by Quinn Loftis
“Do you feel the cold?” he asked.
She nodded.
“When we joined our magic and our souls there was no cold.”
“It was warm,” she said breathlessly as she remembered the way it had felt.
“It was, well…” Elias didn’t know exactly how to explain what it was, but he knew that bond wasn’t complete. He also knew that he didn’t like the feeling of being suddenly separated from her. He’d never felt anything so powerful, nor had he ever felt so complete. For a moment, the only thing he thought about was becoming completely joined with Tara. Not just his soul and magic but their bodies as well.
“Elias?”
He hated that she suddenly sounded unsure. Elias never wanted her to be uncertain of him, of them. He wanted Tara to always know where she stood with him. He needed her to know he would never leave her or abandon her. If he looked like a nutter, then so be it. For her, he would dance the jig, naked, wearing a fruit hat on his head in front of the entire world. He would do anything to make her feel secure in what they were building together.
“I don’t want to freak you out or make you uncomfortable,” he said as he ran a finger down her cheek. The need to touch her, to feel her skin against his, created a physical ache.
“I’ve found out that elemental spirits are real things that exist. My best friend was sent to the underworld. I have some sort of supernatural bond to another human being. Yet, I haven’t run screaming like a banshee. Have a little faith in me.”
He took a breath and let it out slowly as he gathered his courage. Rejection was a bitch, and no one wanted to face it. But for a man, rejection was akin to having his balls cut off and hung out for all to see. “What just happened between us felt like it was inevitable. It felt right, like we’re supposed to be joined, and I don’t just mean in the Biblical sense.” She blushed, and he couldn’t keep from leaning down and pressing his lips gently to hers. “Everything inside of me wants to be connected to you like that always. I don’t really know what that means.”
Tara nodded. “I think I understand because I feel the same way, but I can’t fully explain it. It’s almost violent.”
“That’s getting close to describing it.” Elias breathed out.
She nodded. “I wish we had someone we could ask. Though I’m not going to lie, it would be mortifying to ask anyone about something so personal and intimate.”
Elias’s lips turned up. “I love it when you blush. I’d endure us speaking to someone just so I could watch your beautiful skin turn ten shades of red.”
She smacked his shoulder. “Not cool, dude. Not cool.”
He shrugged. “Maybe not for you.”
Tara laughed, and he loved the sound of it. He wanted her to laugh often, and he wanted to be the cause of that laughter.
“Can I be honest with you?” she asked him, suddenly looking nervous.
“Always.”
“As right as this”—she motioned between them—“felt, I’m not ready.”
“For what?” he asked, knowing full well what she was talking about. He couldn’t help but tease her a bit.
“You know,” she said as her eyes darted away from his.
“But do I? Because I don’t want there to be any kind of miscommunication. I mean, I’ve heard that the best relationships have very open communication policies.”
“Communication policies?” She quirked an eyebrow at him. “That sounds like we’re a business, not a relationship.”
“You’re avoiding the issue.”
“And you’re astute.”
“What is it you aren’t ready for, Tara?”
“Ugh.” She huffed. “Fine, if you’re going to make me say it, then I’m going to kick you out after I say it.”
“We’re in my room,” he pointed out.
“Too bad for you.” She grinned unrepentantly.
“All right, you can kick me out after you tell me what you aren’t ready for.”
She chewed on her bottom lip while she thought and then finally said, “I’m not ready for sex.” Her face brightened to a shade of red he hadn’t previously seen on her.
“Can you define what sex means to you?” he asked, then dodged the hand reaching out to hit him.
“Out,” she yelled and pointed toward the door. “You’ve lost your room privileges.”
Elias didn’t miss the grin she tried to hide from him.
“I’ll just come back when you fall asleep,” he said. “I can tell how tired you are.”
She shook her head. “If I take a nap now, I’ll never be able to sleep tonight.”
“Then what are you going to do without me here?”
A smirk appeared on her beautiful face. “Wouldn’t you like to know.”
Elias climbed off of the bed and ran his hand through his hair as frustration built inside of him. Yes, it was definitely time for him to go. “That’s cruel.”
“I never claimed to be a nice girl.” She winked at him.
Elias wanted to climb back into the bed with her. But she had said she wasn’t ready for their relationship to go to the next level physically. And it most certainly would if he decided to stick around. He turned on his heel and headed for the door.
As he grasped the knob, Tara said his name. He turned, and his breath caught at how stunning she looked with her hair in disarray from his hands clenching it, her lips swollen from his kiss, and her eyes still a bit glassy from the desire she’d felt from him. He needed to get out of there five minutes ago. “Yes, love.”
“I don't really want you to leave, but it’s for the best right now. I think we both need to cool down.”
Elias held her gaze and focused on the emotions he could feel through the soul bond. He could tell she felt insecure. “Never be afraid to tell me what you need,” he said seriously. “There is no judgment from me, Tara. Whatever you need, I will give it to you.”
“Thank you,” she whispered.
