Rock Chick Reborn

by Kristen Ashley

  He totally got me and that was not about the kid being white.

  “I know. When’d she stop being seven?” he asked.

  “Ten years ago,” I pointed out.

  “Yeah,” he muttered, then went on, “In the end, it doesn’t matter. Unless he’s hurting her or changing her personality in ways that concern me, I just gotta let it play out.”

  “Yeah, you just do.”

  “You ever talk to the boys about them treating girls now with a mind to how they’d feel having their own girls in the future?”

  “Not yet. But I’ll be leveling that Shirleen Lecture on them in between waiting on them getting their Follow Up Shirleen Lecture about going to college.”

  That got me another chuckle before he said, “Ever think there’d be a time you’d be scheduling lectures to your teenage boys?”

  “Dreamed it every day, but no. Never.”

  There was a beat of silence then he asked, “You wanted kids?”

  “Wanted a boy. Least one. One I could make into a good man. One who’d take care of his momma.”

  “And then God gave you two,” he remarked.

  “And then God gave me two,” I repeated. “We shouldn’t bitch, Moses. We’re so lucky. We both got good kids.”

  “We are, baby,” he agreed. “Don’t I know that. Damned lucky.”

  It was heavy and it went on with the heavy as Moses shared about some of the kids at Gilliam and the obstacles they faced in their lives to get them on the right path.

  I took us out of the heavy when I felt he was ready by sharing about the antics of the Rock Chicks (the tamer ones, we were starting out, I didn’t want to scare him) just to try to make him laugh.

  We talked and we talked, and we talked some more.

  We even talked through me washing my face.

  And a whole lot longer.

  In fact, I was in bed, my hair twisted up, my silk scarf wrapped around it, under the covers in the dark after we’d talked out his kids, the Rock Chicks, movies we liked, books we’d read, places we’d been, dream vacations we wanted to take, and Moses’s sweet honey voice was in my ear, soothing me like a lullaby.

  He didn’t miss it.

  “Gonna let you go, sweetheart.”

  “I don’t want you to let me go,” I mumbled.

  And I really, really didn’t.

  “And I don’t wanna let you go, but you sound about ready to pass out.”

  I was.

  “Okay, you can let me go.”

  “Call you tomorrow.”

  “Okay.”

  “Thanks for listening, baby,” he said.

  “Thanks for talking, and also thanks for listening,” I replied.

  He chuckled.

  And hearing it, that was where I wanted to end it.

  “’Night, Moses.”

  “’Night, baby.”

  I pressed my phone to my chest after we disconnected and I did not even care I slept with it there.

  Holding him close.

  Holding his goodness to me.

  His promise.

  Holding it tight.

  “Say what?” I asked during our phone date Thursday night (we’d had one Wednesday night too, bee T dub).

  “I’m reading the Rock Chicks. I’m at the beginning. Indy and Lee.”

  Damn.

  I didn’t know how I was feeling about this.

  “When do you come in?” he queried.

  “Uh, the next one. Jet and Eddie.”

  “Do you know this Kristen Ashley person who wrote them?”

  “It’s a penname. It’s really someone who used to work at Indy’s bookstore.”

  “Did she fire them?”

  “No. But the books took off so she writes full time now.”

  “Goes on book tours?”

  “Apparently, unless you sell a bucketload, that doesn’t happen. That is, unless it’s your own dime.”

  He sounded confused. “But she has a schedule of appearances on her website.”

  Hmm.

  He’d checked the website.

  “That’s just some woman in Phoenix Jane hired to pretend she’s Kristen Ashley. Jane’s not super social. She’d lose it if she had to go to a book signing.”

  “Ah,” he mumbled. Then he asked, “You okay I’m reading these?”

  Yikes, but he could read me already.

  Even over the phone.

  “Well, uh, they met me when, uh . . .”

  “Babe,” he clipped.

  I shut up and not only at his tone.

  He’d called me “babe,” not “baby” not “sweetheart.”

  That was totally Hot Bunch.

  Toe-tah-lee.

  I’d heard Luke Stark call an eighty-three-year-old woman, who’d come into the office to hire the guys because she was concerned her children were slowly poisoning her, “babe.”

  She’d blushed like a schoolgirl.

  And Moses was getting impatient with me being an idiot.

  He was into me.

  He called me every night.

  We were going out to a nice dinner the first night he was free after his girls went back to their mom’s.

  I needed to get over it.

  “Actually, I’m pretty funny in those books,” I told him. “It’s just that, in the early ones, I was drug-dealing, poker-game-running funny.”

  “This isn’t going to surprise me, Shirleen,” he reminded me.

  “Right,” I muttered. “Uh,” I went on, “have you thought, you know, if this works with us—”

  Moses cut me off. “If it does?”

  “Well, yeah.”

  “You don’t think it’s working?”

  “It is now.”

  “You think it’s going to quit working?”

  “I hope not.”

  “So how ’bout we use the word ‘when’ this works.”

  This was not a suggestion.

  “It doesn’t fit in my question,” I explained.

  “What’s your question?”

  “Okay, when this works and I meet your girls, and then I got a question after that. Do you think that fits?”

