Hush (Pandora's Box Book 2)

by Liza James

  Her gaze narrows and her brows pinch together in confusion. I understand, because I'm confused by my own actions as well.

  I don't care. I remind myself silently. Not for Lyp. Not anymore.

  In that moment, I can feel Lyp's heated breath against my shoulder. I'm quickly aware of her body being tightly pressed against my own, the warmth of her thigh under my palm. My heart picks up, and Lyp's hand subtly shifts against my own over her leg.

  I don't know what this is—if it was intentional, or if it's some kind of show of support. Connection.

  Energy.

  I don't fucking know.

  But as soon as Ruby relents and takes a step back, I move away from Lyp and quickly turn to face her. Her eyes are a shade darker, her hands hanging by her side while her chest shifts rapidly with each breath.

  Without a word, I pull her out of the kitchen and down my hallway, shoving us into the bathroom when I shut the door at our backs.

  Lyp moves to lean against the counter, that uncertain demeanor now back as she lifts her fingers to her lips and chews. I lean against the door for a moment, shutting my eyes while I try to make sense of everything unraveling in my mind and my body.

  Everything is changing. I can feel it. I don't know how to control it.

  "Are you angry?" she asks quietly, and I slowly open my eyes to meet hers.

  She's small. For some reason, right now. She's small. This isn't like her though, Lyp has always been bigger, grander than everything else.

  She's uncontainable.

  "Am I angry," I repeat the words slowly and an irritated smile pulls at my lips. "Yeah, I'm fucking angry. For a lot of reasons." I stand and stalk toward her, stepping in front of her frame and letting my hands rest on the counter at either side of her hips. "But not about your sister, Lyp. I could never be angry with that."

  She doesn't reply at first, and her eyes fall to watch my lips as I hover over her. We're both breathing rapidly, and part of me wants to reach out and feel how quickly her pulse must be beating.

  I give in slightly and lean forward. Because that tether inside of me is begging to be nearer, no matter how fucking hard I try to fight this.

  I'm always drawn closer.

  Tears suddenly brim her lashes, and a few single trails fall down her cheek as I watch. I lift my hand, my thumb brushing along her skin as it hits my own. My touch falls, absently tracing the line of her lower lip as I shift a single step closer to her.

  My chest brushes against hers, the air turning hot and thick around us. Lyp breaths out against my touch and I can't even deny how good she feels against me. How much I've missed this, needed this over all of these years.

  "K," she quietly breathes, her hand lifting and wrapping around my wrist as if she's going to pull me away. But she doesn't.

  "Shh," I reply, just as she drags my touch back a bit. I'm trailing my fingers along her jaw while her head tilts to the side.

  She's on fire—her skin, her energy, her breath.

  I'm aching to weave my fingers through her hair, grip her and pull her against me like she's done to me far too many times now. I want to taste her—everywhere. And even though I'm livid over how she punished me earlier, part of me wants her to do it again.

  Just so I can feel her.

  So, I do it. I slip my touch through the strands of her hair and wrap them tightly around my fingers. She groans out in that instant, the quietest whimper between us as I lean even closer and brush my lips over hers.

  "Hey!" Loud and obnoxious knocking quickly sounds against the door and I pull back at the same time Lyp pushes me away from her. "Aura told me I was being a dick. I'm sorry, okay? Just come out and we can sort through all of this shit. I promise I'll be good." Her tone is irritated, but genuine, and I glance toward Lyp to find her eyes glued to the door.

  "We can do this," I tell her, forcing us away from whatever was happening a second ago. It's best that was interrupted anyway, we already know where this is headed, and it'll never be anywhere good.

  Her eyes meet mine in something sad and disappointing, but I force that innate pull in my energy away and step toward the door. I look back over my shoulder and watch as she clearly surrenders to this and comes up behind me, following me out and back to the living room where both Ruby and Aura quietly wait on the couch.

  They're nestled tightly together, and my mind vaguely wanders to the illusion of Lyp holding on to me like Aura is Ruby.

