Embracing Series Box Set #1-6

by Delisa Lynn

“Yep…All good here.” I smile a fake smile, the fake smile I’ve grown accustomed to.

  Scratching his head, he says, “I hate to leave like this, but I have some place to be.”

  He leaves. I quickly rush to the door and lock it. Placing my hands over my face, I slide to the floor and silently cry.

  My phone goes off. It’s a text from Mal. She’s going home with her dude. Good. I can cry all night. I gather my thoughts and decide to leave.

  The party is still going strong, but I don’t see anyone I know. I walk outside. The night air is fresh and chilly. I wrap my arms around myself as I start to walk toward the next block. Two guys stop me.

  “Hey, don’t you look hot tonight. Alyssa, right?” one of the guys says. I’ve seen him around, but I’ve never spoken to him.

  “Yeah, I have to go.” I’m starting to feel uncomfortable. I can tell they’re pretty drunk.

  “Wait, beautiful, no need to rush off. Have a drink with us.” He laughs. The other guy walks toward me with a beer.

  “I can’t…I have to get back to my dorm.” I look around, hoping that I’ll see someone else.

  He wraps his arm around me and laughs. “Don’t be shy. I know you’ve been fucking Blake. He doesn’t mind sharing you with us.”

  “I don’t know what you’re talking about.” My anxiety kicks up a notch. I try to pull away, but he jerks me back again.

  “Come on, just walk over here with us. We won’t do anything you don’t want us to.” He laughs again and takes a puff of his cigarette.

  “I’m sorry, but I should go. I’ll see you around.”

  His grip on me is too tight. No matter how hard I try, I can’t pull away. My head starts spinning and I feel like I’m going to vomit.

  I close my eyes, terrified. The guy who smells like a bar pushes me into the taller guy, who holds onto me and pulls my dress up. My panties and stockings are in my purse.

  “Please don’t do this. I really have to go,” I say with a shaky voice. Tears well up in my eyes.

  “Shh, it’ll be over in a minute. Just enjoy it. It seems you’re already ready for me. This will be quick,” he says. I hear him unzip his zipper. Then I feel a sharp pain shooting through my pelvis.

  “No, please. Stop! Help,” I scream. The guy behind me brings his hand around my face and covers my mouth.

  “Come on, play nice. Don’t make us hurt you. God, you smell so fucking good.” The guy behind me licks my neck. “Malik, hurry the hell up. I need a piece of this pussy.” He laughs.

  “Please,” I cry, my voice muffled as Malik pushes himself further in.

  “Damn, I knew you would be good, but not this fucking good,” he says as he rubs my breast.

  “Please just let me go. It hurts. Please stop,” I beg. He pushes in and out of me. It hurts so bad. I’ve never felt a pain like this.

  “Mmm. Almost, baby. Just enjoy it.” My mind is so blank. I need to yell. I try, but the hand over my mouth is preventing me from doing so. “Ahh…Goddamn, this is the best pussy I’ve had all week.”

  “Come on, man, take a fucking break. Give me a turn.” I feel how aroused he is behind me. “Fuck this, I’m going in.”

  He tries to push himself in me from behind. This can’t be fucking happening. God, please make them stop. Malik pulls out and pushes me to the ground. My spine burns with pain as my back hits the asphalt. I look around, trying to see if anyone is nearby.

  The guy I assume is Conner leaps on top of me. He is much larger that Malik. He grabs my arms, pins them to the ground, and continues his rhythm. I try to not look at him. I close my eyes, praying that someone will help me. My body’s tense. I can’t do anything except lie there while he continues to take what isn’t his.

  “So glad you walked our way tonight. We almost gave up. Then you walked out and I knew I had to be inside of you.”

  He groans as the other guy watches and cheers him on. I feel a sharp pain shoot through my body as he flips me over and rams himself into my forbidden area.

  “I’ll do whatever you want. Please, just stop hurting me,” I beg.

  “Princess, you keep talking like that and I’m going to have to shove something in that mouth of yours.” He laughs. “Now, be a good girl. I’m going to come soon. Then you can go back to fucking that loser, Black.”

