Cowboy Heaven

by Cheryl L. Brooks

  I’d never seen Joe laugh like that before, and I was very happy to have witnessed it at last. Sex wasn’t the only thing I’d missed since Cody’s death.

  Fun.

  Laughter.

  Joy.

  My life had been devoid of those things in recent years. At the time, I didn’t even have my sons to joke around with. Only the occasional phone call since they’d gone back to college. I was so happy to finally have some fun with my cowboys; I never wanted it to end.

  “Go on now,” Troy urged. “Ask him. I want to see his face.”

  Neither Troy nor Joe knew anything about the kiss I’d shared with Dusty in the bunkhouse. Nor did they know that if things had gone a bit differently, I might have already known the answer to that question. The trouble was, Dusty hadn’t been in on the discussion the way the rest of us had, and he’d probably think we were nuts. I didn’t quite know how to phrase it.

  “What’s up?” Dusty asked, eyeing me expectantly.

  “I’m conducting a survey,” I began, trying to ignore the chuckles from Joe and Troy at Dusty’s choice of words. “We’re comparing, um, equipment size.”

  “Aw, now, don’t be namby-pamby about it, Angie,” Troy said. “Ask him to show you his dick.”

  Dusty gulped as though he’d swallowed his own tongue. For a second there, I thought I might have to Heimlich him to get him to start breathing again.

  “Be quiet, Troy,” I admonished. “No one else had to show me theirs. I’m conducting a survey, not making an actual comparison.”

  “It’d be more fun if you did,” Joe said under his breath. “A lot more fun.”

  “True,” I agreed. “But I think I’ll stick to the original plan. Now, Dusty, comparatively speaking, where does yours fit in the bunkhouse lineup? You know, bigger than this one, smaller than that one—that sort of thing.”

  He gaped at me for a long moment before he spoke. “I don’t know that I’ve seen all of them.”

  “That’s okay,” I said, doing my damnedest to keep a straight face. “Just tell me how you’d fit in with the ones you’ve seen. I think between the three of you, you’ve probably seen them all.”

  He shook his head, smiling. “I can’t believe this is what y’all were out here talking about. I guess that’s what I get for butting in on a private conversation.”

  “Actually, you came at about the right time,” I said. “Go ahead and tell me, then we can talk about something else.”

  Dusty took a deep breath and plunged ahead. “Bigger than Bull. Not as big as Joe. Never seen Calvin, Rufus, or Troy.”

  “Well, isn’t that nice?” I said, not bothering to hide my delight. “Everyone is bigger than Bull. I always knew there was a reason I didn’t like him.”

  “I always figured it was because he was an asshole,” Dusty remarked.

  “Yes, but there had to be something else to clinch the matter. I believe this is it. Maybe we should call him Pencil Prick instead of Bull.”

  “There’s still the question of which of the two of us is bigger,” Troy said, indicating himself and Dusty.

  “You two might want to sort that out for yourselves and get back to me later,” I said. “Unless, of course, you want me to, um, judge the contest.”

  Troy and Dusty exchanged a glance.

  “Sure, why not?” Troy said with a shrug.

  “Holy shit,” Joe exclaimed. “I can’t believe you’d agree to that. ’Specially after you got all pissed when you saw me kissing her.”

  Dusty’s eyes nearly popped out of his head. “You kissed Joe? Again? You’ve got to be kidding me.”

  “Okay, okay,” I grumbled. “So I’ve kissed all three of you. Are you going to ask me to decide who the best kisser is?”

  Troy put up a hand. “Now hold on a minute. You kissed Dusty too?”

  I was getting in deeper and deeper shit with each passing moment. Honesty truly was the best policy. “Remember that day you caught me in the bunkhouse with him? He asked me to kiss him, so I did.”

  Troy’s hand dropped so fast he might’ve been swatting flies. “Fuck.”

  “Dammit, Troy, will you make up your mind?” I snapped. “You’re willing to compare penises with him, but not kisses?”

  “It’s different when all you’re gonna do is look at our dicks,” Troy said with a scowl. “I never said I wanted you to try us all on for size.”

