Every Time It Rains

by Nikita Singh

  ‘Lailaaa,’ JD groaned. ‘Meet me halfway here.’

  Laila laughed and instinctively placed her hand on his. ‘Yes. Yes, I’m good and we’re good and I’m still interested or whatever.’

  JD looked down at their hands and clutched hers tighter. ‘And look at that—there’s hand-holding and everything. We’re legit.’

  ‘Yep. We don’t play around.’

  They laughed, the tension that existed between them ever since their first kiss finally dissipating. They sat by the fountain a little longer, holding hands, talking occasionally but were mostly quietly. They got up and walked back to the club when Laila got a text from Maahi asking where she was.

  ‘Question,’ JD said, as they retraced their steps.

  ‘Mmm?’

  ‘Are we counting this as a real date? If yes, may I kiss you now? If no, I shall wait until the real date.’

  ‘You will wait until the real date.’ Laila grinned as they went back into the club and joined the others, JD’s hand resting lightly on her lower back.

  14

  THE PLAYERS

  The rest of the week went by at breakneck speed, with both Laila and Maahi delegating their baking responsibilities fully to Javed and Ram, while they tried to learn everything there was to learn about scaling up the production without compromising quality—and fast. JD had scheduled their meeting with Roast House for Friday, which meant they had to be one of the last bakeries presenting their scaling-up plan, assuming the rest of the meetings were happening through the week. This was good, since it gave Cookies + Cupcakes a few extra days to prepare, and they needed all the time they could get.

  Laila closed her laptop, stepped out of her tiny office and into the dark bakery, which Aparna had closed before leaving an hour ago. She left the lights off, preferring the occasional beams from the street flowing in through the shop windows. The day had been cloudy, slowing down everything they were doing. Even though everyone on the team had their own mountain of work to do, they’d gone about it in a relaxed manner, as if there was no rush.

  Laila sat on the windowsill and rubbed her face with both her palms. They needed Roast House to choose them. And for that to happen, they needed to be good enough to leave Roast House with no other choice. She was doing everything she could think of, and so was Maahi, but every time she paused to do other things, she started worrying about the meeting and had to go right back to preparing for it. Knowing that she was doing everything she could, preparing, over-preparing—it was the only thing that kept her calm.

  Maahi had decided to spend the weekend with her parents in Vaishali, so Laila was going to have the house to herself. She hadn’t spent any time there alone ever since her mother had gone to Patna, and she wasn’t looking forward to the prospect. The sun had set and the clouds finally broke out into rain as Laila watched. She felt restless, as if there was a void—she was missing something, or someone. She didn’t want to be alone. She called her mother, watching the rain through the windows.

  Maa picked up the phone after eight long rings and said hello much louder than necessary in a sing-song voice.

  ‘Pranaam maate. Kaisi hain aap?’ Laila said, her lips curling into a smile.

  Maa laughed at Laila’s old-fashioned, formal address. ‘Khush raho, beta. I had left the phone in the kitchen and was sure the call would disconnect by the time I got there.’

  ‘Oh, is that why it took you so long to pick up? I thought you just didn’t want to talk to me.’

  ‘Woh bhi hai.’ Maa laughed again before asking, ‘What’s going on?’

  Laila sighed. ‘Nothing much. We have that big meeting coming up next week, so we’re preparing furiously.’

  ‘Accha, haan. How’s that going?’

  ‘Good, good. I think we know everything we need to know in theory, but we need to go out and meet people who have factories and see it in practice now.’

  ‘I’m sure it’ll all go well,’ Maa said. Not that she had any way to actually be sure of that, but her confidence in her daughter made Laila smile.

  ‘Ji, maate,’ Laila said. ‘How’s everything in Patna?’

  ‘Your nana refuses to stop eating fatty food,’ Maa said, and Laila could hear her grandfather in the background, defending himself. Her mother went on to tell Laila about how he went on a walk religiously every morning as a way of taking care of his health, but ended up having samosas and jalebis with his friends after the healthy walk. She put the call on speaker and Laila advised Nana that if he had to do things he wasn’t allowed to, he should at least do a better job at hiding it, at which point Maa and Nani exploded at Laila, accusing her of enabling her grandpa’s bad behaviour. They argued good-naturedly about that, and then Maa told them about one of her students who skipped school without permission but was caught because of his several posts on Instagram documenting his day out.

