“Good girl. Do it.” He’s telling me what to do and giving me the freedom to get lost in him. I eagerly pull the towel from his body, freeing his cock. He’s already thick and hard, and I shift my legs further apart as my own need blossoms.
I lean forward and lick the underside of his head before swirling my tongue around and wrapping my lips over his shaft. My lips press down and I take him to the back of my throat. The low vibration from Seb’s chest spurs me on and I grip the base of his shaft with my hand, squeezing tightly as I work my head up and down. I pump fast and hard, spearing my own throat with his cock. There is nothing pretty about this, it’s raw and sexy. It’s all about me showing Seb how much I still want to please him.
My lips grow hot and saliva seeps down around my hand that still has hold of his cock.
“God, Izzy… Yes. Yes…” I look up through my lashes to see Seb’s expression as he hardens. Salty come pumps down my throat and I suck my lips up and off his shaft.
I sit back on my heels and feel… proud. Warmth radiates from my chest.
“Well done, Izzy.” His sexy smile is the perfect praise.
Seb’s alarm clock jolts me awake. He switches it off before rolling over to me. “Morning, sweetheart.” He kisses me and then makes his way to the bathroom. I slip from the covers and go down to make coffee. Making coffee in the morning used to be a sign of my submission, that I’d be giving everything over to Seb. Now, it’s just part of our routine. I make coffee, we get dressed for work and go our separate ways. We both return at varying times, with a few texts over the course of those hours. We eat and go back to bed. I can see it before my own eyes. The life I was so desperate to leave is starting to play out in front of me again.
The welcome aroma of coffee gives me the kick I need to take the drinks back up to our room. Seb is still wet from his shower, dressed only in a towel. I fight my mind to stay focused, especially since yesterday morning.
I place the cups down and sit back on the bed.
“Will your feelings for me change if we can’t be get back to what we were before?” I blurt it out before I can stop myself.
Seb stops packing and gives me a look that has me lowering my gaze on instinct. I hear him chuckle before the bed dips beside me.
“No, of course not. I want to be with you. I want to marry you, for God’s sake. Don’t you remember that?”
“Even after… everything?”
“Of course. That will never change. You still submit to me, there are just a few things you don’t like anymore, and that’s understandable. Lots of people have triggers. We will work on them and in time they will probably disappear.” His words are just what I need to hear.
“I haven’t forgotten that you proposed. I know I’m not quite divorced yet, but things haven’t changed. I’m not sure I see marriage as something I want. I don’t want you to think this will change overnight for me. You said you wanted someone with the same desires to share in your relationship and match your dominance with submission. I’m not sure I can do all of that right now.”
“We’re working on that. You are submissive, Izzy. It doesn’t just go away. You offered me your submission yesterday. You let me take control. You wanted to take it slowly and we are. Don’t worry yourself into something that isn’t a problem.” He pauses and tilts my head up so I’m looking at him. “Don’t let him win. You listen to me. Understand?”
“Yes, Sir.” I smile at him and he kisses it right off my lips.
Seb’s words from earlier play over and over in my mind. Am I letting Phil win? With the divorce all but finalised, I should be free. I should be celebrating my life and moving on with Seb. Phil did a horrible thing to me, but it could have been worse. Am I giving too much power to one horrible incident?
I force my worries aside and pick open the Everlyn account. I’ve been working on several new campaign options for them and will be presenting my concepts to the direct marketing department of White Cube. If we get them on board, we can pitch the integrated campaign to the client.
For the rest of the day, I focus on work and hold on to the belief in Seb’s words this morning. We are moving forward. We love each other. That is enough.
“Hey, Luke, how’s business?”
“Good, I can’t complain. I don’t usually hear from you outside of Solace, Sebastian. What can I do for you?” He’s right. Although we’ve known each other for several years now, our dealings are usually confined to Solace. However, I know that Luke can help, and right now, I need it.
