by Delisa Lynn
He laughs and walks to where I’m sitting. I pretend not to see or hear his pleas for me to hear him out. Then he sits next to me. He leans in close to my ear and whispers, “I’m sorry. I owe you a coffee. How about after class?” His breath heats my neck. I break out in goosebumps.
I nervously bite my lip. Something about him makes me want to know more. “Okay, I’ll go, but just know that you’re a douche.”
His smile grows wider. “Meet me after your last class. There’s a café around the corner.”
“Okay,” I say. I know exactly what café it is. I’ve applied for a job there as a waitress. I don’t need the money, but I know it’ll help with my anxiety and get me out of my dorm. As class starts, I listen to the lecture and take notes. I can still feel Blake’s eyes on me. When the bell rings, I proceed to my next class.
Before I know it, I’ve attended three classes and it’s already lunch time. Thank God, because my stomach sounds like a grizzly bear.
***
Today’s been one long ass day, and I’m ready for that coffee. I’m not sure how it’ll play out with Mr. Full of Himself, but it’s worth a shot. I need to make friends here anyway, so now is a great time.
When I walk into the café, I see him sitting in the corner. He’s smiling and has already ordered me a drink. I sit down in front of him and say, “What’s up, douchetwat?”
“Ha, yeah. I was being a douche, wasn’t I?”
“Pretty much. I don’t know anyone here yet besides my roommate, so I was just looking to make some friends,” I say.
“Yeah, I get that. I’ve been here for a few years. Pre-med, by the way.”
“Jesus, you’re going to be someone’s doctor? Glad you won’t be mine.” I snort.
“Shit, was I that bad?” he asks.
“Yes, a complete jerk.”
“I apologize. I was honest about the sex part, so if you’re up for it, just let me know.”
“Dude, I’m seriously not sleeping with you.” I laugh and throw a napkin at him.
“Damn, am I that ugly?” he says, pretending to hide behind the napkin dispenser.
“No, I’m just not a whore.”
“Well, I tried. So, where you from?”
“Not here.” I laugh.
“Yeah, I got that much.” He smiles. “I like you.”
“Rhode Island. You seem okay, but you’re just so dang conceited, I don’t know how you see straight.”
“I’m going to let you in on a secret. It’s a front.” He places his finger to his lips. “Shh, you will ruin me if you tell anyone.” He smiles.
“Do you normally get girls with these lines?”
“Most of the time I do, but sometimes I run into snobs from Rhode Island.”
“Whatevs.” I roll my eyes. “I’ve gotta run. Thanks for the latte.”
“Anytime,” he says, throwing cash on the table. “Here’s my number. Call me sometime. Later, freshie.”
“Yeah, see ya!” I walk toward the door. God, he’s such an arrogant ass.
***
Classes have been going on for a few months, and I am exhausted already. I had four classes this morning and I’m working a double shift tonight. I got the café job a few weeks ago. I’m actually training a new employee today and she seems nice.
I walk to a corner booth and see Blake with a girl. It doesn’t bother me because he and I are just friends, but I sensed a little jealousy rising through my veins when I first saw them.
“Hey, what can I get for the two of you?” I ask as I pull my pen from my ponytail.
Blake scoots closer to the blonde. Then he smiles before saying, “I’ll take a small coke and cheeseburger with no lettuce and extra pickle.”
I look at the blonde drooling all over Blake’s arms and ask, “And for you, sweets?”
“Oh,” she looks over the menu, “just water and a side salad.” She smiles.
“Okay, sounds good. What kind of dressing?” I ask.
“No dressing. That shit is fattening. Maybe you should lay off of it yourself.” She laughs. Blake tenses immediately.
“I’ll be right back with your order.”
What a cunt! I place the order and grab the new girl.
“What’s up, Alyssa?” she asks.
“Can you do me a huge favor when we walk over to that table? Can you flirt with the guy? Just pretend that you know him. Please,” I ask.