  “Good, because I wasn’t planning to,” I said. “Although…”

  “Oh, here we go,” Troy grumbled. “Cluster fuck time.”

  “Really?” Joe’s eyes lit up like a kid’s on Christmas morning. “Sounds like fun.”

  I rolled my eyes. “No, not really. Besides, if I did that, none of you would ever trust me again. I have to draw the line somewhere.” Not that I wouldn’t think about it.

  Probably my best fantasy ever.

  “I’m glad you feel that way,” Troy said. “Because I’m about to give up my claim.”

  Dusty pounced on that one right away. “What claim?”

  “Oh, that’s right,” I said. “You don’t know. Troy has been my secret pal ever since he got here.” I hoped Dusty understood now why I hadn’t encouraged him any more than I had. I liked Dusty a lot, and I certainly didn’t want to hurt his feelings.

  “Better not let Rufus get wind of it,” Dusty advised. “Or he’ll be in bigger trouble than I am.”

  “Speaking of trouble,” I began, “did you know he was planning to get rid of you?”

  “I figured that would be next,” Dusty admitted. “But, hell, he’d have a much better case against the other two. I mean, he actually saw you kiss Joe.”

  “So he’s talking about that already, is he?” Why am I not surprised?

  “You better believe he is,” Dusty replied. “And when it comes to getting angry, he is the weirdest man you’ve ever seen. He goes sort of blank—doesn’t scream or yell or anything, but you know something will happen eventually. He doesn’t get mad. He gets even.”

  “Joe and I have been discussing that,” I said. “I think there’s a bigger problem here than we realized. I think the best solution is to not let him single any of you out, which is why we’re all going out on Saturday night. I’ve got a little dust to blow in ol’ Rufus’s eyes.”

  And that was exactly what I promised myself I would do. I would dance and flirt with every last one of them. I’d even flirt with Pencil Prick if he decided to come along—although it would probably kill me to do it.

  “Good idea,” Joe said. “Dibs on the first dance.”

  “Guess I’d better get a dance card for you guys to fill out, huh?” I winked at him. “After all, I wouldn’t want to cause any trouble.” Chuckling, I waved a hand and started toward the house. “Well, good night, boys. See you at breakfast.”

  I’d only taken one step when Joe tapped me on the shoulder. “Aren’t you forgetting something?”

  “I don’t think so,” I replied, frowning.

  “The survey?” Troy prompted.

  “You don’t seriously want me to—”

  “Oh, yes we do,” Dusty declared. “I want to know which one of us you would choose.”

  Given the way he’d worded that last statement, I suspected Dusty of throwing down the proverbial gauntlet. Not who would win, but who I would choose…

  “Okay,” I conceded. “But let’s go someplace else. I need better light.”

  Chapter 15

  The tack room was the obvious choice of venue for a biggest dick contest. With no windows and decent lighting, it also had a door that could actually be closed and locked.

  Look but don’t touch.

  I must’ve repeated those words in my mind a hundred times during the short walk to the tack room. Troy would go ballistic if I touched Joe’s dick or Dusty’s balls, and I wasn’t sure I could actually
do any touching without adding in a bit of fondling. At least, not where Dusty was concerned.

  My heart hammered even faster than my icy hands trembled. One touch of my chilly fingers would probably make any of them deflate.

  Maybe.

  I reminded myself that I was already familiar with everything Troy had to offer, and he was no slouch in any department.

  Especially that fabulous ass…

  “Okay, guys. Line up over here,” I said, indicating an open space beneath the bare overhead lightbulb.

  Not knowing which of them had the larger tool, Troy and Dusty eyed each other with doubt. Joe, on the other hand, obviously knew that for once, he had the other guys beat all to hell and back, and his smug smile proved it.

  “Let’s start with bulges.” Strolling along the lineup, I noted that while Troy and Dusty each had a nice-sized lump behind their zippers, Joe seemed to have very little. Frowning, I studied them closely. “Hmm… I think I’ll have to give this one to Troy—better definition and a slightly larger wet spot.”

