by Delisa Lynn
Sometimes I wonder why I’m so attracted to Ashton. He isn’t very friendly to most people and he thinks he’s such a badass. He got tattoo sleeves when he was sixteen. I can’t believe his parents allowed him to get them at that age. Then again, we're talking about Ashton. He gets whatever he wants. He is so damn bossy sometimes.
He drives a red Harley Davidson motorcycle that he calls his baby! It was a gift from his parents for his eighteenth birthday. He doesn’t allow anyone else to drive it. Hell, he rarely let’s anyone ride on it with him. The last time he picked me up, there were so many rules I’m surprised I was allowed to breathe while sitting on the back.
I sit down on the swing and wait for my ride. I’d received a text from Ashton saying that he and Liam were picking me up. A few minutes later, I watch the sports car round the corner. I notice that they’re driving Liam’s car. He has a silver Corvette; it’s really nice and shiny.
Ashton gets out and I slide between the two of them. I’m glad my ass is small because I have to sit on the console. I’ve always wondered why this big ass guys drives this small car. He’s, like, six feet and drives a sardine can.
Here I am, sandwiched between the two of them. Placing my hands in my lap, I try to keep my elbow from touching Liam’s. Ashton throws his arm over my shoulder; I lean into him, giving Liam his own elbow room.
“Did Eric and Addison already leave?” I ask.
“Yes, they’re already there,” Liam says, looking over at me. Why the hell does he always stare at me like that? It gives me chills sometimes. I'm not sure if that’s good or bad.
Clearing my throat, I say, “This is a pretty car, Liam.” I instantly feel awkward.
He laughs and says, “Lila, it's a sports car. They aren’t meant to be pretty.”
Ashton joins in, laughing with him. He kisses the side of my face. “Babe, you say the silliest things.”
“Well, excuse me. It's a badass car. There, does that sound better? You two are so macho.” I sigh. They’re still laughing. Why the fuck don’t I know what to say when I’m around Liam?
Before I can get out of the car, Ashton’s already in the house. I slide on over to climb out and Liam takes my hand.
“You look great tonight,” he says, helping me out of the car. I could've gotten out on my own, but, considering my man rushed off without me, I like that Liam is so helpful.
“Thanks.” I smile. Does he really think his charm is flattering? He can clearly see I’m with his cousin, but for some reason, I think he doesn’t care.
I also like that Liam always compliments and flirts with me. I know it pisses Ashton off, though. Liam’s a very handsome man, but I’ll never tell him I think so.
Once inside, I see Eric and Addie dancing. I knew Eric and Ads would end up together; they’re exactly alike.
“Lila, so glad you made it. It isn’t a party unless I have my wing woman.” Her words are slurred; yep, she is drunk for sure.
“Okay, if you say so. Let’s grab a drink and dance,” I say, but I see she already has a drink in each hand. What the hell?
She gives me one of the drinks. “This is for you.”
She hands Eric the other drink, grabs my free hand and drags me across the room. That’s one thing we do best—shake our asses. Ashton hates when I dance at parties, so I know he’s going to be pissed when he sees us.
Naughty Girl by Beyoncé comes on and Addie and I start dancing. When Eric and Liam approach us, Eric shakes his head and Liam chuckles.
I hear Liam tell Eric, “Your sister sure can dance.”
Eric nods. I guess all those dancing classes and gymnastics my mom made me take have a lot to do with my flexibility. Just as I turn back around, I see Ashton walking toward me. Damn it, busted.
“Come on, Lila, let’s go upstairs,” he says, grabbing my hand.
“Right now?” I question.
“Yes, I just want to be alone with my girl. Is that too much to ask? You’re out here shaking your ass like you’re single.”
“I’ll be back, Ads. Save me a dance.” I give my friend a quick hug and head off with my boyfriend. I know what he wants, and I’m not ready to give in yet. Not tonight, anyway.
We walk up the stairs and into a small room. It has a bed and a dresser; it’s very compact and tidy. Ashton closes the door behind us. We're standing nose-to-nose in the center of the room. He runs his hand down my back and pulls me closer to him, as if we aren’t already close enough. I can smell the alcohol on his breath.
