Stella

by Helen Eve

  Lila pouted. ‘How come Luke has to sit out when Quentin doesn’t? He’s my boyfriend, in case you hadn’t noticed.’

  ‘Because you don’t like Quentin,’ Stella reminded her. ‘He’s overweight and his IQ is unusually low.’

  ‘That’s not the point,’ Lila sulked. ‘Why does he get to kiss Caitlin?’

  ‘I don’t think Caitlin wants to do this,’ Luke said as I pulled away from him, humiliated. What was I to them, a toy?

  ‘No one’s forcing her,’ Stella said sweetly, drawing my gaze from Luke to her. ‘She can leave right now if she wants.’

  Still dizzy, I watched her angel’s face merge with Caroline’s and back again. I was ready to surrender when Katrina froze.

  ‘Someone’s outside,’ she hissed in panic. ‘We need to leave.’

  Stella sounded impatient. ‘There’s no one there, Katrina.’

  ‘There is,’ Katrina insisted. ‘We can’t get another detention or we could get banned from the election.’

  Stella only got as far as the hallway before she and Luke started making out, but the others disappeared in record time. Edward caught my arm as I made to follow and pulled me back inside his room.

  ‘I know this isn’t the best time to ask, but usually you’re surrounded by a pack of girls,’ he said hesitantly. ‘I’d like to take you out, if you’ll let me.’

  I tried not to look over his shoulder towards Stella and Luke. Their make-out session wasn’t helping my nausea, and I regretted drinking the champagne.

  Luke is taken, I told myself firmly. Edward is cute and kind and exactly the kind of boy you’ve always wanted to date. Don’t blow it for a stupid crush on someone who’s off-limits.

  ‘Sure,’ I said. ‘I’d like that.’

  He leaned forward and kissed me gently on the lips, but I ruined the moment by dropping my phone, then scrambling after it.

  ‘Goodnight,’ he said, and laughed. ‘Catch up with Stella and stay out of sight.’

  But by the time I’d left his room, Stella had vanished.

  * * *

  The hallway light snapped off as I crept inside Woodlands and collided with the door frame. Katrina had explained earlier which stairs creaked and which doorways would help me remain undetected, but my head seemed to be full of bubbles. I gripped the oak banister as I roiled to one side and then the other, hoisting myself up as if the stairwell were a mountain range.

  ‘Stella?’ I whispered into the blackness.

  I heard a giggle.

  ‘Stella!’ I repeated, louder this time. ‘Could you please turn on the light?’

  There was silence, and then I held my hand instinctively in front of my eyes as a flashlight – torch – shone in my face.

  ‘Caitlin?’ Mrs Denbigh hissed. ‘What are you doing out here? And who else is with you? Did I hear you calling for Stella?’

  I paused, wondering if she’d believe I’d been to the bathroom in my coat and shoes. I was not cut out for espionage.

  ‘Kick-off finished an hour ago!’ She sounded outraged. ‘Where on earth have you been?’

  My voice was trembling. ‘I just went outside for some fresh air.’

  I was pretty sure my dad would advise me to say nothing else without an attorney present, and after a minute of silence she sighed in defeat.

  ‘Go to bed,’ she said. ‘Come and see me tomorrow morning for your punishment.’

  I waited for her to head downstairs before I started walking again. Almost immediately, Stella appeared from the shadows.

  ‘You should have told me you were there,’ she said. ‘I’d have shown you where to hide so you didn’t get caught.’

  Before I could reply, she vanished into her room.

  I undressed by lamplight in front of my mirror, stopping short as I pulled off my top to see the silver Team Stella slogan branded in shimmering letters across my chest.

  Chapter Fourteen

  Stella

  Caitlin is at the lunch table when I arrive and she’s dying to talk to me.

  ‘I’ve got something to tell you,’ she gushes. ‘Edward asked me out.’ She’s shaking, although I can’t tell whether it’s with excitement or in anticipation of a painful death at the hands of one of Edward’s myriad female fans. ‘I tried to tell you last night but you disappeared.’

  She’s very upbeat considering that she’s just been punished and should have a killer hangover, and I register admiration at this resilience. ‘What did you tell him?’

  ‘I said yes, but I wanted to check with you, because Edward dated you first.’

