Embracing Series Box Set #1-6

by Delisa Lynn

He hugs me. I can feel my body starting to tremble. Baby bean must feel it too because my stomach is doing flip-flops.

  “When you didn’t show, I went back to New York. I waited for a week before I called Evan. He just assumed that I was with you. When I called him, I was having an emotional melt down, so he planned a special day for us. He had no intentions of having sex with me that day. But Liam, I needed him more than I had ever needed anything. I hadn’t heard from you; I was hurt, lost, and feeling all sorts of fucked up emotions.”

  I sigh and take a sip of water. I know the sooner I tell him, the better.

  “We had sex that day. I told him I loved him because I do—I mean, I did. Then, after that day, we became a couple. I still thought about you every day. Not a day went by that I didn’t wonder where you were, if you were alive and well.”

  I start to speak again, but Liam puts his finger to my mouth. He kneels on the floor between my knees and wraps his arms around me.

  “Can you please answer these questions I’m going to ask you?”

  “Yes, I can answer whatever you want.”

  I run my hand down his cheek. I know exactly what he is going to ask and I’m not so sure I want to answer, but I have to; I’m the one that fucked everything up.

  “Lila, look at me. Did you have sex with Evan the day of your father’s memorial?” he asks as he holds my hand.

  A sob escapes my throat. I’m trying to hold it back, but it’s not staying in. “Y-Yes, I did.”

  He closes his eyes and squeezes my hands even tighter. He brings both hands to his mouth and kisses them.

  “Okay, now answer this. Did you have sex with Evan when you were in New York? If you say yes, please tell me you used protection,” he says as he sits beside me on the couch. Oh God, I have to tell him the truth.

  “Yes, I slept with him in New York. No, we didn’t use protection. We had sex twice that weekend. Liam, please look at me. I’m so sorry. I never meant to hurt you.”

  He stands up and walks out on the boardwalk. The sobs I struggled to hold back a few minutes ago come back, this time too powerful to repress. I don’t know if I should follow or if I should just sit here and wait for him to come back inside.

  “Fuck, why the hell do you keep running to him?” I hear him yell from the boardwalk.

  He walks back inside with his fists clenched. He’s never hurt me, but right now I’m terrified. I take an extra pillow and hold the two pillows as close to me as I can.

  “I’m so, so, sorry,” I whisper.

  “So tell me, Lila. When else did you go off fucking Evan? Hmm, are the girls even mine? You apparently don’t know what a goddamn condom is and neither does he,” he shouts, this time from the kitchen counter.

  “Ju-just the times you know about. In New York, when I packed my belongings to move back home, my father’s memorial, and this year. And yes, the girls are yours. How can you ask me that? I hadn’t seen or talked to him in months when I got pregnant with them,” I cry out.

  “Jesus, Li, every goddamn time was unprotected?”

  Tears rush into my mouth. I feel so fucking stupid. My mind draws a total blank.

  “Fucking. Answer. My. Question,” he yells as he punches the counter. I can see the veins in his neck bulging.

  “Yes, every time was unprotected. I slept with Evan four times since you’ve been back. I’m sorry, Liam, please…please, baby, forgive me.”

  I run to him and grab him around his waist. He pulls away from me and pounds his hand on the counter again.

  “Are you just fucking him to fuck him? Because you want him? You want to hurt me? What the hell is it? I never imagined you would do this to me, to us. Baby bean might be his. There is no goddamn way he is going to destroy us or our family. Do you understand me? No fucking way, Lila Rae. This baby is mine, you hear me? It’s mine, and you’re mine. I’ll be goddamned if he will be a part of our child’s life, ever!

  “I knew the moment I saw his smug ass at the hospital that you were with him, that the baby might not be mine. I’ve had months to process this. I was so fucking mad at you. You were lying in that hospital bed for two fucking months and all I could think about was that there is a possibility the baby inside of you might not be mine. I’m trying really hard to stay calm because I don’t want to cause you or the baby any stress,” he says, pacing across the floor. He tugs at his hair as he mumbles something.

