by Delisa Lynn
I know that neither Nikki nor Addison will be able to come to New York for her birthday, so I figure I’m the next best thing. I made reservations at Digordo’s, an Italian restaurant in Jersey City. It’ll be a bit of a drive, but I know we both need it. So much has been going through my mind since the day she told me she wants to see where our relationship can go. I just don’t know what to do about it all.
As I’m leaving the office, my phone starts ringing. I pull it out of my pocket and look at the screen. Lila’s name flashes across the screen. She said she wanted alone time, but maybe she changed her mind.
“Hello, darlin’,” I say with a smile, but a man’s voice comes through on the other end.
“Hi, sir. Is this Evan?” he asks.
“Yes, this is Evan…” I reply, unable to hide my confusion. Who is this man? Why is he calling me?
“This is Vin, a friend of Liam’s. I’m with Lila and she needs you right now. Can you please come over to her place?”
“Okay, I’m on my way.” I throw my briefcase back on my desk. I have no clue what’s going on.
I drive as fast as I can to Lila’s place. When I walk through the door, I see a young man with an army hat on. Lila makes a mad dash toward me and starts sobbing as I pull her into my arms. She can’t get any words out, just sobs.
“Sir, Liam was in a crash six months ago and they can’t find him. He gave me some things to bring to Lila if he hadn’t returned. I’m sorry I had to be the one to tell her.”
“Thank you for coming, Vin. I won’t leave her alone. If you hear anything else, can you please let us know?” I ask as I shake his hand.
He hugs Lila and leaves. My girl is a mess. She won’t speak at all. She just cries. I call Brody and Nikki, then Lila’s parents. Nikki is going to tell The Ellis’.
Brody brings me some clothes over and a pizza. Lila still won’t eat anything. It hurts me so damn much to see her like this. She’s like a zombie.
I make some coffee. She won’t drink that either, so I hold her in my arms and let her cry for the man she loves, the other man who has everything I want.
I awake to the sound of Lila’s phone. It’s been ringing nonstop since last night. I talk to her mom and to her friends. Nikki is flying out today, Lila’s birthday. I try to get her to shower, but she won’t.
Eric, her brother, calls, and she finally talks to him. He’s hurting as bad as she is. I can hear it in his voice. She’s been holding a letter from Liam for hours, but she hasn’t opened it.
“Come on, Lila. You have to take a shower,” I say as I pull her off the couch. She’s still in the same clothes she had on yesterday and her hair is in a very messy bun on top of her head. There are tear stains on her face.
“No.” She curls up in a small ball on her couch. There’s a blanket wrapped around her and she’s gripping the pillow that she’s been crying into. Except to use the bathroom, I don’t think she’s left the couch since Vin left.
I look at Brody. Immediately, he knows what I want to do. He goes into the bathroom and starts the shower. I throw Lila over my shoulder. She doesn’t say a word until she realizes what my plans are. I stand her in the shower. The water hits her face and she screams. Tears start pouring from her eyes.
“What the fuck are you doing?” I feel bad for standing her in there fully clothed, but it had to be done.
“You need to shower. Now, you clean yourself or I’ll do it for you,” I say as I step in the shower with all my clothes and start undressing her.
“No, I’m not showering. Leave me alone, Evan. Just fucking leave. I don’t need you here! I don’t need anyone. I don’t want to take a shower, nor do I need your goddamn pity. Go! I’m a big girl and can take care of my damn self. I don’t need a babysitter, so take your friend and all your shit and get the fuck out of my place.”
She pounds my chest with her little fist. I’m not leaving her like this. She can hate me all she wants, but I’m not going any fucking where. I move her so her back is against my chest. I hold her arms to her chest. I feel bad for holding her down like this, but she’s acting crazy.
“Lila, either you do this, or I will,” I say as calmly and as sternly as I can. I feel like I’m scolding a child. She just stands there, staring at me, like she isn’t comprehending what I’m saying. I pull her shorts and panties down and start washing her off. I clean her entire body, including her hair. I’m soaked. I’m glad Brody brought me some more clothes.
