Daisies

by Joshua Senter

  “Babe, I don’t think she does it for the money,” Willie sighed.

  Gwen shrugged. “Not that she sells much anyway.”

  Things had changed since Gwen and Willie were in school, Gwen was always quick to point out to Sheila and Butch. For starters, the government now had school buses that picked up everyone so that nobody had to walk to get an education any longer. Also, schools were bigger with sports programs and after-school activities. Gwen could hardly understand it when Sheila talked about school government. And it was a constant struggle between Gwen and Sheila over just how involved Sheila should get in after-school activities. To Gwen, school was meant for learning, period. But to Sheila, it was a whole world in and of itself. It was a reprieve, a club, a prison, a necessity. Everything she hadn’t learned from her momma or daddy, she was sure to find out there. No topic was too taboo, and because South East was attended by students from mixed backgrounds, there was always a taboo subject to discuss. Sheila and Butch never lacked for a dissertation from Gwen about how Oklahoma City had gone from a simple prairie town to a sprawl of people—many from the “wrong side of the tracks”—who had brought, along with their different colors of skin and different ways of behaving, “dirty clothes and dirty houses” that were a constant worry to Gwen. Sheila never quite understood this thinking. In fact, she secretly admired the “colored” girls in her school because of the way they managed to appear so strong in the face of so many jokes and disparaging comments flung at them throughout the day. She and her friends would even talk to the “colored” girls in the locker room once in a while simply because they were funny and usually very smart. And one hundred percent of the time, it was the “white” girls who were dirty, bringing up some make-out session they’d had with a boy over the weekend and detailing the way they were planning to lose their virginity at the next school dance. This behavior seemingly made them popular because it kept them at the center of conversation, made them the de facto Prom Queens and the girlfriends of the guys on the sports teams like Peyton Duke. This was another thorn in Gwen’s side. She swore everyone that went to high school was more interested in who was dating whom than getting an education these days. Sheila wanted to point out that Willie had dropped out of school because he’d gotten married to Gwen, and then, Gwen had dropped out herself when she became pregnant with Sheila, but Sheila kept her mouth shut. No, she’d just go to school like she always did, make good grades, be friendly and courteous, and attend the occasional school dance when she was allowed.

  “Hiya.”

  Sheila looked up from her locker to find Peyton Duke staring back at her, pale-faced. She looked around to make sure he was indeed looking at her. He was.

  “Hi.” Her voice cracked, and she was immediately mortified.

  Peyton didn’t seem to notice, however. He looked mortified himself, anxious, sick even. “I was wondering if you were going dance on Saturday? I mean, going to the dance on Saturday?”

  “Well, yeah. Ain’t everybody going?” Sheila managed to get out.

  “I saw you last weekend with your momma.”

  “Oh, really?”

  “I smiled. I guess you didn’t see me.”

  “Oh, I don’t know. I don’t pay much mind to people in other cars,” Sheila said, then instantly realized that she’d just given away the fact that she’d seen Peyton.

  “Well, I smiled, anyway,” he said.

  “Ain’t that nice.”

  “You wanna go dance with…” Peyton stopped himself and struggled for a breath. “You wanna go to the dance with me on Saturday?”

  Sheila had to lean against her locker to keep from fainting. For a moment, she couldn’t believe what she was hearing. Was Peyton Duke pulling a prank on her? Were people watching her this very second, laughing at her leaned against her locker, head all dizzy? Didn’t Peyton know he could ask any girl to the dance?

  “If you don’t want to go with me, I’ll understand. I mean, I know it’s kind of last-minute.”

  Sheila had to pull herself together. “That’s all right. I happen to be free.”

  Peyton wiped his sweaty palms on the trousers of his jeans. “Okay then.” And he walked away.

