by Delisa Lynn
“Uh, yeah. No problem. I would never hurt her,” I say with a lump in my throat.
“Okay, good. We never had this conversation.” She laughs. I wink at her and we go back inside.
***
It’s November. Time for me to lose Lila. Her dude is coming home this week. She’s so excited. I’m taking her to the airport. I know that our friendship will change once he comes home, especially if she tells him we slept together.
“Evan, I love you very much, but my heart is Liam’s. I’m so sorry all this happened.” She wipes her tears away.
“I know, babe. Liam is one lucky bastard, that’s for sure.”
I kiss her goodbye. I start walking away, but she comes running back to me. I can hear her yelling. At first, I can’t make out what she’s saying, but then she gets close enough for me to hear her.
“Evan, I love you so much and can’t lose you. I need you in my life too.”
She kisses me hard and passionately. Then she covers her mouth with both hands and takes off running, still crying. Fuck, why the hell is she with him? I hope that we can remain friends. Once she tells Liam about us, he’s probably going to make her stop seeing me. I know I would if she was mine. I would be so jealous.
I walk out of the airport and head to the bar. I need to drink all my sorrows away. Of course, fucking Alyssa is there. I sit and talk to her. She’s seeing a new guy. She begs me to go home with her, but hell, I can’t and won’t. I drink until I can’t drink anymore and go home.
Audrey sees me walking into the loft and starts talking a mile a fucking minute. Sometimes I have no clue what she is saying. She’s babbling about me and Hayden.
“Audrey, I’m really tired and I don’t want company.”
“Well, I wasn’t coming to visit you anyway, dick prick! I was just wondering why you fucked everything with Hayden up. All she wanted to do was bang your fine ass, but you turned her down. She wanted no strings attached, you dumbass.”
Then she storms off. Damn, someone needs to buy that girl some soap for her fucking mouth. I walk in the door and see Brody pacing back and forth. He looks pissed. Jesus, what the hell now?
“Everything okay, man?” I ask as I close the door.
“Dude, Nikki has a boyfriend! That’s the whole reason she moved home.” That must be why none of the girls would say anything.
“Damn, bro. That sucks, I’m sorry she did that to you.”
I grab a beer and sit on the couch. I turn on the TV and flip through the channels for what feels like forever. I can’t sit still, though. Lila is probably with Liam already and it’s driving me crazy.
“Hey, let’s go to a party. I heard there is one that Miles and his crew is throwing,” Brody says, looking at his phone. “Zander texted me and said he’s going.”
“Fuck yeah! I’m in, let’s go.”
I need this. I shower and get ready for the party. Brody and I ride together. I’m not planning on hooking up with anyone anyway. Miles always throws bad ass parties, but there are always so many girls, none of them my type. They sleep with every man at the party. Perfect for Brody and Zander.
I notice Audrey is here with Hayden. I try to avoid them, but hell, I’m drunk and want to dance. I start dancing with some of the girls. All of a sudden, I hear Zander yelling and see blood flying. Audrey is crying and trying to pull Zander off of some dude.
“Zan, come on, bro. Whoever it is, it’s not worth it! Let’s go, now.”
I pull his arm. He lets me drag him out. Brody is right behind us, along with Audrey and Hayden. I have no fucking clue what the hell happened.
“Okay, somebody want to tell me what that was all about?” I yell once we get around the corner. Audrey is still crying and shaking and holding on to Brody. Zander has a busted lip and a swollen eye. Hayden is just tagging along.
“That guy was grinding on me and I asked him to stop, but then he pushed me against the wall and wouldn’t keep his hands off of me. I tried kicking him in his balls, but I couldn’t get my fucking leg from his. That motherfucking cock sucker had my damn legs and my arms pinned against the wall with his raunchy pussy breath all in my face,” Audrey says, now clinging to Zan.
“He had no right to fucking touch her like that. That’s why I beat the shit out of him. She asked him to stop and he didn’t. I could see her out the corner of my eye. I walked over and he makes it seem like she wanted to be shoved up against the goddamn wall, so he got what he deserved.” Zander sits down on a bench.
