I'm Doin' Me 2

by Anna Black

  He quickly lifted his head and looked into her eyes. Rose could tell he was looking for a sincere confirmation from her, but she said nothing. “I felt confident that I did the right thing.”

  “Are you sure?” she asked.

  “Let me show you just how sure I am,” he said going down on one knee. “I had my life planned out with Paris, and then life told me otherwise, and then I met you. I don’t want to start over or meet anyone else. I want to build with you. Rosemary Lynette Jennings, will you marry me?”

  Without hesitation the words “Yes yes yes!” escaped her mouth. The words sprang out of her mouth before he could remove the ring from the box. He kissed her and slid the ring on her finger. The diamond was small, but Rose didn’t care. She knew he wasn’t a high roller, but he had a heart of gold.

  “Thank you, baby, thank you.”

  “Oh my God, I can’t wait to tell Tiffany,” she beamed.

  “Hold on, baby, hold on. I have to ask you a huge favor, and if the answer is no, I won’t be mad at you,” he said interrupting her celebration.

  Oh Lord, Rose thought. How he gon’ propose, and then ask for a loan or something that may make me want to give the ring back? “What is it, Levi?”

  “I can’t take you around my family and friends for a while. They all adored Paris, and if I show up with a new fiancée—” she stopped him.

  “Enough said, Levi. I know what you’re asking, and I believe it’s for the best as well.”

  “Thanks for understanding, Rose. You know how family can be.”

  “Yes, I do,” she said.

  He sighed and dropped his head. “I can’t stay long, baby. I have to go and be with my family. Can I come back tonight?”

  “Yes, of course.” She didn’t want him to go, but she knew he had a lot to deal with.

  “Thanks, baby. I’m so grateful to have met you.”

  “Me too, baby, now go and do what you have to do, and I’ll wait up for you.” The corner of her lips turned up slightly. She didn’t want to seem too happy and come off insensitive, but she was excited that she was going to have a chance to be with someone. Someone she had fallen in love with. Someone she was extremely attracted to. Someone she hadn’t “settled” for.

  He kissed her. “Okay, I love you.”

  “I love you too.”

  He disappeared into the house, and a few short moments later, she got up to go and lock the door. Levi was right; it wasn’t safe, no matter how great the neighborhood was. She locked the door, went for her phone, and called Tiffany to share the news.

  I’m So Sorry

  Episode 21

  Tressa

  That afternoon, Tressa sat out on her balcony looking out on the ocean. Her father and mother had called her ten-plus times, and she didn’t answer. Her dad texted asking if she was okay, and she didn’t answer that either. Her mind was blank. She couldn’t gather one thought. All she knew is that she wanted to disappear. A tear fell, and then another, and then another, and the breeze chilled her face because she didn’t wipe her tears away.

  “I’m such a failure and an embarrassment. I just want this life to be over with God. I just want a new life, a new me, someone my father could be proud of. I can’t see him like this. I’m a junkie, and it’s impossible for me to stay clean.”

  After she gave the night before some thought, a few things came back to her, and she remembered telling herself just one drink and just one line. She actually believed that she would be able to have one hit of liquor and coke, but that wasn’t the case. She fell right back into what she was accustomed to doing, the only thing she knew how to do best, and that was party, get wasted, and have a good time.

  After she loosened up and let the pressure of her peers convince her how she was in control of the drugs and alcohol and not the other way around, she convinced herself that that bullshit was true and let her guard down. She tossed her suit jacket, undid a few buttons on her blouse, and let loose. She toasted, threw back shots, and inhaled a few lines. After that, she remembers kissing the stranger and letting him take her to one of Stephen’s spare rooms. She hadn’t had sex in over a year, so he didn’t have to say much to get her out of her clothes. She shook her head when she thought about him penetrating her anally. She remembered the pain, the burn, but she was so high she took it.

  Once the shock wore off, when she got home, the discomfort reminded her just how careless she had been.