  Conner slams my face into the ground. When he finishes, Malik takes another turn. I close my eyes tighter. Suddenly, I feel a sharp pain across the back of my head.

  Everything goes black.

  ***

  When I wake up, I’m lying on the ground behind the house the party is at. There’s no one around. It’s dark, but I can still see that I have dirt all over my body and I’m lying in my own vomit. I grab my purse, hands shaky, and eyes blurry. My legs are covered in blood. My entire lower extremity is sore.

  I call Blake. I know he will come and get me. I can’t call my parents. It rings three times and then he answers.

  “Freshie, do you know what time it is?”

  “I need help. I don’t know who else to call.” I start to cry.

  “Where are you?”

  “Party still. I think behind…out back, behind the house. They made me.”

  “I’m on my way. Don’t hang up. Talk to me. What happened?”

  “Not sure. They…they made me,” I whisper.

  “Who? Who made you?”

  “Please, just help me.”

  He curses. “Son of a bitch. Whoever hurt you will pay. I’m almost there. Don’t hang up.”

  I sit on the cold ground with my arms wrapped around my legs. My hair is matted to my head. One of my shoes is broken. My dress is ripped and I smell like beer. My head is pounding. There are beer bottles lying next to me. I pick one up and throw it. It hits a trashcan. I can’t believe I allowed this to happen to me.

  I really fucked up. I had sex with three guys in one night. Way to go, Alyssa. That’s exactly what Seth would have wanted you to do. I hug myself tighter. I feel nauseous.

  I hear a car pulling up. Then I see lights and realize that Blake is here. He came to save me. He puts the car in park and jumps out.

  “Sweetie, what happened?” he asks with a shaky voice. I run into his arms and melt into his embrace.

  “You left and I was going home. They stopped me and wouldn’t let me leave. I tried to get away. It hurt so much,” I cry. “I begged them to stop. No one heard me.”

  “Fuck,” he says, running his hands through his hair. He picks me up and carries me to his car.

  “My body is so sore. They just wouldn’t stop.”

  “I’m so sorry. I had to go to work. That’s the only reason I left you. I promise you that. Who the fuck was it?” he yells.

  “I…I think it was Conner and Malik. I must have fainted.”

  “I’m taking you to the hospital.”

  “No, I can’t. My parents cannot find out about this.”

  “Alyssa, they fucking raped you. You need to turn it in,” he yells.

  “No, I can’t! I won’t hurt my parents and their name like that.”

  “What is wrong with you? Why are you like this?”

  “Hmm, let’s see. My boyfriend was killed in a motorcycle crash last year. I’ve never even kissed anyone other than him until you. Then you fuck me and leave me all alone, and then two of the most popular guys here rape me. Yeah, that’s my fucked up life. According to Malik, I wanted it because of the way I was dressed.”

  “Fuck,” he roars. “You never told me Seth was dead. You said you weren’t together.” He angrily beats the steering wheel with his fist. “I’m so sorry. I’m so fucking sorry. They will pay for this.”

  “What was I supposed to say? Hey, I’m Alyssa, and by the way, the only man I’ve ever loved is dead. How’s that for an introduction?”

  “I’m going to fucking kill the two of them. I saw them earlier. I should have never left you alone, but I had to cover a shift tonight. That’s where I was when you called. I just walked out when I heard
you crying. I care about you, babe. I know we could never have anything, but I like you.”

  “You like me? Yay, the Double B likes me. Y’all hear that? Well, I’m glad, because it would have been odd screaming my name while you were buried balls deep in my pussy if you didn’t.”

  “Don’t be a bitch,” he whispers.

  “Fuck you, you can’t tell me what to be. Fuck you. Just take me home. I never want to see you again.” He has the nerve to call me a bitch. He left me. He fucking left me there.

  “You’re mad at yourself, not me. I still think you should press charges.”

  “I can’t even fucking remember what happened. All I know is I felt a sharp pain and they both kept fucking me over and over. They sure had a good time,” I cry out. “This wasn’t in my plan for the night. I only wanted to be with you,” I whisper.

  “I should have taken you home. I’m so fucking stupid.” He pulls into the parking lot of my dorm, opens my door, and carries me to my room.