“I could do with your advice. Izzy’s bastard ex-husband attacked her. He tied her up and all but raped her. She’s doing really well but he’s left her with some triggers. We dropped the D/s to start with and have been reintroducing it slowly over the last week or so.”
“Is he still breathing? The ex, I mean?”
“Only just. I swear, Luke, I would have smashed his skull in if Izzy didn’t stop me.”
“Well, I can understand that, mate, but it wouldn’t have helped you.”
“I know, but it didn’t help me leaving him.”
“Has she talked to anyone? Professionally, I mean?”
“No. And that’s what I was phoning about. Can you recommend someone?”
“That’s the first thing I’d get her to do. I have a female counsellor at the practice. I’ll set it up if you want?”
“Let me talk to her first, but that would be great.”
“Anything else I can help with?”
“Well, I might need your advice on how to work through some of her triggers, but we’re not there yet.”
“You know she’s going to need time, support and patience.”
“And I’m giving all of that to her.”
“Were you in a TPE?”
“We tried it. I wanted to see if it was for us. She struggled with certain elements. Although underneath it all, she wants to please me.”
“Good. And what about now?”
“She misses the D/s as much as me, but is nervous of it. We’re taking it slowly, but it’s good. For a moment I thought she was going to call it quits on us all together.”
“Time and patience. Get her into counselling, though.”
“I will. Thanks, Luke.”
“No worries, mate. It’s been a while since I’ve seen you at Solace. This explains it.”
“We’ll go back. I’d love for you to meet Izzy.”
“Has Natasha?”
“Not yet.”
“Oh, man, I’d get that rectified sooner rather than later. Natasha won’t stay quiet for long.”
“I’ll handle her. I’ve spoken to her, but they will need to meet soon. Thanks again.”
“Let me know about the counselling session, and how the meeting between Natasha and Izzy goes. I’d love to be there.”
I end the call, settled that I have some reassurance to help Izzy.
The look on her face when she asked if I still wanted to be with her nearly stopped my heart. How could she think that? The worst of it is, I don’t know what I have done to make her believe that I don’t love her. I certainly have some work to do to show her that I’m serious, but forcing the proposal isn’t the way to go. She doesn’t trust the idea of marriage—another thing that fucker has been able to ruin.
The last few months have been heart wrenching. I felt completely lost for the two days that she went to stay at Jess’s. I hated every minute even though I knew it was something she needed to do.
Izzy is mine to protect and I let that shit touch her.
Fuck, I don’t want to be stuck in London. I need to be supporting Izzy. I pace around the tiny hotel room and consider calling her. We talked yesterday. She’s throwing herself into her work and I know she’s using it as a crutch. I fire off a text to her before grabbing a drink from the mini-bar. My next conversation is going to require a drink.
I take a seat at the too-small table and call Natasha.
“Hey, stranger. What did I say about leaving it too long?”
&n
bsp; “I know. I’m sorry. There’s been a lot going on, and I’m not the only one who could have called, you know?”
“Fine. So, to what do I owe the pleasure of this call?”
“I thought it was about time that I introduce you to Izzy. I know you want to meet her.”
“Yes, I do. I can come round at the end of the week?”
“No, I was thinking maybe Sunday?”
“Sunday? What, for family lunch?”
“How about brunch?”
“I’ll be there at 11:00?”
“Perfect. There’s a few other things you need to know, though.”
“Sebastian, why do I get the impression that I’m not going to like this?” I take a swallow of the too-small drink in front of me before gathering the information I need to tell Natasha.
“Izzy’s got her decree nisi, so the divorce is nearly done.”
“That’s great.”
“But her ex-husband attacked her. He tied her down and assaulted her.” Just saying the words rips chunks out of my soul. Natasha is suddenly quiet on the other end of the line. She knows how I feel about Izzy and how this will have affected me.
“How bad?” Her voice is soft and I can hear the concern for us both.
“Bad enough. Bad enough that Izzy is struggling with letting me dominate her.”
“That’s understandable, Seb.”