  Laila felt nostalgic about her family. Being on the phone with all of them together, laughing about small things made her want to be with them physically. She had been thinking about visiting them sometime soon—maybe after the meeting—if everything went well. In fact, if things didn’t go well, it’d make even more sense for her to take a break and go to Patna for a while. She hoped it wouldn’t be raining there as she looked out of the window, now splattered with tiny raindrops.

  She had mixed feelings about rain. It definitely made her feel lazy, and her days ended up being less productive, but it wasn’t just that. It also made her feel … less than whole. Like there was something missing in her life. The wet mud, the jammed roads and the filth in general annoyed her, but what made her feel even more agitated was the emptiness she felt deep within herself when she smelled the fresh smell of the earth after the rain. When it stopped raining and the world became quiet, the still trees and clean leaves bothered her. Rain tended to put her on the edge and made her gloomy, and she didn’t know why.

  ‘JD … ?’ Laila muttered, spotting him outside. He was with a few other people, who Laila figured were his friends. As she watched the group walk away, JD suddenly stopped, as if realizing or remembering something. He turned around and looked straight at Laila, who now stood by the door, her foot holding it open. She waved.

  JD grinned widely, like a child just given some chocolate, and said something to his friends, who departed promptly, but not before casting a glance towards Laila. JD walked to her, his long legs covering the distance between them in five steps.

  ‘Laila!’ he exclaimed cheerfully when he reached her, pulling her into a bear hug as if it was the most obvious thing to do.

  ‘Hi,’ Laila said in a more normal tone. She spoke into the phone, ‘Maa, I’ll call you later, okay?’

  ‘Who is it?’ Maa asked curiously, dropping the conversation about social media’s impact on the new generation.

  ‘It’s just … someone I know from work,’ Laila said. She didn’t miss JD’s raised eyebrow. ‘Bye now.’

  ‘Bye, beta,’ Maa said and hung up.

  ‘Just someone from work?’ JD questioned as soon as Laila was off the phone.

  ‘Did I hurt your feelings?’

  ‘Badly.’ JD rested his hands on top of each other over his supposedly aching heart. ‘I might need surgery.’

  ‘Yeah, yeah,’ Laila said. ‘I broke your heart. Get used to it.’

  ‘Get used to it? Are you implying that you’re going to be doing this repeatedly, which would then imply that you intend to remain a part of my life for an extended period of time?’

  ‘No, I just meant get over it.’

  ‘Argh,’ JD said, his hands flying back to his chest. ‘You did it again!’

  Laila laughed. How was he so upbeat and dramatic all the time? How did he even have the energy to be so happy? Especially after this stupid rain! Everything around them was all clean and beautiful and annoying. But somehow, Laila noticed the fresh air didn’t bother her as much as usual as she breathed it in, standing outside Cookies + Cupcakes with JD. ‘What are you up to?’ she asked.<
br />
  ‘Friend’s birthday, another friend visiting for the weekend, Friday night—the usual,’ JD said. He looked behind her at the dark bakery suspiciously and asked, ‘What are you up to?’

  ‘Going over plans for the meeting.’

  ‘Alone?’

  ‘Yep.’

  ‘Where’s Maahi?’

  ‘She’s staying with her family for the weekend so she had to leave early. Her parents live all the way in Vaishali,’ Laila said.

  ‘And so you decided to sit in the dark all by yourself?’

  ‘I’m not sitting in the dark. I was working in the office on my laptop, which has a screen and a keyboard, both of which have backlights. And there’s a lamp on. I came out to the bakery to call my mom and now I’m here talking to you. Stop being so dramatic!’

  ‘Okay, okay!’

  Laila smirked, tilting her head. She liked that he was so tall. It was a big part of his personality—the tall, lanky dude with the unruly curly hair and constant grin. That grin. Did it ever disappear? Did he grin professionally, all day, all night long? Laila realized that she had been staring and quickly looked away. ‘Go back to your friend’s thing.’ She waved a hand in the general direction of where his friends had gone.

