Celestial Bodies

by Laura Leone

  “I’m having a baby!”

  “I beg your pardon?” Diana said.

  “You can’t be!” Nick said.

  “I am! The pains started about an hour ago! Jenny’s on her way to the hospital, and I’m stuck here, babysitting the rich and over-privileged.”

  “Who’s Jenny?” Diana asked in confusion.

  “Peter’s wife,” Nick explained. “She’s the one having the labor pains. But the baby’s not due for two more weeks.”

  “Well, I guess it got tired of waiting. It wants to party now,” Peter said.

  “All right, calm down, Pete. I’m sorry I didn’t get here sooner. Just tell me what’s going on.”

  Practically dancing in his agitation, Peter said, “About a million limousines have pulled in there during the past hour. There are lights and music and people everywhere. Listen, Nick, I can’t believe we didn’t think of this sooner. If Claude’s got Felix, he must be—”

  “Inside the estate,” Nick and Diana said together.

  Peter gaped at them. “You know?”

  “We just figured it out,” Nick told his partner. “Personal stress is bad for deductive reasoning, or I would have thought of it sooner.”

  Peter started hopping up and down again. “All right. We’ve got to get Felix out of there now, while Claude’s distracted with the party. But let’s make it snappy! Jenny needs me to coach her breathing.”

  “Hey, Diana’s a yoga teacher. Maybe we could send her to the hospital to coach Jenny’s breathing,” Nick suggested eagerly.

  Both Peter and Diana glared at him.

  “I am not letting someone else coach my kid into this world,” Peter said irritably.

  “And I’m not letting you shuttle me out of the way, so you can do your manly rescue thing without me,” Diana added scathingly.

  “All right.” Nick sighed. He hadn’t really thought they’d fall for it, anyhow. “Let’s go to it.”

  “How do you think we should get inside the walls?” Peter asked Nick. Although the gates were wide open, four guards at the entrance were checking everyone for invitations and comparing their names to the guest list.

  Diana listened as Peter and Nick worked out a complicated plan for breaching the security at Beaux Champs and sneaking onto the grounds undetected.

  After they had agreed on their plan of action and double-checked their automatic weapons, Nick turned to Diana and squared his shoulders resolutely. “I’m sorry, Diana. It’s best if you wait here. I can’t drag an amateur into danger.”

  Diana frowned. “But Nick, why don’t we just go through the main gate?”

  Peter rolled his eyes and Nick looked impatient. “Because we can’t get in without an invitation,” he said in the tone of one addressing a slow child.

  Diana smirked at him and pulled an engraved invitation out of her purse. “It just so happens...” She waved it in their faces.

  Nick snatched it out of her hands. Then he grunted and handed it to Peter, who read aloud, “Felix Stewart, Diana Stewart, and guests.”

  “Call it precognition. Sorry to spoil your fun, boys,” Diana said airily. “Shall we?”

  They all climbed into Diana’s jalopy. She started the engine, drove up to the gates, and handed her invitation to a security guard. They were waved through within seconds. She couldn’t resist saying to Nick, “Of course, I’m sure this seems terribly dull to you dangerous professional types.”

  “Don’t gloat, Diana, it’s so unattractive,” Nick said grumpily.

  “Can we hurry it up?” Peter snapped.

  “Let’s all just keep a low profile,” Nick advised after they had turned the car over to a valet. He looked around at the throng of people living it up. He, Peter, and Diana were all distinctly underdressed for the occasion. “The last thing we need is to be spotted by one of the Bouviers.”

  “Damn it!” Peter exclaimed suddenly. He grabbed Nick’s arm and pulled him away from the bright lights near one of the marquees.

  “What now?” Nick said with forced patience.

  “Maurice LeCoz,” Peter whispered.

  “Where?” Nick followed the direction of Peter’s gaze. A moment later he spotted LeCoz’s thin, fox-like face about fifty yards away from them. Nick turned his back quickly.

  “That’s LeCoz? Do you think they’re in cahoots?” Diana whispered. “He and Claude?”

  “No,” Nick said, “they just travel in the same circles. Great. This is all we need.”

  “Come on,” Peter urged. “Let’s get out of here.”