“Ahh hell, Audrey, are you okay?” I saw that guy, but I didn’t realize that he was hurting Audrey.
“I…I’m fine, thanks to Zander. If he hadn’t come, that son of a bitch was going to fucking have his way with me, and he was much stronger than me. I couldn’t even get my knife out of my purse,” she says as she wipes her tears.
“Well, I’m glad you’re okay. Let’s try not to stab anyone. We can’t have you going to jail.” I hug her. She’s a sweet and beautiful girl. She just talks too much for me.
While walking to the parking lot, I notice that Brody and Hayden are hand in hand. When we get to the car, Zan and Audrey get in with me. Brody says he’s going back with Hayden. Well, Hayden is finally getting her some tonight because Brody will damn sure fuck her.
“Zander, thank you so much. You are my hero for the night. I wanted to chop his fucking balls off and shove them up his nose.”
Zander puts his arm around her and says, “Audrey, no one will ever hurt you. I promise you that.”
We all go back to my place, where we drink some more and play cards. I really think I see a future for the two of them. I go to bed and leave them playing cards. I’m mentally, emotionally, and physically drained. I just need to go to bed. It would be nice if I had a woman to lay next to me. Hell, maybe I should get a damn dog. At least a dog wouldn’t leave me for someone else.
***
I awake to the sound of my phone ringing. I look at the clock. It’s eight thirty in the morning. What the fuck? Can’t these people let me sleep? I don’t even see who is calling. I just slide the answer button over and say, “Yeah, do you know what time it is?” Ahh fuck, it’s Lila, and she’s sobbing. “Calm down. What’s wrong?”
“Liam never came back.”
“What do you mean he never came back? I thought you were with Liam this whole time.”
She won’t stop crying. “No, he never made it back to California.”
“Lila, baby, do you need me to come over?” I ask. I jump up and start looking for some clothes.
“Yes. Evan, I need you now,” she says through her sobs.
I put some clothes on and throw some clothes in a bag. I like to have extra in my car. She sounded so upset, I know I’ll be with her all day. What does she mean he never came back? I hope he isn’t hurt.
I pull into the parking lot and skip every other step trying to get to her. She looks awful. Her hair is on top of her head and it looks like she hasn’t brushed it for a week. Her mascara is drizzled down her face. She’s wearing Liam’s army t-shirt and a pair of sweats.
“Oh, baby, what’s wrong?” I ask as I hold her in my arms. She’s crying so hard, every other word is a sob, then a snort.
“He…he…he’s gone. He didn’t come,” snort, “back to me. He never showed up. I,” snort, “haven’t talked to him since January and I haven’t heard from him since May. He left me all alone. He said he would be back, and now I’m all alone.” She cries in my arms.
“It’s okay. He’ll be back. Maybe his assignment was longer and he can’t call right now. Everything will be okay. I’m here and I’m not going anywhere. Look at me. Did you hear me? I’m not going anywhere.”
I hug her tight. She’s shaking so bad. She must have been here all week like this. I don’t know if I should be angry that she hadn’t called me until now or just let it go.
“Please stay with me. I need you to stay. Please don’t leave me too.”
Oh hell, how can I tell her no? As much as I
know I shouldn’t stay, I could never leave her like this, not now. She needs me, and when I needed her, she was right there for me.
“I will stay. I’m not going anywhere, Lila. I will always be here for you.”
I pull her on my lap. I sit and cradle her in my lap while she cries for another man. She finally falls asleep in my arms. I carry her to her bed and lay her down. Even in the mess she’s in, she’s still as beautiful as ever. I cover her up and lightly kiss her cheek.
“No, Evan. Stay, hold me,” she says as she scoots over. I climb into bed and hold her, just as she asked. I hope that I can soothe her broken heart. It’s hurting me, seeing her like this.
She cries for hours. Finally, her breathing returns to normal. She’s holding onto me so tight, I can’t move.