“Game on. His name is?” She smiles.
“Blake…Blake Black.” We walk to his table. I sit the drinks in front of the two of them, then Sydney smiles very big.
“Blake, baby. Why haven’t you called me? I’ve been missing you.” She winks.
“Um, I’m not sure we’ve met,” he says, confused.
“Come on, you can’t say you don’t remember our night together.”
“Sorry, doll, I don’t.”
“I’m not dealing with this,” the blonde says. She storms out of her seat and walks out of the café without a backward glance. I can’t hold back the laughter. I look at Sydney and Blake and laugh.
“Bravo, freshie! I gotta give it to you. I knew you were jealous.” He smiles as he places his hand in the small of my back. I instantly get chills.
“Please, you wish. She called me fat. Karma’s a bitch.” I laugh. “Thanks, Sydney.”
“No problem, and Blake, nice to meet you.” She walks away.
“What time do you get off?” Blake asks.
“In about an hour.”
“You should go out with me,” he says, rubbing my hand.
“Can’t. I have things to do,” I lie. I really just want to go back to my dorm and cry. Thinking back to this date a year ago always brings tears to my eyes.
“Hey, look at me,” he says, placing his finger under my chin.
“I have to get back to work. Don’t worry about the bill. I got it,” I say. I walk to the counter.
“Alyssa, wait,” he says, walking toward me. “I’ll figure you out, if it’s the last thing I do.” He swiftly kisses me on my cheek and leaves.
“Wow, looks like someone is intense,” Sydney says.
“Today’s a bad day. It’s the anniversary of one of the worst days of my life.” I can’t believe I just said that out loud.
“Oh, sweetie, I’m so sorry. Anything you would like to discuss?”
“Thank you, but not really. I just want to go home and cry,” I say, wiping a stray tear from my nose.
“Come here,” she says, hugging me. “Whatever it is, I’m so sorry that it happened to you.”
“Thanks, that means a lot. I’m going to go. Will you be okay with Jane?”
“Of course. You go and I’ll see you tomorrow,” she says as she hugs me again.
I grab my bag from the break room and clock out. Then I walk out the back door. It’s a nice fall night, so I decide to walk to the dorms since it’s only a few blocks away. I used to love this time of year: The leaves changing, breezy weather, an amazing aroma in the air, but that all changed last year. I changed.
My mind goes back to that windy September day last year.
I hadn’t talked to Seth since that morning and we were both going out with friends. We were miles apart. I can still hear the last words he spoke to me.
“Angel, I love you so fucking much. I can’t wait ‘til I can look at your beautiful face every day.”
“I can’t wait either. I miss you and your touch so much. I would do anything to be in your arms right now,” I say as I hug myself.
“That sounds so good. Look, I had better go. I’ll call you tonight, okay?”
“Okay. Have a good day.” I smile. “Miss you.”
“Miss you more. Love you even more,” he says.
Giggling, feeling a little to giddy, I reply, “Me too.”
Ever since that phone call, I’ve regretted the ‘me too’ part. I should have told him I loved him too. The last thing he heard from me before he died was ‘me too.’
I kick my shoes off as
soon as I walk into the room and watch them fly into the wall. I take my clothes off, grab Seth’s football jersey, and put it on. I lie on my bed and cover myself up with my comforter head to toe. I cry myself to sleep, holding the only thing I have left of Seth.
***
I look at my phone and see I have a text from Blake. I read it and burst out laughing.
Blake: Freshie, I’m sorry that you were jelly of blondie. Please let me make it up to you and bring you a Twinkie.
Me: You’re seriously too damn vain! I wasn’t jelly…She called me a fatty. Is that why you want to buy me a Twinkie?
Blake: You’re not fat, you know that. I want to see you. Please, look outside your dorm door.
Me: Are you stalking me?
Blake: Open the damn door.