  ‘Why, you don’t want me to join you in your dark place?’

  ‘It’s not a …’ Laila began heatedly, then abruptly let it go. She said, in a much calmer tone, ‘You know what? Come. Please sit with me in my dark place.’ She moved the foot that had been keeping the glass door open and stepped back inside the bakery.

  JD followed her quickly before the door shut singing, ‘Sweet.’

  ‘Don’t even think about it,’ Laila said.

  ‘I don’t know what you mean. I’m not thinking about anything.’

  ‘Really? You and I, in the dark, alone—and you’re not thinking anything?’

  ‘That’s right.’

  Laila snorted. ‘Would you like something to eat? Maahi baked these fancy cupcakes for tomorrow with beer and almonds in them. They taste kind of funny.’

  ‘Wow.’ JD seemed very interested as he peered at the counter in the dark. ‘You guys do such crazy things. Very innovative and unusual.’

  ‘That’s kind of our USP, which you should know since you’re planning to buy from us,’ Laila said, and then added, ‘hopefully, if things go well.’

  ‘That is correct. If that happens, I think it’d make sense for Roast House to pick out a few of your wacky flavours for their menu. I mean, as opposed to the classics.’

  Laila frowned, thinking about it. ‘Not that it matters right now, for the next stage. You said the meeting is about scale up, more than anything else, right?’

  ‘Yep. But you could talk about putting beer and what not in your food at the end, to wrap up. Beer’s always a good selling point,’ JD said. He finished examining the counter display and turned to Laila. The lights outside in Hauz Khas Village were brighter now that the rain had stopped and Friday night crowd had begun pouring in, and Laila could see JD’s inquisitive eyes clearly.

  ‘Noted,’ she said. JD had stopped looking around the bakery curiously and was now looking singularly at Laila, who suddenly felt nervous, though in a good way. She cleared her throat and waved towards the chairs to divert his attention. ‘Want to sit? I’ll get you some cupcakes.’

  JD sat down at the table by the window, which Laila thought was everyone’s favourite table, since it was the first one to be occupied every morning and was barely ever empty. ‘Just to be clear—this is still not a date?’

  ‘That is correct,’ Laila said, bending to pick out cupcakes from behind the counter. She placed them on a plate and walked back to the table. ‘Still not a date.’

  ‘And I need still save my kiss for the date?’

  ‘That is correct too.’

  ‘Damn it.’ JD looked like a kid denied sweets, which was ironic, since at that very moment, he bent forward and picked up a cupcake. He bit into it and spoke with his mouth full, ‘So, do you sit in the dark often?’

  Laila sat next to him so they were both facing the bustling street. She pointed to the young crowd of people outside and said, ‘Yeah, I’m that weirdo that sits in the dark and people-watches.’

  ‘Do you also serial kill?’

  ‘Not yet. But maybe someday, you know? Why limit yourself?’

  ‘You speak the truth,’ JD nodded intelligently. Shoving the rest of the cupcake in his mouth, he said, ‘Also, this cupcake is really good. I can taste the beer but it kind of tastes like … you know when you leave a half-empty bottle of beer outside and fall asleep and then wake up in the morning and it’s all warm and bitter and disgusting but you drink it anyway and love it regardless?’

  ‘That’s what it tastes like?’

  ‘Almost exactly.’ JD seemed proud of himself for having nailed down the exact experience required to achieve that particular flavour.

  ‘God. That hardly sounds like a compliment!’ Laila laughed. ‘But I’ll pass it along. Maahi loves disgusting things, so she might appreciate it.’

  ‘Do you also love disgusting things?’

  ‘I’ve come to love this one disgusting cocktail thing that Maahi makes. But it has tequila in it, and it’s hard to hate anything with tequila in it.’

  ‘Yeah? I wouldn’t know. You’ll have to show me sometime. I mostly stick to beer since my friend is still trying to fatten me up. Also, I’m kind of a lightweight, so hard liquor’s not a good idea for me,’ JD confessed sheepishly.

  ‘You’ll be fine. Always remember—quality over quantity.’