  “I’m so sorry. I don’t know why I needed him all those times.” I wrap my arms around myself. “I love him, but not like I love you.”

  He stops walking and crosses his arms over his chest. “I know, baby, I know. I hate that you were with him while we’ve been together, but I can’t help but love you.” He places his hands on either side of my face. “Look at me. Promise me you will never do this again.”

  “I won’t, I promise. We have our life and he has his.”

  Even now, even after promising Liam that I’ll no longer have anything to do with the man I spent more than two years of my life with, I still love Evan. I can’t just turn off my feelings for Evan; it’s not that easy, but I won’t betray Liam again. If I have to stop seeing and talking to Evan to earn Liam’s forgiveness, that’s what I’ll do.

  We spend the rest of the night holding each other and talking. Without him and my girls, I’m nothing. I can’t lose him, and this baby can’t be Evan’s.

  ***

  I love my job, but days like this make me wish I would’ve taken more time off.

  We got back late last night, then both girls slept in our bed. I woke up late and spilled decaf coffee down my blouse.

  Once I finally reached the office, my coworker and friend, Megan, was in my office with a new blouse for me and the files I need for court. I’ve been working on a divorce case for a wealthy client. She and her husband were very well known. I was shocked when she asked me to represent her.

  “Megan, doll, you’re a damn life saver. Liam doesn’t want me drinking caffeine, and oh God, do I need it. I can’t function. I keep telling myself five months…

  “The damn alarm didn’t go off this morning. Maddison couldn’t find her favorite giraffe. Addison’s dress wasn’t the color she wanted to wear. Liam had to go into the office and Rosa, as always, was a life saver. You know if it isn’t one thing, it’s another.”

  “Just take a deep breath. Sounds like the romantic weekend was longer than expected? I’m going to court with ya, lady. I got your back. Now hurry before you’re even later.”

  “Yes, the weekend was very long, but sweet. My husband is perfect. I don’t know how I got so lucky.”

  “Yeah, I know. They broke the mold when they made that man. His body is so fucking hot!”

  “Bitch, quit drooling over my husband. Let’s go, then lunch?”

  “Whatever you want, preggers,” she says as she smacks my ass.

  We ride to the courthouse together. I want to tell Megan about Evan and the baby possibly being his, but I decide to wait a while.

  Of course, on the way to the courthouse, we get stopped by a damn train. There are always trains in this area, but lately they’ve been awful. I normally leave an hour or so early, just in case, but today is just one of the days where you want to just crawl back in the bed.

  Chapter Five

  Liam

  It’s been a month since Lila has admitted everything to me. God, it hurt me so fucking bad. We stayed at the resort for another day and just talked about baby bean and what we’re going to do. Now that Lila is five months and showing, we can’t keep it from everyone any longer. We told the girls and the rest of the family.

  I’m still not sure if Brody will run back and tell Evan. Unfortunately, we will have to see him at the wedding. It’s customary for the best man and the matron of honor to walk hand in arm together. I’m not comfortable with this at all.

  We have an appointment with the doctor today. We’re going to ask how the DNA testing works. I pray to God every day that my baby bean doesn’t have Evan’s blood
running through his or her veins.

  “Hey, beautiful. You ready to see if baby bean is a boy or a girl?”

  I pull my wife in for a hug. She is even more beautiful when she’s pregnant. She has a glow that takes your breath away. Her curves are curvier and her breasts and ass are fuller.

  “I’m so ready. I hope they can tell us the gender today. If not, I’ll be really crushed. We need to start getting the nursery ready and Mom wants to start planning a baby shower. Ever since I told her, that’s all she talks about. I know she’s going to drive me crazy with the plans.”

  “My mom has already asked about it, too. I honestly think they had me on three way but didn’t let me know what they were up to. Together, they’re very dangerous.”

  “Oh, stop it, Liam. I’m glad our mothers have become best friends. I know my mom loves hanging out with her and they love taking the girls shopping. They remind me of Addison and me,” she says. A tear rolls down her cheek.

