Stella

by Helen Eve

  Everything seems to grind to a halt as she extends her hand. I feel myself go red, and as I glance around the room it seems that every single student is as shocked as I am.

  I take off my earrings and give them to her without even trying to fight back. I’m pretty sure I feel every bit as bad as Ruby did when it happened to her, and I’m also pretty sure that I deserve to.

  Chapter Thirty-seven

  Caitlin

  Ruby giggled. She’d been steadily recovering over the past few weeks until she was once more the spirited girl she’d been. The Shells and Removes, heeding my endorsement of her, had started talking to her again and I now counted her amongst my closest friends.

  ‘This is incredible! I wish I knew who’d done it.’

  ‘What’s going on?’ I asked as I sat down following my failed attempt to reason with Stella about her self-portrait.

  ‘It was on Twitter this morning. Or Facebook. Or maybe there was an email…’ Ruby frowned. ‘There’s so much news to keep track of. I forget who came up with the original idea, but it’s really caught on.’

  She pointed around the room. Every girl in the cafeteria had pulled back her hair to show off sparkly star earrings. As far as I could see, they were identical to ours.

  ‘It’s like a revolution,’ I said.

  ‘You’re understating,’ Ruby said. ‘I don’t think you know what this means. Those earrings are the Stars’ identity. The others are going to be mad as hell.’

  Katrina was staring at a group of Removes on the next table. ‘You know Penny’s dad had our earrings custom-made?’ she asked in a low voice. ‘I can’t even tell the difference.’

  ‘That’s the best bit.’ Ruby was smirking openly. ‘I heard that Ally and her friends went out and bought a ton of the cheapest earrings they could find. It’s a total insult.’

  ‘We’ll know whose are real when Ally’s ears turn green,’ Katrina suggested hopefully.

  ‘Have you seen what’s going on over there?’ asked Ruby, nodding at the Star table.

  We weren’t close enough to hear what was being said, but there was no mistaking what was happening as Stella removed her earrings and handed them to Lila. Ruby smiled happily as if her old wounds had healed, while Lila and Penny stalked towards us.

  I now headed up our table and everyone faced me with the same respect they’d once shown Stella. I knew everyone in the room would be ready with their phones, and I moved my chair so they would get my good side. It was amazing how ugly – and sometimes fat – one could look in candid pictures taken at the wrong angle.

  ‘Stella won’t back down,’ Lila announced. ‘We told her she can do what she likes, because we’re joining your campaign. Although I don’t see why she should keep hold of the Star table just for her and Mary-Ann.’

  ‘I can’t believe you took her earrings,’ I said, trying to hide the delight I felt at this momentous event.

  Lila opened her hand to show the evidence. ‘We had to make a public statement to show we’re on your team. Formally withdrawing support should make everyone see that they shouldn’t even consider voting for her.’

  I put on my (clear) glasses so photographic evidence of this conference would show it to be businesslike, but Lucy cut in before I could speak. ‘You’re welcome to join us on our table, of course.’

  She and Hannah had been pushed out of their usual spots but were still listening eagerly.

  Lila and Penny turned to Ruby. ‘We’re sorry, Ruby,’ said Lila. ‘Will you forgive us?’

  Ruby did a good job of acting upset. ‘You really hurt me,’ she told them. ‘You know I’d never treat you like that.’

  ‘Stella had her own agenda,’ I said, not wanting to spread the blame. ‘Lila and Penny were helpless bystanders.’

  Ruby frowned for a second, but then stood and hugged them both. ‘I missed you,’ she said tearfully. ‘Let’s never fight again. And of course you can sit here.’

  As pleased as I was for Ruby – and not forgetting that I’d been the main campaigner for her reinstatement – it felt important that I was the one to extend the official invitation. ‘Maybe it would be a good idea if you sat here,’ I told them. ‘Even if we have rights to the Star table, it’s bringing nothing but bad luck and drama.’

  ‘Thanks, Caitlin,’ said Penny gratefully. ‘We’d love to sit here instead. Although there isn’t much room.’

  She shoved her chair sideways, displacing Caroline.

