Finding You

by Jo Watson

  Mild panic gripped me. I know how ridiculous it seemed, but I didn’t cook and now I was under a time constraint…

  “Quickly.” Someone rushed past me with the biggest tray of meat I’d ever seen and gave me a pat on the back. Shit! Okay. I started to scoop handfuls into the blender and then I just… fucked up so completely and royally that this family would probably talk about the incident for years to come.

  Yes, you guessed it. I forgot to put the lid on the blender and it all flew out. Thankfully, I was the only one in the line of fire. But oh how it fired. Within seconds I was covered in oil, whole chickpeas clung to my hair, and gooey paste covered my dress. I wiped some stuff off my face, only to almost blind myself in painful agony as I smeared lemon juice into my eyes.

  The commotion that had been constant in the kitchen since I’d walked in stopped. A deathly silence fell on the room, and everyone stared at me. There was a universal pause, a collective inhale followed by a sigh and then, chaos.

  People ushered me away from the machine. Others gathered more ingredients to remake the hummus, and someone rushed me off to a bathroom and closed the door behind me. I turned toward the mirror, absolutely terrified of what I might see. And I was right to be terrified. I was covered. My attempt at hummus clung to my cheeks and hair, and worst of all, my dress looked like a Jackson Pollock. I shook my head in absolute despair. A knock on the door made me turn.

  “Jane?” It was Dimitri. “I heard what happened.” He was laughing. He was laughing. The bastard!

  “It’s not funny, okay?” I hissed back through the door.

  “Can I come in?”

  “Sure. Why not.” I opened the door quickly, pulled him inside, and closed it again. The fewer people who saw me, the better. He took one look at me and his eyes widened, and then he started laughing again.

  “Stop it.” I smacked him on the arm.

  “You’re right. Sorry.” I could see he was attempting to wipe the smile off his face, but it wasn’t going anywhere.

  “What the hell am I going to do? I can’t go out like this.”

  Dimitri looked me up and down like he was formulating a plan of action. He walked over to the sink, wet a washcloth, and started wiping my face. And although he was essentially wiping gooey food off me, it felt wildly erotic, and hot and heavenly and… especially when he ran the cloth over my lips.

  I don’t actually recall there being anything there at all.

  He washed the cloth out and then started cleaning my hair. I stared at his face: He was cleaning me off with such focus and concentration, it was as if he was performing the most important job in the world.

  “Thanks,” I said when it was all over.

  “Pleasure.”

  Then we stood and stared at each other again. Both our faces broke out into massive grins and I forgot I was in a bathroom, because it felt like I was floating on a cloud, rather than having my feet on the ground.

  “You still look amazing, though,” he said before his eyes trailed down to my dress. “But I’m not sure what we’re going to do about that?”

  I looked down at my dress. The front was completely covered in a crisscross, splotchy pattern of creamy goo. Dimitri reached for some toilet paper and started scooping the thick clumps off. “I don’t want to wet it. That would be uncomfortable.” He wiped the dress until the worst of it was off, leaving behind giant cream-colored smudges.

  “I can’t let people see me like this.” I said.

  “I think you’re going to have to turn it inside out then,” he said, as if he had weighed every option and concluded that this was the only solution. I studied my dress in the mirror, and he was right: It was the only thing to do under the circumstances.

  “Okay.” I turned back to him and nodded, expecting him to leave the bathroom. He didn’t. “So, you can go now. Thanks.” I looked at the door and back to him, but he simply stepped forward with a smile and a look in his eye that was making me feel very hot under my nonexistent collar. It was the kind of look that made my toes curl and my fingertips tingle.

  He reached out and took the hem of my dress between his fingers. He smiled and slowly started lifting it, his fingers trailing up my thighs as he went. My skin responded with a million goose bumps and a shiver that traveled all the way from my thighs to the top of my head. Even my scalp tingled. He lifted the dress farther and farther until I felt the cool air rushing between my legs. His eyes traveled straight down there, and I felt completely naked under his gaze.