  “You are a stupid, spoiled, little rich bitch,” the words seemed to be in Dolby surround sound in her ear as she thought about the words he said to her when he poked and pried her body from behind. Thinking hard, she remembered it was a nameless man that she had turned down several times before that was ugly as hell to her. He treated her that way and talked to her that way because he had finally caught her at her weakest moment, and she gave that bastard her body, she gathered, thinking about his cocky attitude when they went into that room.

  Embarrassment, guilt, remorse, shame, and humiliation were the first words to overpower her emotions when she thought about what she had done. “You don’t deserve another chance,” she cried. She pulled her knees up against her chest, wrapped her arms around her legs, and sobbed so hard she thought she would hyperventilate.

  She looked out at the water, and her eyes were so full of tears that she couldn’t see it clearly. Her sobs grew louder, and then she heard her phone. It was her father again. “I’m sorry, Daddy. I’m so sorry, Daddy,” she cried, looking at her phone, hoping it would stop ringing. “Please, Daddy, I’ve fucked up again, and I’m sorry. I can’t face you and Mommy. I can’t. I’m a failure. I’m a walking disaster,” she yelled. “I’m a fuckup!” she continued. Two seconds later, her phone went off again and again. It was her father.

  She reached for the phone, and her hand trembled uncontrollably. What would she say, what would she tell him? How could she tell him what she had done?

  “I’m sorry,” she whispered again. She got up and went inside, leaving her cell phone on the glass patio table. She shut the French doors and walked in a daze to her bedroom. She stood there and looked at herself in the mirror, and she didn’t recognize who she was. She walked closer and touched it, but her reflection showed a pale-faced drug addict with no future, no hope, and no reason to live.

  “Yes yes yes! Tressa Isabella Green, it’s the right thing to do. They won’t miss you. They will be relieved not to have to rescue you again. They will not have to be embarrassed anymore or ashamed. Yes, Tressa, it’s time. It’s the right thing to do.” She swiped the tears from her cheeks and went into her walk-in closet. She looked at all the privileges she had her entire life. Her closet was the size of a small room, and she looked at the racks and racks of clothes, shelves and shelves of shoes, and the chest of drawers that lined the walls with drawers upon drawers of jewelry, things she may not have even worn in over five years, but expensive, designer-, and most custom-made.

  Shelf upon shelf of hats and designer bags and other accessories—and that was the closet at her home, not nearly as massive as the one at her parents’ place. “I don’t deserve any of this. Daddy, you were right to give Tiffany my inheritance. I am a spoiled rich bitch, and I’m sorry for all the hell that you and Mommy have suffered because of me.” She went over to a shoe box and pulled it down from the shelf. Then she opened it and sat on the floor. There it was, uncut and pure, and she knew it wasn’t going to take much to be lethal.

  She prepared it, fed it into the syringe, and then tied off her arm. She wanted to think twice about it, but she injected herself so fast to keep from changing her mind and released its contents into her vein. It burned like hell, but the heat of it was nothing compared to the sudden pounding of her heart. It thumped so hard against her chest, and her body started to jerk uncontrollably. She couldn’t scream because within seconds, her throat filled with a thick saliva, and she felt herself choking.

  What she imagined would be quick and painless . . . wasn’t . . . far from it. Even th
ough she was gone in less than five minutes, she felt every second of it. She couldn’t control her jerking body or unclog her throat. She lay still for a while and just gurgled. The tears ran into her ears and hair as she lay there wishing the suffering would end. Her last thought before she took her last breath and her heart stopped was of her daddy. Her lips almost formed a smile, because Tressa finally felt free. She no longer had to impress, suppress, or strive for excellence. She had won the fight, and she thought she’d be free on the other side. As she inserted the needle into her arm, she prayed and hoped her parents understood, that she didn’t want to cause them any more pain. She didn’t want to suffer or cause them to suffer another moment.

  Why Me?

  Episode 22

  Tiffany

  Tiffany walked into the kitchen to retrieve her phone from the center island. She looked at the ID and wondered why Mr. Green was calling her. That Monday was a holiday, so she hoped he was well. He almost never interrupted her weekends and holidays, so she quickly answered. “Hello, Mr. Green, how are you?”

  “Hello, Tiffany, I’m doing well, how about you?”