Rolling my eyes, I open the door and see a see a single rose with a card on the ground. The card reads:
Roses are red, freshie is blue.
She’s hurting and I haven’t a clue,
but I want to be a cure.
This shit doesn’t make sense,
but please let me take you on a date.
Always, Double B.
Me: OMG you’re so strange. But that made me smile.
Blake: Good, now get ready. I’ll pick you up in an hour.
Me: Fine. I’m still not having sex with you, so you better get some before you pick me up.
Blake: Not yet anyways. How do you know I haven’t already?
Me: Ugh. I’m getting in the shower.
Blake: Perfect picture.
Me: Shit, I walked into that one. Phone is going off. C-ya!
Not that I want a relationship with this arrogant bastard, but he makes me laugh, and hell, my father would like that he’s in medical school. I laugh and shake that thought from my mind.
As soon as I finish getting dressed, Mal walks into the room and says, “Hey, where are you going?”
“Out with Double B.” I laugh.
“Oh God. He has you calling him that now?” She knows how he is.
“No, read this,” I say, shoving the note in her face.
“He’s too much.”
“I agree. I tell him that all the time.”
“Just don’t get hurt, okay?”
“Never. I know what I’m doing.”
I head outside. Blake is standing next to his car. I’m not sure what the model is, but it’s fairly old. His arms are crossed over his chest, and he’s wearing tight black jeans and a green, button down shirt.
I kiss his cheek. “Hey, thanks for the rose.”
“You’re very welcome. So…what’s your story?”
I sigh. “I was in love last year, but my boyfriend, Seth, left me,” I say, choosing not to elaborate on what really happened.
“Well, that sucks. Let’s grab a bite to eat and you can fill me in on everything. Sound good?”
“Yep. What about you. I know nothing about you.”
“I grew up here. I work nights as a janitor to pay for classes.”
“How long have you wanted to be a doctor?”
His grip on the steering wheel gets tighter. He sighs before speaking. “All my life. I’ve never imagined being anything else.” He winks. “So, is this us getting to know each other?”
I laugh. After clearing my throat, I say, “Yes, yes it is.”
“Good. Look, I’m sorry about the sex thing. Most girls want me, and with you, it seems that you aren’t interested. Sorry for coming on so strong.”
I smile. “It’s all good. I’m still not giving in.”
Chapter Three
Alyssa
I’ve been working at the café going on six months. Time has flown by. I’ve been working and studying a lot. I really don’t go out much. Tonight, that changes. I’m going to my first party with a few friends I’ve made. Blake and I have a love, hate relationship. I haven’t slept with him, although he has tried numerous times.
I look at myself in the mirror and see a woman I don’t want to be. I look boring. My auburn hair is long and stringy. I have no makeup on and my jeans and shirt are baggy.
I need to go shopping. I call my mom and warn her about the purchases I’m going to make. I take a cab to the local mall and decide to get my nails and hair done too. It’s been a year since I’ve pampered myself.
After a much needed makeover, I get an entire new wardrobe, including lingerie. I look at my phone and realize the time. I rush back to my dorm to get ready.
Using a three-fourth barrel curling iron, I curl all my layers under and spray it down with half a can of Aussie hairspray. I apply my makeup.
I picked a very specific outfit for tonight. After sliding the red dress over my head, I pull on my black stockings and black stilettos. I look into the mirror and see the new me. I’m not going to give a fuck about what anyone thinks.
Mal hasn’t seen anything I purchased or me. I haven’t worn makeup since Seth. I walk out of the bathroom, waiting for her to tell me I look ridiculous, but she does just the opposite.
“Holy smokes, you’re hot.” She whistles.
“Stop. Is it too much?” I ask, pulling my dress down. My boobs are spilling out. I automatically feel naked.
“Heck no, you look amazing. The boys are going to be on you like feathers on a duck.”