“I know that, and I’m not rushing things.”
“Good. Has she spoken to a counsellor?”
“No, but I’m going to send her to one that Luke has recommended.”
“Well, that’s a start. I’m sorry, Seb. Is the bastard in prison?”
“No.” I stand and pace around the room. Talking all of this through is becoming unbearable while I’m away from her.
“Seb? Are you still there?”
“Yes, I’m here.”
“Good. Did you want to talk to me about anything else? I’m not sure what help I can be, but I’m here if you need anything.”
“Thank you. I think it’s time that you two meet. She doesn’t know a lot about you.” I try to think back to what I’ve actually told Izzy about Natasha and draw a blank. “So, I’ll see you Sunday and we can talk some more?”
“Are you sure we can’t meet sooner?” She has a pleading tone in her voice and it makes me worry what she’s thinking.
“No, I’m away at the moment, so Sunday will be fine.”
I disconnect the call and mentally start to prepare for Sunday.
It’s rare that I get to finish work early and make it home before Seb, especially on a Friday. But with him having been away for most of the week, I want to have some time with him. I have stacked the fridge up with all our favourite ingredients for Seb to whip something up for us.
I’ve spent most of the week thinking about what Seb said before he left. He’s right. I need to move past the fear. Seb has all of my trust. From the very beginning, I’ve trusted him with my body and my heart. Now should be no different.
The doorbell rings and draws me from my melancholy thoughts. It’s nearly six and Seb should be getting home shortly. I open the door to an intimidatingly beautiful woman. Taller than my short five foot three inches, she towers over me in her gorgeous black boots. Sprayed-on jeans make her legs look a mile long, and her raven hair tumbles in bouncy curls to her shoulders. Whoever she is, I want to scratch her eyes out for just standing on my doorstep.
“You must be Isabel. Is Seb home?”
“No, he’s not home. Can I help you with something?”
“Well, I came to introduce myself, although I was hoping Seb would be here too. I’m Natasha. May I come in?” She walks through and takes a seat in the kitchen as if it is perfectly normal behaviour.
“Um, sure.” I trail after her and wish I had the confidence to match hers.
She sits down and looks over me. I’m suddenly under her spotlight and I feel decidedly uncomfortable. She’s acting as if she has the upper hand, and she does.
Fortunately, I hear the front door and I leave Natasha in the kitchen while I head off to Seb.
“Hey, Izzy. I wasn’t expecting you home early. It’s a nice surprise. What’s wrong?”
“Natasha is here to see you.” His face flashes with annoyance before he covers it back up.
“Seb, is that you?” Her sing-song voice trills down the hallway and I see Seb’s body tense in recognition.
Seb places his hand at the base of my spine and leads me into the kitchen. Natasha is sitting at the table, displaying no urgency to get up to greet Seb.
“Natasha, this is an unexpected visit.” Seb’s words tell me that he’s as surprised to see her as I am. It’s a relief.
“I’m sorry for the intrusion, Sebastian.” She tilts her head to the side before turning to face me. “Isabel, Seb’s an old friend and he’s told me a lot about you. It’s a pleasure to meet you.” She offers me her hand and I shake it politely.
“Natasha.” We shake hands and it abates my initial frosty feelings towards her.
“Izzy, would you open a bottle of wine while I talk with Natasha. Natasha, shall we?” He gestures for her to leave the kitchen and I’m left wondering what this is all about. I grab three glasses and pour the Semillon that’s in the fridge. I carry them through, eager to hear what they are discussing. There is an air to Natasha that reminds me of Seb, the way he carries himself. She’s beautiful and full of confidence in a powerful way that I don’t often see in a woman.
They are standing in the middle of the room, but they don’t appear to be speaking to one another. More like glaring at each other. I set my glass down on the table before offering Seb and Natasha theirs.
“Thank you, Izzy.” Natasha smiles again, and this time there is a softness there that I didn’t see before. I take that as my opportunity to get to know her as she seems to want to know me.