  “I’m great. What’s going on?”

  “Nothing too much. I was calling to see if you have heard from or seen Isabella. Yesterday, my wife and I decided to take a little trip down the coast for a little getaway, and we were supposed to come back today, but since it’s a holiday weekend, we’ve decided to stay longer, I’ve been trying to let Isabella know of our plans. The last time I spoke with her, she said she was working this weekend on a project you had given her.”

  “No, Mr. Green, Tressa and I hardly ever talk outside of work unless she has a work-related question, and I haven’t spoken to her since I left TiMax on Friday.”

  “Well, normally, she’d go home, you know, to our estate, but my staff said she didn’t come home last night. I’ve called her several times, and since the incident last year, we check in on her often, so it’s not like her to not answer her phone. We now talk at least five times a day, and my wife and I have been calling and texting her all day.”

  “I don’t know, Mr. Green. I have no idea. Have you spoken to Amber?”

  “Yes, I tried her first, but she and her husband are in Vegas for a medical convention, and she hasn’t talked to her either, and I don’t want to be a worry wart, but I’m concerned about my baby. You know her past is not far behind us.”

  “I understand, Mr. Green, what do you need me to do? I mean, I don’t even know where to begin to look for her,” Tiffany said. Kory walked into the kitchen and gave her a questioning look, and she hunched her shoulders.

  “Back in the day when Isa would party, she’d go to her condo on the beach. Can you start there for me? I mean, other than that, she’d be at the spa.”

  “Okay, but you know Tressa. She may not let me in,” Tiffany said being honest. They had overcome, but Tiffany didn’t know how welcoming Tressa would be.

  “As long as she opens the door, let her know that her mother and I are worried sick, out of our minds. She may be trying to hide some new clothes or shoes because she may have gone over her monthly spending limit, I don’t know, but I need you to get into her place to make sure, because I just have a funny feeling that something is wrong. We made a vow to each other to not go a day without speaking, and for her to not answer worries me. There is a gray potted plant that has a fake rock sitting on top of the soil. Under that rock is a key, so if she doesn’t answer, please use that key and the gate code is 1172. The alarm system in her place is 4943.

  “There have been times I’ve found her passed out after binges, and I need to make sure she’s okay. I know we’ve had a good year, but my wife I have been watching her like a child since rehab, and last night was the first night we left her on her own since rehab. I was confident she’d be okay. She assured me she would, but I am on pins and needles.”

  “I understand, Mr. Green. Kory and I will head over now.”

  “Thank you, Tiffany. The only reason I’m calling you is because if there is an unsightly situation, I can trust you will keep our family business private and not rush off to the media or tabloids.”

  “Of course, Mr. Green. You can trust me. You know I’d never do that to you and your family. Kory and I will go and find her for you.”

  “Thank you, Tiffany, and please call me as soon as you locate her.”

  “I will, sir,” she assured him and ended the call.

  “What was that about?” Kory asked before she could put her phone back onto the island.

  “Mr. Green and his wife are out of town, and they can’t reach Tressa. He’s concerned that maybe she had something to drink or used again, so he wants me to go over to her place.”

  “And you want me to go with you?”

  “You are my husband. Of course, I do,” she said and put her hands on her hips.

  He walked over to her, pulled her close, and ran his hands down her back and cupped her bottom. She loved to be in Kory’s arms, so she reached up and wrapped her arms around his neck.

  “Baby, I mean . . . I know we are all trying to act as if the past is the past, but I’m not sure how cool Tressa truly is with us now. You say she acts the part at work, but this is Tressa we’re talking about. No matter how much everyone thinks she’s changed, I still have my reservations.”

  “Kory, get over yourself. Tressa didn’t even want you back then,” she laughed. “She was with you for her money, man,” she continued to tease him.

  “What?” his voiced raised. “She wanted me. I know that she did,” he defended playfully.

  “She didn’t, and you are going with me, Mr. Banks.”

  He didn’t argue. Tiffany threw on a sundress, some flip-flops, and they headed to Tressa’s. Kory didn’t need directions. He remembered where she lived because he’d gone there a few times when they were a couple. They parked, but Kory didn’t move to get out of the car.