  It's not much of an illusion though, because that simple act was our reality for a very brief moment in time.

  Before I took everything.

  Lyp awkwardly stands at my side, her hands fidgeting together while they settle their gazes on her. I clear my throat, taking the heat and trying to explain what's happening as best I know. If I open up, maybe Lyp will feel comfortable explaining what she's been dealing with as well.

  "All right. We know Dom is back and he's staying at your apartment, right?" I caution, looking to meet Lyp's eyes as she silently nods her head in agreement. "And you've agreed to be a part of The Nation. Why?"

  "Because I have no escape, K." This time, her voice takes a bitter turn. Clear frustration and disappointment flash over her expression. "My sister was sacrificed when she was so young." Her voice cuts off, her shoulders trembling as we breach this subject.

  My own skin pulls tight, apprehension and concern growing in my stomach before I can contain it. Tears begin spilling down her cheeks and her hands begin shaking once again. "My family, myself—I was allowed free because of what my sister gave up and what my parents agreed to. But now, things have changed since The Nation was disbanded and Dom is being forced to rebuild."

  "Wait, your sister. She was a sacrifice during one of the Induction Ceremonies?” Aura's voice suddenly breaks through, quieter than it's been as her eyebrows pull together in confusion.

  At first, she doesn’t respond. Her eyes are ablaze with something I can hardly recognize–immense pain, uncertainty, maybe even fear? "Yes," Lyp finally replies, glancing down to the floor and refusing to meet anyone's gaze again. "I don't know how or what happened during the ceremony. Only that it happened when I was thirteen."

  Aura looks down, shutting her eyes and muttering something as if she's trying to understand. "You were thirteen when she was sacrificed. How old are you now?"

  "Twenty-Two," she responds, finally glancing up to look at Ruby and Aura. Ruby stills, her frame sitting silently next to Aura while her hand gently squeezes Aura’s thigh. Something's going on here, and I can't quite understand what's happening. But Lyp shifts the conversation when she continues speaking. "Dom is staying at my place.” Her words stutter as she tries to work through this. “He–he killed Trevor the evening he showed up. He forces cleansing sessions every single night. And with my sister's sacrifice? I don't have a choice. If I don’t do this, if I don’t stay in her place, her sacrifice would have been for nothing.” Her hand lifts to her quivering lips, her other arm wraps tightly around her waist as if she’s trying to ground herself. “I have to be there, and now he's giving me drugs—" Her voice cracks over tears and choked syllables.

  Fucking Christ, I can't even believe it's this bad.

  Aura moves to stand and come closer, reaching forward and tugging Lyp against her chest. Instantly, a spark of jealousy hits my heart and I tamp it down.

  I should be the one taking care of her.

  But I can't be, and Aura connects with her in ways I never could.

  "Shit," Ruby sighs from the couch, leaning back and scrubbing a hand over her face while we all try to make sense of this.

  "I don't have a choice, okay? I have to be there. For my sister, for what she gave up. I have to take her place." Aura holds Lyp while she cries against her frame. My blood boils at the thought of what she's been going through every fucking night. Every moment she's been tortured and assaulted by Dom, the thought of her watching someone else be killed right in front of her—holy fuck. I can't even comprehend all of this.

&nbs
p; I stumble back and against the wall, my head hits the surface with a thud as I shut my eyes and try to make sense of what's she’s sharing. Lifting my hands, I cover my face, angry and vengeful thoughts filling my mind in how the fuck I can fix this.

  "I know this is fucked up," Ruby's voice suddenly speaks in front of me. My eyes snap open and I meet her gaze only inches away from my own. "It's unbelievable how fucked this all is. But you're going to have to get your shit together for Lyp."

  I scoff, easily slipping back into that place where I can shove off the weight of Lyp and what this all means. "This has nothing to do with me," I say, but the words feel shallow and vacant on my tongue.

  I know I'm lying.

  "Look me in the eyes right now and tell me she means nothing to you," Ruby whispers, leaning even closer so it's only her and I in this conversation.

