Resilience

by Alicia Rades

  * * *

  I jerked awake. The details of my dream began to slip away the moment my eyes opened. I mentally clamored to hold on to the memory, though I wasn’t sure why I bothered. It was only a dream.

  I blinked, trying to remember where I was. I stared up at a white ceiling bathed in soft lighting. The surface beneath me was hard and uncomfortable.

  “Have you heard of it?” a female voice asked from across the room.

  I pushed myself up. I’d been lying on the floor in Amalia’s break room beside the couch. Venn lay there with his eyes closed, his chest rising and falling slowly. The boils on his face had completely disappeared, though there was still swelling around his eyes. His hands had slimmed and looked like his again. I ran my fingers across the soft skin on his cheek. It felt like he was running a fever of a hundred degrees.

  “Rae.”

  Fiona’s voice caught my attention. I jerked away from Venn as if I’d been caught doing something wrong. I looked up to see everyone else seated at the break table.

  I rubbed the sleep from my eyes. “Why didn’t anyone wake me up?”

  Ryland shrugged. “You looked peaceful. Plus, Tea said you’d probably stab my eye out if I woke you.”

  I couldn’t argue with that.

  “What’s going on?” I asked.

  “Why don’t you come sit by us?” Sondra suggested, gesturing to the empty chair beside them.

  I glanced between it and Venn. I didn’t want to leave his side.

  “Venn could use some space,” Amalia said. “He needs to heal.”

  No way, bitch, was my first reaction. I almost let it slip out, too.

  “I’m fine here, thanks,” I said instead. “Can someone fill me in on what happened? Who were those guys?”

  “They were some of Matias’s men,” Sondra answered. “I recognized one of the guys from his security team. He must’ve sent them to follow us to make sure we weren’t trying to double-cross him or something. We noticed them following and confronted them.”

  I nodded in understanding.

  “Amalia was just going to tell us what she knows about the Artifact.” Fiona sounded excited.

  I sat with my back to the couch and draped Venn’s limp arm across my chest. My fingers laced in his. I placed a light kiss on the back of his hand while I listened.

  “It sounds like the artifact you’re describing is the Sapiens noctua, otherwise known as The Wise Owl,” Amalia said. “I remember my great aunt saying something about it before she passed. She was the only other witch in my family.”

  Sondra leaned forward. “What’d she say about it?”

  Amalia shrugged. “Just that it was very old. It was created centuries ago by a group of witches who wanted to block another witch’s powers, one who was using magic for all the wrong reasons. I don’t think it was ever intended to be used on a mass scale, only for the greater good.”

  “Did your aunt ever say what the object actually was?” Teagan asked.

  Amalia shook her head.

  Ryland shifted in his chair. “Did she mention where to find it or how to destroy it?”

  “No,” Amalia answered in a regretful tone. “All I know is that when magic returned, my aunt became very interested in it, to the point where her kids thought she’d gone completely off her rocker. She became very involved in the magical community and taught me most of what I know, though her magic was a lot more advanced than mine. I think she got a lot of her information from her past lives. I have yet to remember anything from mine.”

  “You believe in reincarnation?” I asked. “And Synchrony?”

  How did everyone I meet just know this stuff when the rest of the world still thought we were in the middle of the apocalypse?

  “Yes,” Amalia replied, “but only because my aunt told me. Most witches can perform magic but don’t actually know how it works.”

  It sounded like my boss, Devin.

  “So, your aunt remembered The Wise Owl?” Fiona guessed.

  “No, actually, she read about it in a book,” Amalia said. “A few years ago, my aunt got her hands on a book that explained a lot of the truth about magic and had chapters on known magical artifacts and their history. If you want to learn more about The Wise Owl, I think your best bet is finding that book.”

  “You don’t know where it is?” Sondra asked.

  Amalia’s lips tightened. “No, unfortunately. My aunt left it to me, but her kids ignored her wishes and sold it instead.”

  “You never tried to track it down?” Sondra asked.