  I pull Lila into me. “Hey, no tears. We will stop by and tell Ads baby bean’s gender as soon as we find out, okay?”

  I miss Addison so much. I can only imagine how much Lila misses her. Although she’s been gone for five years, it still hurts as bad as it did the day I found out.

  “Thank you, babe. I would like that. I need to stop off and get her a vanilla bean frappe from Starbucks. I always take one when I go there. You know that was her favorite. For the longest time, I couldn’t drink them after she died. Then I thought, every time I have one, it will be for her. That was our thing: shopping, Starbucks, and movies.”

  ***

  We arrive at Dr. Brewster’s office a little early. This isn’t the same obstetrician we saw when Lila was pregnant with the girls. Dr. Brewster’s office is closer and we’ve heard nothing but great things about the doctor and nurses here.

  We walk in, hand in hand. Lila checks in and starts filling out paperwork. They don’t use pen and paper anymore; each patient uses a laptop to fill everything out. Seems neat enough, but I bet it’ll be a pain in the ass if the computers go down.

  Huge tears stream down her cheeks. She looks up at me and says, “They are asking questions about the father.”

  I take it from her, place one hand on hers and use the other to fill out my information on the forms. With the best of my knowledge, I answer all the questions about my family history. This baby is mine, even if that goddamn test says otherwise. I fill everything out and hand the laptop back to her to finish the rest.

  “Thank you, Liam. I…umm…I’m sorry I did this to you, to us. I love you more than anything. You know that, right?” she says as she lays her head on my shoulder.

  She finishes the electronic form and I take it to the receptionist. Shortly after, the receptionist sends us in another room.

  “Lila Carls-Ellis, my name is Brandy and I will be your medical assistant today. If you will follow me, I’ll need to take your vitals and get your height and weight as well as a urine sample.”

  I sit in the office, running my hands through my hair. I have so much shit going through my mind. Hell, I can’t even think straight. No one else knows I might not be the father. I think Ashton knows something. He and I have been pretty close since I came home from the Army. He started to ask me questions last week, when I told him we were expecting, but then he just congratulated me. He has his own problems to worry about.

  The medical assistant walks back into the room. She asks Lila to undress and put a paper gown on. When the medical assistant steps out again, I can tell Lila is as nervous as I am, but I need to let her know I’m here for her.

  I sit in the chair next to the bed and rub her stomach. There are still tears in her eyes. She touches my hand as I run it up and down her baby bump.

  “Look at me, beautiful. I’m right here. I’m not going anywhere. I will always be here; never doubt that, Lila. You hear me? Let me know you understand.” She nods and takes a deep breath. “Mine. You, the baby bean, and the girls are all mine,” I growl.

  She says, “Thank you for loving me even though I fucked everything up.”

  I kiss her forehead and hand her a couple tissues. Just as we start getting comfortable, Brandy walks back in the room. She puts a monitor on Lila’s belly and a smile spreads across all three of our faces.

  “Well, Mr. and Mrs. Ellis, that is a strong sounding heartbeat the baby has. Are the two of you ready to see the baby? Do you want to know the sex today? This will be the last ultra sound we do.”

  “Yes, ma’am, we are ready, and we would like to know the gender.” Lila looks at me and smiles.

  The nurse squirts jelly on Lila’s stomach and runs a wand over it while she pushes buttons on a keyboard. I hold on to L’s hand and we both stare at the beautiful baby on the screen. It’s no longer a bean.

  “Well, someone is surely big and healthy. If you look here, you can see he has his thumb in his mouth. He is definitely a boy.”

  She looks over at the two of us. Both of us are in tears.

  “Baby, we’re having a boy. The girls are going to be so happy,” I say.

  I kiss Lila. I can see she’s as happy as I am, but I can also see she’s unsure about everything. I bend down and whisper in her ear, “It’s okay, he is ours. He is an Ellis, no matter what.”

  “Thank you,” is all she got out before she starts crying.

  The nurse hands us some tissues. She wipes Lila’s stomach and says the doctor will be in shortly to talk to us about everything.