Chapter Seventeen
Evan
It’s been a week since Lila had her melt down. Liam hasn’t contacted her at all. No one knows where he is. I hope he’s okay.
I have a special trip planned for her. I’m taking her to this campground in upstate New York called Black Bear.
I pack blankets, food, hot chocolate, coffee, and extra clothes. I know she’s hurting, and I want to try and make her feel better. She seems lost sometimes and I don’t know if I can help her heal, but she’s helping me heal. The more time I spend with her, the less I think and worry about Tatum. Hell, who am kidding? I will always worry about her.
“Hey, did you sleep well?” I ask Lila as she slides in the car.
She kisses my cheek. “Good morning. I did, actually. Where are we going?”
“You’ll see. I figured we both could use this little getaway. I’ve packed everything, so we’ll be fine,” I say as I rest my hand on her thigh.
“You always know how to make me smile, Evan.”
I wink. I drive for about an hour and stop at a gas station, fill up the tank, and grab some chips and water. We don’t have much further to go. About a half hour later, I see the huge sign showing a black bear. Lila has a strange look on her face. I turn to her and say, “It’s a campground. I don’t think there are any bears, though.”
She smiles and says, “I hope not.”
When we get there, I unpack the blankets and picnic basket and sit them on the ground, next to a tree. Lila looks so beautiful. She’s wearing a pair of tight jeans and a low cut sweater. She has on a brown peacoat that hugs her body and, of course, she’s wearing a pair of brown Ugg boots. Her hair is straight and spread out over her shoulders. She has on that glittery pink lip gloss that actually tastes pretty damn good.
“Have you been here before?” she asks as she steps closer to me.
“No, darlin’. This is my first time. I wanted to bring you here to talk and clear our minds. I know we both have had a lot going on lately, so I felt we needed a break. I know, with everything going on with Liam, you’re lost and confused. Please know I’m here for you, baby.” I pull her in for a hug.
“Thank you. You will never know how much you truly mean to me. I do love you, I hope you know that. I will always love Liam. I just wish I knew exactly where he is.”
I hug her tight, then pull away and lift her chin with my fingers. I can see tears in her eyes ready to drop at any second. I want to kiss her so fucking bad, but I don’t. I overstepped my boundaries once with her, and she’s made it clear her heart is Liam’s.
“Lila, it’s okay to cry. If you want to talk, I’m here. That’s why we are here together, to talk and get everything out. If you need to cuss, yell, and cry, do it. I will hug you as much as you want me to.”
“How the hell did I get so lucky to have you in my life? You are one of the sweetest guys I have ever met. You have a huge heart, and you love unconditionally. That’s one of the reasons I love you. Well, that and you are a mighty fine looking man,” she says with a wink.
“You, my dear, are beautiful. I could look at you all day long and not get tired of it.” I kiss her forehead. I sit on the blanket and she joins me. She pulls her knees into her chest and hugs them. I can tell she’s thinking about everything that’s going on.
“Please tell me you brought hot chocolate? I’m freezing,” she says as she pulls the blanket around her.
“Do you really think I would bring you here without coffee and hot chocolate?” I laugh. I pour a cup of hot chocolate.
“Did you bring your guitar?”
“Of course I did.”
“Will you sing to me? Please?” She smiles and flashes her dimples.
“I will sing whenever you want me to.”
I grab my guitar out of the car and go back to a smiling Lila. She’s curled up in the blanket, sipping her cup of hot chocolate. Damn, even with all those clothes and a blanket wrapped around her, she’s sexy.
I start singing the lyrics of Daughtry’s “Start of Something Good” and Lila just sits there, staring at me. I feel every lyric in my heart. The song is touching her just as much as it’s touching me. Tears form in my eyes. I don’t care if they fall and she sees them. I want her to know exactly how I feel about her.
“Evan, that was amazing. I love your voice, and I love the fact that when you sing to me, you don’t take your eyes off of mine.”
“Thanks. I love singing to you.” I lean over and kiss her cheek. Just then, she turns my face to hers and pulls me in for a kiss. A groan escapes my mouth as she slides her tongue between my lips. Her tongue touches mine. I can feel my dick trying to escape my boxers. I have to readjust myself. She starts laughing. Hell, she knows exactly what she does to me.