  “Of course I did!” Amalia sounded slightly offended. “But it’s loaded with protection charms.”

  “Is there anything else you can tell us about the book?” Teagan asked.

  Amalia shook her head. “All I remember is that it was a good six inches thick with a leather binding. It had images of the sun, moon, and stars on the front cover. That’s all I can tell you.”

  Venn stirred next to me. I immediately whirled around and knelt beside him. Everyone else in the room stilled.

  “Venn, talk to me.” I stroked my fingers through his curls.

  He grunted. It sounded like he was trying to speak, but I couldn’t tell what he was saying.

  “What?” I demanded. “Venn...”

  “Genevieve,” he managed to croak out.

  Excuse me? It’s Rachel, your girlfriend.

  “No, Venn. It’s me. Rae. You’re going to be okay.” I was practically on the verge of tears just from hearing his voice.

  Venn’s eyes opened into slits. “No, the book. Genevieve.”

  Fiona drew in a sharp breath beside me. I hadn’t even realized she’d crossed the room. “Venn’s right. I remember a book like that at Genevieve’s.”

  Sondra stood beside Fiona and looked down at Venn, concern for him etched in her eyes. “I think you might be right. I didn’t pay any attention to it before, but…”

  Ryland sighed. “Well, we can kiss that big paycheck goodbye.”

  I looked at him still seated beside Amalia and Teagan across the room. “What do you mean?”

  Teagan crossed her arms and leaned back in her seat. “We have a bit of debt with Genevieve.”

  Ryland scoffed. “A bit.”

  “And she’s not going to help us without payment,” Teagan said.

  “She helped us before,” I pointed out.

  “That’s because I wasn’t there,” Sondra said. “My old mentor… isn’t fond of me.”

  My eyes nearly bulged out of my skull. I couldn’t imagine a pure-hearted witch like Sondra working with someone dark like Genevieve.

  Teagan stood from her chair. “When do we leave?”

  Sondra glanced back to Venn, who had gone still again. I pressed my palm to his forehead. He was still burning up.

  “We have to stay here overnight,” Sondra said. “Venn’s still healing.”

  “Tea and I will take the car,” Ryland suggested.

  “No,” Sondra replied almost instantly. “I want us all to stick together. We’ll get a hotel for the night and all rest up. We’ll head to Genevieve’s in the morning.”

  “You think she’ll help us?” Fiona said softly.

  Sondra hesitated. “God, I hope so.”

  6

  Venn was hotter than cement on a summer day, and I meant that in a literal sense, though his body was smoking hot as well. I lay beside him on the queen-sized bed in our hotel room. Heat radiated off his skin like a furnace. He was running a fever hotter than any human should. But Venn wasn’t exactly human.

  “Are you going to give the guy space or what?” Ryland lay on the bed beside us, leaning his back against the headboard and flipping the channels on the TV.

  “No,” I answered automatically.

  Fiona flung a pillow at Ryland while she made up the sofa bed for her and Sondra across the room. “Give her a break. It’s not like you wouldn’t be doing the same to Teagan if she’d been cursed.”

  “Whatever,” Ryland s
aid with an eye roll.

  “Don’t kid yourself, babe,” Teagan teased from beside him. “You’d be all over me.”

  Ryland shot her a glare.

  The door to our hotel room opened, and Sondra strode in carrying two pizza boxes and a bottle of citrus soda.

  Ryland sat up straight. “Seriously, Sondra? You know I’ll eat a whole pizza by myself.”

  She placed the boxes at the foot of his bed and shrugged. “I’d like to see you try.”

  A sly smile crossed Ryland’s face. “Challenge accepted.”

  Teagan slapped his arm when he pulled a whole pizza box into his lap. “You can share.”

  “Fine,” he said begrudgingly as he opened the box and offered her a piece.

  Fiona and Sondra were already digging into the other box.

  “Aren’t you hungry, Rae?” Fiona asked after taking a bite.

  I shifted uncomfortably on the bed. “No. I’m okay.”

  Sondra eyed me with concern. “When was the last time you ate?”