  Sheila watched after him, her mouth left slightly open. Okay then? That was it? Didn’t they need to plan outfits and figure out what time he’d pick her up? Then an even more terrifying thought struck her. What if Gwen and Willie wouldn’t let her go to this dance? They had only let her go to two school dances before, and that was when she went with three of her girlfriends, one of whom had a mother who was chaperoning the event. Oh, God, Sheila thought to herself. How embarrassing if she wasn’t allowed to go to the dance with Peyton. It’d be the end of life as she knew it. Sheila finished grabbing her books from her locker and, as she headed to class, began to think of ways in which she’d kill herself if Gwen and Willie told her she couldn’t go to the dance with Peyton. She’d write them a long, poetic note telling them what awful parents they were. Then she’d slice her wrists with a razor blade while in the bathtub just the way she’d heard girls did it. And oh how sorry they’d be. And Peyton would cry for her at her funeral and punch Willie in the face and swear he’d never love another girl again. And he wouldn’t.

  After what felt like the longest week in the history of Sheila’s life, she was going to be allowed to go with Peyton to the dance only as long as Peyton’s sister and her boyfriend double-dated with them. Sheila liked Peyton’s sister enough. Her name was Kit, and she was one of those popular girls who bragged about “doing it” with her longtime boyfriend, Robbie.

  The day of the dance, all seemed to go smoothly. Sheila lay out in the sun that afternoon to get a little color, and she painted her nails a lovely Conch Shell Peach. She washed her face three times and made certain to style her hair extra early in case she had to do it twice because of some unruly curl or disruptive cowlick. Gwen had been unusually relaxed about chores, only making Sheila vacuum her room, dust the den and living room, and Windex the front door window before leaving her to her own devices. Even Willie, who would often stalk around particularly stiffly and shoot Sheila mystified glances the day of one of her dances, seemed relaxed in his yard work, repainting the blades of a small, aluminum windmill, which had started to rust, back behind the house. The dress Sheila was wearing was the one Gwen had bought for her for Easter Sunday church service, and though it wasn’t new to her, it would be sufficiently new for everyone at school. Sure, it was a little bright and churchy, and the lines weren’t as modern as most of the dresses the other girls, like Kit, would wear, but it was pretty and it fit her well, which was one of the most important things to pay attention to in your wardrobe, according to McCall’s.

  Sheila barely ate anything for dinner because she was too nervous to keep any food down, and she didn’t want there to be a chance she would become puffy or bloated. The only talk at dinner was about Ruby and Darrel’s arrival earlier in the day across the street at Faye’s house. Sheila hadn’t seen Darrel, but then she hadn’t spent a lot of time looking out for him either. For the last week, she’d hardly been able to think about anything other than Peyton. She literally sat through more than a few classes without retaining a single thing her teachers had said. When she went to sleep, she did so dreaming about dancing with Peyton. When she woke up, she dressed in her absolute best clothes in case of any chance encounter with Peyton, even though she deliberately tried to avoid running into him at school if she could help it. Whatever had overcome him to ask her out, she didn’t want something else, like a bad outfit or a misplaced curl in her hair, to become a reversal of her good fortune, at least not until after this one dance, where she would mesmerize him so thoroughly that he’d never want to leave her no matter what.

  After dinner, Gwen didn’t make Sheila help clean up like she usually did. Instead, Sheila was allowed to apply final touches to her makeup and hair before Peyton arrived. She had just slipped on her cream-colored kitten heels when the doorb
ell rang. Sheila’s heart skipped a beat, sending a current of heat through her body, reigniting the perfume she had dabbed on only minutes earlier. She felt hesitant for the first time that day. But it wasn’t like she could just change her mind about going to the dance with Peyton now!

  Sheila could hear Gwen and Willie in the living room, all smiles, chatting up a storm as she made her way carefully down the hallway toward the living room. With each footstep, she went over the checklist in her head of everything she needed to have done in order to be perfect in her presentation to Peyton, including the way she was just now entering the living room.

  “Well, look at that, pretty as a picture!”

  Sheila looked around the living room, confused. Instead of Peyton standing there talking to her folks, it was Ruby and Darrel. Ruby made her way over to Sheila and held her by the shoulders. “Don’t you just—don’t she just look straight out of a magazine?” Ruby asked Darrel.

  Darrel, who stood straight and tall in his army best, nodded in Sheila’s direction. “That she does.”