  We just sit there, hugging each other. We’re having a boy! I have to regroup my thoughts about everything I want to ask Dr. Brewster.

  A young woman walks in the room. She doesn’t look old enough to be a doctor, though. She looks through the medical record and looks over at my wife and me.

  “Hi, I’m Dr. Tanill Brewster. Looks like we have a healthy baby boy here,” she says as she shakes both of our hands. “Do you guys have any questions or concerns?”

  I can feel Lila trembling. I place my hand on her shoulder and pull her closer to me. She looks at me and I nod my head. I clear my throat, look at the doctor and say words I wish I never had to say.

  “I have some questions. Is there a way to perform a DNA test to determine the baby’s paternity? His father may be another man, but we want to be sure before we mention this to him.”

  “Yes, there is a test that we can administer. Lila is far enough along that we would be able to determine paternity. If you don’t want to know now, we can also perform the test after the baby is born. It would be up to you to decide if and when you want the test performed. If we perform the test now, we would take a sample of the placenta. This would not harm the baby or Lila whatsoever, but there is a slight chance of a miscarriage. This is the test we perform to check for hereditary diseases that can affect the fetus.

  “We would then send the sample to the lab, along with a swab from the potential father’s cheek, to determine if the DNA matches. This test is used often with a high rate of success. Just to ease your mind, we can perform it today, or you can talk about it and make an appointment. If you wait until after the baby is born, we would, of course, do a swab test on the baby as well as the father in question. Do you have any questions about the test?”

  “If we did the cell sample, it wouldn’t hurt the baby at all, right? There’s just the slight chance of a miscarriage?” I ask. Although Dr. Brewster already said it would be slight, I would like to hear the answer again.

  Lila stares at me. I can’t tell if she’s comprehending any of this. Hell, I don’t know what’s going through her head at all. I squeeze her hand, letting her know that I’m still on her side. It’s her decision, not mine.

  “Lila, do you have any questions you would like answered before you make any decisions?” Dr. Brewster asks her. When Lila doesn’t answer, she takes Lila’s hands in hers and says, “There is nothing to worry about; this is normal. This happens to a lot of families. I don’t know your circumstances, but I can only go off of what I se
e here. I see that your husband loves you and is willing to do whatever it is you want to do. Take my card. Call me anytime you have more questions. Day or night, I will answer as soon as I’m able.”

  “Th-Thank you, Doctor. I will talk everything over with my husband and make a choice. Is that okay?”

  “Perfectly fine with me. If you think of any questions, call me. If I don’t answer, my answering service will, and I’ll be in touch as soon as I can.”

  I shake the young doctor’s hand. “Thank you, Dr. Brewster. We really appreciate all of your help.”

  Chapter Six

  Liam

  After leaving the doctor’s office, we go to the mall. Lila has been wanting to buy baby stuff for months. We go into Gymboree and Children’s Place and buy tons of baby boy clothes. I like everything she picks out. We end up getting new baby furniture as well.

  Good thing there is a Buy Buy Baby at the mall. I think Li would have flipped if there wasn’t one. With the girls, everything was pink, purple, and yellow. Now I finally get to pick this shit out. I choose tons of sport-themed items. We get bottles, bibs, binkies, and blankets, a breast pump that isn’t sexy attached to my woman’s wonderful boobs, and a diaper genie. Diaper genies are awesome.

  We end up getting the girls some toys, like they really need them, but I can’t go home without getting my princesses anything. We buy shirts that say I’m the big sis. They will love them; they’re already talking about being big sisters. We get AJ one that says my cousins are my best friends.

  “Lila, I’m starving. Let’s grab lunch. Your choice,” I say, looking around at all the restaurants.

  Oh hell, I know exactly what she’s going to pick. She puts her finger to her chin. Here it comes.

  “Hmm, let’s see what baby bean is hungry for. I think we would like House of the Dragon. Right, baby boy bean?” she says, rubbing her stomach. Damn her, I thought for sure she was going to say Chipotle.