“There’s no need for thanks. You’re mine. And everything I am is yours.” He opened the door and stepped out, quickly closing it behind him. If he’d stayed a moment longer, he would have wrapped her in his arms, but he wasn’t sure if he could have stopped at simply holding her. The fevered moments they’d shared were still too fresh in his mind. He needed a cold shower or a long workout session. Or both. Yes, both would be the best option before seeing his soul bonded again.
Tara stared at the closed door as her heart continued to pound. Her mind couldn’t be still as the last thirty minutes played on repeat in her head. She didn’t know intimacy could be like that with someone, not that she had any experience with being intimate. But she’d honestly hadn’t had a clue that it could feel so … so incredibly indescribable. For those brief minutes where she’d been in Elias’s arms, his lips on hers and his hands gripping her, she’d wanted nothing more than to give him everything she was. She hungered to share in the intimacy of something she would never give anyone else, nor would he. But when they stopped and she had time to get her faculties together, she knew she wasn’t ready. Soul bonded or not, they still didn’t really know each other. According to him, he’d never been in a long-term relationship. Neither of them knew what it took to have a good relationship, at least not from experience.
Tara had seen her parents' marriage, and they’d had a good one. They’d never hidden their arguments from her, and when they did argue, they never resorted to name-calling or yelling. Her mother and father had kept things civil, and they’d apologized when needed. She’d watched them be tender with one another and playful. She’d seen her dad hold her mom and offer comfort when her mother was hurt or sad. She knew their relationship hadn’t been perfect, but then, whose was? But it was the closest thing she knew of. That was what she hoped to have. She wanted to look at a man the way her mom had looked at her dad. And she wanted a man to look at her with the same type of adoration with which her dad had looked at her mom. Tara wanted to give her and Elias a chance at making it.
She let out a sigh
, fell back onto the bed, and stared up at the ceiling. So much had happened in the last few months. She missed Shelly so badly, and she was worried about her friend. “And here I was making out with my boyfriend,” Tara muttered under her breath, suddenly ashamed. Though she knew Shelly wouldn’t see it that way. Her best-freaky-friend-forever would have been cheering her on and then begging for details, complaining all the while Tara wasn’t being forthcoming. Tara’s heart ached as she thought about her friend and how powerless she was to help. Tara hadn’t realized just how much vibrance and light Shelly had brought into her life over the years … and to think, Tara had tried continuously to push her away. Now, she would do anything to get her friend back. She wondered if Shelly was still unconscious. Did she know what was going on? Could she feel the heat of the underworld? Were demons trying to hurt her as she lay helpless in her coma-like state?
“UGH,” she ground out as she fisted her hands. Dwelling on it wasn’t going to change anything. But she would anyway. Tara would worry and fret and even rage over the fact that her best friend was in harm's way … and it was because of her. Maybe it would have been better if Tara had succeeded in pushing her friend away. Then Shelly wouldn’t have been in a position to get hurt. But then Tara would have been completely alone for all these years. Sure, she’d have had her foster mom, Carol, but that wasn’t the same as having a friend her own age, someone who understood what it was like to live and survive junior high and high school. Tara hoped Shelly wouldn’t have to pay the ultimate price for being her friend.
Tara’s eyes began to feel heavy as her emotions weighed her down. The last time she’d felt this scared had been when her parents died. She’d suddenly been thrown into a great big world all alone with no one to protect her or love her. She’d been terrified, and yet she’d somehow kept it together by the skin of her teeth. Now, as she laid in a bed that wasn’t her own, in a place that wasn’t her home, Tara’s heart broke open, and the tears she rarely let fall came pouring out of her.
She hurt for her parents and the horrible death they had experienced. She hurt for herself and the terror she’d experienced as a young girl. She hurt for the difficult times she’d put Carol through and for how mean she’d been to Shelly. And now she added a new wound because her friend was in hell … literally.
Tears streamed down her face, and her chest shook as she let herself dissolve into a weeping mess. Tara rolled to her side and wrapped her arms around her gathered legs.
“I want them back,” she whispered through her tears. “I want them all back, and I don’t ever want to be alone again.” She knew it was impossible, but that didn’t change the cry of her heart. There were holes inside of her she knew would never be filled. There was pain she didn’t think would ever go away.
“I’m so sorry, Shelly,” she said, wishing her friend could hear her and feel the sincerity in her words. “I would take your place in a heartbeat.” Without thought or worry, Tara would lay down her life for her friend, and she knew Shelly would do the same for her.
Tara didn’t move when she heard the door open. For once, she didn’t care if someone saw her falling apart. She was tired of trying to be strong. Tara didn’t want to have to bear the burdens anymore.
Strong arms came around her, and then a warm body completely enveloped hers. She recognized his scent right away. Elias. He was there, offering her safety and comfort.
“I’m sorry, love.” His deep voice whispered into her ear. “I would take it all away for you if I could.”
This only made her cry harder because she wanted that so badly. She needed him to fix it, to make it better.
“I can feel your pain. It’s like a gaping wound inside of me,” Elias said. He held her tighter, as if his arms could somehow keep her from shattering into a million pieces. She didn’t speak because there were no words. She simply wept, her sobs coming out in a sound she almost couldn’t believe was her own because of how broken it was. She wrapped her hands around his arms and held on tightly, afraid he might let her go.