  Sheila couldn’t help glaring at the audience gawking at her. She was not some animal in a zoo. More annoying than anything was the worry in the back of her mind. What if Peyton didn’t show?

  “Sheila has a school dance tonight,” Gwen offered

  “Well, isn’t that something,” Ruby smiled. “Remember when she was knee high to a grasshopper, Darrel?”

  “Sheila, say, hi,” Gwen commanded.

  “Hiya,” Sheila forced out with a pained smile. Then she looked at the clock on the wall. Peyton wasn’t late. Not yet. But he barely had any time to show up or he would be.

  Then headlamps glared off the living room wall, and Peyton’s parents’ big, shiny Cadillac pulled into the driveway.

  “Goodness, Lord. Who exactly is taking Sheila out, the Prince of Persia?” Ruby leered at the polished vehicle.

  Gwen started to respond to Ruby, but Sheila didn’t hear it. She wanted to retreat back to her room so that she could make her appearance once again. However, she couldn’t imagine the thought of leaving Peyton to face everyone and their goggle eyes in the living room. How embarrassing! Sheila tried to take a breath as she saw Peyton climb out of his car and head up the walk to the front door. Then he knocked. He knocked. Sheila’s heart began to pound again, her dress suddenly feeling too tight. Willie answered the door.

  “Mr. Barnett? Peyton Duke. How are you this evening?”

  “Fine. Fine,” Willie said calmly.

  Everyone watched their interaction quietly.

  “I’m here to pick up Sheila for school dance. I mean, for the school dance,” Peyton managed to get out.

  “Yes, well. She’s right here.” Willie made room for Peyton to step inside the house.

  Peyton nodded to all the eyes trained on him. “Good evening.” But he was eagerly searching out Sheila in the crowd. And when his eyes landed on her, he broke into a smile.

  She did the same and stepped toward him.

  “Now, you know all the rules, Sheila.”

  “Yes, momma. Geez!”

  Peyton offered his hand, and Sheila took it.

  “Precious,” Ruby sighed, covering her mouth with her hand.

  Peyton turned to Willie. “I’ll take good care of your daughter, Mr. Barnett. I promise.”

  “Do that, or I’ll have Darrel there come after you. He’s just back from Nam.”

  It was only then that Peyton saw Darrel. Instantly his smile disappeared, and he shot out his free hand toward Darrel. “Thank you for your service, sir.”

  Darrel shook Peyton’s hand firmly. Sheila watched this exchange and suddenly realized, even though they were only a couple years apart in age, there was a real difference between Peyton and Darrel. Darrel was the man, his face more firmly set, his eyes deeper, his voice duller, his skin greyer, his cheeks less full, his lips thinner. Maybe it was just the war she was seeing on him or maybe this happened to all men after high school; they lost that rubber that seemed to be the core of their makeup, which caused them to be more elastic and bounce every which way. Whatever the case, the difference between the two males haunted Sheila as Peyton led her out of the house.

  The dance was the typical South East High School affair. There was a mirror ball and streamers strung up from the gymnasium ceiling and an equal amount of chaperoning and slow dance songs. Peyton was an absolute gentleman, full of funny stories and jokes. Once he warmed up to Sheila, he was just about nonstop entertainment. There were moments when she looked at him and remembered how lucky she must appear to be walking around the gymnasium on his arm. But more often than not, she now saw him as a boy, void of mystery or depth, or not Darrel, not a man.

  He told her he’d be counting down the minutes until Monday, when he would see her again as he dropped her off later that night, Kit and Robbie having disappeared hours before.

  “Thank you,” Sheila replied and flitted up the walkway toward the front of the house. She turned to see Peyton backing out of the drive and waved to him as he pulled away. He waved back. Then he was gone, and Sheila’s gaze drifted from the tail lamps of his car to Grandma Faye’s porch, where she was struck with a queer sight. A tiny orb of amber light danced about in the darkness there. At first, Sheila couldn’t imagine what on earth it could be. Then smoke surrounded the light, and Darrel stepped into the glow of the street lamps with a cigarette in his mouth. He waved to her. She waved back. But she didn’t turn and head into the house. Instead, she just stood and watched Darrel, and he watched her.