“I don’t know what’s going to happen,” she says, “but right now, I know I want you.”
She kisses me again. This time, the kiss isn’t as gentle. It’s hard, sensual. Gripping the back of my head, she pushes her body into mine. “Take me now. Please make love to me here,” she begs as she dry humps me.
“Lila, that’s not what I brought you out here for. Trust me, I want to fuck you more than anything, but I can’t.”
I back away from her. Goddamn it, this is the Tatum situation all over again. How in the hell can I be in love with both these girls and they both belong to someone else and are begging me to make love to them? I start pacing back and forth. I want to take her right here. I want to be deep inside of her and hear her screaming my name, telling me how much she wants me, but it’s all wrong. She has someone else to say those things to.
“Will you look at me? I need you and only you. This is about you and me and no one else. I love you so much. I can’t imagine my life without you. Liam isn’t here. I don’t know where he is. I want to be with you. Please don’t turn away from me. I know this is hurting you as much as it is me,” she says as she wraps her arms around my waist. Here she is, wanting me to make love to her, and I’m crying like a bitch.
I grab Lila by the waist and kiss her. She drops the blanket. I take her coat off, then her shirt, and she starts undressing me as she kicks her boots off. I pull my pants down. I’m so fucking hard my dick hurts. I know she can feel it as I push up against her.
“Evan, now. I need you now…please.”
I kiss her breasts. “I don’t have any condoms. I wasn’t planning on doing this,” I say as I kiss her breast.
She kisses my neck. “Don’t need it, I’m on the pill.”
“You sure? I’ve never been bareback with anyone.”
“I’m sure. Now, please. I want you.”
She wraps her legs around my waist. I push her back up against the tree and guide myself into her sweetness. Being inside of her feels so good. She’s so tight and wet. I can feel her juices running down my balls.
“Oh God…Evan, please go deeper. I want to feel all of you. It’s been too fucking long since I had you and I want it all. Oh God, I love you so much.”
“I love you too, baby. Always have and always will.”
I push deeper into her. She screams my name, her panting making her breathless. My balls tighten, and I know it won’t be long before I come.
I gi
ve her one last thrust. “I need to pull out. I’m getting ready to come.”
“No, I want all of you. Please come in me, Evan. The pill, I’m on the pill. Let it go, baby. Come with me.”
She wraps her legs around me tighter and pushes her body further down on me.
“Lila! Oh good God,” I roar as I come inside of her.
“That was wonderful.” She kisses my cheek.
“It was,” I say, trying to catch my breath. It’s, at most, thirty degrees and there’s snow on the ground, but we made each other so damn hot. We get dressed, lie back down, and talk. I want to make sure she’s okay and that she doesn’t have any regrets.
“Lila, are we okay? I know that you love Liam and will always go back to him, but I can’t lose you. Hell, I would marry you if I could. You mean so much to me,” I say as I rub my hand across her cheek.
“Please know that I will always go back to Liam, but right now, I am with you. I want to see where this will go, if you will allow that.”
“Anything you want,” I say, fully aware that it will kill me if he shows back up, “as long as I have you in some way.”
I kiss her hand. “If you could go anywhere in the world, where would you go?”
“Paris. I have always wanted to go there.”
“Someday, my love. Someday, we will go.” I hug her.
We lie there for what seems like hours and then get ready to head back to the city. I have some work I need to get done before Monday.
It’s really late when we get back, so I carry her into my loft and lay her in my bed. I sleep with her in my arms all night long. Liam is so lucky to have her heart. I want it so bad, and he has it.
Chapter Eighteen
Evan
It’s been a little over three weeks since Lila and I made love at Black Bear. She still hasn’t heard anything from Liam. I want to surprise her and take her out for her birthday. I have so much to do at the office, and she said she just wanted some alone time, so I worked and let her have her time, but come December 22nd, she’s spending the evening with me.