  As unobtrusively as possible, the three of them walked away from the festivities, rounded the manor house, and ran into the shadows. As soon as they were out of sight and alone, Peter stopped and asked, “Where do you think we should starting looking?”

  Nick glanced sheepishly in Diana’s direction before saying, “Near water. Let’s look down by the river.”

  Nick assumed that wherever Felix was being kept it had to be out of earshot of the house, the stables, and the guest cottage. The three of them walked a considerable distance in search of a likely hiding place. He was just starting to wonder if they should reconsider their plan when he saw a tiny light, far away through the trees. Next to the water.

  He nudged Peter and Diana. They all crept toward the source of the light, treading softly and looking out for a trap. When they were within ten feet of the tumbledown shack on the waterfront, Nick saw someone inside the building pass by the window. He dropped to the ground, motioning for Diana and Peter to do the same.

  “This is it,” he whispered. “I’m sure of it. You guys stay here.”

  Diana watched with a pounding heart as he levered himself up and ran crouching toward the shack. Careful not to be seen by anyone on the inside, he peeked into a window. He glanced back at Peter and Diana and made a circling motion with his hand.

  “What does that mean?” Diana asked.

  “He’s going to check the area for additional guards.”

  Within minutes, Nick was back at Diana’s side, graceful as any predator.

  “Is he here?” she whispered eagerly.

  “Yes. There’s only one guard with him. The guy’s just sitting there, staring off into space. No one else is around.”

  “I’ll get the window, you get the door,” Peter said.

  “Right.” Nick pulled out his gun.

  “What do I do?” Diana asked fearfully. She would die if anything happened to Nick or Felix.

  “Stay out of sight,” Nick ordered.

  For once she decided to cooperate without argument. He was right. This was his job, and she would only be a liability. Particularly if Felix’s guard was dangerous.

  Nick crept up to the door of the shack and tightened his fingers around the hard grip of his gun. He felt a familiar wave of adrenaline flood his system as that strange combination of hot fear and icy calm propelled him forward. He and Peter worked together like two parts of a whole, and he had absolute confidence that Peter’s gun would smash through the window to cover him before anything could go wrong.

  Nick kicked in the door and burst into the one-room shack with an explosion of noise, motion, and energy. He registered the sound of breaking glass at the same moment as he shouted, “Freeze!”

  The reaction he got from the two men sitting face-to-face on the floor was the last one he expected. The guard remained absolutely still, as if oblivious to Nick’s dramatic entrance. Felix looked up at Nick with his familiar, serene expression.

  “Please put down the gun, Nick,” he said. “Violence is always reprehensible. Even when motivated by—”

  “Felix!” Nick said incredulously. He looked at the motionless guard. The man still stared into the distance, his eyes tranquil and unblinking. “What’s going on here?”

  “What is going on here?” came Peter’s voice from the window.

  Felix glanced at Peter and said, “I have succeeded in hypnotizing my guard.” He looked back at Nick. “I was questioning him about C
laude Bouvier’s plans. Then I intended to effect an escape.”

  At that moment, Diana appeared in the doorway. “Felix!”

  “Diana!” Felix hopped off the floor and met her halfway across the room. Father and daughter flew into each other’s embrace and held one another tightly, while Nick met Peter’s confused gaze.

  “Oh, Daddy!” Diana cried at last.

  Felix was obviously touched. “Why, Diana, you haven’t called me that in nearly twenty years!”

  “Yeah, well, somebody’s gonna be calling me Daddy in a few hours,” Peter reminded them all. “Can we get out of here now?”

  Nick nodded. He put a hand upon Diana’s shoulder and tried to get her attention as she hugged her father and checked him for signs of physical damage. “Honey, Pete’s right. We’ve got to get out of here.”

  As soon as Felix released his hold on Diana, she flung herself into Nick’s arms. “I was so afraid something terrible would happen to you when you kicked open that door!”

  “Oh,” he said, enjoying the sensation that her seeking arms created. He slid his arm around her waist and kissed her forehead. A moment later he caught Felix’s speculative stare and muttered, “Uh, let’s get going, everyone. We’ll deal with Claude later.”