  She looks embarrassed and shreds a napkin. I’m unwilling to discuss the finer points of Edward’s womanizing history over lunch, but relieved that his attentions have overshadowed her first experience of Dionysus’s special gifts.

  ‘I’m delighted for you to date Edward,’ I tell her. ‘He’s very special, and I’m glad he’s finally found someone else worthy of him.’

  She nods in relief. ‘That means a lot to me, Stella.’

  ‘I’m sorry Mrs Denbigh caught you,’ I say. ‘I can’t imagine what woke her up: normally she mainlines enough Valium before she goes to bed to fell an elephant. Have you got le punishment yet?’

  She looks downcast. ‘I have to do my prep with the Shells for a week, and, if I get in any more trouble, I get gated. Whatever that means.’

  ‘Is that all?’ I frown. ‘I thought –’

  She nods. ‘She explained that you’re all on a warning, but because I’m new she hasn’t banned me from the election. Not that that matters, of course.’

  ‘Does she know who else was there?’ I ask cagily.

  She looks horrified. ‘I’m not a tattle tale. I said I was alone. I think she knew I was lying, but she couldn’t prove anything.’

  I’m satisfied with her response. A simple knock on Mrs Denbigh’s door was necessary to ascertain that Caitlin’s fear of authority wouldn’t override her loyalty to her friends, and she’s passed this test with flying colours.

  ‘That punishment’s not so bad,’ Katrina says comfortingly as she joins us. ‘The Shells are too little to make fun of you. The Fourths and Fifths would be much worse.’

  ‘I’ve never had a punishment before,’ Caitlin admits. ‘But it’s worth it, now I’ve passed my Star initiation.’

  Katrina and I look at each other and shake our heads. ‘I’m afraid you haven’t passed your initiation,’ I say regretfully.

  ‘What?’ She turns red. ‘Why not? I earned my Stripe! Edward kissed me!’

  ‘What?’ Katrina’s lip trembles.

  ‘Stella, you saw him kiss me!’ Caitlin insists. ‘It was in his room, right before you went to bed.’

  ‘I didn’t see anything,’ I say.

  Caitlin’s voice falters. ‘He did kiss me.’

  Katrina lets out a sob and runs from the table, which is probably for the best; one crying Star at a time is quite enough.

  Caitlin looks at me in shock. ‘Did Katrina want to hook up with Edward last night? You told me they were over!’

  I don’t want to hurt Katrina, but last night’s events show how urgently her crush needs to be dealt with. She’ll see as soon as she stops crying that she and Edward would never work, and that her loyalties shouldn’t be confused right before the election campaign. As manager she needs to be on top of her game, and a tumultuous relationship – which would be inevitable with Edward involved – would be terribly distracting. I can’t imagine him reciprocating her feelings in any real sense, but Caitlin is useful insurance.

  ‘I knew if I told you Katrina liked Edward, you wouldn’t go out with him,’ I improvise. ‘And that would be stupid, because Edward really likes you.’

  I have no idea whether this is true, but I’m delighted that one well-aimed arrow has culled so many birds. I love it when things go to plan.

  ‘What – what about my initiation?’ asks Caitlin in a small voice, as if she’s ashamed to be thinking about herself instead of Katrina. Her encouragin
g commitment to the cause suggests she’s not quite as vanilla as Edward thinks; in fact, as long as she gets through her task, she could be a real asset in the coming months.

  I smile at her. ‘Just leave that to me.’

  Chapter Fifteen

  Caitlin

  I felt myself blush as I unpacked my pencils and books at a too-small desk. When I tried to wedge my chair under the desk I hit my knee painfully on the wood, and the Shells all giggled. How could little girls of twelve be more clued in than I was? By the way they were pointing and whispering I could see I was the main attraction of that evening’s prep, and I kept my eyes firmly downwards as Miss Finch called for silence. She even glared at me as if I were to blame for the disruption.

  I slumped at the prospect of a whole week of this torture. Injustice burned through me as I started my Physics exercise, methodically scribbling notes in pencil and trying to drown out the noise.

  ‘She is … she’s not…’ the Shells hissed around me. ‘She’s not!’

  I figured out that they were disputing whether I was wearing star earrings. Embarrassed to be taking the punishment for the misdemeanours of a clique that hadn’t even accepted me, I shook my hair forward and tried to focus on my work. That was why I was here, after all. Star or not, I could at least be a good student.