  I cast an eye over my new table, which seemed to take up half the cafeteria. Now so many Stars had joined, I felt a pang of regret about the inclusivity ethic my campaign had been built on. It had helped me gain followers, but it seemed I’d been too indiscriminate. There was no hierarchy and some very questionable people sat before me, as if the table were a dumping ground for the socially inadequate. The order created and maintained by the Star Salute was now abundantly clear: once I no longer had to fraternize with the general public, I’d implement something similar.

  ‘Let’s talk about something happier,’ Penny suggested, interrupting Lucy, who was saying something dull about exams. ‘Let’s discuss the Elevation theme!’

  She and Lila were the self-elected Presidents (and sole members) of the Elevation Committee, mainly because Penny’s father was the director of a large PR company and was having his staff coordinate the event free of charge.

  Lucy groaned, making me cringe with embarrassment for her. Why didn’t she know how to behave when the Stars were around? ‘Please tell me it’s not ghostly cheerleaders. Or zombie pirates. Or slutty vampires. Or—’

  ‘It’s none of those things,’ Penny said with dignity. ‘Mrs Denbigh has vetoed the undead. You’re going to love this! It’s – wait for it…’

  She and Lila had evidently been practising. They paused before chorusing: ‘It’s Stars and Stripes.’

  A stunned silence descended.

  ‘You’re kidding, right?’ I asked.

  We all looked around the room, where silver stars were conspicuously present. The Stripes’ new soccer shirts were even emblazoned with a giant star front and back.

  ‘Are you trying to make us a laughing stock?’ I said. ‘This whole Star thing is a disaster right now.’

  Lila nodded. ‘That’s exactly why. Don’t you see? It shows we don’t take ourselves too seriously and keeps us in the public eye. Penny’s dad says nine tenths of being a successful celebrity is—’

  ‘But everyone already thinks they’re a Star!’ I protested. ‘We should be losing the name, not becoming the butt of the joke.’

  Lila was impatient. ‘We shouldn’t be losing the name; we should be reclaiming it.’

  She scrabbled in her bag for a stack of black invitations. Join us for a night with the Stars and Stripes, it proclaimed in gold writing that was only visible when tilted sideways. Inside a six-point star were the words: Dress code: silver stars.

  ‘What’s this got to do with the Stripes?’ I asked.

  Penny shrugged. ‘Nothing, really. It should just be Stars, but the boys complained that the theme always excludes them.’

  ‘So it’s nothing to do with America?’ I asked.

  Penny cocked her head. ‘Oh, you mean like the flag? I never thought of that. How funny!’

  I started to smile. ‘You could be onto something. This is clever – as if we’re inviting everyone to our party.’

  ‘Not only that,’ Penny said. ‘Everyone’s so keen on silver stars that we have to evolve if we’re going to stay ahead of the pack. So our dress code – just the real Stars – is going to be gold. When the venue is decorated gold too, it’ll be crystal clear who the night belongs to.’

  With a flourish she handed each of us a box containing earrings identical to the last pair, but in gold. ‘They’re only for us,’ she said sniffily as Lucy held out her hand.

  I smiled at Lucy, but secretly I could see Penny’s point that a line needed to be drawn.

  ‘Why have you only just announced a theme?’ I ask
ed, thinking of the pink prom dress hanging ready in my closet. ‘Elevation is tomorrow and now we all have to buy new dresses.’

  ‘You say that as if it’s a bad thing,’ said Penny. ‘But the theme was always going to be gold. We just made it more exciting.’

  She looked to Katrina for support, but Katrina was leafing through a magazine and appeared not to hear.

  ‘Now we’re all back together – well, almost all of us – we can play to our strengths, and we can match!’

  Lucy was having a hard time saying something. ‘You’re Stars again,’ she managed, looking at me. ‘You said everyone should be equal, but this is the same as it was under Stella.’

  ‘It’s totally different,’ I said smoothly. ‘If I win tomorrow, it’s for the good of us all. Not only will we be equal, but the earrings will show everyone that we levelled the field.’

