“Are you wearing your anklet?”
“Yes.”
“You remember what that signifies, what it means when you wear it?”
“I do, yes.”
“Tell me. I want to be clear that you understand.”
“It means that I will submit to you completely, do as you say without hesitation and trust you.” As I speak the words, I feel their meaning throughout my body. They reaffirm everything between us—the underlying current that brought us together, the desire I have to submit to this man and put my trust in his hands, to give up my control freely and willingly. Emotions surge to the surface and I need to concentrate to hold back my tears.
“Very good, sweetheart.” Seb stands and prowls toward me. Anticipating his next action has me panting on the spot. Strong hands wrap around the back of my neck, tilting my head up to meet his lips. The kiss that I have been missing all week hits me with crushing force. Lips lock with mine and demand my complete submission. I give him everything, my will, my soul, my love, and he takes. This is what I want. This is what we need—to reconnect with each other.
He releases my mouth and steps back, assessing my body from my feet up. The hurried passion from a moment ago is replaced by the calm and controlled Sebastian that has my body quaking.
I relax and force myself not to fidget. Seb has proven that he won’t be rushed and likes to challenge my comfort zone. Finally, he moves towards me and pulls my shirt free from my trousers. His fingers pop the buttons free until my shirt is gaping open.
“Your turn,” he commands. I repeat his actions on him, eager to feel his hard muscles under my hands. I want nothing more than to run my palms up his naked chest, but I know not to do anything he hasn’t already done to me. He didn’t ask me to do that. Once his shirt is in the same state as mine, I drop my hands to my side. His smile tells me I’ve understood his game.
He slides the shirt from my shoulders, peeling it from my skin and skimming my arms with his touch. When the shirt hits the floor, he looks to me. I smile and run my hands under his shirt and down his arms, feeling all the tension in his muscles. My hands take his shirt, and it joins his on the floor.
We move on to our trousers. As Seb’s fingers skim my tummy, my muscles shake, anticipating more of his touch. He pulls the zip down and then slides both hands down and around my bum, rewarding me with a squeeze before the material pools at my feet. I step out of the legs and wait for my cue.
We repeat the game, taking our time with each little reveal until we’re both naked. Our restraint is a palpable pulse between us. Liquid desire seeps from my pussy. I anticipate the crush of our bodies, but it doesn’t come. Seb turns to take a seat on the dining chair. He crooks his finger, beckoning me over to him.
“Now, I want you to straddle my lap. I’ll guide you.” He pulls gently on my hips, urging me forward. As gracefully as I can manage, I step around his thighs and slide onto his lap. He’s higher than I thought and I struggle, feeling off balance. His hands squeeze my hips, seating me directly against his rock-hard cock.
I can only just touch the floor with my toes, balancing on his hips. When I try to move, it’s unbalancing.
“No grinding, Isabel. I want you to stay still and just feel. Understand?”
“Yes, Sebastian,” I whisper. My clit presses up against the base of his cock, enough to tease and ignite all of the nerves around my clit.
He keeps one hand on my hip, securing me, while the other hand is playing with my nipple, gently caressing the tight bud. The touch resonates deep in my belly, and I recognise the building pressure of my orgasm. All of the anticipation from this evening makes me ready to explode in a matter of moments.
Seb replaces his fingers around my nipple with his mouth, sucking and nipping with his teeth. I want to move and satisfy my clit, now begging for attention. My pussy wants to be filled. I try to gain purchase on the floor with my toes to rock into Seb, but I only manage a small movement. Frustration claws at me. A moan escapes my lips. “Not yet.” He bites my nipple hard as my punishment, but it just causes my pussy to weep further. “So responsive. Can you feel how much your body likes my touch, Isabel? How much you enjoy being helpless?”
“Yes. I want to feel you.”
“I know, but you need to learn control and patience.” I struggle against the spike of desire that has overcome me. I’m lost to Seb’s touch. I lean forward, forcing my breasts into his mouth, and I’m rewarded with his own moan of pleasure, deep in the back of his throat. I grind as much as I can, using the very tips of my toes as leverage. My clit throbs and I feel tiny pulses of static spark through my body.
“Enough!” He reaches for the table and grabs a condom. I wiggle down his thighs so he can cover himself before he wraps his arm around me to lift. He pushes the head of his cock through my folds, then pauses, barely breaching my opening before he pulls me back down onto him.
We both moan in pleasure. I immediately want to ride him but I can’t. He’s holding my hips down so I can’t move. All I can do is take him and feel the pulse of him inside me. I shudder and surrender my body. All of the control is in Seb’s hands. Not being able to act allows me to concentrate on just how good his body feels in me. The connection is so rich, so vivid that it fills my soul, consuming me. All of the love and passion I feel for Seb fills my heart and I open myself up to this man, even further than I thought possible.
Everything is heightened—Seb’s touch is electric, his eyes hooded with lust and desire. Being at his mercy is where I find my freedom.
