In Memoriam

by Michael Beaulieu

  So what if her sample matches? She lived in the same house. What are they trying to prove? I want to scream OUT LOUD right now.

  Jim swallows hard and hesitates a few seconds before answering, making me want to yell that much more. Well, the thing is, they didn’t find any fingerprints on the knife. And when they tested it for DNA, they didn’t find Jenna’s.

  I pull my hand away from Jim’s then my hands curl into fists and I start to get the sensation I feel in them just before I turn on the electricity. It’s almost like getting a seizure aura, but just in your hands. These micro vibrations So, what? If Priscilla’s DNA matches whatever DNA they found then they pin the murder on her? I haven’t been this upset since we fought J. A few tiny sparks form on my hands.

  “Hold on a sec. Take some deep breaths, Em. You’re about to burst into a ball of electricity in front of fifteen people – and hospital security cameras.”

  We stop walking. Maybe that’s what I want? Maybe I should juice all of these motherfuckers, especially the damn feds, and teleport Priscilla out of here? I feel small balls of electricity starting to form in the center of my hands. And boy, do they want me to use them. But I suppose I’m getting carried away.

  Jim rubs my back. It’s OK. We can talk about making a magickal intervention Thursday if she isn’t cleared. For tonight, I think we just need to pray and try not to freak out too much.

  I don’t see why this DNA shit should have anything to do with us visiting her.

  Me neither. But we have to accept it for now.

  Right. I know he’s right. I breath in and out a few times. And, yes, I tell myself to reste calme. [I should be fucking livid, though.] After another few breaths, the electricity leaves my hands. I speak in an even, cool-headed tone. You didn’t answer my question about what happens if her DNA matches whatever they found on the knife. Are they looking to blame her for their parents’ deaths?

  He shakes his head. I don’t know, Emma. I mean, I don’t think so. Agent Larousse thinks this is a pure formality. They’re only looking into it because the case was a national news story. Apparently, the mainstream media and tabloids were all over it. They figured someone killed the parents and abducted both daughters. And when there were rumors about one of the girls killing their parents, usually people blamed Priscilla. According to Agent Larousse, it was probably because Jenna was younger – if only by a year – and had better grades. Priscilla was the one who got C’s and D’s and detentions and skipped school for the first time when she was nine.

  The elevator opens. We wait for two doctors and a nurse to exit before we get on. “This is so fucked up,” I say as the elevator shuts.

  “Yeah, but Agent Larousse is pretty sure they won’t match Priscilla’s DNA to the murder weapon. So, again, let’s try not to worry about it. We should find out if it matches by tomorrow afternoon.”

  He rubs my back again. You could say that the center of my back is like this magick button that calms me down when you touch it. Like when you rub an alligator’s belly.

  I wish January was here right now. She could relax me even more. How am I not supposed to worry that Priscilla’s DNA will match and she’ll wind up in a prison of a different sort? Of course, it would be a big upgrade from her cell at J’s but she deserves to enjoy the rest of her life, not be stuck behind bars again. “If her DNA is a match the media will be her judge, jury and executioner. Look how everyone blamed Amanda Knox and everything she went through.”

  Jim looks surprised. “You don’t think she was guilty?”

  I continue to make an effort to stay calm as I make my argument. “No. I read her autobiography and she points out a lot of interesting facts. Like they didn’t even find her DNA anywhere in the room of the girl she supposedly killed, Meredith. If Amanda had been in there fighting with her, and stabbing her, then her DNA would’ve been all over that room. But it wasn’t. Not one trace. Yet the Italian public blamed her anyway and she did jail time. And they still want the U.S. to send her back for yet another trial. It’s so fucked up.”

  “I see your argument,” Jim says and kisses my cheek. “But try to reste calme or whatever you girls are always saying.”

  I almost laugh. Hearing Jim try to talk French is hilarious, his Massachusetts accent being stronger than most Massholes’. It sounded like “rusty call me.”

