by Cora Brent
“That’s good. After all, what’s Emblem without the Gentrys?”
Conway leaned back in his seat and frowned. “It’s still Emblem.”
All this talk about our hometown seemed to have shifted something in the air between us. I wondered whether I ought to change the subject but there were still some things we needed to get out into the open.
I took a sip of water and set the glass down. Conway looked like he was waiting patiently for me to say something.
“I got a letter from Stone,” I said quietly, lowering my eyes. “Years ago, I mean. When he was in prison. He wanted to tell his side of the story, that it had really been an accident and not a reckless drag race.”
“I know.”
I looked up. “He told you already?”
Conway nodded. “Not at the time. In fact you might not know this but we actually didn’t see or speak to one another for four years.” He grimaced. “It was my fault. I thought he and Erin had…”
Conway’s voice kind of died and his shoulders dropped. I already knew this part. I’d heard the rumors and Stone had explained it in his long ago letter. Nonetheless I felt fury building in defense of my friend.
“She would NEVER!” I shouted, banging my fist on the table.
A few nearby people glanced over in surprise.
Conway looked stunned. “Roslyn.”
I stood, glaring down at him. “Damn you, Erin would NEVER have betrayed you. “
Shame was written all over his face.
“I know that,” he said. “I do. I should have known it then but I found the two of them together and I just couldn’t think so I ran. From her. From him. A few hours later it was too late and at least ten thousand times over the last six years I’ve wondered how things would have gone if I hadn’t run from them.” He screwed his eyes shut and when he opened them I saw how he blinked back tears. “I loved that girl.”
I slid miserably back into my seat. “I did too. She was the best friend I’ll ever have.”
“I still miss her.”
“So do I. Always will.”
He sighed. “I have no doubt. You know, I used to think she had some guardian angel who visited and left those little gifts at her grave, but now I know it’s you.” He reached over so suddenly I couldn’t even react and touched the chain around my neck. A strange expression touched his lips but he didn’t look unhappy, only wistful. “I remember when she bought this.”
“It’s you.”
That’s what he’d meant when he’d uttered those words, right before ending a moment of powerful passion and retreating from me. He’d seen this, the crystal Erin had given me for my seventeenth birthday only weeks before her death and suddenly he had remembered being young, being in love, being destroyed.
The waitress returned with the pepperoni pizza we ordered. She looked curiously at our twin faces of misery and scurried away, probably figuring we were in the midst of a messy breakup or something.
I took a slice of pizza even though I wasn’t all that hungry anymore. A few drops of grease spilled onto the white china plate and I mopped it up with a napkin. I needed to ask a question. A question I wasn’t sure I wanted to hear the answer to.
He was watching me and I held his gaze. No matter what his answer was it was best to face it honestly and face it now.
“Is that all there is between us, Conway? Some grim attachment to the past, a way to reclaim something we’ve both lost?”
He was shaking his head before I even finished speaking. He gently touched my hand, never looking away.
“No,” he said firmly. “That’s not all there is between us. I know it, and so do you.”
Conway was right. I already did know. The connection between us was both inexplicable and substantial. Maybe the initial spark had been born from our old common ground but it wasn’t limited to that. Otherwise I would have had a much easier time pushing him out of my mind these past two weeks.
Conway pressed my hand to his lips. “I’m sorry,” he said.
“For what?”
“For not calling.”
“Oh. Well in that case, I’m sorry for not calling too.” I paused. “I’m going to make feminists all over the world right now cringe and admit that I thought about you way too often and even considered taking a stroll past your hotel in the hopes I’d accidentally run into you.”
He smiled. “What’s the male equivalent of a feminist?”
“I don’t think there is one.”
“Well, then I guess I don’t have to worry about disappointing anyone when I admit that I haven’t been able to look at another woman for the last two weeks. And you know what? I don’t even want to.”
I was glad to be sitting down because hearing him say those words made me dangerously dizzy. When he’d kissed my hand I’d felt that touch in places I couldn’t acknowledge in public. And the look he was giving me now…just intensity on top of intensity. I could hardly breathe in the face of it.
“What now?” I asked.
He grabbed a slice of pizza and slid it onto his plate. “Now we should eat this before it gets cold.”
I laughed and sprinkled a generous dose of parmesan cheese over my pizza before taking a bite. The conversation turned to lighter topics. I learned that Conway had known Jackson for years and thought very highly of him. He made me promise not to tell Emily that his friend was wild about her and I snorted that Emily had likely already guessed that. He regaled me with tales of his other wild friends too, although I got the feeling he was sharply downplaying whatever role he had in their various exploits. I wasn’t fooled. I had guessed from that first party that Conway had evolved into a full blown bad boy and although that might be true, he wasn’t all bad boy. Not unless they were all funny, smart, and thoughtful and I’d just never gotten close enough to find out.
We were on our second pizza when my phone buzzed. I glanced at it and quickly put it down.
“I don’t mind if you take a call,” Conway said as he watched my every move. “Unless it’s some dude.”
“So what if it is?”