  “Soodie?” Gwen had opened the front door and was peering out at Sheila, whom she called by the nickname Soodie. Sheila turned to her momma. “Yes?”

  “What are you doing just standing out on the porch?”

  “Nothing.” She turned to look back in the direction of Darrel, but he had disappeared like the smoke from his cigarette.

  As Sheila stepped out of her dress and hung it back up in her always carefully arranged closet, her mind was a blank. No grandiose thoughts or exaggerated feelings rushed about her head. She was numb. How could one night change everything, let alone one moment? Sheila kept going to the gauze curtains that covered her window, pulling them open just a peek, and looking out at Grandma Faye’s front porch, not even certain why she was doing so, not certain why she wasn’t about to explode with excitement that she’d spent an entire evening as the date of Peyton Duke. Slipping on her satin, light pink nightgown, a certain resentment began to build in her toward Darrel. She hated him. That was it. She hated him because he’d ruined everything. Why couldn’t he have just died in Vietnam? Why did he have to come back to America and down to Oklahoma City of all places and spoil her night with Peyton by making her think about him the whole time? And how did he even do that in the first place? She fell back onto her bed, exhausted, and without even turning off the light on her nightstand, drifted off to sleep.

  The day after the dance, Gwen awakened Sheila. “Get up and get your things together. Your daddy is taking us out to the lake.”

  “The lake?” Sheila asked groggily.

  “You got about fifteen minutes.” And Gwen exited the room so quickly it was almost like she’d never even been there.

  Sheila sighed, exhausted at the idea of waking up and all of the thoughts from the night before just waiting for her brain to turn on so they could come charging in. Fortunately the night seemed to have cleared her mind, and she quickly packed a small day bag replete with sunglasses, an apple, lotion, and her latest McCall’s.

  Lake Thunderbird was an artificial body of water formed by the damming of the Little River on the outskirts of Norman, Oklahoma. Surrounded by prairie land and groves of oak trees, it was a big lake, shaped like a U, with little inlets fraying off of it here and there, where plump bass, crappie, and catfish lounged in the sherbet green water while fishermen knotted hooks with hope up above. It was named after the Thunderbird Indian tribe of Oklahoma, and while a destination for man
y families, it was also large enough to give everyone the reprieve they came for.

  When the Barnetts pulled up to one of the north landings, Sheila was distressed to find Faye and Ruby already deep in preparations for a big lunch at one of the picnic sites close to the water’s edge. Surely the presence of Ruby meant Darrel would be nearby as well, but as greetings were made all around, Sheila could spot neither hide nor hair of him. However, just as she was starting to let herself get comfortable with the knowledge that Darrel would not be joining the family this afternoon, the sound of a speedboat blasted through the air, shattering the tranquility of the Sunday calm, and there was Darrel being pulled behind the flashy, new vessel on skis. And in minutes, he was making his way up out of the water toward the Barnett clan dripping wet.

  Sheila tried not to look at Darrel and attempted to conceal her interest when she did resign to sneaking a peek. He had a good body—lean and muscular. His bare chest had a light dust of hair around his quarter-sized nipples. And black wires pushed out from beneath his army swimming shorts, traveling down his large legs and up to just around his navel. His skin was baby white except his face, neck, and arms, where he had a bit of a tan. And what a smile—made up of straight teeth and playful blue eyes.

  “Who’s next?” he asked, shaking the water from his regulation-cut, jet black hair.

  Everyone laughed. Darrel headed for Ruby, but she jumped away. “Don’t you get me wet.” More laughter.

  “Sheila? Maybe you want to give it a try,” Faye suggested, uncovering a bowl of potato salad.

  Everyone looked at Sheila expectantly, and she could feel her insides squirming like worms in mud.

  “Yeah. I’ll show you how. It’s easy,” Darrel said.

  “I’d just as soon not get wet if it’s all the same to everybody,” Sheila announced.