  I jumped as the door banged, digging my pencil into the page and snapping the lead.

  ‘Late, Mr Lawrence.’

  Miss Finch was trying to sound stern, but the Shells giggled as Edward winked at her before taking his seat behind me. They flirted, pretending to drop their pens so they could prance past him, and flipping folded-over notes onto his desk.

  ‘What are you doing?’ I whispered, holding my hand in front of my mouth. ‘Have you come here to make fun of me?’

  Edward sounded surprised. ‘Of course not. I told Mrs Denbigh it was my fault you broke curfew. I thought she’d lift your punishment, but she just gave me the same one.’

  ‘Oh.’ I felt guilty for thinking the worst of him. ‘Then thank you, I guess.’

  ‘Caitlin! Quiet!’ snapped Miss Finch.

  I looked back at my notes and tried to ignore Edward as he hissed my name.

  ‘What?’ I spun round as he kicked the back of my seat.

  ‘I just wondered if you knew that your bag was moving.’

  ‘I don’t get your sense of humour,’ I said, exasperated. ‘Is that slang for something?’

  He nodded towards my book bag, which was slung over the back of my chair. It was impossible, and yet he was right.

  Checking that Miss Finch wasn’t looking, I gingerly put the bag on my desk and looked inside. A pink nose and some whiskers peeped out.

  I turned furiously back to Edward. ‘Why is there a rat in my bag?’

  He feigned surprise. ‘A rat? In your bag?’

  I was taking Biology so I was used to the lab rats we were studying; I even recognized this one. It was white, but its eyes were black rather than pink, and Lucy and I had named it van Gogh because it was missing half of one ear. I had no idea what game Edward was playing, but I wasn’t going to be a part of it.

  As the rat made a bid for freedom and leapt onto my desk, I grabbed at it instinctively. ‘Ow!’ I threw it back inside my bag as it bit me. Blood streamed down my finger.

  Miss Finch looked at me in abject horror as the Shells’ whispering reached a hysterical pitch. ‘Caitlin, what is the meaning of this?’

  I held up my bleeding hand. ‘I’ve cut myself. May I be excused to go to the bathroom?’

  She turned pale. ‘Please go,’ she said urgently.

  The Shells closest to me were overcome with excitement. The last words I caught as I left were, ‘Caitlin is the coolest Sixth Former ever. No one’s brought a rat to prep before!’

  In the lab, I emptied van Gogh into his tank and pressed a Kleenex to my finger as I watched him lumber around. What am I doing here? I muttered, blinking back tears. Why did I think I could be someone?

  I usually shut out memories of home, but for a second I allowed myself to think of helping Charlie with his homework at the kitchen table with a plate of Double Oreos as our reward. I thought of my subway ride to school; of picking up my latte before first period; of eating Froot Loops and watching Leno with Dad when neither of us could sleep. I thought of visiting Grandma once a month for appointments with Yale alumni whom she was convinced would give me an in with the Dean; of eating frozen yoghurt with my friends at Forty Carrots; of spending every Memorial Day on Nantucket with my cousins.

  And suddenly each and every one of these memories overwhelmed me with their stifling tedium. I might have gotten into trouble and been attacked by vermin, but, whatever life at Temperley High had been so far, boring was not one of them. And I’d endured more than enough to become a Star. I didn’t have to be such a pushover.

  * * *

  As prep was nearly over, I headed for the Common Room. It was busy, so there were plenty of witnesses, but none of the Stripes were around. This seemed a good time.

  I was calm as I opened the French windows and walked onto the patio. It was dark and freezing, but at least this way I’d have done everything I could.

  ‘What’s she up to?’ I heard Lila ask as I pulled my jersey over my head.

  ‘She’s not…?’ added Penny in a stage whisper.

  ‘She is!’ Katrina said delightedly as I kicked off my sneakers and pulled down my jeans. It was only the same as going swimming, I told myself. Except without water.

  Although I didn’t like public sporting events, I had stamina. I took off as fast as I could, focusing on the pounding of my bare feet rather than the whooping students who’d gathered to watch.

