Kings of Anarchy

by Caroline Peckham

  The few times I'd seen Tatum, she'd sworn to me that he was doing as well as could be expected. She only left his room to collect the food and water we left out for her and each time she retreated, Saint approached the short hallway which led to mine and Kyan's rooms in a full face mask and gloves and bleached everything within an inch of its life.

  My room had been deemed too close to Kyan's for safety, so I hadn't been back there since his isolation had begun but the camp bed that Monroe had made up for me on the couch had gone unused for the last three nights.

  I'd only slept once. Face down over the toilet in Saint's bathroom after drinking myself into a near coma. The fact that he hadn't forced me out was more than enough to let me know how much he cared. But it didn't change anything. My love for my mom hadn't been enough to save her and our combined love for the asshole in that room down the corridor wouldn’t help him either.

  "You need to get control over yourself," Saint snapped at me as I slumped in Monroe's arms and I was almost certain he was just holding me for support at this point. "He is on day four of the infection already. This is the crucial day. If he makes it through today without bursting any blood vessels in his lungs from the cough, then his chances of survival go up to eighty one percent."

  "How the fuck will we know if he bursts a blood vessel in his damn lungs?" I snapped.

  "Because he will either start coughing up blood or he won't," Saint snarled.

  "And if he does?" I demanded.

  "Then his odds don't improve but they don't worsen either. Not unless that goes on for a second day. Or a third." His delivery was so cold and uncaring that if I didn’t know him, I would have wanted to tear his throat out for it.

  I'd bet Saint would have made an excellent surgeon, perfectly able to put aside any trace of emotion and calculate the odds involved in survival with a steady hand while carving into human flesh. Of course, most people who go into the medical professions did it out of a desire to help other people, so that wouldn't attract him at all.

  "Well excuse me if I'm not jumping for fucking joy at the prospect of spending a day waiting to find out if one of the few people I love in this world is going to start literally coughing his lungs up or not," I snarled, wrenching myself out of Monroe's grip as I stormed towards the door.

  I needed to get out of this fucking place. I needed to get the fuck away from here so that I could just breathe.

  My chest was tightening to the point of pain and there was a ringing in my ears which was only getting louder.

  "Blake!" Monroe called out as I kicked my sneakers on, and I looked up to find him charging my way with the clear intention to stop me from running.

  "Leave him," Saint snapped, catching his arm as he made to move past him. "Blake needs to learn that the whole world won't just come rushing in to save him whenever things get tough. His daddy taught him to be a winner, but he never learned how to take a beating and we have enough real worries to concern us today without us trying to soothe his childlike sense of injustice at the world.”

  "Fuck you," I hissed, his words hitting home like the strike of an arrow and Saint's glare only darkened.

  "We'll be here, waiting on Kyan while he fights for his life and supporting Tatum with anything she needs to help him when you decide to stop pouting and come home," he said icily.

  Monroe was looking at me like my pain hurt him too, but I just sneered in response. I wasn't the one who needed his pity or concern right now, Saint was right about that.

  "I just need some air," I snapped. "I'll be back when I've cleared my head."

  "I can come if you want me to?" Monroe offered even as Saint shook his head in disgust and sat back down before his laptop.

  "No," I replied. "Saint's right, the others need you more than I do. I'll get my own shit together."

  I stumbled outside and slammed the door behind me as the pounding of my heart made my head spin and I sucked down lungfuls of the cool air.

  Birds were singing in the trees and I tried to focus on that instead of this all consuming fear that was threatening to destroy me. I wouldn't survive this a second time. I couldn't. The fragile scraps of my battered soul which I'd managed to salvage in the wake of my mom's death were held together too loosely. And the things securing them in place at all had names. Four names which would break me if they left me too.

  I sank down with my back to the heavy wooden door, drawing in a deep breath of air and holding it in my body for as long as I could before slowly releasing it again.

