Dorothy and the Wizard in Oz

by L. Frank Baum

  19. The Wizard Performs Another Trick

  At three o'clock the Throne Room was crowded with citizens, men, womenand children being eager to witness the great trial.

  Princess Ozma, dressed in her most splendid robes of state, sat in themagnificent emerald throne, with her jewelled sceptre in her hand andher sparkling coronet upon her fair brow. Behind her throne stood thetwenty-eight officers of her army and many officials of the royalhousehold. At her right sat the queerly assorted Jury--animals,animated dummies and people--all gravely prepared to listen to what wassaid. The kitten had been placed in a large cage just before thethrone, where she sat upon her haunches and gazed through the bars atthe crowds around her, with seeming unconcern.

  And now, at a signal from Ozma, the Woggle-Bug arose and addressed thejury. His tone was pompous and he strutted up and down in an absurdattempt to appear dignified.

  "Your Royal Highness and Fellow Citizens," he began; "the small cat yousee a prisoner before you is accused of the crime of first murderingand then eating our esteemed Ruler's fat piglet--or else first eatingand then murdering it. In either case a grave crime has been committedwhich deserves a grave punishment."

  "Do you mean my kitten must be put in a grave?" asked Dorothy.

  "Don't interrupt, little girl," said the Woggle-Bug. "When I get mythoughts arranged in good order I do not like to have anything upsetthem or throw them into confusion."

  "If your thoughts were any good they wouldn't become confused,"remarked the Scarecrow, earnestly. "My thoughts are always--"

  "Is this a trial of thoughts, or of kittens?" demanded the Woggle-Bug.

  "It's a trial of one kitten," replied the Scarecrow; "but your manneris a trial to us all."

  "Let the Public Accuser continue," called Ozma from her throne, "and Ipray you do not interrupt him."

  "The criminal who now sits before the court licking her paws," resumedthe Woggle-Bug, "has long desired to unlawfully eat the fat piglet,which was no bigger than a mouse. And finally she made a wicked planto satisfy her depraved appetite for pork. I can see her, in my mind'seye--"

  "What's that?" asked the Scarecrow.

  "I say I can see her in my mind's eye--"

  "The mind has no eye," declared the Scarecrow. "It's blind."

  "Your Highness," cried the Woggle-Bug, appealing to Ozma, "have I amind's eye, or haven't I?"

  "If you have, it is invisible," said the Princess.

  "Very true," returned the Woggle-Bug, bowing. "I say I see thecriminal, in my mind's eye, creeping stealthily into the room of ourOzma and secreting herself, when no one was looking, until the Princesshad gone away and the door was closed. Then the murderer was alonewith her helpless victim, the fat piglet, and I see her pounce upon theinnocent creature and eat it up--"

  "Are you still seeing with your mind's eye?" enquired the Scarecrow.

  "Of course; how else could I see it? And we know the thing is true,because since the time of that interview there is no piglet to be foundanywhere."

  "I suppose, if the cat had been gone, instead of the piglet, yourmind's eye would see the piglet eating the cat," suggested theScarecrow.

  "Very likely," acknowledged the Woggle-Bug. "And now, Fellow Citizensand Creatures of the Jury, I assert that so awful a crime deservesdeath, and in the case of the ferocious criminal before you--who is nowwashing her face--the death penalty should be inflicted nine times."

  There was great applause when the speaker sat down. Then the Princessspoke in a stern voice:

  "Prisoner, what have you to say for yourself? Are you guilty, or notguilty?"

  "Why, that's for you to find out," replied Eureka. "If you can proveI'm guilty, I'll be willing to die nine times, but a mind's eye is noproof, because the Woggle-Bug has no mind to see with."

  "Never mind, dear," said Dorothy.

  Then the Tin Woodman arose and said:

  "Respected Jury and dearly beloved Ozma, I pray you not to judge thisfeline prisoner unfeelingly. I do not think the innocent kitten can beguilty, and surely it is unkind to accuse a luncheon of being a murder.Eureka is the sweet pet of a lovely little girl whom we all admire, andgentleness and innocence are her chief virtues. Look at the kitten'sintelligent eyes;" (here Eureka closed her eyes sleepily) "gaze at hersmiling countenance!" (here Eureka snarled and showed her teeth) "markthe tender pose of her soft, padded little hands!" (Here Eureka baredher sharp claws and scratched at the bars of the cage.) "Would such agentle animal be guilty of eating a fellow creature? No; a thousandtimes, no!"

  "Oh, cut it short," said Eureka; "you've talked long enough."

  "I'm trying to defend you," remonstrated the Tin Woodman.