  “We can’t!” Felix declared.

  “Why not?” Nick demanded.

  “Yeah, why not?” Peter said plaintively.

  “When he finds out I’m gone, he may do something desperate!”

  “Don’t you think kidnapping you was pretty desperate?” Diana said.

  “I mean, he may harm his mother,” said Felix. “Right now, I’m the only thing standing between Mrs. Bouvier and the next life!”

  “Damn it!” Peter exclaimed.

  Felix looked offended. Diana tried to explain why Peter was in such a hurry to leave while Nick and Peter discussed what their next move should be.

  “What’s going on around here, anyhow?” Peter asked Felix.

  Felix took a deep breath and launched into his explanation of recent events. “For some time now, I’ve been aware that someone close to Mrs. Bouvier is abusing her trust, deceiving her, and endangering her interests.”

  “How did you know this?” Peter asked.

  “The readings kept giving unmistakable indications. The Four of Pentacles, for example.”

  Peter looked blank, so Diana said, “Miserliness, over-emphasis on material possessions. Or sometimes, loss of material wealth and waste of money.”

  “The Seven of Swords,” Felix continued.

  “Theft and inappropriate plans,” Diana said.

  “The Devil.”

  “No kidding!” Nick said despite himself. He caught Peter’s incredulous glance and shrugged.

  “Of course, I warned Mrs. Bouvier,” Felix told them. “But she was the one who made the decision to investigate her financial affairs. Naturally, in keeping with my standards of professional integrity, I gave no specific advice or instructions. But I had to keep her informed as this person—who I didn’t realize at the time was her son—began to harbor dangerous sentiments toward her as a result of her attempts to expose him.”

  “Why didn’t you go to the police?” Peter asked.

  “Client confidentiality,” Diana and Nick replied together.

  “Exactly,” Felix said. “Although I realized that Nick had been sent by this dangerous individual, Nick chose not to reveal that person’s identity, so I was still unaware of the source of the chaos and turmoil entering our lives. Since Mrs. Bouvier is my client and comes to me for spiritual guidance, I couldn’t burden her with worries about the threatening notes and near-accidents disrupting our lives these past two weeks.”

  “Oh, Felix,” Nick said despairingly. He was beginning to realize all this could have been avoided if Felix weren’t so damn principled. “So Claude knew it was your influence that was causing Mrs. Bouvier to suspect him of being crooked. He came to me first, simply assuming that an astrologer would be a fraud and that I could prove it. He made up some transparent story of being worried about his mother’s safety and fortune, just to convince me to take the case.”

  “Yeah, and you were so busy failing in love, you didn’t bother to find out why Claude had invented such an improbable story,” Peter observed critically.

  “I did wonder,” Nick said defensively, avoiding another hard look from Felix. “But you have no idea how confusing things can be in the House of Ishtar.”

  “I’m beginning to realize,” Peter muttered.

  “Anyhow,” Nick continued, “when Claude’s first plan of action didn’t work, he tried to frighten you with vandalism and threatening notes. And when that didn’t work, he came to the House of Ishtar while Diana was out—”

  “Hoping to bribe me into offering false comfort and reassurance to his mother,” Felix said indignantly.

  “Since he had failed to get us to discredit you,” Peter added. “And when you refused to cooperate, he brought you here.”

  “Yes. He’s been trying to convince me to recant, threatening me with death. As if that mattered.”

  Peter’s eyes widened. “Doesn’t it?”

  “I’ll explain later, Pete,” Nick told his partner. This was no time to open a discussion on reincarnation and multidimensional existence. “So you, of course, refused to recant. And Claude’s last ace in the hole was to tell Mrs. Bouvier he’d kill you if she didn’t let him have his way with the family fortune. Is that about right?”

  Felix nodded. “He’s been embezzling from their investors and running the family into debt ever since his father’s death. He apparently covered his tracks cleverly, and no one suspected a thing until—”

  “Until you told Mrs. Bouvier that someone close to her was cheating her,” Nick finished for him.

  Felix nodded. “And if he discovers I’m gone, who knows what desperate act he may attempt? We must seize him now!”