“I’ve always wanted to be with you. We've been together long enough. What's the problem?” he asks, kissing my cheek.
“I just don’t think I’m ready yet,” I say sternly, hoping he will understand.
“You’re leaving soon. Don’t you want to be with me before you leave for college?” He breathes into my neck.
I put my hand on his cheek. “I do, just not now.”
He kisses me and rubs my breasts. I don’t stop him. I've pushed his hands away for months now; I figure it's time to let him touch me, at least. I’m just not feeling it, though. I thought I would feel something once I let him touch me in these places.
“Oh, baby, come on. My dick is so hard right now. I promise it won’t hurt and you will be so glad we did it,” he says, grinding his package into my stomach.
His words aren't turning me on whatsoever. I’d never been turned on by any of my boyfriends.
He unzips my jeans and pulls them down. I don’t know what I'm thinking, but I let him.
“Wait, we can’t do this now. I’m sorry that you’re ready and I’m not,” I say breathlessly.
“Come on. It’ll feel so good,” he pants into my neck.
“Not tonight, Ashton. Just not tonight. Okay?”
“So you can shake your ass for the party but not for your man?”
“It isn’t like that,” I say.
The door flings open.
“Dude, what the fuck are you doing?” Ashton yells.
Liam laughs. “Oh, I didn’t realize you two were in here.”
“Get out, man,” Ashton orders.
Liam runs his hand over the back of his head. “Sorry,” he mumbles before closing the door.
My cheeks burn with embarrassment. Liam probably thinks I’m a damn slut. I hope he doesn’t think Ashton and I were in here screwing. Oh God, I hope he doesn’t tell my brother!
Damn it, breathe…Lila, just take a deep breath. In spite of feeling humiliated, I’m so glad he came in when he did. He saved me from doing something I wasn’t ready to do.
“I don’t think this is a good idea right now.”
“Fuck, Lila!” He runs his hands quickly through his hair and looks at me with his piercing blue eyes. “Why are you doing this? You keep teasing me. I have needs, you know. Can’t you just help me out and at least touch me or give me a blow job?”
“Ashton Ellis, no!” I’ve never done that and I really don't want to now.
“Fine, remember you’re the one that turned me down.”
“Wait, I’m sorry,” I say, grabbing his arm.
I try kissing him, but he jerks away and walks out the door. Damn, what the hell does this mean? He always makes me feel so damn bad. He’s worse than my ex, Will.
Will didn’t beg half as much. Maybe that’s why he cheated on me. Oh damn, Ashton is going to fucking cheat on me! That dirty bastard. I’ll break his neck if he does.
I walk down the stairs. I don’t see Ashton anywhere. I’m normally not a drinker, but I need another strong drink right now. The one I had with Ads hasn’t kicked in yet. I just don’t understand why it’s so hard for him to understand that I’m not ready.
I go on a mission to find Addie, but I can't find her or Eric anywhere. I get my drink and sit in the corner. It's a little strong; it tastes like fruit punch with a gallon of vodka. It’s exactly what I need right now. I just want to get the picture of Liam walking in on Ashton and me out of my damn head.
I see Savvy, the school slut, push
a guy into the bathroom. I’ve heard she is known for her blow jobs and that all of the football players have slept with her, so I assume that's what she's doing with the guy she's in the bathroom with.
I shake my head, look around and spot Liam's handsome face. He hands me a beer. I’m glad he did; I needed another one.
Damn, this one isn't as strong as the first one. Maybe I’ll get a third one.
“Lila, are you avoiding me?” he asks as he leans in next to me.
“Why would I avoid you?” I ask.
“You just seemed to disappear after we got out of the car. Then, after walking in on you and Ashton um…doing what you were doing…”
“Nope, nothing to do with you. Ashton and I weren’t doing anything. We had an argument,” I say matter-of-factly.
“Oh, is that what that was? It looked like you were in a hot and heavy make out session.” He winks.