  "Then say something sensible," retorted the kitten. "Tell them itwould be foolish for me to eat the piglet, because I had sense enoughto know it would raise a row if I did. But don't try to make out I'mtoo innocent to eat a fat piglet if I could do it and not be found out.I imagine it would taste mighty good."

  "Perhaps it would, to those who eat," remarked the Tin Woodman. "Imyself, not being built to eat, have no personal experience in suchmatters. But I remember that our great poet once said:

  'To eat is sweet When hunger's seat Demands a treat Of savory meat.'"

  "Take this into consideration, friends of the Jury, and you willreadily decide that the kitten is wrongfully accused and should be setat liberty."

  When the Tin Woodman sat down no one applauded him, for his argumentshad not been very convincing and few believed that he had provedEureka's innocence. As for the Jury, the members whispered to eachother for a few minutes and then they appointed the Hungry Tiger theirspokesman. The huge beast slowly arose and said:

  "Kittens have no consciences, so they eat whatever pleases them. Thejury believes the white kitten known as Eureka is guilty of havingeaten the piglet owned by Princess Ozma, and recommends that she be putto death in punishment of the crime."

  The judgment of the jury was received with great applause, althoughDorothy was sobbing miserably at the fate of her pet. The Princess wasjust about to order Eureka's head chopped off with the Tin Woodman'saxe when that brilliant personage once more arose and addressed her.

  "Your Highness," said he, "see how easy it is for a jury to bemistaken. The kitten could not have eaten your piglet--for here it is!"

  He took off his funnel hat and from beneath it produced a tiny whitepiglet, which he held aloft that all might see it clearly.

  Ozma was delighted and exclaimed, eagerly:

  "Give me my pet, Nick Chopper!"

  And all the people cheered and clapped their hands, rejoicing that theprisoner had escaped death and been proved to be innocent.

  As the Princess held the white piglet in her arms and stroked its softhair she said: "Let Eureka out of the cage, for she is no longer aprisoner, but our good friend. Where did you find my missing pet, NickChopper?"

  "In a room of the palace," he answered.

  "Justice," remarked the Scarecrow, with a sigh, "is a dangerous thingto meddle with. If you hadn't happened to find the piglet, Eurekawould surely have been executed."

  "But justice prevailed at the last," said Ozma, "for here is my pet,and Eureka is once more free."

  "I refuse to be free," cried the kitten, in a sharp voice, "unless theWizard can do his trick with eight piglets. If he can produce butseven, then this is not the piglet that was lost, but another one."

  "Hush, Eureka!" warned the Wizard.

  "Don't be foolish," advised the Tin Woodman, "or you may be sorry forit."

  "The piglet that belonged to the Princess wore an emerald collar," saidEureka, loudly enough for all to hear.

  "So it did!" exclaimed Ozma. "This cannot be the one the Wizard gaveme."

  "Of course not; he had nine of them, altogether," declared Eureka; "andI must say it was very stingy of him not to let me eat just a few. Butnow that this foolish trial is ended, I will tell you what reallybecame of your pet piglet."

  At
this everyone in the Throne Room suddenly became quiet, and thekitten continued, in a calm, mocking tone of voice:

  "I will confess that I intended to eat the little pig for my breakfast;so I crept into the room where it was kept while the Princess wasdressing and hid myself under a chair. When Ozma went away she closedthe door and left her pet on the table. At once I jumped up and toldthe piglet not to make a fuss, for he would be inside of me in half asecond; but no one can teach one of these creatures to be reasonable.Instead of keeping still, so I could eat him comfortably, he trembledso with fear that he fell off the table into a big vase that wasstanding on the floor. The vase had a very small neck, and spread outat the top like a bowl. At first the piglet stuck in the neck of thevase and I thought I should get him, after all, but he wriggled himselfthrough and fell down into the deep bottom part--and I suppose he'sthere yet."

  All were astonished at this confession, and Ozma at once sent anofficer to her room to fetch the vase. When he returned the Princesslooked down the narrow neck of the big ornament and discovered her lostpiglet, just as Eureka had said she would.

  There was no way to get the creature out without breaking the vase, sothe Tin Woodman smashed it with his axe and set the little prisonerfree.

  Then the crowd cheered lustily and Dorothy hugged the kitten in herarms and told her how delighted she was to know that she was innocent.

  "But why didn't you tell us at first?" she asked.

  "It would have spoiled the fun," replied the kitten, yawning.

  Ozma gave the Wizard back the piglet he had so kindly allowed NickChopper to substitute for the lost one, and then she carried her owninto the apartments of the palace where she lived. And now, the trialbeing over, the good citizens of the Emerald City scattered to theirhomes, well content with the day's amusement.