  I did that a second time. Then a third. When my legs felt strong enough to hold my weight again, I pushed myself to my feet, battling against this fear until I'd buried it deep enough inside me to function again.

  I needed to see him. I had to see for myself that he wasn't as pale as my mom had been, that he wasn't falling prey to the cruel hands of fate and that death didn't already have its claws in him.

  I circled the building, moving around it until I reached Kyan's window where I stopped a few meters back from it and stared at the thick material of his curtains which blocked my view inside.

  I stooped low and grabbed a couple of pebbles from the forest floor before tossing them at the glass to gain Tatum's attention.

  It only took her a few moments to pull the curtains wide and her face split into a relieved smile as she found me standing there between the trees.

  "Is he okay?" I called, loud enough for her to hear me through the glass.

  "He can talk," Kyan's voice came from behind her and she rolled her eyes mockingly, stepping aside so that I was gifted a view of him propped up in bed on a mountain of pillows. His chest was bare and his tattoo covered flesh was gleaming with a layer of perspiration. Along his right arm I could just make out a series of red rose-shaped marks where the rash had spread but they didn't seem to have appeared anywhere else for the time being. "I'm not dead yet."

  Kyan broke out into a series of hacking coughs and Tatum hurried to his side, climbing into the bed beside him and running her hand down his back as he rode out the coughing fit and I forgot to breathe.

  He finally slumped back against the pillows and I found myself standing right up against the glass, wishing I could reach through it and do something to help.

  "Don't go looking at me like I'm dying, Bowman," Kyan growled as he looked up at me with his chest heaving and a fresh sheen of sweat on his skin. "My life recently got exponentially better. I'm not making my girl into a widow for you to sweep in and steal her from me."

  “Damn right you’re not,” Tatum agreed.

  I managed a weak laugh as he smirked at me and Tatum collected a damp cloth, swiping it over his brow and stealing his attention from me. For a moment I didn’t even have any words as I just watched them together, taking in the softness in his eyes as he looked up at her. And while I watched them, I couldn’t help but feel glad that he’d found her, that he had her there to care for him like that, the way I doubted anyone in his life ever had before. I wanted that for him. I wanted him to live and love and be fucking happy, and if that girl in there was the key to that for him the way she was to me then I saw no reason why we couldn’t both have her.

  Tatum took a facial steamer from his nightstand and encouraged him to place his mouth and nose over it and I watched as he breathed in and out, following her commands like a good patient. Saint had bought that thing alongside four humidifiers which were all plugged in around the room emitting eucalyptus scented steam from the essential oils added to the water. He'd researched everything said to have any kind of positive effect on the outcome of this virus plus about a hundred other things said to help with anything even remotely similar to it and Tatum had diligently implemented them all. Anything to give Kyan an advantage against the virus fighting to steal him from us.

  Kyan had drunk more honey tea, consumed more ginger and gargled more salt water in the last few days than anyone should have to endure in their lifetime. Not to mention the amount of probiotics and vitamins he'd been ing
esting alongside the pain killers, anti-inflammatories and steroids.

  To my surprise, Tatum had been saying what a good patient he'd been too, but as I looked in at the two of them, it was fairly obvious to me that his nurse was a pretty high factor in his cooperation.

  Tatum was wearing a pair of booty shorts and one of Kyan's shirts with a knot tied at the waist to combat the heat in the room which had been cranked up when Kyan started shivering. As I watched them, she moved to straddle him, reaching behind his head to rearrange his pillows before massaging some menthol vaporub onto his bare chest for him.

  Even while he was laying there fighting for his life against a deadly virus, Kyan still managed to raise his hand to squeeze her ass before looking back over at me with a smug grin.

  "Asshole," I called and his smile widened.

  I tried not to pay attention to the sickly parlour of his skin and focus on him flipping me off instead. He was still the same dickhead who had been my partner in crime for as long as I could remember. He’d been kicking asses for a hell of a long time before this virus came along and no doubt he planned on beating the shit out of this too.