I dry her off and dress her. I spray her favorite body spray on her, brush her hair out, and put it back in a ponytail. She just sits there in silence while I do it all.
“Okay. You can brush your teeth, or I will.”
I pick up her toothbrush. She stares at me, her baby blue eyes swollen and red. Her lips and nose are red and swollen as well.
She takes her toothbrush out of my hand, picks up the toothpaste, and turns the water on. Her hands are shaking as she struggles to squeeze the paste out of the tube. I stand behind her and wrap my arms around her stomach. I love the way she smells. I inhale before I speak and say, “You will be okay. I’m not going anywhere. I promise you that.”
She brushes her teeth, then kisses my lips and hugs me tighter than anyone ever has. I see the tears getting ready to pour again. I just keep kissing her forehead.
“Evan, can I be alone to read Liam’s letter? Then I will come out and eat something. What day is it?” she asks as she sits on the bed and reaches for her iPod.
“Take your time. And it’s December twenty second, your birthday.” I kiss her cheek.
I walk out the door and close it. Hell, who the fuck am I kidding? I’m ready to have a crying fit myself. She is so hurt and I know her heart is breaking. I don’t know the dude and I hated him because he had everything I wanted, but I’m upset that something happened to him. It’s not fair to him or Lila.
Just as I pour a cup of coffee, Nikki and Brody walk in. I can tell Nikki has been crying. She’s good friends with Liam’s family. She runs over and hugs me.
“How is our girl?” she asks as she grabs a bottle of water out of the refrigerator. I sigh, take a drink of my coffee, and run my hand over my face.
“Better than last night. She’s a mess, though. She’s reading his letter, the one that guy brought. He also brought a box of pictures and some clothes.”
“Well, we need to get her out of the house tonight. She can’t sit here and mourn this way,” Nikki says as she hugs me again.
“I know. I’m really worried about her. I’m not sure how she’ll recover from this.”
***
Nikki, Brody, and I made Lila go to dinner and bowling for her birthday. It was such a clusterfuck. She was a mess. Nikki had to fight with her just to get her to go.
Today is Christmas Eve and Nikki is flying back to Ohio. Brody left for Utah this morning. Lila is doing a little better. We’re going to spend Christmas at my loft.
I can’t wait to give Lila her gifts. I saw a bracelet at the mall a couple weeks ago and knew it was for her. It’s white gold with purple and yellow butterflies between each diamond. It was expensive, but she’s worth it. I also got her a pair of those damn boots she loves.
I cooked turkey breast, stuffing, mashed potatoes, and green beans. I’ve never really cooked like that before, but I figured I could give it a try. Lila made apple pie. Well, she opened the box and followed the instructions.
“Evan, that was wonderful. I didn’t think you could cook like that. I’ll have to call your gran and tell her that she taught you well,” Lila says as she clears the table.
“Thanks, and I’m sure she would love that.” I grab a beer. “Now, let’s open gifts.”
I hand her the box with the bracelet first. I think I see tears in her eyes as she opens it. She has a butterfly tattoo and it looks identical to the bracelet.
She kisses my cheek. “It’s just like my tattoo. I love it!”
“When I saw it at the store, I thought of you. Here is another one.”
I hand her the bag with the boots.
“Oh my God, I love them! Thank you!”
She hands me a large box. It’s wrapped so nicely. My mouth drops after I open it. It’s a new briefcase and an awesome guitar strap.
“Lila, you shouldn’t have.”
I kiss her for the first time since we last had sex. She doesn’t hold back. She kisses me as hard as I kissed her. God, I love this woman. She’s going to break my heart, for sure. Tomorrow morning, she’s leaving to go home. Her family is going to find out what is going on with Liam. She’ll be gone a couple of weeks and I know I’ll be lonely without her.
***
Lila left a week ago and here I am, bored out of my fucking mind, even though there’s plenty of shit for me to do. Now that I’m not with Lila, my mind has been stuck on Tatum. I saw Audrey the night before at a party and she said that Ta is still with Thayer, but that’s all she would say.