“I’m not going anywhere,” he said. “I’m yours for as long as you will have me. And you are mine to care for. It is an honor to have you. Never doubt that!”
Tara didn’t know how she was lucky enough to have him, but she didn’t care. She wouldn’t give him up.
Perhaps Tara could find a way to make up for all she’d done, to somehow redeem herself from her past.
“Shelly is going to be all right,” Elias told her.
“How can you say that? How can you promise me something that you have no control over?” she asked, though not unkindly. She just didn’t want to have false hope. Tara would rather prepare herself for the worst, then if the worst didn’t happen, she would be pleasantly surprised.
“I can promise you because Ra promised, and Ra doesn’t break his promises. It has something to do with his heritage.”
She frowned. “What do you mean?”
Elias sat back and pulled her so that she was sitting sideways across his lap. She rested her cheek on his shoulder and watched as he entwined their fingers.
“Ra is a descendant of Ramses the Great,” he said.
Tara nearly laughed but then realized that he was serious. “Oh, okay. So, what does that have to do with not breaking promises?”
“It’s kind of a long story,” he said.
She shrugged. “I’ve got nowhere to be at the moment.”
“How about we move this to somewhere that isn’t the bathroom floor?”
“Not the bed,” she said quickly as she climbed up from his lap.
Elias laughed. “Not going to say I’m not disappointed, but I will concede the bed is a dangerous place. How about the floor in front of the bed?”
Tara walked into the bedroom and sat down on the carpeted floor at the foot of the bed. She was beginning to lean back against it when Elias sat beside her and once again plucked her up as if she weighed nothing. He sat her across his lap and entwined their fingers once again.
“Comfortable?” she asked, smirking.
“I like holding you,” he said matter-of-factly.
How was she supposed to tease him about that when he said it with such sincerity?
“So, the ancient Egyptians, Ramses’ people in particular,” he began, “worshipped many gods. But the one they were most loyal to was Osiris, the lord of the underworld. They believed him to be the most powerful because he had dominion over the dead. They thought if they worshipped him and gave him their allegiance, then he would grant them some sort of favor in the afterlife.”
“He’s the lord of hell,” Tara said. “Didn’t that give them a clue he wasn’t a good dude?”
“Evil often cloaks itself in light. It tells lies wrapped in truth so one becomes misguided and led astray. Whatever Osiris promised them, it was enough to make them believe that they would not suffer the fate of others that went to the underworld.”
“Please tell me Ra isn’t that dense.”
Elias chuckled. “No, he isn’t. And if he was, Liam, Aston, and I would knock some sense into him.”
“Thank goodness for good friends,” Tara murmured.
“When Ra’s parents began teaching him about his heritage before they died, they shared all of this with him. They were still loyal to Osiris.”
“In this day and age?” she asked, trying to sit up and look at him. He held her close so she couldn’t wriggle free.
“Do you want me to tell you the story?”
“Oh, my bad,” she said, smiling sheepishly. “Carry on.”
“Thank you, princess,” Elias said dryly. “It wasn’t until after his parents' death and the discovery of the world of the elementals that Ra learned the truth of his people. Ra has been to the underworld before. It was actually before he went to Crimson Academy.”
“Did he think he was going crazy?”
Elias tapped her mouth with his finger and said, “Hush.”
Tara snapped at him with her teeth, and he snatched his han
d away.
“Vicious female,” he said and kissed her on the temple.
“You hushed me, you Neanderthal.”
“As I was saying, Ra went to the underworld when he turned sixteen. According to his ancestors, once he became the head of his household, so to speak, because of his father’s passing, he was to receive the memories of his ancestors. Apparently, his parents hadn’t mentioned that to him. They also didn’t mention that all the males in his bloodline had been promised to Osiris.”
“Is there a happy ending to this story, because I don’t think I can handle anymore heartache.”
“Ra’s story isn’t over yet, so the ending is still to be determined,” Elias said. “Osiris sent for Ra, and one of the demons took him to the underworld. He met his ancestors and received their memories. Ramses also shared with Ra how it was possible to keep from sharing in his people’s fate. There were two things Ra would have to do in order to avoid being sent to the underworld upon his death.
“He would have to give a great sacrifice, and he would have to keep his promises. If he chooses to make a promise, then he cannot break it.”
“So, in essence, he has to be the opposite of what a demon is,” Tara pointed out.
Elias nodded. “Yes. That’s exactly what he has to do. He has to show that he isn’t corrupt like his ancestors. Ramses wanted power, and it didn’t matter how he gained it. Ra said when he came back from the underworld, he knew he would do anything to avoid the fate of his ancestors. If Ra says he’s going to bring Shelly back, then that is exactly what he will do.”
“Wow,” she whispered. “I can’t imagine the amount of pressure he must live with. Wait…” She leaned forward and turned to face him. “What about his parents? Are they in the underworld? Holy crap, that would be horrible.”
“I honestly don’t know,” Elias said. “Ra hasn’t spoken about them, and none of us have asked. I imagine it is very painful for him to think about, especially if there is nothing he can do to help them.”
If his parents were in the underworld, essentially hell, she couldn’t imagine how painful that would be. It would be horrific.