“So, Natasha, how do you know Seb? Do you work with him?” She looks at Seb for a moment, and he nods as if agreeing to something, before she answers me.
“We met at University originally, but it wasn’t until a few years later that we became… friends. We share a common interest. I think you’ve seen Solace. Well, I introduced him to it.”
Her words turn my stomach to stone. Solace. She’s been with Seb?
“Oh dear, Izzy, no. Not like that.” I look at her and I see concern on her face. “We have never been more than friends. Seb likes his women submissive. And I am anything but.” She takes a sip of her wine and smiles at Seb. He hasn’t said anything during her explanation, nor has he set her right.
“So, you’re a…”
“A Domme, Izzy. I like to be in charge, just as Seb does.” That explains the feeling I got around her, then.
Seb pulls me against his side.
“Was there anything else you wanted, Natasha?” Seb is polite, but I can hear the annoyance beneath the surface.
“There was one thing. It’s something Izzy can do. Would you excuse us, Seb? Just for a moment? And then I’ll leave you to your evening.”
“Natasha…” It’s a warning between the two of them, and again I’m reduced to the odd one out in the room.
“It’s fine, Seb. I’d be happy to talk to her.” My smile is genuine, clocking this up to another part of him that I’m getting to know. If she’s known him since University she’ll certainly be able to fill in the gaps I may have.
“I’ll start dinner, then. Natasha, I’m sure I’ll see you soon. Perhaps you’d like to call first next time.”
“Now where’s the fun in that?” She gives him a wicked glare, coupled with a perfect smile. If I was that sassy with Seb, I know I’d be in for a punishment. They lock eyes and I wait for one of them to back down. The tension is thick and it sends my pulse racing, nervous of what’s going to happen. Finally, Seb turns to kiss my cheek and disappears into the kitchen. Oh boy!
“What can I help you with, Natasha?”
“Well, I want us to be friends. Understand that I’ve k
nown Seb a great deal longer than you, and despite my best efforts, he’s never found the woman for him. Until now. I’m curious, in a good way. Seb has taken a rather long time to introduce us. Plus, I like messing with him when I can.” Her smile lights up her face and I am more than relieved that she isn’t interested in Seb. She’s stunning.
“Seb told me you were his perfect partner, that you were it for him.” Her confirmation fills me with joy. “He’s also told me what happened, and I’m sorry you had to go through that. Remember, though, that being submissive isn’t something that will disappear. It’s part of you.” I try to stand tall against her scrutiny, but her presence has the same effect on me as Seb’s does when he wants to dominate me. My eyes slink away from hers.
She takes a step towards me, encroaching on my space. I feel her hand on my shoulder, offering reassurance, I think. “Don’t let it ruin what you have with Seb. This is new to him. You need to help him as much as he is supporting you.” I look back at her and see that she is genuinely concerned.
“If you need to talk to someone, you can always call me.” She pulls a card out of her purse and hands it to me before turning on her booted heel and heading for the door.
I sit on the sofa and reach for my wine. I take two big gulps to settle my nerves. She’s been perfectly nice, but it doesn’t dispel how unsettled I feel.
“Izzy, are you alright?” Seb comes to sit beside me and wraps an arm around my shoulder. I lean back against him, happy to be cuddled.
“I’m fine. She just wants to be friends.”
“What did she say? I’m sorry if she made you uncomfortable. She has that ability.”
“She didn’t. Well, maybe a little. She didn’t say anything I didn’t know already.” I turn and curl my legs underneath me. “I wanted to spend some time with you tonight, just us.”
“I was hoping you’d say that.” He finally smiles and some of the tension begins to loosen.
“Will you help me? I do want to submit to you. Sexually. I know we’re taking things slowly, but I need… more. I don’t want to be afraid that you’ll do something and I’ll get hit with a memory.”
The Izzy and Seb Collection: The Evermore Series Books 1, 2 and 2.5 Page 48