  "You know me too well to assume anyone means anything to me," I reply arrogantly. God, it's disgustingly easy hiding behind this.

  "That's not what I told you to say," she replies, a confident smile on her lips when I realize she fucking has me here.

  I shove her away from me and she steps back, keeping her eyes locked on mine in an intense gaze before finally turning toward her girlfriend and Lyp.

  "We'll figure this out in the morning, okay? Calypso, you need to sleep this off. Breathe a bit before we tackle it." Ruby says as Lyp pulls out of Aura's hold but keeps her hands around her waist.

  "Bottom line is that we'll find a way to get you out of this. You aren't stuck, you aren't chained to him—you'll find your freedom. I promise, Calypso." Aura's words are kind and soft as a compassionate smile crosses her face. Her eyes are glued to Lyp's, and I swear as I watch them I can practically feel their connection to each other. In their similar forms of darkness and past experiences.

  It's entirely different than what Ruby and Aura have. It's different than what Lyp and I have—I know that. This is innocent in the tangle of their trauma. Their pain mirrors each other's in similar nightmares.

  I breathe out a heavy exhale and step forward, wrapping my fingers around the nape of Lyp's neck as I gently pull her back. "Come on, you can sleep in my room."

  K steps behind me and ushers me away from the girls, leading me down the narrow hallway and toward the last door on the left.

  I take it as hers and twist the knob, stepping inside as K flips on the light and shuts the door behind us.

  "I'll sleep on the couch tonight, you can crash in here," she casually says as she walks toward her bed and starts gathering a couple of her pillows.

  My eyes scan across the room, taking in the decor, the colors, the mirrors.

  Mirrors. Fucking everywhere. Literally spanning the walls and across her ceilings. Black sheets, black blankets, black everything else.

  I raise my hand and point around the room, "You have a thing with watching yourself?" My tone is light, bordering humorous, honestly.

  I like this.

  And after everything I just revealed out there, I wouldn't mind getting lost in something light for a few minutes. I'm drowning in the weight of my reality at the moment.

  "You could say that," she replies, her voice taking an almost seductive turn that catches me off guard. My eyes fall to hers, and my mind fills with visions of what it would be like to fuck in here.

  "Shit," I mutter, just as K steps past me and back to the door.

  "Go to sleep, we'll make a plan in the morning." She opens her door and steps through it. "After I get some fucking coffee." Shutting the door behind her, I'm finally left by myself in a space I never anticipated being in.

  K's room. Her home.

  Alone.

  The last twenty-four hours flood my mind again, drowning me in memories of pain and lust and need.

  While I watched Dom take K at the club. The immediate fear and panic that swelled inside of me when I thought about losing her.

  Punishing her at the club. The anger. Frustration. The fact she denied feeling anything. Again—well, until the very end.

  The fucking sexual release I'm craving on my own, but I'm so wildly exhausted and hurt over everything else I can't even focus on that now.

  And yet, every time I see her, every moment she steps closer to me, every heated glance and subtle touch…

  I fucking need it—hell, I need her.

  I sit down on the edge of her bed, running my hands through my hair and over my face while I force steady breaths.

  I can do this. I can get through this. Somehow, right?

  I want to say I believe Aura when she says she can get me away from Dom. But the more I think about it, the more the vine of fear slowly weaves itself back in place within me. I'm terrified of what he could do if I don't go home. What if he has my parents, what if he figures out a way to find me?

  Find me. If he finds me, he finds K.

  Shit, shit, shit. He'd know where she lives, and I already understand he wants her gone after everything happened tonight. I couldn't save my sister all those years ago, but I can control what happens to those I care for now.

  My chest constricts, my mind checks out on that single thought alone. Images flash through my mind. Ones of him with his arms around her, holding her back while he dragged her away from me.

  Hypothetical scenarios of what he'd do to her spring up as well. And in that instant, everything solidifies in my heart and blood. All of a sudden, every choice is stripped from me, easily and willingly.

  I could never let that happen.