  “It could be when we’re confident this is working and you meet my girls.”

  It was safe to say Shirleen was getting irritated.

  “My man, are you honestly tellin’ me what to say?”

  “I’m telling you not to say or think negatively that it might not work.”

  “I can tell you right about now I’m thinkin’ negative thoughts about a man telling me which word to use.”

  I knew what he thought about that.

  He thought that was funny, and I knew he did because I heard him laughing.

  “You think I’m being funny?” I asked.

  “No. I think it’s all kinds of good you got no problem tellin’ me like it is when I’m being a jackass.”

  “Well . . . humph.”

  Yep.

  I humphed.

  But the situation warranted it.

  “So, what was the question you wanted to ask about when we know this is working and you meet my girls,” he prompted.

  “I know this girl’s nerves are getting worked by her man.”

  “Yeah,” he whispered, that honey pouring right in my ear. “Like that. ‘Her man.’”

  I shut up.

  But I liked it too.

  Legs-getting-restless-while-I-was-lying-on-my-bed liked it.

  “Baby, you were gonna ask me a question?” he pushed.

  “What are you gonna tell them about the woman their daddy’s datin’ being an ex-poker-game-running drug-dealer.”

  After I asked that, I held my breath.

  I didn’t have to hold it long because Moses answered immediately.

  “When the time is right, which will be when they’re older, I’m gonna tell them you used to run games and deal drugs.”

  “Say what?” I whispered.

  “By then they’ll know you, Shirleen. They’ll know you’re good f
or me. They’ll know Roam and Sniff and what you did for them. They’ll have met your friends and know how much they love you. And I don’t keep anything from my girls, not anything that big. It’s disrespect. So they’re too young now. But when they can get it, they’ll know.”

  I didn’t know what to think about that either.

  “I know my girls, baby,” he went on. “And when you do, you’ll get that’s the right way to play it.”

  “That scares me.”

  “I bet,” he said gently. “Sadly, that’s the penance you have to keep paying after you do shit in your life that affected other lives in bad ways that you regret.”

  “Yeah,” I muttered.

  “It’ll be okay,” he assured.

  I hoped so.

  “It’ll be okay, Shirleen,” he repeated.

  “I hope so,” I replied.

  “Baby, listen to me,” he urged.

  I was listening but I listened harder.

  “Do you think I’d be with you if I didn’t think they’d see in you what I see in you?” he asked.

  That made sense.

  “No,” I whispered.

  “I wouldn’t do them like that and I wouldn’t do you like that,” he continued.

  “Okay, Moses.”

  “So don’t worry about it.”

  That might not be possible.

  “Okay, Moses,” I lied.

  “My beautiful woman is totally lying,” he muttered.

  “Humph.”

  Yep.

  Even though he called me his beautiful woman, I humphed again.

  He chuckled again.

  Then he got serious. “We had our bad, Shirleen. It’s time for our good. I’m committed to giving you that. Now what I need from you is for you to believe in it. But don’t worry. I’m okay with taking that slow too. Just as long as we’re moving forward.”

  “You’re annoying when you’ve been annoying and then you’re all sweet.”

  “Wish right now I could be a different kind of sweet,” he murmured.

  I shivered.

  “Please tell me your boys have plans tomorrow night so I can make out in the car with you for at least an hour after I take you out to dinner,” he stated.

  Another shiver.

  “They got plans,” I promised.

  “Good,” he said low.

  And . . .

  Another shiver.

  It was time to change the subject.

  “I will state, in my defense, as you read those books, that I told Ava it was a bad idea to go to Vito’s house prior to her nearly flipping her SUV over onto I-25 with me in it.”

  “I’m sorry?” he asked quietly.

  Perhaps I picked the wrong subject.

  “Uh, spoiler alert,” I mumbled.

  “You were in an SUV that nearly flipped onto I-25?”

  “It didn’t.”

  “You were in an SUV that nearly flipped onto I-25?”

  “We were being chased. By an, um, mobster.”

  Moses fell silent.

  “You might want to get into the frame of mind of me and all my friends as fictional characters before you get any deeper in those books,” I advised.

  “Lee told me his wife was kidnapped three times.”

  “Um . . .”

  “Were you ever kidnapped?”

  “No,” I said swiftly.

  “Did anything of yours explode?” he asked.

  “Uh, no.”

  “Why was there an ‘uh’ before that ‘no?’”

  “Just that, you know, I don’t want you to get overly concerned when you read about the fact I shot someone in my living room when they broke into my house ’cause a bad guy didn’t want Mace, Lee, Eddie, Hank and the boys to keep doing what Mace, Lee, Eddie, Hank and the boys were doing. Primarily, trying to get him incarcerated.”

  “Why didn’t you call nine one one?”

  “There wasn’t time. Seein’ as I had my boys with me, I had to look out for them and he shot first.”

  More silence.

  Scary silence.

  “It’s all good now,” I said quickly.

  “Are there any more of them left?” he asked.

  “More of what?”

  “Rock Chicks.”

  “Only me.”