Maybe I should go see my dad. I know he misses my mom as much as I do. I just hate going back there. I think about seeing if he would just meet me in Birmingham, but then I would probably run into Tatum and Thayer somewhere…
I text Lila to see how she is doing.
Me: Hey darlin’ how’s it going? I miss you so fucking bad.
Lila: Nothing new…I miss you too Evan. I won’t be back for a week or two. I’m going to see Ads and Eric.
Me: Ugh…You’re killing me. Stay safe. I love you sweetheart.
Lila: I will, and I <3 you!
I call Zeb’s to see if I can play. They say they have openings all week. Instead of going to Utah, I go to Zeb’s. I haven’t run into Alyssa for a while, but, of course, the first face I see at the bar is hers. She never changes. She’s always running her cocksucker.
“Hey, Evan. Where is your little friend?” she asks as she puts her hands on her hips.
“None of your business, and her name is Lila,” I growl.
“Uh, duh. I know what her name is. I just can’t stand her or her name.” She rubs my arm. I shove my arm away from her. I can’t stand her half the damn time, but she’s always trying to touch me. She’s wearing a skanky dress.
“Shouldn’t you go put some clothes on? No one wants to see that.” I take a swig of my drink. I’m drinking a screwdriver tonight. Beer just wouldn’t help with the way I’m feeling.
“Fuck you, jerk! You weren’t complaining the last time you had your cock buried in my pussy, making me scream your name, now were you?” She throws her drink in my face.
“No, fuck you. You are nothing but a goddamn whore,” I say as I walk to the back room to clean myself up. Just as I close the door, it flings open again. It’s Alyssa. She has that hungry look in her eyes. Why won’t she just leave me alone?
“Evan, I want you. Please take me here,” she says as she tries kissing me.
“Get the hell out of here. Hell no, I’m not touching you.” I push her away from me.
“Please, just take me here. I miss you and the way you fuck me.” She pulls her dress up and starts rubbing herself. Holy hell, this bitch is crazy.
“Alyssa, I have to go. I’m not touching you tonight or any other night.”
“Oh, Evan, you know you want me. Come. On. Fuck. Me.” She slides another finger inside of her opening.
I walk to the door. It’s locked. As I try unlocking it, she’s behind me, trying to pull my shirt off. I’m not a mean person. I’m trying to keep my cool with her, but I’m not going to fuck her.
“Alyssa, get the fuck away from me. I won’t tell you again!” I yell.
“Fine, you’re no fun.” She pulls her dress down. “I just want to give you what I know that bitch doesn’t.”
I unlock the door and walk straight to my car. There’s no way I’m singing tonight.
Chapter Nineteen
Evan
Lila has been back for over a month. We see each other daily. She goes to class during the day and spends her evenings with me. She still hasn’t heard anything from Liam, nor did she find out much of anything when she went back home. I’d be lying if I said it doesn’t make me happy that she’s not talking to him. She’s mine, at least for now, and I’m content with that. If I can’t have anything to do with Tatum Kelley, then I’ll take the next best thing—Lila Carls.
While working at the office, I receive a text from Lila.
Lila: Can you come over?
Me: Everything Ok?
Lila: Yes, just need to talk to you.
Thoughts start running through my mind. What if Liam is back? What if she never wants to see me again? My mind is spinning. I don’t know how I even manage to drive to her place. I walk through the door and see Lila sitting on the couch. There are several Walgreen’s bags sprawled across the counter as well as several pregnancy test boxes.
“Lila, you okay, love?” I ask as I sit next to her.
“Umm, well, I think I’m pregnant,” she says with tears in her eyes.
“Oh, sweetie, it’s okay. What did the test say?”
“They’re all positive, so I made an appointment and I have to be there in an hour. Will you go with me? Evan, I’m so scared.” She wraps her arms around me.
“Of course I will. This must have happened at Black Bear,” I say. “That’s the only other time we’ve been together.”
She nods, a faraway look in her eyes.