  Lucy wanted to argue, but I held her gaze until she looked away, wondering why she couldn’t see how much she had to be grateful for. She was sitting with the Stars and the future Head Girl, wasn’t she? I’d rescued her from obscurity and ensured she’d never be bullied again. Sometimes it felt as if helping out these people was more trouble than it was worth.

  ‘I agree with Lucy,’ Katrina said, proving my point. ‘Starting this again will only cause trouble.’

  ‘We’re winning!’ I said, irritated to have to include other people in my hard-won success. ‘We’re ahead in all the opinion polls and no one trusts Stella anymore. I’m surprised she dares show her face – she must be terrified about tomorrow.’

  ‘We need to concentrate on our campaign,’ Katrina said. ‘If we win, I want it to be because we were the best, not because Stella got annihilated. That’s no victory. She’s already completely alone – what more do we want?’

  Edward had drawn up a chair next to me. ‘I think Katrina’s right,’ he said frankly. ‘Stella’s no angel, but does she deserve this?’

  ‘How can you say that?’ I raised my voice. ‘I can’t help it if everyone prefers me!’

  Before I had to request privacy, everyone at the table dwindled away. It was as if my mood could directly affect the group’s dynamic.

  Edward continued once we were left alone. He was flushed with annoyance, which was cute. It was rare that he showed this much emotion. ‘They might prefer you right now, but if you carry on like this they might change their minds.’

  ‘You put this campaign together,’ I reminded him. ‘You asked me to run with you because you knew we could beat her.’

  He shook his head. ‘I asked you to run with me because I thought you’d be a good Head Girl, not because I wanted my oldest friend destroyed. If you do win, I hope it’s worth it.’

  I spoke before remembering it was important never to reveal insecurities. ‘You sound like you’re still in love with her!’

  He looked taken aback. ‘You’ve changed since Speech Day, do you know that? You say you want to give ordinary students a voice; to show them they don’t have to be perfect or in the right clique. But you don’t want to stand against Stella; you want to replace her. You dress like her, you act like her: you say I’m in love with her, but you’re the one who’s obsessed with her. It’s not working, and it’s not you.’

  I stood firm. ‘This is me, and if you want us to be together you should get used to it.’

  And it is working, I added silently as he shook his head in defeat and left.

  * * *

  I turned my attention to Stella, who was still alone at the Star table. The timing was perfect.

  ‘Hey, Stella.’ I unrolled a painting I’d stashed under the table. ‘I think this is yours.’

  ‘Give that to me,’ she said through clenched teeth.

  ‘Sure,’ I shrugged. ‘Just as soon as you tell the truth about what happened to your portrait.’

  ‘I’m not going to do anything you tell me,’ she said calmly. ‘You don’t threaten me.’

  ‘Are you sure I don’t?’ I asked, reaching into my bag for the rolled-up canvas I’d stumbled on in the art room when I’d been looking for her portrait. I hadn’t found that, but I had unearthed this painting of the Hamilton family on vacation, which I’d figured I could use as leverage to make her tell the truth.

  I’d given her enough of a chance. If it were that important, she’d have stopped me.

  But when I ripped it she looked as if she were in physical pain.

  ‘There you go,’ I said, tossing her the pieces. ‘Now I’m finally living up to the edgy reputation everyone wants for me.’

  Chapter Thirty-eight

  Stella

  After Caitlin leaves the cafeteria I sit alone for a long time. I contemplate the canvas pieces for a moment and then I slice them again.

  ‘Vandalism isn’t what I had in mind when I gave you that painting,’ Mr Kidd says sternly as he approaches.

  Seeing him makes me remember how much I like to paint, and the way it once helped me to shut out everything else. Mr Kidd has always been one of my favourite teachers, even though he’s someone I’d never argue with. I never knew either of my grandfathers, but Siena told me that one of them reminded her of him.

  I smile at him as brightly as I can. ‘It was an accident, Sir.’

  ‘Really?’ he says sardonically. ‘Are there any leads on the whereabouts of your self-portrait, by the way?’

  ‘Not yet,’ I say, thinking of my ever-increasing tally of missing possessions.

  ‘Can I help?’ he says more gently, gesturing to the mess in front of me.