“You’re so silly. I got something for you too,” I say, grabbing a bag off of my bed. Mal’s family doesn’t have much money, so I always try to buy her things when I buy stuff for myself. She works in the campus bookstore, but she isn’t making much.
“Aww, you didn’t have to do that, but how can I turn down a sexy dress like this?” She giggles.
“Go get dressed. We have some heads to turn.” I smack her butt.
“You’re going to sleep with Blake tonight, aren’t you?”
“Huh? Why would you ask that?”
“Because you haven’t been with anyone in over a year. It’s time to move on. I know you have desires.”
I know she’s right. I do need to move on, but I have no clue how. Seth was all I knew. “Yeah, you’re right. Well, not about Blake,” I add quickly.
“Okay.” She rolls her eyes. “We’ll see.”
“Want me to do your makeup?” I ask, changing the subject.
“Hells yeah,” he says, clapping her hands together.
***
As I walk across the huge living room, where most of the people are at for the house party, I see a few familiar faces. Cara is working, and Mal has already ditched me. There’s a guy she’s been seeing. I completely understand.
I grab a drink from a cooler and sit down. These shoes are killing my toes. They can’t breathe. I watch everyone dance. All I see are couples. Right away, I feel sad.
“Jesus, is that you, freshie?” Blake laughs.
“Will you stop calling me that?” I smack his arm. “You look pretty hot yourself.”
I blush. The alcohol must be taking effect. I hurry and take another drink, hoping it will help take the pain away.
He leans into my body and places his mouth above my ear. “I never said you were hot.”
“Oh.” I gulp. “Well then,” I say as I start to walk away.
He puts his arms around my waist and brings me back toward him. “Let’s dance.”
“Okay,” I reply.
I hear music, but I have no idea who is singing and what the lyrics are. All I can feel is the heat on my cheeks and the wetness between my legs. I try to keep my distance, but he isn’t doing the same. As he grinds his body against my backside, my eyes roll back. I want to have sex with him, tonight.
“You like this, don’t you?” he asks as he kisses my neck.
“Mmmhmm,” I whisper as I feel my core tighten.
“Come on, let me make you feel good.” His words alone make me melt.
“Okay.” My legs feel wobbly and my heart’s racing.
“Don’t be nervous. We’ve been friends for a while. You know I’d never hurt you,” he says as he pulls me into
a small room. There’s nothing in it except a small couch and a lamp. After he closes the door, he turns to me and starts kissing me.
He lifts my dress over my head, then tosses it to the floor. He kisses my chest and works his way down my stomach, which I’m sure is doing some major rumbling. As he slides my panties down, I hear him chuckle. “Someone is excited.”
I feel so embarrassed because I know just how wet I am. Hey, in my defense, I went from having sex with Seth daily before he left for college to not having any at all. I place my hands on the back of his head. Once his mouth touches my wetness, I moan.
“Come on, lie down. It’ll be more comfortable,” he says as he pulls his pants down. He grabs a condom from his wallet. I lie down and try to cover myself with my hands. “Hey, stop that. You’re beautiful. Never try to cover yourself.”
He places his arms on both sides of my body, bends down, and kisses me. I can taste the saltiness of myself on his lips. I kiss him back and wrap my arms around his neck. He places his length at my opening. As he pushes in, I feel a little pain.
“Damn, you’re so tight. You’re not a virgin, are you?”
“No, it’s just been a while,” I say. He pulls out and pushes back in. This time I can feel him go deeper. Then his thrusts get a lot harder and faster.
“You feel so good. So glad you finally gave in,” he says as sweat rolls down his face. “Fuck, I’m coming, sweetheart.” He groans as he falls on top of me.
As I lie there, wondering what the hell I just did, I feel a tear slip down my cheek. I didn’t even think of Seth while I was fucking someone else. I was so afraid that was going to happen. When I get up, I see that he’s already dressed. I pick my dress up and slide it over my head.
“All right, I better go. You good?” he asks as he opens the door.