  Honestly, I couldn’t remember, but my stomach had twisted into enough knots that I didn’t feel hungry.

  “Please come and eat something, Rae.” Sondra spoke softly, but there was a mother-bear tone to her words that told me she would force feed me if she had to, just so I wouldn’t starve to death.

  I sighed and rose from the bed. It broke my heart to leave Venn’s side, even though I was only a few feet away from him. Fiona scooted over on the foot of the bed so I could sit beside her. I grabbed a piece of pepperoni pizza and took small bites. Even though I wasn’t hungry, I couldn’t deny that it was delicious. Everyone went silent while they ate and watched an old cartoon play across the TV.

  Everyone except Sondra. She sat in the chair in the corner and kept her eyes locked on me.

  Finally, I couldn’t take it anymore. “Do I have something on my face?”

  Sondra sat up straighter. “No. I was just trying to figure out where I know you from. I thought I recognized you when we first met, but I think I finally know where I’ve met you before.”

  I glanced to Fiona, who looked intrigued but didn’t say anything.

  “I’m pretty sure we’ve never met,” I said, though I couldn’t deny there was something familiar in her eyes, too. I figured she just had one of those faces.

  “Not in this life,” Sondra agreed.

  It took me a moment to realize what she was saying. I initially wrote it off as one of those things people say, but then it hit me that she could very well be serious.

  “You—you think you remember me? From a past life?” I asked. It seemed weird to talk about it so casually, but something about past lives just made sense.

  Sondra nodded. “And I think I know who you were.”

  My curiosity suddenly piqued. I finished my last bite of pizza and wiped my fingers across my jeans. “Who was I?”

  Sondra finished her pizza and leaned forward in her chair. “I believe you were Abigail Williams.”

  Fiona inhaled a sharp breath. Someone else—probably Ryland—hit mute on the remote.

  Abigail Williams. Where have I heard that name before?

  The memory suddenly clicked. She was one of the faces on the wall back at Venn’s house—before it’d burnt down. Sondra had drawn her face, like all the others. Venn had said she’d remembered the faces, which made complete sense now that I knew Sondra could remember bits and pieces from her past lives.

  I racked my brain, trying to remember what Venn had told me about Abigail. She was a witch, I remembered that. But which one?

  “You were still you,” Sondra explained, misinterpreting my silence. “Just a different version of yourself. It was the same soul.”

  “What do you mean?” I asked. “What’s a soul, anyway?”

  “Your soul is what makes you… you,” Sondra said. “It houses your empathy, your thoughts, and your most important memories.”

  “What does a soul look like?” I was completely intrigued. “Like a spirit?”

  “Your soul isn’t really a physical thing, more of an abstract idea, but I suppose you could visualize it as a ball of energy,” Sondra said with a shrug. “When you die, your soul continues to exist on a separate plane. A spirit is the soul of someone who is between death and reincarnation. They can roam the earth, observe, and communicate with psychics, but a soul needs a body to exist physically.”

  “What happens to a soul once their body dies?” I asked.

  “Those who have unfinished business might stick around,” Sondra said. “Others will live again in another body.”

  “How does that work?” I glanced between Fiona and Sondra. “Reincarnation, I mean.”

  Fiona was the one to answer. “Synchrony assigns souls to bodies based on whatever will bring balance.”

  “Where do souls come from?” I questioned for my own curiosity.

  “Synchrony creates new souls as new life blossoms,” Fiona explained. “But so far, no one knows how to destroy a soul. The most you can do is trap them with a spell. Only Synchrony itself can destroy souls.”

  “Actually destroy them?” I asked in shock.

  “It’s only a theory,” Sondra clarified. “Some witches believe that Synchrony’s balance tips in favor of goodness, of positive energy. So when a soul turns evil, it is destroyed to maintain that balance.”

  Sondra sounded skeptical.

  “What do you believe?” I asked.