We go to a small clinic close to campus. Lila signs in and has to fill out tons of paperwork. The medical assistant calls her back into a little room. I come with. They take her vitals and have her urinate in a cup. The doctor comes in a few minutes later and says the test is negative, but they want to do a blood test because sometimes that’s the best way to get the true answer. I stay with her. Watching them stick that needle in her arm makes me feel uneasy. After they finish, I offer to take her to dinner to talk about everything.
“Can we just go back to the loft and have pizza? I’m really not up for a restaurant tonight.”
“Sure, that’s fine with me. I think Brody is out for the evening anyway. Do you want our usual? I’ll order and pick it up before we get there.”
“Yes, that’s fine. Extra cheese and extra mushroom, please,” she says with a smile.
“Anything for you, sweetheart.”
I order Lila’s favorite, a large pizza with chicken, bacon, and sausage, and a couple cans of cherry coke. She only drinks pop when she eats pizza. Any other times, it’s tea or wine. We pick it up and go to the loft. As we walk in, I see Audrey and Hayden walking out. Neither one of them speaks. I just smile as they give me evil eyes. I place my hand in the small of Lila’s back. Audrey is shooting me daggers.
Lila laughs. “Evan, I don’t think your friends like me.”
“Well, I love you, so that’s all that matters.”
I know exactly why they don’t like her. I never told Lila about my date with Hayden. Maybe I should have, but hell, it wasn’t anything. We went on one date—technically, half a date—before she left early after I told her I wouldn’t sleep with her.
We snuggle on the couch, eating pizza and watching Big Daddy. Lila is a huge Adam Sandler fan. She falls asleep in my arms.
Her test results should be back in a day or so. I don’t know what to feel. Deep down, I really want her to be pregnant, but I know that’d be all wrong. What if Liam is found? Will she go back to him with my child? No fucking way am I letting that happen. I’m not going to let some other man raise my child.
As I watch her sleep, I notice how tired she is, physically and emotionally. I pick her up, take her to my room, and lay her in the bed. I pull her jeans off, but leave her shirt on. I cover her up, put on some sweats, and snuggle into her body. I kiss the back of her head and whisper, “I love you, Lila.”
***
I awake to Lila cooking breakfast. It smells so good. I have to go into the office today. I wish I could spend the day with her, but I can’t. She probably needs some time alone anyway.
“Morning,” I say as I kiss her cheek. She smiles
up at me and continues cooking. She made eggs, toast, and bacon.
“I hope you’re hungry. I wanted to feed you before I left.” She sets a plate in front of me.
“Of course I am.” I take a bite of toast. “What’s your plans for the day?”
“Going home to do some laundry. I think everything I own needs to be washed,” she says as she takes a bite of bacon.
“Dinner tonight?”
She stands up to get another cup of coffee. “Yup. Come over after work.”
***
The day is dragging. I haven’t heard from Lila. I’ve been busy and haven’t had a chance to call or text. I watch the clock, and as soon as my shift is over, I’m out the door and heading to Li’s place.
I hear music as I walk into Lila’s townhome. I don’t see Lila anywhere, though. I walk in the bedroom and find Lila lying on the floor. She’s wearing Liam’s shirt and holding his letter in one hand and a bottle of wine in the other.
“Oh, hey, sweets, I missed you. I’m not pregnant! The doctor called and said it was probably stress. I’m partying all alone. I love this wine. Want some?” Her words are slurred.
“Lila, I’m glad you’re not pregnant,” I lie. I’m crushed, actually. I would love to have a baby with her. “How much have you had to drink?” I ask as I pick up two empty bottles of Moscato. I need to get some coffee in her.
“Um…” She puts a finger to her mouth. She lets out a small hiccup. She’s so cute. “Maybe three or four bottles, but one was half gone already.”
“Let’s go get you some coffee and food. How about the café?” I pull her in for a hug.
“Okay, let’s go.” She pulls on some sweat pants. Her hair is a mess. I try smoothing it out with my fingers, but it doesn’t work.