  We just sat down in Jim’s car. Without saying a word, we put the iced coffees we grabbed from Dunkin’ inside the hospital in the drink holder then lean toward each other and our lips meet. Sadly, Jim opted for pumpkin ice coffee tonight and his mouth tastes a bit like nutmeg, one of the few spices I can’t stand. It just tastes like dirt to me. However, I don’t stop kissing him. Not until he stops after a full minute.

  “I love you,” he whispers.

  “Je t’aime aussi,” I whisper back.

  We kiss again for a few seconds but then I have to pull away. “Would you mind terribly if I teleport to Priscilla’s room – invisibly, of course – and just tell her what’s going on real quick? She didn’t seem to grasp what’s happening.”

  “Maybe not knowing is better than knowing in this case,” he says. “I think she’d freak out even harder if you told her. Plus, she was out of circulation for 15 years. I doubt she even knows what DNA is.”

  “Hmm, good point,” I say.

  CHAPTER TWENTY TWO

  JANUARY

  I just locked myself in my bedroom five minutes ago and I’m totally having a fairy freak out. I can’t believe I brought up my crush on Emma to Lia and Shar! How moronic was that? The three of them have an inseparable bond. It’s like they’re stuck together with surgical strength super glue. And they’re guaran-fucking-teed to tell her the next time they talk. I mean, sure, they said they wouldn’t say unless she specifically asked, but can I believe that? As sure as my wings are flapping as I fly around my room in circles, I’d like to think so. However, if I’d been friends with someone since I was seven and someone told me they had a crush on them, I’d break down and spill the beans as soon as possible. At the same time, if it wasn’t for me, Lia would be dead. And that’s not exaggeration. Not even a fairy-sized exaggeration. She was shot so many times that even the best surgeons in the world couldn’t save her. Matter of fact, she was already on her way toward the light, when I healed her at the shooting. I’d like to think that buys me at least an ounce of loyalty. It should, right? Because someone is indebted to you if you saved their life, aren’t they? At least enough to keep one secret, I hope. And if Lia is loyal to me, then you know Shar will be because she lets Lia make a lot of decisions for the two of them. I’m not saying she’s a push over, mind you. I just mean Lia is the alpha and Shar is the beta. She’s just a very mellow person who likes to keep the peace. Nothing wrong with that. She does hold her ground when something is really important to her or she has a strong opinion.

  I don’t know what I expected to happen when I asked them if Emma would kiss me back. But Lia said she thinks she would and Shar seemed to agree, which has me feeling a little more than excited! Of course, it didn’t seem like they want me to kiss her, but they didn’t forbid it.

  I do get that Emma loves Jim. And I love Pete. Although, I’m getting frustrated with him. He just seems more interested in trying spells than being with me since Jim gave him some of his magick yesterday. And I’m pissed that he agreed to help those hackers with whatever shit they’re up to this afternoon. I don’t know if I’m even going to ask what they did because the answer would probably make me furious.

  I’m also kind of pissed that he hasn’t sent me so much as a single text since just after school when he said he couldn’t meet me outside. Is he really acting like a bunch of hackers are more important than I am? I get that he thinks he’s keeping us all safe by appeasing them, worrying that we could all get booted out of Greenmont High if they dropped word that he hacked our way in. But the school has to suspect something already, right? I mean, just Emma, Lia and Shar getting into the same school after the year
has already started would probably arise some suspicion. But me, Pete and Jim getting in, too? The odds of that happening organically are like slim to none. Because most of the world knows we’re all friends, thank you tabloids. So, the school must know something is up. Then again, Tim died during the shooting as far as the world knows. Jim has no connection to us other than the fact that he recently started dating Emma. But they might know about Pete and I because we were occasionally mentioned in the tabloids. But I doubt they could kick us all out because of what Pete did. Maybe him and I because I’m his G.F., but Emma, Lia and Shar could play stupid and pretend they didn’t know. Besides, the school wouldn’t want the heat they’d attract from expelling the Noah’s Catholic shooting survivors. They’d have protests for weeks. Come to think of it, it was probably out of sympathy that they school didn’t question them being in the same school and most of the same classes. So, yeah, they definitely wouldn’t kick them out. But enough pondering that shit!