  That wasn’t too surprising. I already knew he could pump out the juice—one of his more endearing traits, in my opinion.

  Troy aimed a smirk at his competitors. “That’s one point for me.”

  “Should I be writing this down?” I asked.

  Dusty chuckled. “Don’t worry. We’ll remember.”

  Clearing my throat, I rubbed my hands together, hoping to warm them up a bit. Unfortunately, it probably appeared as though I was getting ready to grab something.

  Look but don’t touch.

  I dropped my hands to my sides. “Now then. Let’s unbuckle the belts and undo the zippers. I think you should do it one at a time so I can get the full effect. Extra points for attitude. Dusty, why don’t you start us off?”

  How I kept from laughing myself silly as the guys each gave their own impression of a male stripper was beyond me. Then again, maybe I was too damned turned on to giggle.

  I was practically drooling as Dusty leaned back slightly and gave it his all. The deliberate unbuckling of his belt. The dramatic flip of the button. The painfully slow lowering of the zipper. The quick push that dropped his jeans to his knees. Hell, even his cast, which hit him at mid-thigh, was sexy.

  “Nice,” I managed to say. “Next?”

  Troy began his routine by grinding his hips to some slightly off-key sound effects.

  “You really can’t carry a tune in a bucket, can you?” I observed.

  “Maybe not, but I do have a nice, juicy dick.”

  I certainly couldn’t argue with that assessment. “True. Some deficiencies can be forgiven in light of other assets.”

  Troy’s moves were more spectacular than Dusty’s—lots of suggestive gyrations followed by a pelvic thrust I could almost feel—although no less stimulating.

  I nodded my approval. “Good job. Joe?”

  With no fanfare whatsoever, Joe dropped his pants.

  My jaw went with them.

  I realized then why there had been no bulge. His cock hadn’t been attempting to escape through his fly. Rather, it formed a thick, straight ridge from his crotch to his navel. The head peeked out from beneath the waistband of his briefs.

  Actually, peeked is the wrong word because at least two inches of that humongous dick were clearly visible. Upon closer inspection, I noted that it actually extended beyond his navel.

  “Holy shit.” I’d seen bigger tools on a stallion, but I couldn’t imagine how any human male could have outdone him and still be able to walk.

  “Scary, isn’t it?” Troy whispered.

  Pressing my fingers to my lips, I bent down for a closer inspection. “Damn.” I drew away slightly. “Lose the undies.”

  Freed of restraint, Joe’s penis fell forward like the door on a dishwasher, bouncing a few times before coming to rest in a perfectly perpendicular position. I was glad I’d taken a step back; otherwise, it would’ve clubbed me in the nose. I stared at it, blinking my eyes, convinced I couldn’t possibly be seeing it correctly.

  “Don’t bother, Angie,” Troy said. “Your eyes aren’t playing tricks on you. It really is that big.”

  “Jesus,” I said with a breathy exhale. “I had no idea…”

  “Deceptive, isn’t it?” Dusty pushed his own briefs down, revealing a respectable and very nicely shaped seven or eight inches.

  Troy followed suit, revealing a stiff member almost exactly the same length as Dusty’s. “See? Not even close.”

  Three cocks. Three lickable, suckable, fuckable cocks.

  They were even drooling. Unfortunately, I couldn’t touch any of them, much less fuck them. At least not at the moment. I might get a taste of Troy later on, although to be perfectly honest, I couldn’t imagine actually fucking Joe. Tab A was clearly too big for Slot B.

  Grabbing a nearby stool, I sat down with a thud and drew in a ragged breath. “Okay. No contest there. Let’s see some balls.”

  On cue, all three men lifted their dicks and thrust their hips forward. Joe’s scrotum hung low and full with testicles that nearly matched his penis in size. Giving my head a quick shake, I moved down the row to Troy. I knew from experience he had some nice nuts on him, but when my gaze slid to Dusty, my mouth went dry.

  “Perfect.” Perfect size for sucking, perfect oval shape, and nicely covered with golden curls. “The clear winner.”

  “Now for the best ass,” Troy said with a smirk.