  "I hear blowjobs are real good for coughs," he said, loud enough for me to hear him through the glass and Tatum laughed, though I could see how hard she was fighting to remain calm and hide her fear for him.

  "I think that's meant to be giving them, not receiving them," she replied teasingly. "But if you make it through today without coughing up any blood then maybe I'll give it a try."

  "Deal, baby," Kyan said, grinning even bigger and looking my way again. "I just need to-"

  A series of violent coughs cut him off and Tatum helped him lean forward, rubbing his back again and meeting my gaze as I pressed up against the glass to watch as he struggled and she tried to comfort him.

  The sound of the coughs was rough and brittle and I could practically feel the strength of them in my own chest as I watched with a desperate wish that I could do anything at all to help him.

  When he fell back against the pillows, he swiped a hand over his mouth and my heart stopped dead as I saw the specks of blood that he smeared across his lips.

  Tatum sucked in a breath of alarm, her terrified gaze meeting mine as Kyan let his eyes flutter closed and lay panting on the bed.

  She grabbed the steamer from the nightstand and Kyan groaned like he was in pain as she encouraged him to lean over it again. I watched them for several minutes as panic rose up in me so sharply I could have sworn that I was bleeding out all over the ground.

  When it became clear that they'd forgotten I was even here, I backed away from the window.

  I kept backing up until I couldn't see them through the glass anymore and then I turned and bolted.

  I ran up the path towards campus as fast as my legs could carry me. I didn't slow down when my lungs began to burn and my muscles ached with the agony of pushing them so damn hard.

  I raced through the trees and up the track that led to the cliffs, barely even noticing where I was going until I found myself sprinting towards the edge high up above the lake.

  I leapt off of it without even pausing, a yell escaping me as my gut plummeted even faster than I did and I fell towards the grey water of the lake far below with my arms and legs wheeling.

  I crashed beneath the surface and shot towards the lakebed as the icy cold water embraced me and adrenaline thundered through my veins, waking me up far more thoroughly than any other feeling in the world ever could.

  When I finally stopped sinking, I swam for the surface, sucking in a deep breath as my head breached it and staring up at the sky and cursing each and every star in the heavens.

  It wasn't fair. Kyan was too good to die like that. He was worth too much. But it didn’t matter. None of it mattered. The Hades Virus didn’t discriminate between the people it came for. I just needed to try and keep faith that he could beat it.

  The only thing left to me now was the aching sense of certainty that I would make the people responsible for this pay. I'd give my life to gaining retribution for the crimes they'd committed and if I lost my brother for their crimes too then I knew there would be no depths I wouldn't stoop to.

  Blood would flow and screams would pour from their throats and I wouldn't stop until I was coated in as much death as they'd caused with their sins.

  I might have just been some rich brat with a grudge, but there was one thing my father had taught me which I knew would serve me well in this vendetta. I was made to succeed in all things. So if I went to war, I was destined to win.

  And so help the men who fell prey to my wrath.

  I’ d hardly slept. Just stolen hours here and there. But never during the night. I watched him vigilantly then. My Night Keeper. My husband. Sometimes I curled beside him, resting my head on his chest and listening to his heartbeat. But other times his fever was so high that I didn't dare suffocate him with my body heat.

  It was the sixth day of his illness. And tonight, everything was ghostly quiet in The Temple. I text the group chat every couple of hours to promise them Kyan was okay and always got responses from them all, proving how few hours of sleep each of them were getting themselves. I couldn’t blame them. This was a crucial day for the virus. We’d know soon if he’d survive it or not, but I couldn’t let myself consider him not making it. I wouldn’t.

  I watched from a chair beside the bed as Kyan's chest rose and fell too rapidly and he started to shiver. He coughed heavily and it hurt me to watch.

  "Baby?" he murmured and I hurried to his side, clasping his hand.

  "I'm here," I said gently.