  “Have I told you yet that you wear the most amazing underwear?”

  “Really?” I said excitedly. Finally someone, other than my fish, was actually seeing them. I suddenly felt justified in all that money I’d spent over the years on the sexy lacy things. Dimitri tugged the dress up until my stomach was exposed. His hands moved to my waist, and he squeezed. I threw my head back and closed my eyes. He brought his lips down to my neck as his hands traveled higher up my stomach. A knock on the door stopped us dead in our tracks once more.

  “My family’s timing is terrible,” he moaned into my neck before letting me go and sticking his head through the door. I took the opportunity to quickly whip my dress off and turn it inside out myself.

  When he turned back around I was patting my dress into place. He shook his head. “And we were just getting to the good part.” He smiled at me and took me by the hand “Come. Everyone is waiting for us.”

  And they were: The entire table was full. I was just about to sit down when the older woman who had been spitting on me earlier jumped up and started shouting. She gestured at my dress and then kissed me on both cheeks. Everyone was smiling, and some even started clapping. The whole room erupted and I had no idea why.

  “What’s going on?” I asked him.

  Now Dimitri was blushing, too, and I couldn’t quite believe my eyes. I’d never seen him look so coy and flushed. “We have a superstition here that if you wear your clothes inside out, you’re going to be getting married soon. I’d forgotten about that.” He quickly averted his eyes from me and sat.

  “Oh. I see.” For some reason, wild butterflies started flapping through my stomach. My brain then quickly skidded off to a very bad place as I imagined what Dimitri would look like standing at the head of the aisle.

  Stop! the sensible part of my brain mentally screeched to that other part. I shot Dimitri a quick glance and that stupid, giddy smile seemed to be mirrored back to me.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE

  It was as if I had never eaten food in my entire life. As if my taste buds had never experienced a single sensation. They had been dead for all these years, and now they were alive. I’d started reluctantly, under the threat that it was totally impolite, downright rude, and wildly offensive not to eat the food you were served. This was the greatest insult one could make to a woman, apparently.

  Dimitri had cast me a sideways glance as if to say “you have to,” followed by a kind of supportive smile as I picked the first thing up. Spana-something. I didn’t even know what it was. It lurked somewhere between a quiche and a pie, I had no idea, but I could feel everyone looking at me expectantly. So I raised the thing to my mouth tentatively. I assumed I was going to have to chew and swallow with great difficulty, and then plaster a fake smile across my face and exclaim how delicious it was, even though I felt nauseous.

  But it wasn’t like that. At all. The second it touched my lips, the second I started chewing, it was the most amazing thing I had ever tasted in my entire life… and I was famished. Starving. I plowed my way through a plate, and then without my asking, another one was put in front of me and it felt as if everyone was watching me with glee and egging me on. Then the wine and even more food flowed and I felt quite swept up in it all. My taste buds were basically screaming for more and more and more…

  I was so caught up in this feeding frenzy that I only looked up when I heard a ting.

  Dimitri was standing up tapping a glass with his spoon. He turned his attention to his si
ster, the birthday girl who I’d hardly had a chance to speak to yet. Everyone had put their knives and forks down and looked at him. I tried to chew and swallow my mouthful of food as quickly as possible.

  “Anthea,” Dimitri said, beaming at his gorgeous green-eyed sister. “I just wanted to say happy, happy birthday and even though you steal my shirts and wear them to college and get paint all over them and ruin them, I still love you.” Everyone clapped again and someone even made a whistling sound.

  “And she also stole your cologne and gave it to her boyfriend for his birthday,” one of his other sisters yelled out, which caused more laugher.

  “Hey, I’m a poor student,” Anthea retorted. “And you get given so many.”