  “Seize him?” Diana repeated anxiously. “Oh, Nick.”

  “Relax,” Nick said. “This is my job. It just may be a little tricky, that’s all.”

  “Tricky or not, can we get on with it?” Peter asked impatiently. “And this time, partner, you do all the paperwork.”

  They worked out a plan, then proceeded back to the party as quickly as they could—after Felix had instructed his hypnotized guard to sleep soundly for two hours, awake refreshed, and then report his crimes to the nearest police department.

  When they reached the bright lights and crowds of people, they split up, as they had agreed. Diana and Felix went in search of Mrs. Bouvier so they could break the news and protect her from Claude. Nick and Peter went in search of Claude himself.

  Diana and Felix found Mrs. Bouvier chatting with a number of guests. Even from a distance, Diana could see that the poor woman looked tense and haggard. Diana was just about to suggest to Felix that they approach her subtly when he cried, “Mrs. Bouvier!”

  Mrs. Bouvier’s eyes flew to him. “Felix!” she shrieked.

  The crowd around her parted as she flung herself at the short, unkempt astrologer. Diana looked around at the crowd while Mrs. Bouvier cried and babbled and Felix reassured and consoled.

  Finally Diana leaned over and asked, “Is there some place safe we can go, until Nick has dealt with your son, Mrs. Bouvier?”

  “Oh, of course,” Mrs. Bouvier sobbed. “Let’s go inside the house.”

  If she hadn’t been frantic with worry for Nick, Diana thought she might have been able to enjoy the lavish spectacle of sumptuous wealth that lay behind the front door of the Bouvier mansion. As it was, she barely noticed the obsequious servants, shining crystal, or polished marble. They entered a room on the first floor and closed the door behind them. Mrs. Bouvier poured out her heart to Felix, apologizing for the suffering her son had brought him, wailing over her shame, anguish, and terror during the past two days. Realizing that the older woman was growing hysterical, Diana decided they needed to distract her.

  She dug into her purse and
, upon finding the silken bundle there, she pulled it out and handed it to Felix. “Here, I brought your cards. Tell us what’s going to happen.”

  He frowned. “This is the deck that man gave me a few weeks ago. I’m not used to this deck yet. Where are my own cards?”

  “I’m sorry, Felix. Claude destroyed most of that deck when he kidnapped you.”

  “Oh!” Mrs. Bouvier burst into another frenzy of despair.

  “Just go ahead,” Diana urged Felix. She glanced meaningfully at the sobbing woman, who had just flung herself onto a silk-covered divan.

  “I haven’t even meditated,” he protested.

  “Felix, please!” Diana turned her back on him and ran to the window, keeping to the shadows, and tried to catch sight of Nick on the vast lawn.

  She was aware of Mrs. Bouvier’s voice in the background, asking Felix what would happen to them all. Felix responded vaguely, then Diana heard the familiar sound of shuffling cards.

  Nick and Peter found Claude within ten minutes, despite the hundreds of people milling in and out of the two crowded, noisy tents on the lawn. Nick saw the flash of fear in Claude’s eyes an instant before the man turned away and dashed into the crowd.

  Hoping to attract as little attention as possible, Nick circled the marquee while Peter followed hot on Claude’s tail. Nick has just caught sight of Claude again, when he tripped over someone’s outstretched foot. He stumbled and barely managed to conceal the gun tucked into his waistband.

  He looked up at the man who had tripped him—and froze.

  “What the hell are you doing here?” the man snarled.

  “LeCoz,” Nick croaked.

  One whiff of LeCoz’s breath as the man leaned closer made it clear he was stinking drunk—so drunk that it was amazing he had even recognized Nick.

  “Get out of my way,” Nick snapped, revolted by this grotesque monster who had once hired him to return an abused woman to his clutches.

  He shoved past LeCoz and continued his search for Claude. True to form, Peter had pursued Claude so closely that the panicked man backed into Nick’s arms, as planned. Nick poked the barrel of his gun against Claude’s back and said, “We’ve got you for kidnapping, extortion, assault, and embezzlement, Mr. Bouvier. I’d suggest you cooperate before Peter here loses his temper.”