  She looked at him with a side eye. “Let’s go,” she said.

  “Nah, I’m going to stay in the car.”

  “Wrong answer, now come on, Kory!” Tiffany ordered. He undid his seat belt and got out. She followed him to Tressa’s unit, and Tiffany knocked. A few moments later, after knocking like crazy, a neighbor opened their door.

  “You might want to go inside if you can. She’s in pretty bad shape this time,” she said.

  Kory and Tiffany looked at the elderly lady. “Bad shape? What do you mean?” Tiffany inquired.

  “She got in this morning, and I could hear her crying out here while she tried to open the door. She was mumbling obscene words and talking as if she was scolding herself. About thirty minutes later, from my balcony, I heard her out on her balcony, sobbing. She was talking to herself, saying how she was evil, and her father would never forgive her again. The poor girl was saying so many bad things to herself and kept going on and on how sorry she was and saying. ‘I’m sorry, Daddy, I’m sorry, Daddy,’ and her phone kept ringing. Now I’m old, but I’ve heard her in some odd situations, but today was different. Never heard her cry so much or say ‘I’m sorry’ so many times.

  “I knocked several times, but she never answered. She’s not crying anymore, but I can hear her phone on the balcony. It’s been ringing off the hook since this morning.”

  “Thank you, ma’am.” Tiffany looked at Kory.

  “You’re welcome. I hope she’s okay. I heard she got all cleaned up and got herself together. I liked seeing her smile and being nice, not how she used to be,” the lady said, and then stepped back and disappeared into her condo. Tiffany went for the key that Mr. Green told her about. She opened the door, then she and Kory slowly walked in. “Tressa?” Tiffany called out, but only silence answered her. Kory went over to the French doors.

  “There’s her phone on the patio table,” he said and opened the doors to get it.

  “Tressa, it’s me, Tiffany. Mr. Green wanted me to check on you.” Tiffany spoke loudly so Tressa could hear her if she was in the other room. She
eased closer to Tressa’s bedroom. The door was wide open, but she didn’t see Tressa.

  “Maybe she left?” Kory said.

  Tiffany turned back and examined the room. “Without her phone? And her purse is over there, so I doubt it.” Tiffany turned back toward her room. “Tressa, it’s me, Tiffany. Are you decent? I’m coming in,” Tiffany yelled out as she entered the room. The bed was made, and her room was spotless. Tiffany went over to what she thought was the bathroom door and tapped. “Tressa, are you in here? Your parents are concerned,” Tiffany yelled, but heard nothing. She opened the door, hoping Tressa wasn’t in the tub sleeping. The bathroom too was spotless, but she saw a towel on the vanity. She touched it. It was still a little damp, so Tressa had been there.

  She went to leave and saw the closet door was half-opened. Tiffany laughed. “Now, Tressa, if you are on this closet floor sleeping, I’m telling everybody at TiMax,” she joked and opened the door. She saw Tressa’s pedicured toes and feet. Apparently she was on the floor asleep on the other side of the dresser that sat in the center of her enormous closet. Tiffany laughed again, thinking Tressa was crazy to be on that floor sleeping and figured she may have had a few drinks. She proceeded to walk closer—and then let out a blood-curdling scream when she saw her.

  Kory came running. Tiffany had fallen backward against the hanging clothes, and she luckily grabbed hold of some hanging items to keep from hitting the floor.

  “What is it, baby, what’s wrong?” Kory asked.

  Tiffany started to shake and cry at the sight of Tressa’s body. Kory looked confused, but he hurried over . . . and then he saw Tressa. There was blood oozing from her mouth and nose, and the barely dried foam around her mouth let him know that she had foamed at the mouth. “Baby, go dial 911,” Kory yelled and went to try to aid Tressa. Her eyes were wide opened and when Kory checked, she had no pulse. Her body had already begun to feel cold. Kory knew she was gone. Tiffany slid down to the carpeted floor and sobbed. Kory closed Tressa’s eyes and went to assist his wife.