  I revert back into normal human mode, lie down on my bed and stare at the ceiling for a couple minutes. Then I roll onto my side and grab my phone from my backpack. After entering the security code – 3213 – I’m surprised to see that I don’t have any texts from Pete. I figured he would’ve been done helping out club hacker by now.

  I text him: “Still busy?”

  He replies immediately: “No.”

  Then he sends another text: “I bailed on them. They were into some wicked dark shit. I’ll tell you about it tomorrow. But when I was leaving they threatened to tell the school I hacked our way in.”

  Me: “Great. Just what we feared. What do you think will happen if they do that?”

  Pete: “I think the rest of you will be OK, but I’ll probably get expelled.”

  Me: “Expelled???? Like, permanently?”

  He doesn’t answer right away. At the risk of sounding cliche, the suspense is fucking killing me.

  He finally texts a minute and a half later: “I’m really not sure. Maybe I should’ve done what they wanted. Guess I’ll text them and tell them I’ll do it tomorrow if they don’t report me to school.”

  I reply as fast as humanly possible. “No! Absolutely not!”

  Pete: “Why? You don’t like seeing me at school?”

  Me: “Of course, I do! But you won’t be at school for long if you go to jail for helping them.”

  Pete: “Guess that’s a good point. How was your afternoon with Lia and Shar?”

  Me: “OK. We hung out at Happy Accidents for a few hours then Juliana picked us up and brought me home.”

  Pete: “Was it fun?”

  Me: “Yes. Fun and kind of relaxing.”

  Pete: “Sweet. See you outside school tomorrow morning? I’ve gotta go do some damn homework.”

  Me: “Of course. I wouldn’t miss you for the world.”

  I suppose I shouldn’t have said that last bit when the truth is that I’m crushing on Emma, but I do love him, too. I’m just obsessing over her a tad bit more at the moment. Besides, I think it’s possible to like more than one person at once. Maybe that’s the fairy in me because many fairies are polyamourous. It’s not uncommon to see three or more of them all romantically involved with each other. Fairies are super affectionate like that. I guess that’s the kind of relationship Lia and Shar wanted to have with Emma – a thruple or whatever they call it – but then she turned out to be straight. Except now I think she’s starting to question that. The thing is, I don’t know if she’s just starting to like girls in general or if I’m the only one she’s ever been attracted to. I’d like to think I’m her sole girl crush, but at the same time I’d be less worried about approaching her if I knew she was realizing that she’s bisexual. I just think it puts more pressure on me if I’m the only girl she’s ever wanted. Plus, if I’m the only one, who knows if she’d really go through with having sex with a girl? She might kiss me then get down there and realize she isn’t into it. Like, at all. That would be awkward, now wouldn’t it?

  CHAPTER TWENTY THREE

  SHAR

  “The more I think about it, I’m convinced that Emma has a genuine crush on January,” Lia says as we sit down on her bed. We’ve just returned from dropping January off at home.

  I shrug. “Isn’t it obvious?”

  “I don’t know. It’s like one minute she’s looking at January like she wants to gobble her up and the next she’s making out with Jim.”

  Ain’t that the truth. “I know. Guess she’s torn. But I’m starting to think she likes January more.”

  Li’s eyebrows cinch. “Think Em could be a lesbian?” She looks serious, but from her tone it’s obvious that she’s teasing me.

  I do suspect she might be, but I don’t know if I should say so right now. “If I say yes are you gonna give me shit about wanting her to be with us again?”

  She smirks at me. “Shar, do you have a crush on Emma?”

  I shake my head. “No. She’s like a sister.” That’s the reality. I did crush on her in the past, but that stopped shortly after Lia and I hooked up the first time and Emma declined to be with us. Well, OK, aside from the occasional sexual thoughts, but those were fleeting and random. These days, I can admire Em’s beauty, but it’s Li who holds the key to my heart and everything else.

  “But you and I were like sisters,” Li says, deadpan.