Seb hasn’t moved. His self-control is firmly in place, but my orgasm is building deliciously, albeit too slowly for my liking. “Sebastian, please, I need…”
“Shhh… Just feel me.” He punctuates with a slow, lazy grind of his hips, giving me just enough friction to make me pant. He stills and then repeats, each time moving slowly, controlled. No thrusts, no pumping, just methodically winding me up and opening me to everything he wants.
“Please!” I sob.
“Mine. You’re submitting to me, Isabel.”
“Yes.”
“I give you your pleasure, push you to realise your beauty.”
“Mmm.”
“Does it feel good? Being helpless under my control?”
“Yes. God, yes.”
“Yes, it fucking does!” He finally lets go, pulling me down hard onto his cock while he flexes his hips. My head falls back, completely lost.
“Ahhh!” My stomach starts to quiver.
“Yes,” he growls at me, thrusting harder, driving me up and down in a punishing rhythm which only has one ending.
“Yes. Yes…” I cry as he rips my climax from my body, the sheer ecstasy causing me to lose control. My back arches and my weight shifts wildly in his lap.
“Fuck!” His curse and painful grip signal his own release.
Seb pants in my ear, his breath warm against my flushed, damp skin. I feel open to him in a way I haven’t before. “Did you feel that, Isabel?”
“Yes,” I purr. He lifts us both and I cling to him as he walks us to the bedroom and we collapse into bed. I snuggle into him, wanting to get closer.
“What time do you need to leave?” His question surprises me.
“Leave? I don’t have to, do I?”
“Well, you don’t want to move in. This is what it could be like.” He kisses down my neck and across my collarbone as he murmurs to me. “Do you want this?” His question pulls at my heart. Of course I want this. Tonight has been wonderful—everything I’ve wanted, plus the veil of guilt that used to surround me has finally lifted.
Can I simply jump into moving in with Seb? I’m not divorced. I’m barely separated. I can’t. It’s not right. I need to do this right.
“Tell me what you’re thinking? I can almost hear your brain whirring.”
“It’s not that I don’t want to, Seb, but…”
“But what? I want you in my bed, Izzy. Not just as a date.”
“I don’t want
to mess things up between us, to spoil us. I’ve only just got you back. Are we ready to go from hardly seeing each other and catching slivers of time to living together?”
“Yes, and we won’t. I don’t care that you’re still married. You’re mine. Our story, remember? I want you in my house with me. I’ve waited too long for you already. I couldn’t stay away even when you were still with your husband. Why do you think I’d worry about it now?” I don’t have an answer for him. I’m being stupid. I had an affair with this man and fell in love with him. I should be jumping at this chance. I need somewhere to live, and if I’m honest with myself, the thought of having a happy ending with Seb makes me giddy.
He lifts my arms above my head and stretches me out before him, kissing me softly, reverently.
“You know how I could solve this for you. I could simply order you to move in. You’d obey… Look at me. You’d obey, because you want to please me and make me proud.”
“That’s not fair, Seb. You know… You know that’s what I want.” His peppering of kisses makes it hard to concentrate.
“Isabel, you will move in with me.”
“Please, Seb…”
“That’s not what I want to hear, baby.”
I look up at him, at his beautiful aqua-coloured eyes, and I’m flooded with all of the good we’ve shared so far in our relationship. I should have done things differently from the start, and I don’t want to make a foolish decision that is based on my lust-fuelled emotions rather than what is best for me. Yet a bigger part of me, the part of my heart that belongs to Seb, wants nothing more than to succumb and agree to what we both want.
I light up from within at his praise and pleasure. I’ve been lost without him these past few weeks. By saying yes, I can ease both our woes.
The tension radiating from Seb’s body tells me how anxious he is to hear my next words. I smile up at him and his eyes give way to a slither of doubt at what words may fall from my mouth. My smile spreads and he finally catches my meaning. I give a tiny nod of my head before he crashes my lips to his in a punishing kiss.
The next day, hope protects me from any negative thoughts. After I agreed to move in with Seb, I stayed the night. His presence was the soothing comfort I needed. The decision had been made, the weight lifted from my shoulders. I could move in with Seb, make both of us happy, and silence my doubts.
I convince Seb to drop me back at Jess’s house and he finally relents.
“Are you going to tell her you’re moving in with me?”
“Yes, of course. I agreed, didn’t I?” It hurts to think that Seb doesn’t trust me to see this through.
“Okay then. I’ll see you later. I’ll be happy to pick you up.” I can see his enthusiasm, and his eagerness is heart-warming.
“Thanks, but it’s not necessary. I have a car. I don’t have a lot of my things, just a few possessions from the house. No furniture or anything like that.”
“You don’t need anything else, and I want to help you move your things over.”
“Really, Seb, I can manage on my own. Also, I want to pay towards the bills. I don’t want to feel like I’m taking advantage.”
“Don’t be ridiculous. You’re moving in with me at my invitation. How is that taking advantage?”
“You know what I mean. I’ll pay for food, something. I won’t be kept. I’ve always paid my way.”
From the scowl on his face, he’s far from happy with my response. I get out of the car and offer a tentative wave. I hadn’t considered that being with Seb will mean he’ll want to control areas of life outside of the bedroom. My wish was to submit sexually. What about Seb?