He grinned. “Then I mind very much. The only demand I have is that when you’re with me, you think of me as the only man on earth.”
I rolled my eyes. “Well that’s not unreasonable at all.” My phone had stopped buzzing by this point. I shrugged. “It was just my ex. He texted me earlier and I didn’t answer so he’s just being pushy.”
“Oh, an ex.” Conway put a finger to his lips and pretended to think. “Would that be Caleb by any chance?”
My face got hot as I recalled the misdial that had kicked off the night. Conway was sitting there with that old arrogant smirk on his face. He probably didn’t even believe it had been an accident when I called him. Actually, I wasn’t even sure that I believed it had really been an accident.
“Do you still like him?” he asked suddenly.
“Who, Caleb?”
“No. Clint Eastwood.”
I mulled that over. “He’s all right. But I stayed with him for too long. By the time I broke it off I’d known for a long time there wasn’t much chemistry between us and there’s no substitute for chemistry. Where are you going?”
While I was talking Conway had slid out of his seat and was now standing beside the table. Instead of answering my question he reached down, pulled me to him until we were both standing with our bodies pressed together and before I had a chance to ask anything else he kissed me. Hard. Furious. A storm that broke without warning and changed everything it touched.
His hand was in my hair, tugging it free of the loose bun I’d tied up hours earlier. Another hand slipped underneath my shirt and stroked the small of my back. My own arms automatically slipped around his shoulders to bring him closer as our mouths took revenge on each other. When he rolled his hips I could feel every bit of the hard urgency just on the other side and I almost moaned.
Dimly I was aware that this sudden make out session wasn’t occurring in private but I didn’t ca
re.
After a few more seconds Conway broke away and gave me a knowing look while I tried to remember how to stand up straight all on my own.
“You mean chemistry like that?” he said.
“Yeah,” I whispered, trying to control my own panting. “Like that.”
He plucked some green out of his wallet and tossed it down on the table. “I think we’re done with this place. Let’s go.”
If I’d protested he would have politely stayed but I kind of liked the way he put a firm arm around my waist and led me out of the restaurant. Once we were outside I half expected he would lead me to the nearest dark corner and continue what we’d started but he didn’t. He whistled lightly as he held my hand while the lights of the mall began to dim.
“Looks like they’re shutting down for the night,” he said.
I glanced at my watch. “We were in there a long time. I didn’t realize it was so late.”
“Come on, I’m parked out this way.”
“Wait.” I pulled on his hand.
He stopped and faced me. “What?”
“Where are we going?”
“That’s up to you, Roslyn. Remember, I told you I’d take you anywhere you wanted to go tonight and the night is pretty far from over.”
“I don’t know where I want to go.”
Liar liar. I know where I want to go. And I know exactly what I want to do there.
Conway stared at me for a few seconds and then a slow smile spread across his face. I cursed myself for being so easy to see through. If he had any doubts about my thoughts, that wanton response to our face-sucking assembly in the restaurant had surely ended them.
He took a step forward and cupped my face in his strong hands. “So does this mean you’re leaving our next destination up to me?”
“Why, do you have an idea where you want to take me?”
A leading question if ever there was one.
His thumb grazed my lips. “Oh honey, I know exactly where I want to take you.”
We stared at each other, breathing heavily as the meaning behind those words sunk in.
“Then take me there, Conway.” I impulsively kissed him, lingering for an erotic second as our tongues touched.
He shifted and closed his eyes, letting out a strange noise in the back of his throat. Then he led me over to a beautiful blue sports car. I didn’t know much about cars but I was impressed.
“This can’t be yours,” I said, running my fingers along the smooth surface of the hood.
He opened the door. “I can show you some paperwork that says it is. It’s there in the glove compartment.”
“Wait, what about my car?”
“It’ll be all right overnight. They don’t tow here unless you leave it more than twenty four hours.”
“And what if you’re wrong?”
He shrugged. “If I’m wrong I’ll do whatever it takes to get your car back or hand you a new one.”
The inside of his car smelled like beer and cigar smoke. Conway climbed into the driver’s seat, told me to put my seatbelt on and drove out of the mall.
I twisted around in confusion when he got on the freeway. “I think you took the wrong ramp.”
“No I didn’t.”
“Phoenix is the other way, Con.”
“We’re not going back to Phoenix, Roe.”
I frowned. I’d just assumed we were going back to his room at the hotel. Or else maybe my apartment. But we weren’t heading in that direction at all.
I crossed my arms. “Okay, no bullshit, you need to tell me where we’re going right now.”
He looked over and gave me a boyish, happy smile. “I wanted it to be a surprise. I’m taking you to the beach.”
“What beach? We’re in a landlocked desert. There are no beaches for three hundred miles.”
“Closer to four hundred where we’re headed. It’s this quiet beach outside San Diego. If I’m timing it right though, we should be there in time to watch the sun come up.”
My mouth fell open. “You’re serious.”
“Not often, but this time I am.”
“You’re really going to drive all night just to take me to the beach.”
“Yes.”