  “You can leave now,” I growl as soon as he puts me down.

  “I’m not going anywhere. I’m staying with you tonight. Fuck all the dorm rules and regulations. I’m not leaving you alone. Babe, I really think you should at least get checked out. You could be seriously injured.”

  “I’m not going to the goddamn hospital. I’m fine…Well, I will be.”

  As I stumble into my dorm, I feel like I’ve had way too much to drink. I walk straight to the bathroom and step in the shower with my dress and shoes on. I turn the water on as hot as I can stand it. I pull my wet dress off and kick my heels off. I pour body wash over me and wash my body. The hot water runs down my body. Every time I close my eyes, I can feel those pigs on me.

  Blake sits next to the shower the entire time. When I step out, he helps me dry off. I put on a t-shirt and sweat pants. Still feeling naked, I throw on a sweatshirt.

  I brush my teeth and notice that Blake is sitting on the side of the bed. At some point while I was getting dressed, he must have left the bathroom. “Come on, I’ll hold you all night. I’m not leaving, so just lay down.”

  “Thank you,” I say as I crawl under the cover, my back to Blake. I reach under my pillow for my picture of Seth and hold it in my hand.

  He tightens his grip around my waist. “Is that him?” He breathes into my hair.

  “Yep,” I say, snuggling the picture. It’s worn because I’ve been sleeping with it for almost two years now, even before he died. I know that’s very unhealthy, but it comforts me.

  “Tell me about him,” he says, kissing the back of my head.

  Sighing, I wipe a few tears as I squeeze the picture tighter. “We were so in love. We dated about two years. He went off to college. I was still a senior in high school and had another year left. I was going to follow him after I graduated. Then that night changed everything.”

  “I’m sorry. I should have never left you tonight.”

  “Well, we did exactly what you wanted us to do since we met. I’m going to sleep now.”

  He kisses the back of my head. “You’re too good for me. You deserve so much more,” he says, hugging me tighter.

  ***

  “Alyssa, wake up,” Mal says.

  “Go away,” I yell. I feel around for Blake and find a note instead. I quickly read it.

  Freshie,

  I’m so sorry that all this happened to you. I should have never fucking left you. I’ll never leave you again. You’re amazing, and I promise you, they will pay for what they did to you.

  Always, Double B

  “Nope, get the hell up. Look, I have something to show you,” she says. God only knows what she wants to show me. Probably a hickey or flowers, cheesy shit like that. That’s just the type of girl she is. She dotes on the smallest things.

  “What? I’m up.” I see the cup of coffee in her hand and take it. “Thanks for this.” I take a sip and rub my eyes. There is mascara all over my hand.

  “You look like crap. You fucked Blake, didn’t you?”

  “Yep, that’s exactly what we did. We fucked! Then he left me alone in the room, and I didn’t see him again until I called him to come back because I was raped by two fucks that I don’t even know. Then Blake held me all night. Left me with this,” I say, shoving the note in her face.

  “Hold up. Are you fucking serious? Did you call the cops? Oh, my God, who did that to you? I’m so sorry,” she says, wrapping her arms around me. “I’m so sorry. I know you haven’t been with anyone else since Seth. My God, how could Blake be so insensitive? I’m going to kill him. He should have never left you alone.”

  “It’s all good. This is me now. The person I was before Seth died last year,” I say, wiping my face. “I need to shower. I have to work in a few hours. I feel like they’re still on top of me. I’m not sure what happened. I blacked out.”

  “Don’t go to work. Call in. We should go to the police.”

  “Nope, I’ll be okay. I do want to learn some karate, though. Can you check into it for us?”

  “I sure will, babe,” she says, hugging me tighter. “I love you.”

  “Love you too. Oh, what did you want to show me?”

  “The watch that Elliott bought me.” She wrinkles her nose and shows me. “I thought it was something you would like.”

  “It’s gorgeous. He has good taste.”

  I get in the shower and cry all over again. I wash my skin so hard that it turns red. I’ll never get the scent of them off of me.

  Going into work is the last thing I want to do, but I need to. I keep seeing their faces over and over and hearing their laughs. The smell of their breath, cigarettes, and Heineken still lingers. I need to come up with a payback.