I leave him stewing in the car and head on into the house. “Hi, Jess. I’m home.”
“I’m in the kitchen.” I walk through to find her and Greg sitting at the table with cups in hand. “Morning. How did everything go last night? I didn’t hear from you after you left.”
“Fine, thanks. Sorry I didn’t text you again.”
“Don’t be daft. I’m not your mother. I just wanted to check you’re alright, and I’m guessing you are as Seb’s back.” My face breaks out in a flush in answer to her question. Seb is back. I hear a dull thud and see an innocent-looking Jess staring up at me.
“I’m just going to go and put the TV on.” Greg makes a sharp exit from the kitchen. He’s rubbing his shin. I’m not convinced turning on the TV was his idea.
“And…?” She’s waiting on me to say something more. She drums her fingers on the table in a rhythmical pattern. I busy myself with my own cup before sitting down and joining her.
“And I agreed to move in with him.” I hide behind my cup, the tea too hot to gulp down.
“When? Why? Are you sure? You were looking for flats. You wanted to have something good for you?” Her hands are flying around, animatedly.
“I know, I know. But that’s changed. I do want to move in with him. This is just a little sooner than I had originally planned.”
“Izzy, think about this. Are you ready to jump straight into living with this man? You said you wanted to find your own place, your own independence?”
“I love him and I want us to be together.” I knew that Jess would start with the reasons why this isn’t a good idea, but hearing them makes me want to fight for my happiness with Seb. Starting with moving in with him.
“You’ve sprung this on me. The last I knew you were looking for your own flat. If Seb hadn’t asked you, you would have been perfectly happy to move out on your own. This isn’t about you. It’s about Seb.” She has a point. This is more about Seb wanting me to move in with him. I had wanted to wait.
“Please, Jess. This is what I want. It might not be the ideal timing, but I want to be with him.” She gives me that same look as when I chose Seb’s side over hers in the coffee shop. I’m taking his side over hers again.
“You’ve really made up your mind? You won’t reconsider, or at least give it a few weeks?”
“No, I want us to be together.”
“I do, too. I’m thrilled you’re with him, but I don’t understand why you need to move in with him straight away.”
“Please don’t be mad at me. I’ve loved staying with you and I don’t want to leave in this way.”
“I’m sorry, Izzy. I’m just looking out for you. You had an affair with him, then you broke up and I had to try and drag you out of the house.” She stands up as if she’s indignant about my choice. “He broke you, and it’s been hot and cold since then. You shouldn’t be moving this fast.” She storms out of the room. Her elephant feet thud loudly through the house, followed by her bedroom door slamming shut.
I know that Jess has her own qualms over commitment, and I understand why she’s sceptical. But I love Seb and I want us to be together. I don’t want to negotiate seeing him. I want to wake up with him next to me.
I’ve told her. Izzy
Good. When do you want to move your stuff over? Today or tomorrow? S
Perhaps tomorrow would be best. Can I let you know? Izzy
His home. I play around with the words in my head. Can I make it our home? Will he let me? We haven’t talked about anything like that, but I am happy to move in. Will Jess accept me back if it goes horribly wrong again? Stop thinking like that.
I’m sorry Jess. I love you x
I hope she has her phone with her.
I am getting restless at home. Izzy has been texting me through the day, which helps, but I want her here with me. She didn’t respond to my offer to move in as I hoped she would. I won’t take any more chances with her. Hearing her scared and knowing that Phil can get to her makes me see red. She belongs with me and that’s final. No way I’m letting that arsehole anywhere near her again.
You owe me an explanation. Face to face. Text me your address. Jess
Shit! I should have known that exchanging numbers with Jess has left me open to a best friend attack. But I needed to get those flowers to Izzy for Christmas. Jess is fiercely protective over I
zzy. That was evident at our first meeting at the bar when Izzy, thankfully, agreed to work things out between us.
I type out my response and wait for the inevitable. It seems that Jess will be playing the best friend card on me again. I should be thankful that Izzy has such a good friend looking out for her.
I think back to the Christmas party and to taking the job in Manchester. It was my job to be in control of our relationship, to set the pace and guide Izzy through her sexual awakening. She turned that on its head when I realised I’d fallen for her. Finally, I had found a woman who matched my desires, not just a sub, but a woman who I could foster a relationship with, who I could finally be myself with and have her care for me in return.
That is what I want more than anything else in the world. Izzy is what I want more than anything else in the world.
I pace to the kitchen and pour myself a drink. I’m sure Jess isn’t going to make this easy on me. I need her on my side. I certainly don’t want to be the new boyfriend who steals Izzy away from her friends.
The intercom buzzes sooner than I anticipate and I go to buzz her in. I leave the door open for her and go back to the sitting room. If she thinks she can come here and change my mind about Izzy, she’s sorely mistaken.
“Hello?”
“Come on in,” I call out to her.
She approaches with no hesitation or apprehension. She is serious. Her body is tense and she doesn’t look happy.
“What the hell do you think you’re doing asking Izzy to move in with you?”
The Izzy and Seb Collection: The Evermore Series Books 1, 2 and 2.5 Page 33