“Conway, I can’t just suddenly leave the state like this.”
“Sure you can. Tomorrow is Saturday and you’ve already said you don’t work weekends.”
I looked out the window, at all the inky black miles of highway that lay ahead.
“Why?” I asked quietly.
He touched my cheek. He didn’t answer until I faced him. “Because you love oceans,” he said simply. “You told me so, remember?”
“I remember,” I mumbled. I tried to think of something else to say but came up short.
Conway reached into the backseat and pulled out a blanket. Apparently he slept in his car now and then. He told me that I should take a nap if I was tired. The drive to San Diego would take about six hours but we should make it there before sunrise.
Fifteen or twenty minutes passed and finally I unfolded the blanket. It smelled a little musty but was soft. I sneaked a glance over at Conway. He had one hand lightly on the wheel and the other hand was loosely on his lips as if he was deep in thought. As the shadows played across his profile, the sheer strong-jawed beauty of him almost took my breath away.
“Conway?” I said.
“Yeah?”
I unbuckled my seatbelt, leaned over and kissed his cheek. “Thank you.”
He didn’t answer and I didn’t look his way as I buckled back in and tucked the blanket around myself.
Finding a bed so we could screw the night away was one thing and even though it would have been incredible and mind blowing and amazing it wasn’t this.
This was something entirely different.
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
CONWAY
I hadn’t planned on this road trip but then again I’m not exactly a planner. As we were hanging out at the pizzeria my dick kept interfering with my more chivalrous side and I couldn’t help but wonder about the best way to get Roslyn naked even as I wanted to prove to her that I didn’t have a one track mind.
Then there was that kiss.
Holy fuck, that kiss.
I swear I would have traded three years worth of orgasms for that kiss. All the most demanding parts of my anatomy were shrieking ‘Take her, take her, take her!!” and I was dying to listen. Her damn sloppy t-shirt and yoga pants were driving me as wild as if she was wearing a black corset and fishnets, especially because I already knew what waited underneath. I wanted to violate all of it in sixty nine creatively dirty ways.
The problem was, I’d spent too many hours lying awake in my bed and thinking about the tranquil pleasure of holding her in my arms. Sex alone wouldn’t get me back there.
We’d been on the road for almost two hours. Roslyn had been sleeping for some time but she stirred and opened her eyes as we passed the Imperial Sand Dunes along I-8. It was after two a.m. and the dunes weren’t visible in the dark. I only knew they were there because of the road signs and because I’ve seen them in the daylight before.
Roslyn yawned. “Aren’t you tired?”
“Nope. I’m a night owl by nature.”
She gave me a look. “Funny, I remember you climbing out of bed at sunrise and going for a run.”
“Oh, that. That was a special occasion.”
“An interesting choice of words.”
“Well, let me try again.” I cleared my throat and adopted a professorial tone. “When I awoke in a tangle of bedclothes and saw a beautiful woman lying beside me I desperately wanted to fuck her into oblivion. But since she was still unconscious I did the gentlemanly thing and worked that energy out elsewhere.”
“Temporarily,” she said. She was smiling though. “Or did you forget?”
“I don’t forget things like a hot, wild fuck against my bedroom wall.”
She was silent for a long time. I thought she might have dropped off to sleep
again but when I looked over I saw her staring solemnly at her lap and playing with the hem of her shirt.
“In case you were wondering,” she said quietly, “I don’t regularly do that. Have one night stands I mean. Not that I have regrets but it was totally out of the ordinary for me. And I’m always far more responsible when it comes to using protection.”
That was no surprise. I could feel her waiting for the same reassurance from me. However, I could only give her part of what she was looking for.
“Well,” I said, trying to choose my words carefully, “I want to be honest with you, so I’ll say that screwing around casually is not out of the ordinary for me.”
She tensed and nodded tightly. “I understand.”
I touched her knee. “But I swear I always use condoms. And without going into a litany of medical details let’s just say I can assure you that you’ve got nothing to worry about.”
“I’m not on birth control, Con.”
The words hit me like a freight train and I had to struggle to keep the steering wheel straight. Roslyn must have seen the alarm in my face.
“Oh god, no. Conway, I didn’t mean that I was pregnant or anything. I took the morning after pill.”
I exhaled with relief. “That’s good,” I said weakly.
She giggled. “I scared the shit out of you, huh?”
“No big deal. Just a year or two shaved off my life.”
Roslyn chuckled and stared dreamily out at the darkness. She hadn’t commented on my admission that I was no choirboy and there was nothing I could do about all the notches in my belt. But it really bugged me that she might just think she was another one of them.
She looked over when I cleared my throat.
“Listen, what happened between me and you last time, it hasn’t been like that with anyone else.”
“Con, you don’t owe me any explanations.”
“That’s the thing, honey. I think I do because if you happen to find yourself in a conversation with anyone who’s been around me these last few years you’ll hear about it. I don’t know what we can call this thing but I want to prove to you that it’s not about a score.”
She touched my arm. “You are proving that, Conway. You’re proving that tonight.”