  I can’t tell my parents, so I can’t go to the cops. If Blake doesn’t help me, I’ll have to take care of this myself. I’ll take down those two fucks that took the little of myself I had left. Not only did they rape me, over and over. They took all the self-respect I had for myself.

  Chapter Four

  Alyssa

  I’ve been attending the NYU a little over a year now. It’s been a crazy year. Mal, Cara, and I moved out of our dorms and got a small apartment. I received an internship at Harrington and Bissell and I’m still working at the café. I still talk to Blake here and there, mainly when we’re both looking for a good fuck. My nights are spent with a bottle and some random hookup. No more crying. I’ve put all of Seth’s things, including pictures, in a box and shipped them to my parents’ house. I don’t need it all here.

  Today I’m meeting up with a guy that Mal set me up with. She swears he’s hot as hell. I guess I’ll see soon enough. Cara and I are sitting at Zeb’s, which is a local bar. This tall, tan, southern boy walks in. He takes the stage. As soon as he opens his mouths and starts singing, I get goosebumps in areas I didn’t know I could. I watch as he picks at his guitar and sings the lyrics of Rascal Flatts’ “Life is a Highway.” I watch every move he makes.

  I realize I’ve seen him at the café before. I know for a fact he isn’t from here. I look around for the guy I was supposed to be meeting here. I don’t see anyone that could be him, so I focus all of my attention on the sexy stranger that just gave me chills with his voice. After he walks off the stage, I pray he’ll approach us. He and his friend do.

  I smile. “Hey.”

  “Hey, y’all. I’m Evan Martin, and you are?” he asks.

  “Alyssa…Alyssa Sommers.” I smile. “You’re not the guy I was supposed to meet, are you? My friend was setting me up on a blind date.”

  “Nope, not that I’m aware of. But I’m glad it was me instead of him.” He laughs.

  After he introduces himself to me and asks if I want to get better acquainted, I take him to the back of the bar. I can’t help but feel attracted to him. I kiss him, then push him against the wall. I’ve learned to give pretty good head in the last year, and Blake swears I’m the best.

  I pull Evan’s pants down and his cock springs forward. I slowly take him in my
mouth. I massage his balls with one hand and place my other hand on his hand, the one that’s on the back of my head, urging him to push my head further. He catches on and does just that. His balls tighten and his grip gets harder. Then he fills my mouth.

  I swallow every drip and release his dick with a plop. Smiling at him, I ask him if he wants to get out of here.

  “Wow, that was…” He runs his hand over his face. “My place or yours?”

  “Yours, if it’s closer,” I say. We make our way back through the bar.

  “It’s a few blocks away, but my car is out front.” I know I shouldn’t be leaving with a man I just met, but hell, what’s the worst that could happen?

  As we leave, I see Cara is still with Evan’s friend. I have no clue where the guy I was supposed to be meeting is. His loss.

  I snagged me a cowboy.

  Chapter Five

  Seven Years Later

  Late January

  Alyssa

  “I don’t get it. You know she’ll hurt you the way they all have. I’m the only one that has always been here for you. Look at what Lila did and you went and slept with her again, even after she was married! Why do you let them do you like this, Evan?” I ask.

  “Sweetie, you and I have always been just friends. That’s it. You knew that we would never make a life together. Tatum and I belong together. So please, just stop calling. I’m sorry. I wish you nothing but the best.”

  “Wait, please,” I whisper. “I love you, I always have. You know, I’ve never told anyone that since Se—In years.” I hug myself.

  “Come on, don’t do this. I have to go, but please, please take care. I’m sure I’ll see you around.” With that, the phone call ends.

  I fall back on my bed, the bed that, not even two months ago, Evan was fucking me senseless in. As I lie there in a fetal position, hugging myself, I wonder what I did to deserve not to be happy. I cry for what seems like hours.

  When I wake up, it’s still dark outside. I look at the clock. It’s only two in the morning. I push myself up from my mattress. I walk into the bathroom, flip the light on, and see that my face is swollen and there are black lines down my cheeks. I turn the water on and place a washcloth under the warm water.