  “It must have smelled bad, since he broke up with you a week later,” another sister yelled across the table. This was nothing like my family dinners. I was surrounded by laughter, fun, a sense of love, and something I wasn’t sure I’d ever felt before… family. In the real sense of the word. Inclusive and nonjudgmental. Everyone looked like they had a place here and fit in. I wanted that. But it also made me more aware of the fact I had no idea where I really belonged.

  “I looked everywhere for that thing.” Dimitri laughed and shook his head. “Anthea, we all love you just the way you are, even if you are a kleptomaniac.” He raised his glass in the air, and a lump started forming in my throat as I felt the tears welling up inside me again. Please no, please no! I screamed inside, hoping that it would keep them at bay.

  Dimitri continued, “But seriously, you are such a talented artist and we are all so, so proud of you and I know that if Dad was here, he would be very happy with the beautiful young woman sitting in front of us today.”

  I burst out crying! That was me. Gone. The tears and loud wails just flew out and the whole table looked at me. “I’m so sorry,” I whimpered, my chest rising and falling quickly as I tried to get air into my lungs. “It’s just… that was so sweet and they all love you so much and he doesn’t mind if you steal his things and they love you just the way you aaaarrrreeeee…” I wailed the last word and then pushed the plate out of my way and slumped onto the table. It was so embarrassing and dramatic, but I just couldn’t stop it. It felt like a million hands started rubbing my back all at once, and I heard people telling me it was all going to be okay. The old lady who’d been spitting on me earlier and was now probably secretly planning my wedding had stuck her head right up to mine and was making soothing shushing noises in my ear. She was talking in Greek and kissing the top of my head, which just made me cry even more.

  And when I didn’t stop, she pulled my hand toward her forcefully and I felt something being tied around my wrist. I lifted my head and looked down at my arm, where a big blue eye stared up at me from a bracelet around my wrist.

  “It’s a Mati bracelet. She wants you to have it. Every Greek should have one,” Dimitri said, sitting next to me and slipping an arm around me. The old woman promptly smiled, kissed me again, spat on me some more, and then got up and walked away.

  “It’s a symbol of good luck here. The eye protects you, but it has to be given to you by someone else,” he said, rubbing my arm as the tears started to finally dry up. I looked up and everyone was still looking at me.

  “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to ruin your birthday speech.”

  “Don’t worry.” Dimitri nudged me. “Now you’re officially Greek, Jane!”

  We finally stumbled out of the party at around two o’clock that morning. After my crying was over I’d managed to eat another plate of food and consume far too many of those tasty licorice-flavored drinks.

  We drove back to Dimitri’s house and I didn’t feel like going inside. I didn’t want this day to end. I’d had more fun than I’d had in ages, and I was scared that if I closed my eyes and opened them in the morning, it would all be over. I was worried that all the realizations I’d had today about my life would disappear as I slept. They’d be out of my reach once more, and I wanted to hold onto them this time.

  “Can we go for a walk?” I asked. I just wanted to enjoy this strange warm feeling that was buzzing in my veins.

  “I was hoping you’d say that.” Dimitri walked around the car and opened the door for me. He hooked his arm through mine and we started walking through the narrow streets of his town. Fira was still very much alive at this hour; many of the shops were still open, and the whole place was buzzing. People operated on different clocks here.

  We walked in silence for a while along the small and winding streets. “So what can you tell me about this place?” I asked.

  “Well.” He nudged me with his body as we walked. “Did you know that Santorini is unique in the world? It is the only caldera that is inhabited. So we are all living on a volcanic cauldron,” he said with a smile in his voice.

  “Why? Why would any sane human live on a volcano that could blow at any given moment?” I looked over at Dimitri.

  He shrugged. “Like I said, we live for today.”

  “Oh please.” I laughed. “You say that now, but wait until it explodes.”

  Dimitri laughed. “At least we would have gotten to live in the most beautiful place in the world. Eaten the best food and drunk the finest wine. Laughed and loved with friends and family and…” The laughter in his voice was gone now. “… and at least I got to meet you.”

  His words made me giddy and my heart started to shudder. I liked him. Oh God, I liked him.