  Shuffling their feet, the men turned around in unison. Joe had a nice pair of buns, even if they were kinda skinny. Dusty’s were firm and adorably furry. Troy’s ass, on the other hand, was world-class: hollow-flanked, well-rounded, and clearly defined with a pair of dimples at the top of the crack.

  “No contest.”

  Chuckling, Troy aimed a wink over his shoulder. “And we all know what Angie likes.”

  * * *

  Later that night, I got my hands on that fabulous ass—but not before spending an inordinate amount of time mulling over the day’s events.

  After everything that had happened earlier in the evening, I didn’t expect Troy to put in an appearance at all—and not only because he might still be miffed with me for kissing Joe. Rufus was bound to have been extra vigilant—unless he only thought he needed to keep a closer watch on Joe and Dusty. As new as Troy was to the ranch, I doubted Rufus would’ve suspected him of sneaking into my room, especially since he’d apparently swallowed Troy’s tall tale about needing to go for strolls in the middle of the night. Although I might have been a lonely widow, I’d never been what anyone would call promiscuous. Therefore, welcoming a virtual stranger into my bed wasn’t typical behavior for me. Rufus had no reason to suspect I was anything more to Troy than his new employer.

  Still, the fact that Rufus had anything to do with who I welcomed into my bed had me royally pissed. Damn that man! I could’ve been…

  What?

  Having an affair with Dusty?

  No. Probably not.

  Well, maybe. But would I have considered it before Troy came along? Would I even have had the guts to say anything to him? Or was the catalyst theory correct?

  Dusty had said he loved me. He’d seemed sincere, although I still wasn’t sure I believed it. Then again, how often did a man come right out and say those words? As tough as it was to say them when they were true, I couldn’t imagine why he would lie.

  He wouldn’t. Not unless he was the troublemaker Rufus had accused him of being—and I didn’t believe that for a second. I still thought Dusty needed more options. I couldn’t shake the idea that he would be settling for me if we ever got together, and I couldn’t figure out why he would do that. Joe was right about him being different. Dusty had a lot to recommend him, not the least of which being his sense of humor.

  On any given day, his comments had me laughing my ass off, and he’
d been chuckling along with the rest of the guys during the contest. With all that giggling going on, I was surprised any of them could keep an erection. However, none of them appeared to have any trouble whatsoever in that respect. I still couldn’t quite wrap my head around that. Three men with cocks as rock-hard and ready to go as I would ever see in my life, and I hadn’t even touched them.

  But what if I had? Would The Great Tack Room Gangbang have gone down in Circle Bar K history? Would I have feasted on a banquet of cock and balls and ass before getting the fucking of my life? There were enough dicks to fill every place I had to put one. That the contest had remained amusing rather than escalating to an all-out ménage said a lot for my guys. It demonstrated their respect for me, but more than anything, their hands-off behavior proved none of them were willing to share. They had been interested to see which one I would pick, not whether I was willing to fuck all of them at once.

  In the wake of two very dry years, the fact that I had a choice at all was unbelievable. The trouble was, any one of them could’ve made me happy. The necessity of excluding the other two was what made it so hard. In a different place and time, I could see myself loving each of them, which might have been why I’d kept my options open by giving everyone their own honorary title.

  There were definite differences between them. Joe was a nice guy, but to be honest, even after giving birth to two children, I doubted he would fit. There was, after all, such a thing as too big. From a purely sexual compatibility standpoint, Troy was the only proven entity, although I had no doubts Dusty could give him a run for his money—with or without a cast on his leg.

  Then there was the fidelity issue. I had Dusty and Joe pegged as one-woman men, whereas Troy struck me as being more of a player, whether he thought I was too easy or not. That trait alone would rule him out. I had no desire to give my heart to him only to have it tossed aside.

  Age was also a factor. Joe was closest in age to me, and Dusty and Troy were only a year apart. They were both too young. Rufus was too old—and I was going absolutely nuts thinking about it.

  Then again, perhaps my own options were as limited as Dusty’s. I could’ve gone honky-tonkin’ with Jenny anytime I wanted and found someone completely new.