  “You’re not getting kidnapped and shot at on my watch.”

  I grinned. “Good to know.”

  “Jesus,” he muttered.

  “Maybe you shouldn’t read those books,” I suggested.

  “Are you in danger working for Lee Nightingale now?” he asked.

  Hmm.

  “Shirleen,” he growled when I didn’t respond immediately.

  “Define your concept of danger.”

  That got another growl, just one that didn’t come with words associated with it.

  It was hot.

  Before my legs got restless again, I told him, “Lee and the boys try to keep the action out of the office.”

  “Try?”

  “Sometimes they fail,” I admitted.

  “Fucking hell,” he whispered.

  “It isn’t their fault,” I defended. “Obviously they don’t want bad guys to storm through the front door and shoot up the joint.”

  “Holy fuck,” he bit off.

  “But that hasn’t happened for a while,” I shared.

  “When this works, we might need to have a conversation about your employment.”

  “Baby,” I said softly, “I love my job. I love those boys. We have protocols should anything like that happen, one such protocol being put in place when that Balducci brother invaded. I was under lock and key with the police en route, a skilled, armed man between the bad guys and me, and Lee and Luke sprinting up the steps. We have tight security. No one even gets in that building without us knowing, and if they were a threat, I’d be protected. Swear.”

  He didn’t share he was appeased by this explanation.

  “Each one of those men would take a bullet for me, make no mistake about that, Moses.”

  “That, I know,” he replied.

  I drew in breath and let it out, saying, “And I’m pretty good at taking care of myself.”

  “Mm,” he murmured.

  “But can I tell you how sweet it is you’re worried?” I asked.

  “You can tell me that,” he said.

  I grinned.

  “I’m glad I didn’t have to live through all that shit with you,” he noted. “I foresee a kidnapping if I did, that being me kidnapping you.”

  That got him another grin as I said, “Talk to any Hot Bunch member. They’ll share just how much unfun they were having when it was happening.”

  “Hot Bunch?”

  He hadn’t gotten to that part in the books yet, obviously.

  “The men.”

  “And the women are the Rock Chicks.”

  “Yeah.”

  “And the Rock Chicks?”

  I didn’t know what he was asking.

  “What about them?”

  “Did they think it was unfun?”

  Hmm again.

  “They didn’t think all of it was fun,” I hedged.

  “Say, the explosions,” he started to break it down.

  “That there’s a good example, because we all thought it was pretty funny Tex exploded that warehouse where he’d been taken after he was kidnapped. But we didn’t think it was funny at all when Stella’s apartment got blown up.”

  “Maybe we should quit talking about this.”

  “I hear that,” I said quietly. “And maybe you should give those books a miss.”

  “I am absolutely reading those books.”

  “Moses—”

  “I need to know what I’m getting into.”

  “Maybe that’s a good call,” I mumbled. “But, remember, it’s been years and I’ve got no ill effects after I got conked on the head when Slick and his boys shot up my poker game.”

  “Jesus Christ,” he whispered.

  I couldn’t he
lp it.

  I grinned again.

  “You’re totally gonna love the Rock Chicks,” I told him.

  “I thought I would. Not sure now if that’s true.”

  “They love me straight to their souls.”

  “Then you’re right, sweetheart. I’ll love them.”

  And that made me grin again.

  We talked a lot longer.

  And I grinned a lot more.

  We ended our conversation with me lulled half asleep with Moses’s sweet voice sounding in my ear.

  I fell totally asleep yet again with my phone held to my chest.

  But this time it was different.

  This time, everything was different.

  Because tomorrow, for the first time in a long time, I had something amazing and beautiful and exciting to look forward to.

  Tomorrow, I was going to see Moses again.

  Reborn

  Shirleen

  THE NEXT NIGHT, I opened the door to my house.

  I stood there in my dress and heels, hair done, makeup refreshed, staring at the handsome man on my doorstep wearing a café au lait button up, a chocolate-brown blazer, his eyes warming, his lips forming a sexy smile upon seeing me . . .

  And I was reborn.

  His warm, rich voice came at me, covering my skin, washing the last of the dust away at the same time it seeped in, through the skin, the flesh, the bone, to fill my marrow with liquid goodness.

  “Ready to go?”

  I stood there, unable to move.

  “Or you wanna show me your place?” he asked.

  He was so beautiful.

  So beautiful.

  And I had it in my power to make him mine.

  Like I had it in my power to keep on keeping on the way I’d been keeping on and told Daisy I was not going to help Jet find her daddy.

  But I made my choice.

  Then I helped Jet find her daddy.

  Like I had it in my power to stay detached, stay removed, not get involved.

  But I made my choice.

  And I became friends with Jet. I renewed my friendship with Daisy. And with time, the rest of them came along.

  Like I had it in my power when things were heating up on the streets with Jules being a vigilante and I had a choice to make.

  And I made that choice.

  Then Darius and me got out of the game.

  Like I had it in my power when the worst that could happen happened, and Roam and Jules both got shot, Jules nearly got dead, this happening while they were looking out for each other, and I wanted Jules’s kids under my roof so I could look after them.

  And I made that choice.