  Of course, I already know that. I’m just not sure what it has to do with Em’s alleged crush on January. “Wait. Do you want me to say I have a crush on Em?”

  “Only if you do.”

  I still can’t figure out what she’s getting at. I know she’s half-joking, but maybe she actually thinks I’m crushing on Em. “Then, no, I don’t have a crush on Em.”

  “Pinky swear?” She offers me her pinky, smiling.

  I wrap my pinky around hers. “Pinky swear.”

  “Alrighty, then.” She bites her lip and gives me her seductive eyes, batting her lashes, as she uses my pinky to pull me in.

  We lean in close and our noses touch. Mine tickles and makes me laugh for a second.

  Li shakes her head. “Seriously? You choose now to laugh?”

  “Well, if your nose hadn’t tried to feel up mine maybe I wouldn’t have. But I can make it up to you.” I take off my shirt and toss it on the floor.

  Li does the same. Bras follow.

  Our lips meet and we kiss so hungrily you’d think we were trying to feed each other our tongues as we lie down on the bed.

  CHAPTER TWENTY FOUR

  EMMA

  I just finished studying. I did all my homework at school, but you never know when there’s going to be a quiz. And while my memory is improving, it’s still far from perfect. Only the really important things are being photographically retained, but that’s better than having my photographic memory completely gone like a few weeks ago. In any case, I figured it would be wise to study for a little while and be prepared. I do take school seriously. In fact, I’m a straight A student. It’s not something I go around telling people because I don’t want to be thought of as one of those uptight, anti-social nerds who only care about their grades. Nothing against nerds, but there’s more to me than my GPA.

  I get up from my desk and sit on my bed next to Mister Black, who’s been napping while I studied. His sapphire eyes open and he starts purring before I even start petting him. He must have really missed me today because he meowed five times when I walked in the door. He usually meows once or twice, maybe three times if I’ve stayed over Lia’s two nights in a row, but five has to be a record.

  After leaving the hospital, Jim and I were both stressed so we went and sat on a bench on the boulevard in Lowell and drank our iced coffees. I tried to relax, but I wasn’t just anxious – I was feeling pretty depressed. I just feel so bad for Krystal and Priscilla. They went through such horrible things. I want to help them, but I’m not entirely sure how. Great Grandmother Ruth said to be their friend and I’m trying to do that, but what if that’s not enough? At least Marissa said she�
��d take Krystal on as a patient when we stopped by her office on the way out of the hospital. I probably should’ve asked her to see Priscilla, too, but she said her office is technically not taking on any new patients right now because she’s so busy. That’s why they hired the therapist I’d never heard of until Krystal’s mother mentioned her.

  Both Krystal and Priscilla are acting so strong, which is admirable, but I fear that they’re still in a state of shock. Not the kind of shock where your whole system starts to fail, but the awful mental one where you still haven’t quite accepted what’s happened. When you’re in denial, basically, still experiencing the first stage of grief. When they finally accept what’s happened they’ll be angry, which is troubling me. Because angry, traumatized witches in a hospital sounds like a recipe for disaster. Of course, Krystal might be going home tomorrow. Hopefully, her parents talked to Marissa and scheduled an appointment. I’d feel a little calmer if I knew she saw Marissa before she left the hospital. Either way, I’m going to have to try to teach her how to use her magick. Mostly, to teach her restraint, that you don’t always have to turn the power up to 10 when the need for a spell arises. Mind you, I have no idea how powerful Krystal is, but she must pack a mean punch if her coven was nuclear enough for J to want to slay. We’ll have to teach Priscilla how to use magick, too, since she was prevented from doing so for the past 15 years. I bet she has some serious juice, too. If she takes her anger about what J did to her and uses it to fuel spells she could prove dangerous. She probably knows a lot of black magick spells, too, having seen J and company do them for 15 years. Let’s hope she doesn’t go there. I fear she might have a major meltdown if her DNA is found on the knife that J killed their parents with. I have no doubt that she’d react violently if they put her in handcuffs.