  I couldn’t see where I was going and I cursed as tree roots and little stones pierced my feet. ‘Think of the earrings,’ I muttered as I pushed myself on. Then I skidded and pitched lengthways into a patch of wet grass. Unsure whether to laugh or cry, I twisted around to see someone running towards me and calling my name.

  ‘Come on! Get up before you catch pneumonia.’

  I noticed as Katrina pulled me to my feet that her underwear was a lot prettier than mine. But then, maybe she did this more often.

  The path was pitch black. ‘This is gross,’ I complained. ‘I can’t even see what I’m stepping in.’

  Katrina giggled. ‘Still think it’s worth it?’

  The adrenaline and her glittering earrings gave me confidence. ‘Katrina, I’m so sorry about Edward! If I’d known you still liked him, I’d never…’

  ‘It’s fine.’ Her voice shook, but perhaps because she was out of breath. ‘You did me a favour – I’ve wasted enough time on him. Please don’t think any more about it.’

  ‘Thank you!’ I couldn’t believe how nice she was. ‘You’re a good friend.’

  I slowed down as we looped back on ourselves, not wanting to face anyone when I was covered in mud, but then I saw more figures in the gloom.

  ‘You could’ve waited!’ hollered Penny. She and Lila, also stripped to their underwear, were running towards us. They wore identical high heels and gold anklets.

  ‘You fakers!’ shouted Katrina. ‘You missed out the hard bit. You just want attention!’

  ‘We do not!’ Penny was outraged. ‘We’re late because we were trying to persuade Stella and Mary-Ann to come with us.’

  ‘Penny’s wearing a thong,’ Lila said as they reached us. ‘Right now, she has no secrets from anyone.’

  Nearly crying with laughter, Katrina bent down and smeared her hands in mud. Before Penny could run away, she had smacked her hard on the butt cheeks. In retaliation, Penny threw a handful of dirt at her and pretty soon we were all filthy from head to foot. Finally we ran back to the Common Room, holding hands in a long line.

  ‘Look who’s here,’ Penny said in a sing-song voice.

  ‘Oh crap,’ I said, trying to hide behind the others.

  The Stripes were now standing right outside the doors, barring our way.
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br />   Edward was grinning broadly. ‘Looking good,’ he said, casting an appraising eye over me. ‘Where’ve you been all my life, Clarke?’

  I ignored him as I rifled through the discarded clothes, unable to see which were mine.

  The Stripes had been on their way to football practice and were in full kit. Edward deftly pulled his shirt over his head and handed it to me. I was grateful that it reached almost to my knees.

  ‘Can I wear yours, Luke?’ Penny asked him flirtatiously.

  Luke laughed as he gave it to her. ‘You’re shameless, Ambrose,’ he said.

  I did my best to avert my eyes from his bare chest.

  ‘I’m shameless?’ Penny said. ‘Edward’s girlfriend is responsible for this, not me. You know what they say about the quiet ones.’

  Luke turned to me in surprise. ‘You?’

  I tried to push past Edward, embarrassed at being referred to as his girlfriend before we’d even been on a date, but he caught my arm. ‘Are you mad with me?’

  ‘You put a rat in my book bag!’ My voice came out in a squeak. ‘Of course I’m mad!’

  He pulled me aside and lowered his voice. ‘Can’t you see why? I was helping you!’

  I shook my head in disbelief. ‘I want to go inside, Edward. I’m cold.’

  ‘It was your initiation,’ he explained patiently. ‘I’ve seen you handle the lab rats, so I know they don’t bother you, but the Stars thought it would be really scary.’

  I stared at him. ‘I’d already passed my initiation? I didn’t need to do this?’

  He seemed to be holding back laughter, which made me even angrier.

  ‘Hazing is a crime in forty-four states!’ I snapped.

  He pulled me towards him. ‘Then it’s a good thing we don’t have states in this country. Yes, I’m pretty sure you’ve passed initiation. But let’s call this insurance.’

  He rubbed my nose with his and then kissed me. ‘You are really hot,’ he whispered.

  * * *

  The whole student body seemed to be watching as I went back inside. I couldn’t bear to look at Ruby, who was frozen by the French windows, her eyes wide in disbelief. Lucy, Hannah and Caroline looked shell-shocked and I suddenly lost my nerve, wanting only the safety of my bedroom. As I hurried to the door, someone said my name, and I turned reluctantly.