  I don’t know why I care about this; I couldn’t even bring myself to look at the painting when it was whole. I gather up the fragments and hold them to my chest.

  ‘No, thank you, Sir,’ I say stiffly as I walk away.

  Chapter Thirty-nine

  Caitlin

  I took off to the library, where Luke had a cup of coffee waiting for me. Even though things between us hadn’t progressed beyond friendship, it was better than nothing. He wasn’t the kind of guy to jump into a new relationship, especially when I was still dating his friend. I could live with that; we had plenty of time. It was just a pity that I’d be running the school with Edward rather than him next year.

  He threw me a candy bar. ‘I thought you might need chocolate. I hear you and Edward had a row tonight?’

  I winced, dividing the chocolate and giving him half back. There was no need to tell him that I no longer ate junk food. ‘Bad news travels fast, I see.’

  He laughed. ‘Tom told me. Apparently everything you do is newsworthy these days.’

  My cheeks burned with embarrassment and I hoped he hadn’t heard what had just happened between me and Stella in the cafeteria. ‘Did he tell you what it was about?’

  Luke shook his head. ‘No, just that it was loud.’

  I sighed in relief. I had the impression he might take Stella’s side if he knew. ‘I said some stuff I didn’t mean.’

  ‘I’m sure Edward did too.’ Luke always saw the good in people. ‘Everyone fights from time to time and it takes two people.’

  ‘We haven’t fought before. We’re not really that kind of couple. Unlike…’

  ‘Unlike me and Stella?’ He ruffled his hair and squinted at me in the fading light.

  I laughed. ‘I never said that.’

  ‘It’s okay. I never thought we’d end up fighting either. What an idiot I was.’

  ‘You aren’t the idiot,’ I said sincerely. ‘She’s the one who let you go.’

  He grinned. ‘Ain’t that the truth.’

  ‘So what’s going on with you two?’ I asked. He usually shied away from questions about Stella, but as he’d brought up the subject I wanted to take advantage of it.

  He was visibly upset. ‘Stella needs to figure out what she wants.’

  ‘What about what you want?’

  He looked as though he’d never considered that before. ‘What I want…’ he said quietly.

  Then he changed the subject. ‘So what about y
ou?’

  I sighed, not wanting to discuss Edward. ‘Let him cool off? Then apologize?’

  ‘Sounds good. Things were going well before this row, weren’t they?’ He leaned across and picked up my hand as I nodded. ‘Purity ring still intact, though. Will you really wait until you’re married?’

  He’d let my hand drop, but was looking at me intently.

  ‘Not necessarily,’ I blushed. ‘But how do you know if you’re with the right person?’

  He thought to himself. ‘You just do. I can’t explain it.’

  This wasn’t the response I’d hoped for. ‘You still think Stella’s the right person for you?’

  ‘Of course!’ He seemed surprised that I had to ask. ‘She always will be. Even though the election has really run away with her. I don’t know what she’s trying to prove, because I loved her the way she was.’

  ‘And how was that?’ I asked, fascinated despite myself.

  He twisted his pen between his fingers. ‘She was funny, you know? She made me laugh. She took my side, no matter what. She knew how I was feeling, without me telling her. But it’s more than that; it’s more than I can ever explain. I knew the first time I saw her that there would never be anyone but her.’

  We fell into silence. I struggled with my Biology exercise until, having destroyed the paper with my eraser, I looked up. ‘Could you please help me? I don’t understand this at all.’

  ‘Of course.’ He sat beside me, blowing the eraser dust away.

  He held his pen funny because he was left-handed, and, although he was smart, his handwriting was spidery and messy. He had a little scar right under his nose and I wanted to reach out and touch the soft curls around his ears. I never noticed these things about Edward.

  I hadn’t thought of myself as competitive before I came to England, but somehow his words spurred me on. Why was he sure that Stella was the only one for him? He’d spent so long lusting after her that he’d never given anyone else a chance.

  So suddenly that I was almost unaware of what I was doing, I kissed him full on the mouth. He froze for a second with a sharp intake of breath, and by the time I heard footsteps it was too late.