I want to throw my drink at him. I can’t believe he fucking saw that! Now I just want to run and hide under the biggest rock I can find.
“Well, we argued after that. We weren’t having sex, if that’s what you think. Ashton wanted to, but I said no. We have never had sex. I’m a virgin,” I blurt, then face palm.
Did I just say that? Great, what the fuck am I thinking? Oh God, am I drunk already? I hope he doesn’t think that’s an invitation for him to fuck me. Damn, he’s laughing at me.
“What’s so funny?” I whisper.
“Oh, nothing, just the look in your eyes. Not having sex with Ashton is a good thing,” he says, taking a sip of his drink.
I laugh. I’m such a damn blonde—why the hell would I tell him about my sex life? Wait, I don’t have a sex life. I’m not drinking this shit anymore. I need Addison. Where the fuck is my best friend when I need her? I’m drunk and telling her cousin about my non-existing sex life.
“Lila, would you like to dance?” Liam asks as he reaches his hand out. He takes my drink and sits it on the nearby table.
“Uh okay, I guess so,” I say as I stumble into his arms.
I hope Ashton doesn’t see us. I know he would be furious. He, for some reason, can’t stand when Liam talks to me. Liam is a good dancer and smells so good, different than Ashton. His hands are soft and he isn’t trying to feel my ass. I lean my head into his chest and inhale, knowing I can get lost in that scent.
“So, how did a beautiful woman like you end up with that jerk cousin of mine?” he asks, pulling me closer to him.
“Ashton is a good guy, unlike some of the things I’ve heard about you,” I say, then I realize what I said. Fuck me and my damn mouth.
“Things about me…like what? Let me guess, Ashton has told you these things, correct?” he asks.
“Yes, it’s nothing really,” I say as I turn my head.
“Hmm, nothing as in what? Come on, Lila, what has that ass been telling you about me?”
“Well, he said that you basically use girls for sex.”
“I use girls for sex?”
He looks hurt by what I said.
“Yes, please don’t say anything to him, Liam!”
“Okay, only because you asked me not to. Have fun.” He runs his finger across my cheek and disappears. I look for Addie again and can’t find her. I’m going to kick her ass; she normally doesn’t leave me alone like this. I decide to text her.
Me: WTF…Where are you? I need you. ;(
Ads: You okay? I left already. I thought you were with Ashton? OMG did he hurt you? I’ll kick his ass, Lila.
Me: No, I’m okay…I’m leaving now!
I start to leave and run into Liam—again.
“Hey, we have to quit meeting like this.” I giggle, almost falling backwards.
“You okay there, L?”
“I’m fine, just a little tipsy I guess. I’m going home; can you tell Ashton, please?” I say, running my hand down his arm. “Oooh, you have big biceps.” I laugh.
“I’ll take you home. And yes, I tend to work out a lot,” he teases.
“No, I enjoy walking at night because I love watching the moonlight and stars. The night air is so refreshing. It feels so good on my hot skin,” I say as I rub my arms. Yeah, I am drunk.
“I know they’re beautiful at night, but I’m not letting you leave like this. I was leaving anyway, so I can just take you so I know you’ve made it home safely,” he says, putting his arm around me.
“Where’s your girlfriend?” I blurt, then place my hand over my mouth.
“I don’t have a girlfriend. That girl was just a friend,” he says.
Ha! Friend? Yeah right, more like one of those fuck buddies of his. He smiles at me as he grabs my hand and leads me out the door. That smile probably gets him all kinds of girls.
He opens the door for me and fastens my seat belt. God, he has a scent I’ve never smelled before—it’s like heaven. I’ll never forget his scent.
My stomach’s hurting and I feel really nauseated. No more drinking for me.
“Um Liam, I need to get out,” I say, but he’s already driving.
“Are you okay? You need me to pull over,” he asks, concerned.
“Please pull over!” I yell. I feel like everything I drank is going to come out of my mouth full force. I jump out of the car and run to the back of it, and yep, there it goes…I get sick everywhere. I forgot I haven’t eaten anything since this morning.
