who had tried not to smile, spoke up. He watched her as he said it, gauging her reaction. She frowned and straightened her shoulders. “No.”
Calawe shook his head as well. “I would rather not.”
He said it in such a way she was reminded of how much of an arrogant ass he could be. She lifted a brow and turned to look at him.
“Oh? And just how did you mean that?”
Calawe gave her a practiced smile, one she wasn’t buying.
“I would rather not subject you to my presence in your mind as you do not trust me.”
Lilian narrowed her eyes on him. He was much too smooth. She wasn’t sure which side he was on.
“I’d rather not have you in my head anyway. I don’t trust you. You’re too schmoozey.”
A term none of them seemed familiar with, as they looked rather confused and tried to confide with others to determine the meaning of “schmoozey”.
Calawe lifted a brow. “Did you just insult me?”
“Did I?” She smirked.
“In that case,” he said and turned to Amras, who watched with some amused interest. “Your Highness, I will chaperone as they search her memory.”
Lilian sucked in a breath. This was not h
ow she had planned this to turn out. In fact, she had planned no one getting into her head!
“I refuse!” she snapped.
Amras touched her mind with a sense of apology, as well as affection. She realized she was fighting a losing battle. She knew what he would decide and while it hurt, she understood he had very little choice. She understood, she just didn’t like the reasons.
“I accept Calawe as the chaperone. Lilian, you will allow them access to the memories beginning when Stephan took you and ending when you woke from the Chrysalis.”
She looked at her father. “All of those memories?”
Amras’s smile grew slowly on his lips. “Yes.”
Lilian didn’t allow herself to smile. “Yes, My Lord.” She turned to the group.
Calawe stepped up to her and laid a hand on her arm. She gave a faint nod, but didn’t look at him. When he brushed against her mind, she allowed his entrance and nodded to the Northlanders.
They didn’t ask for permission, they slid in like hot knives through soft butter. She hissed beneath her breath at the sensation, and made sure they were aware of her disgust at their presence.
Without warning, she opened the floodgates to her memories for that specific time. She allowed them to see her memories, making sure they experienced what she went through. When they tried to exit, she blocked them from leaving.
“You wanted to know, so you’ll know everything that happened!”
Every moment of terror, pain, desperation, and Madness, she bombarded them with it. It was as if they had been there themselves instead of her.
Even Calawe had been caught in the memories. Although he had witnessed a portion before, this was an unedited, unadulterated version and he experienced it just as the others did.
When it was over, Lilian threw them out of her mind. They looked pallid and all bore a horrified expression. She herself trembled, but the air around her vibrated with power which crackled in the silence.
“I hope your curiosity is sufficiently satisfied,” she said in a soft tone.
Her world tilted at an awkward angle, and she had the sinking feeling she was going to pass out.
They bowed. “Yes. We withdraw the Inquiry.”