  ‘Where quality is usually disgusting?’

  ‘Exactly. I love all things disgusting,’ Laila said.

  ‘All right, ma’am. I look forward to tasting this disgusting cocktail!’ JD chuckled. He pushed his chair at an angle so that he was looking at the street and Laila at the same time. He then sat back quietly and just looked at her.

  ‘Weirdo,’ Laila muttered. She grew strangely warm under his gaze and decided to ignore him and look out at the street instead, very much aware that his eyes were darting towards her every few seconds. As much as she had unresolved issues with the rain, she had to admit that it had left Delhi more beautiful. Everything was cleaner—the buildings, the trees, the roads—and fitted right in with the excited people who had clearly dressed up for the night. There were bright colours everywhere, from clothes to string lights to walls. Sitting next to JD and watching the after-effects of the rain, Laila didn’t feel so restless and hollow anymore. She suddenly didn’t mind the rain at all.

  ‘So, what’s your story?’ JD asked.

  She turned towards him to find him looking out and watching people too. She turned back to resume her people-watching. ‘What’s yours?’

  ‘Unfair! I asked you first.’

  Laila glanced at him again, but he continued facing the window. She could tell that he knew she was looking at him, but he didn’t give any such indication. He was looking away, but still, somehow, Laila knew that she had his undivided attention. And in that moment, something changed.

  It was as if a switch had been flipped. Laila could feel the change physically, in every atom of her body. JD had stopped grinning for the first time since Laila had known him, and she realized that he was then thinking about that interrupted kiss, about their walk by the fountain, about her sitting alone in the dark. It was evident that even though he was constantly happy and chatty and upbeat, he didn’t miss the undercurrents.

  And that revelation had an unexpected reaction within Laila. It broke down the fences around her heart. It was as if she opened the door, let him in and now they were on the same team. He no longer felt like a stranger, an enemy. She could pull the fences down, let him in. And in that moment, Laila, who had never talked to anyone about Abhishek since his death, not even her mother—those two minutes with Maahi being the only exception—began telling JD about him.

  She followed his gaze outside the window and watched a girl with a
high ponytail and shy smile as she spoke slowly, clearly. ‘I don’t play. I mean, I do play, all the time—I take everything lightly on the surface and make fun of things—but I don’t play when it comes to relationships. I take them seriously. I fell in love on my first day of college. It wasn’t stupid to me. On the contrary, it felt very meant-to-be. My parents were divorced when I was three and Maa brought me to Delhi. I pretty much never had a father, and I held that against the parent I did have. So I sort of blamed her for not trying harder to make the marriage work—for my sake.’ She glanced at JD quickly to find that he hadn’t moved an inch before resuming. ‘And so, when I met Abhishek and fell in love with him, it was as if my lifelong belief that love exists and it works and is the only thing that matters, was validated. We were crazy about each other. All through college, we were inseparable. We were that annoying couple everyone referred to as a single entity. It was always Laila and Abhi or Abhi and Laila. Our names were always said together.’

  Laila’s face stretched in a small smile, as she thought back to her college days and remembered her carefree self—madly in love, ready for everything. ‘As soon as we graduated and got jobs, we told our parents about our relationship and got married. Maa thought it was too early for me, I was only twenty-one. But I told her that when it’s right, it’s right and that she shouldn’t worry about me making a hasty decision because I was sure and was going to do anything to make it work—I would never get a divorce.’ Laila laughed a dry laugh, full of self-loathing. ‘I think I was proving a point of some kind, when in truth, I didn’t know anything about why my parents’ marriage ended. I thought it was easier just to hate my mother for denying me my father. But anyway, I digress from the point. Abhishek and I were in love and we figured there was no reason to not be married. So we got married. Eight months later, he died in a car accident.’

  JD’s head jerked towards her. ‘Shit,’ he muttered and then stammered, ‘I mean … I’m sorry—so sorry to hear that…’

  Laila nodded, unable to look at him. The girl with the high ponytail and shy smile walked away with two other girls. Laila shifted her gaze to a boy in a T-shirt two sizes small for him. She had half a mind to keep going, but JD began speaking and she lost her courage.