“Oh L, baby, are you all right?” Liam asks as he pulls my hair back with his hands. He holds my hair on top of my head with one hand and rests his other hand on my back.
“I…um, I’m so sorry,” I say, dry heaving. God, I’m never drinking again.
“You don’t have to apologize.” He smiles at me as I try to wipe my face.
“Can you grab my purse, please?”
I know I have tissues and hand sanitizer in there. He walks to the front and brings my purse back to me; then he helps me clean my face and hands.
“Thank you,” I whisper. Placing my hands on my knees, I keep my head down. I feel like my head is spinning.
“Now let’s get you home. You’re pretty pale; I’m sure you need some aspirin and ginger ale,” he says, placing his arm around my waist and sliding me into his sardine can.
The ride is quiet. After pulling into my driveway, he quickly gets out of the car and jogs to my side to help me out. He walks me to the door, hugs me, and gives me a light kiss on the top of my head. I watch as he goes back to his car. I walk in the door and up the stairs, smiling. Opening my bedroom door, I kick my shoes off and fall onto my bed.
He’s all I’m going to think about the rest of the night.
***
Liam
Damn it, I had my chance to tell her exactly how he is. I didn’t do it. I know it will hurt her; hell, he's hurting her now. Kissing her on her head is just the start of the things I want to do to her. I have to step away. Her touch has me wanting her so bad.
I sit in my car, knowing that I must have some sort of effect on her. I know that Ashton isn’t home; he's getting his dick sucked by the class slut. I knew once I’d walked in on him and Lila that he was going to run straight to Savvy, and that’s exactly what he did when Lila wouldn’t give it to him. He went elsewhere.
Driving home, I try to get the thought of the blue-eyed angel out of my head, but I can’t. Maybe I should just move the fuck on because it’s clear that she only wants Ashton.
Instead of going home, I decide to go to the beach. That’s where I do most of my thinking. The sound of the water relaxes me; I think it’s because the house I grew up in was on a beach. I’m used to that comfort. No, I was used to that. Things have changed since I lost both my parents.
Moving in with my aunt and uncle was the best thing for me considering the circumstances. I honestly thought my life was over. I lost my parents, moved away from my friends…but once I got here and saw that I could have a good life, I realized that everything happens for a reason. The reason was Lila; we were meant to cross paths.
Kicking
some of the sand beneath my feet, I walk a few steps before sitting down. I cross my legs, lean back, and stare into the sky. There’s something about the night sky; it always makes me feel better. It may sound weird, but I find comfort in the dark.
Chapter Four
Lila
“Are you mad at me? And what happened?” Addison whines over the phone. It’s almost noon and she’s just now checking on me. Well, isn’t she caring?
“No, Ads, Ashton and I had a fight. You left me; I could have gotten kidnapped walking home alone,” I say.
“I’m sorry, I thought you were safe with your man. I was so drunk. Eric stayed sober for the both of us.”
“Ashton wanted sex. Yadda, yadda, yadda. You know, same ol’ story.”
“I told you he was a male whore and not to sleep with him. If you want to wait, then don’t let that douche bag talk you into fucking him.”
“You talk so nicely about your brother.”
“I just know that he’s been around the block a few times and I don’t want my best friend to be another number on his list. You know that Liam is a good guy and he really likes you!”
“I’m not going there. You know he’s not my type. He was kind enough to give me a ride home, though.”
“Lila, you just don’t know; he's a sweet guy. Ashton is jealous of him so don’t listen to anything he says about Liam. Eric is calling me, so I’ll see you tonight. I love you.”
“Love you back,” I retort.
***
I decide to go to another party with Addie. I didn’t know Ashton was going as well, considering he hasn’t spoken to me much since last night. My eyes meet his, and I can see he is pissed. I know I need to make things right with him. I watch his gaze as he turns his back to me. Asshat.
“Ads, I’m going to go talk to your brother,” I say, giving her a hug.
“Remember our talk,” she says, pointing her finger at me.
“Yes, mom, I know.” I roll my eyes.