  So, it's settled. I have to go home, tonight. After everyone falls asleep, I can sneak out and call him to pick me up.

  I resign myself to the fact of this happening, and honestly, it's easier when I truly accept the notion that there isn't any other option. If I want to keep her safe, I have to go back. Simple. Maybe the girls will figure out a way to end things with Dom and The Nation for good, I can only hope they do. And then maybe, maybe I can be free once again.

  If it actually works out, if I find my freedom, I'm going after my music. No more making ends meet at the club unless I want to be there. I'm sick and exhausted of doing what I think I should, or what I have to, instead of running after my own dreams.

  God, I should have done this so long ago. But I've sat in my own misery, created by getting lost in the ideas others had for me, the barriers others put around me, and for what? Because it was the easiest route to take? Because I got the validation on stage I wanted in other places?

  A sad laugh leaves my mouth as I fall back on the bed and stare up at myself through the mirror.

  This isn't me.

  This was never me. I've been so lost and while I'm not sure how exactly to find my way back, I know the safety of K and those around me mean the most. If I remove myself entirely, I won't cause them the same pain I've been going through on my own.

  Then I can work on finding value in myself, falling in love with myself before seeking acceptance from those around me.

  See, I don't think I need K's feelings anymore after all. They never held the worth of my own identity. And if I'm being completely honest with myself, I already know she feels something. I know she regrets what happened all those years ago.

  I don't need to hear her say the words in order to release the weight of them.

  Holy shit, and the realization of this? It's the single biggest relief I've felt in as long as I can remember.

  I quickly stand up and flip off the lights, turning around and climbing back into her bed. I slide underneath her covers, and a new peace comes over me. Something heavy but lacking disappointment. Lacking fear. Because now, at the end of all of this—she'll be safe. I'm okay surrendering for the sake of keeping those I care about away from him. And if I don't see her again? If this is the end for me? It'll be worth it.

  I couldn't protect my sister, but I can save K from this.

  My eyes slip shut, the feel of K's silk blankets slide against my skin and comfort me in ways I wouldn't have expected being in her bed. Inhaling, I c
an smell her on my skin, on the pillow beneath my head, in the atmosphere of the room.

  Clean. Sweet. Edgy with an air of excitement.

  I vaguely hear the muffled voices of the girls talking outside this room, and wonder what they're still discussing. But ultimately, I know it won't affect my decision. So, I block it out and let my mind linger on the few things I've enjoyed recently.

  All of them centering around K.

  Warm hands slide over my waist and across my stomach. Heated breath spans my shoulder blade and I naturally arch back against the touch, losing myself to the temptation behind me.

  This feels good. I must be dreaming, and I would love to get lost in a dream now.

  A slender form lies against my back. I'm tempted to open my eyes and find this reality, but I don't. I'm not ready to let go of it yet, and right now, I can imagine it's the one person I'd like to consume myself with.

  K.

  Maybe I can say goodbye in this dream and that'll be enough for me.

  I absently lift my hand and run my fingers over the ones on my stomach, weaving them together and dragging her touch higher. She moves willingly, her fingers slipping over the front of my bra and against my chest.

  I release a heavy breath and slide my hand back, venturing to feel her frame behind mine when my fingers glide over her thigh.

  Fuck, this feels too real and everything inside of me wants to open my eyes and find her in my bed. But remaining ignorant to whatever is happening seems far more appealing.

  "Shh." Muted sounds break out on the other side of the wall behind me. Damn it, now I know this isn't a dream.

  "Seriously, you have to be quiet. These walls are thin." I think that's Ruby's voice, but I'm still muddying around in my own sleep ridden mind to really make sense of it. It's still dark, no light shining through the windows and my sleepy eyes slowly flutter open in the obscure room.

  "I can't. Not when you're doing that." This time the voice is breathy, pitched a bit higher on a moan and my heart immediately slams in my chest at the realization. K's hand pauses in movement, and I freeze as well while we tread this line of doing what we shouldn't be doing—again.