  "Lie with me, I need to hold you," he breathed. He sounded so weak and I had the most terrifying feeling he was giving up. That the virus was taking a firmer grip, daring to take the strongest man with the most powerful heart from this world.

  "I don't want to fall asleep," I said as he tugged me closer.

  "Please," he rasped, looking up at me with desperation in his eyes. "If I die, I want you as close as you can be."

  "Please don't say that," I said, tears threatening to spill over. But I forced them back, not letting him see my pain when he had enough pain of his own to face.

  "Just in case," he said, tugging on my hand again and I gave in. How could I refuse?

  I climbed across him, pulling the covers up over us and wrapping myself around him so his body could feed on the heat of mine. His shivering eased a little and he sighed, tilting his head down to kiss my forehead.

  "I love you, Tatum," he breathed.

  "Don't," I pleaded, a choked sob escaping me as I clutched him tighter. "Please don't say goodbye."

  "I'd be a bad husband if I left without saying goodbye," he said softly, far too softly for Kyan Roscoe. “And I mean it. I love you. I should have said it before. Should have said it a thousand fucking times and now I might only get to say it this once.”

  "Stop," I begged, my tears flowing free onto his chest. His skin felt cold against mine and I hugged him tighter, wishing I could give him every drop of warmth in my body. I'd pay any price, strike any deal to save him. If I only knew how to conjure the devil, I'd have sold my soul already. "You're not going anywhere."

  He stroked my hair and we fell quiet for a while before he spoke once more. "Our story's been pretty messy hasn’t it, baby? But I wouldn't ask for a do-over. Everything I ever earned in life was forged in dirt and blood and pain. I just never expected to earn something as perfect as you."

  "Kyan." My tears washed over his skin and there was nothing I could do stop them anymore. "Our story isn't over. We're going to get through this and the pandemic is going to end. There’s a time beyond this just waiting for us."

  He sought out my hand, threading his fingers through mine and running his thumb over the ring that bound me to him. "Where will we go when it’s over?"

  "Anywhere you want," I promised. "Where do you want to go?"

  He fell quiet, thinking about that as he continued to trace his thumb over
my wedding ring. "High Rocks," he decided.

  "The amusement park?" I questioned and he nodded.

  "Pa never took me there. Said it was for kids. And apparently being eight years old meant I'd outgrown being a kid already. By the time I was a teenager I figured I was too old and too fucking cool for that shit. But I guess I was an idiot. Because now I never got to go."

  "You will get to go." I leaned up, pressing my hands to the pillow either side of his head and gazing into his dark eyes. "We'll go together."

  He smiled a little, but it was the saddest smile I'd ever seen. I leaned down and kissed him, tasting my own tears on his lips and the lasting flavour of the man who had claimed me as his and who I'd claimed right back. We were walking to the brink of death together in this room, me at his side, and I refused to let him slip away from me. I would pull him back when it counted most.

  I slid back down his body to curl up with my leg hooked over his and my head on his chest, trying not to break. Kyan ran his fingers through my hair and my heart started to beat in time with his.

  “Sleep with me,” he asked and I felt like he was asking so much more than that.

  I nodded, squeezing his hand, giving him this, too afraid of refusing it if this was his last wish. But the pain that caused me was unimaginable.

  My breathing grew shallow as we held each other, nothing but the hours between now and dawn seeming to exist. And I was sure they would determine everything. This was it for him, life or death. And all I could do was pray for life.

  “I love you, Kyan,” I told him, meaning it from the depths of my soul.

  “I didn’t earn that, but maybe I might’ve if I had a bit longer,” he breathed.

  “You earned it,” I said firmly, squeezing my eyes shut. “Don’t ever say otherwise. You’re everything, Kyan.”

  “Good to know, baby. At least I got to make you mine before the end. I can say I had one good thing,” he said contentedly, hugging me tight and he soon drifted off to sleep, leaving me with my heart breaking.