  “Kiss me.” The words just came out of my mouth before I knew what I was saying.

  Dimitri smiled and started to lean in and then stopped. “Wait. Not here, we’re in the street.” He took me by the hand and started rushing me along. When we came to the end of the street, he turned and led me up a small alley. It was very narrow and filled with low arches; we had to duck down just to get through them.

  We finally arrived at the end. It was mainly dark, except for the soft light of the faraway buildings. The stones were rough and looked old, as if the alley had been built hundreds of years ago. We were both panting from the running and it took a while for us to catch our breath again. I looked around. This place felt like the most secret, remote place on the planet. We were totally alone, and there was no sign of life.

  Dimitri walked me backward until my back pressed into the wall and his body pressed into mine. I stared up into his eyes.

  “You’re so beautiful, Jane.” He took my hands, interlaced his fingers into mine, raised them both over my head, and pressed them into the wall. Hard. He pressed his body into mine even more. Then he released my hands and let his fingertips run all the way down my arms. Small jagged breaths escaped my mouth as his lips came down to meet mine and his fingers finished their trail down my arms.

  “Did you know…” he whispered against my lips. “That when archaeologists excavated this island…” He stopped talking and went in for another kiss. “They found human remains from the late Neolithic period right in this very wall.”

  “Huh?” I pulled away and looked at him curiously. He flashed me a smile.

  “Just trying to make this scientific for you, that’s all.” He went in and kissed me again and I chuckled against his mouth. I parted my lips ever so slightly. He kissed my bottom lip, sucking on it gently at first, and then a little harder before he let it go. This kiss hadn’t even started properly, and yet it was the hottest one I had ever experienced. He took my face between his hands and pulled me toward him. His mouth opened, and I opened mine to meet him. He slipped his tongue deep into my mouth and it was warm and wet and tasted of licorice and honey and something that was unique to him. I ran my tongue over his and a thousand, million tiny needles felt like they pricked me all the way up my spine. His scent was also unique, and if I could have bottled it and kept it I would have.

  I felt overwhelmed and intoxicated from all the tastes and smells and sensations running through me. I let go. I moved my arms and wrapped them around the back of his head and pulled him in closer. Our mouths opened even m
ore and the kiss deepened and it was fast and messy and there was nothing controlled about it. I could lose myself in this moment.

  Dimitri moaned in my mouth as his hands left my face and trailed down my neck.

  “Jane…” His voice came out breathily in between the deep kisses. “You’re amazing.” He went down to my shoulders and I felt the strap of my dress starting to slip down.

  “Wait. What are you doing?” I pulled my strap back up and looked around the alley.

  He stopped, raised his head, and looked me straight in the eyes. “It’s just the two of us.” A slow, small smile broke out across his face as his fingers again moved to my dress straps and he started to pull them off my shoulders. And then I felt him loop a finger around one of my bra straps and start slipping that down.

  This was by far the kinkiest thing I had ever done in my life. I gasped when I felt the cool breeze on my body as my bra came down and my breast was totally exposed. “I never do stuff like this,” I whispered as his lips started trailing down from my collarbone.

  “I know. You say that a lot.” His lips moved down even farther and he planted kisses across my chest. I gasped as his warm lips grazed my nipple. A moan involuntarily escaped my mouth as his tongue came out and he took me in his mouth.

  I squirmed under his touch and ran my hands through his hair and the back of his head and pulled him in even closer. I grabbed his shoulders, digging my nails into him, and held on to him tightly as he lowered his head and licked the space between my breasts.

  “Dimitri.” I heard myself say his name as he squeezed my nipples between his fingers and ran his thumb over them. And then… he stopped, abruptly. He kissed me all the way up from my breasts to my neck and then chin and then planted one last kiss on my lips and locked eyes with me. I was gasping for breath, and my body was still wriggling under him.

  “I’m about to reach that stage of no return, Jane. So tell me to stop or…”