  She took a long breath before answering. “Look around you. There’s evil everywhere. Greed, abuse, hatred… I’m not sure that story isn’t just a scare tactic…”

  Silence settled over the room before Sondra spoke again. “It doesn’t pay to worry about it. Just focus on bringing your own goodness into the world. Life is easier that way.”

  I sat there silently, absorbing all this information. It was strange how for the first time in my life, it felt like I was listening to the truth rather than just another bogus theory.

  “So, I’m Abigail?” I asked slowly, testing out the concept.

  “Mm…” Sondra mused. “It’s a little more complicated than that. You were Abigail, but now you’re Rae.”

  “But you just said my soul is the same from one life to the next,” I pointed out.

  “Yes, it’s the same soul,” Sondra agreed, “but a different person, if that makes sense.”

  It didn’t. Not really.

  “The person you are in this life is shaped by both your soul and your experiences,” Sondra explained. “Your past life experiences have some effect on you, but it doesn’t mean you’ll be the exact same person.”

  “Okay,” I said slowly. “I think I get it. So, Abigail… who was she exactly?”

  “She’s the witch who created shifters,” Fiona reminded me.

  “Right,” I said in realization. “She was married to that Charles guy, who fused his body with a wolf’s so they could track vampires.”

  “Yep,” Fiona said. “Which makes total sense, because—”

  “Because souls are drawn to each other from one life to the next,” Sondra finished for her.

  “You mean soulmates.” I smiled, amused.

  “Yes,” Sondra confirmed, “but it’s not just souls connected by romance that are drawn to each other, though that is the strongest bond. It can also happen with friends or family members, like a mother and child.”

  Everything they said made so much sense. I felt a sense of peace wash over me now that I knew the truth.

  Venn’s voice cut through the brief silence.

  I quickly hurried to his side and took his hand. “What is it, Venn?”

  “Eyes… window… soul,” he managed to force out.

  I looked to Fiona, like she might be able to translate for me.

  Venn cleared his throat. “Eyes are the windows to the soul.”

  “Eyes are the windows to the soul?” I repeated.

  Venn nodded.

  “What does he mean?” I asked Sondra.

  Sond
ra stood and crossed to the foot of the bed. “He means it quite literally. If you’re magical enough—or if you had a very strong connection with that particular person in a past life—you can recognize a person’s soul through their eyes.”

  A memory of Venn’s words flashed through my head. There’s something in her eyes…

  He’d said that to Ryland when he’d brought me home with him. He was trying to convince Ryland I could be trusted.

  And his eyes… Venn’s soft brown eyes… maybe it hadn’t been lust that drew me to him to begin with.

  “It’s true,” Venn croaked. “Sondra told me ages ago that I was Charles.”

  Shock riveted through me, though I don’t know why I was surprised. It made a lot of sense after just hearing that I was Abigail, his wife.

  “So, you were the first shifter?” I asked.

  Venn nodded.

  “Ironic that you were a wolf shifter back then and a wolf shifter now,” I thought aloud.

  “Not really,” Sondra said.

  I looked to her for explanation.

  “Shifter genes are genetic,” she explained, “but you could end up any type of shifter once that DNA is in your blood. I personally believe that you shift into whatever animal matches your personality.”

  “Huh.” I’d never thought of it that way before.

  Beside me, Venn finally peeled his eyes open. My heart swooned under his gaze.

  “You’re okay,” I said breathlessly as a smile spread across his face.

  He nodded, but it sounded like it pained him to speak. “When I met you, I saw something in your eyes, Rae. The way it felt when I first saw you... it was like we’d lived a whole life together.”

  My insides danced, and the rest of the room faded away. I understood now why I was so comfortable around him, why I didn’t mind spilling my secrets.

  “I think I know what you mean,” I whispered.

  “Ugh,” Teagan gagged. “Get a room.”

  “If you don’t like it, you can leave,” Venn teased back.

  His eyes returned to mine, then traveled down to my lips. Oh, God. He was going to kiss me now, right in front of his whole family. Not that I didn’t want him to, but the look in his eyes told me I didn’t exactly want his family to see what he had in mind.