Babydoll

by Nikkole Pruett

  "Thanks, Luke," I replied.

  "So, where's my darling brother? He said you guys were appearing tonight," he asked.

  I rolled my eyes and sighed. My Luke induced smile disappeared.

  "That fucker A.J. showed up and he had to go do one last thing," I said, sourly.

  "That stupid fuck," Luke groaned. "When did he leave? You couldn't stop him?"

  "A while ago. And you know how he is when he gets something in his stubborn head," I replied. "He promised he'd be back for me no later than one though."

  I looked at my phone. It was only eleven fifteen.

  Luke nodded.

  "I'm kicking the shit out of him when he gets back," he said.

  "I'll film it. We'll go viral," I said, nodding my encouragement.

  "So, my girl said she'd be here," Luke said, glancing around.

  "Yeah, we saw her earlier," I said. I finally drained the last sip from my cup. I thought maybe if I was chilling with Luke and Haley I would be able to relax enough to get my buzz on. "Wanna get a drink and hunt her down?"

  After we filled up our cups we circulated. My mood began to lift just like it always did when Lucas was around and the alcohol seemed to finally be doing its job. We jived through the crowd looking for blondie but mingling as well. Our search was proving fruitless until we ran into Makenna.

  "Down the hall, second door," she told us.

  I had a really bad feeling about the ratty gleam in her eyes. I started to tell Luke maybe we shouldn't worry about it but he was already hauling his bulk through the crowd and I had to step lively to catch up to him. By the time I was by his side again he was tapping a quick double knock on this random bedroom door and swinging it open.

  "Ha-" her name died on his lips when he saw her.

  She was on her knees with her pink mini dress pushed up over her tits. Her bra was still on but one boob was out. I didn't know the guy behind her, pumping away. And I didn't know the guy sitting in front of her with his jeans around his ankles and his hard on pointed at her mouth. What I did know was that the rubber strap tied around her arm and the needles on the floor in front of the bed meant the whole thing was beyond fucked. I also knew that the bellow of rage that came from the huge man next to me meant I needed to stop staring at the fuckery and act. As I dropped my drink and grabbed him with both hands attempting to dig my heels into the floor, the blonde at the center of the catastrophe finally noticed her past exploding around her.

  "Luke?" she questioned drugged-dreamily. The guy behind her never stopped and the guy in front of her looked confused.

  I heard Luke hiss the words mother fucker and he charged forward again. I knew if he got to either of the guys the results would be horrifying. I started yelling whatever came to mind.

  "Luke don't!" I yelled. "It's not worth it! She's not worth it!"

  Thankfully, my weight was slowing his progress toward the dumbasses on the bed. Also thankfully, they stopped with the porn scene but they were so fucked up that they were just kind of sitting their mostly naked and stunned.

  "Please Luke!" I was still blathering on. "Your family can’t take anymore drama! Think about all the shit your parents have dealt with!"

  "I'll fucking kill you!" Luke bellowed at them. I wasn’t even sure who he was planning to murder.

  "Luke, Lucy's pregnant!" I screamed. "She needs you!"

  Apparently, that cut through the rage fog and Lucas stilled just steps from his intended target. His huge hands dropped to his sides. He looked down at me and he looked kind of confused. He looked back at the bed and the blonde. He never said a word. He just turned and walked away, not shoving through the crowd who had gathered at the door but just easing through. It was the most defeated thing I had ever seen. Before I followed him I looked at Haley. Her eyes were alarmed and lost.

  "Bailey?" she questioned, her face turning to distraught.

  I didn't have any words. I just shook my head and followed the man she just destroyed.

  B

  "Where did I go wrong BabyB?" Lucas asked me, taking another sip from the bottle of Jack in his hand. I should have been concerned that a good portion of the bottle was gone but I knew all the fight was gone out of the giant.

  "You didn't, Luke," I assured him. I took a sip of my own drink. It was Cherry Coke. I had given up on getting drunk.

  "I just feel like I could have saved her. Like I should had saved her. Like I still should," he said. His eyes were shiny with tears and it was breaking my heart.

  After we walked away from the shit scene, Luke tossed me his keys and asked me to get him out of there. I did as I was asked. Then I did as he asked when he told me to drive to the liquor store. And I did it again when he asked me to stay with him. And I didn't ask any questions when we reached his and Haley's house side by side with sleeping parents tucked in their bed and he crossed through the always open gate to sit on her back deck. I just texted his brother and told him where we'd be and that I'd fill him in later. And that I loved him.

  "Like, how did I not see how bad it was?" Luke asked.

  "I didn't see it either, Luke," I told him, softly.

  "No, you didn't, Bailey. Why weren't you watching? Were you so wrapped up in my fucking brother you couldn't see your best friend is killing herself?" he snaps.

  I looked down, properly chastised because he was right. There were a hundred things I should have seen but I was too wrapped up in my own bullshit.

  "I'm sorry, Baby-doll. I didn't mean that. It's not your fault. It's no one but Haley's fault," he said softly. He didn’t even bother to stop the tears streaming down his cheeks.

  He was right on both so I didn't know what to say. I just took his big paw in mine and we sat.

  B

  It was nearing one after I helped Luke stagger up to his bed. Thankfully, Mrs. Elton hadn't changed the alarm code so I was able to borrow Haley's old Schwinn out of their garage. I could let Haley or Lucy know it was at my house later on. Although, I really didn't think Haley would be needing it anytime soon. I texted Lane again to let him know what I was doing. Every time a car passed me on the dark ride home I kind of expected it to be him.

  When I got home I needed to decompress, so I smoked a fat joint and crawled into bed. I made sure to text Lane and tell him the window was unlocked. Then I put my phone on silent because messages were already starting to fly about the Haley show and I just couldn't deal.

  I woke up at two thirty because I had to pee like mad. I glanced at my phone. Seventeen missed calls. Twelve unread messages. None from Lane. I used the restroom and crawled back in bed. It crossed my mind that the boy had broken another promise. But I would deal with that in the morning.

  * * *

  Chapter 27

  * * *

  From the Town Ledger May 16, 2009 (front page):

  GRAD NIGHT TRADEGY

  Two were killed in a tragic graduation night car crash. Anthony J. Santiago, 18 and Lane A. Campbell, 19 were killed when the car they were driving over Kellerman Bridge crashed through the railing and landed on the embankment below.

  From the Town Ledger May 29, 2009 (front page):

  FOUL PLAY SUSPECTED IN TRAGIC CRASH

  Sources say that foul play suspected in the tragic car crash that killed two local teens on graduation night. The investigation is on-going and police officials cannot comment.

  From the Town Ledger June 22, 2009 (front page):

  SANTIAGO CHARGED IN TEEN COUSIN MURDER

  Joseph L. Santiago has been charged in the double murder of two teens. On graduation night Lane A. Campbell and Anthony J. Santiago were killed when the vehicle they were driving crashed. Upon further investigation it was determined that foul play was the cause of the accident.

  From the Town Ledger July 29, 2009 (page two):

  ESTEEMED DOCTOR MAKES HEARTFELT PLEAD FOR JUSTICE

  Dr. Winston Campbell took the stand today in the trail of Joseph L. Santiago to plead for justice for his son Lane A. Campbell.

&nb
sp; From the Wichita Times September 21, 2009 (page five):

  MURDER TRIAL COMES TO A CLOSE

  Trial for Joseph L. Santiago has come to a close today. The case of double murder of two teenagers that devastated a tight knit community had resulted in a guilty verdict.

  * * *

  Chapter 28

  * * *

  Cody's boyfriend Clark is addicted to Law and Order. At first I couldn't deal with it because it reminded me too much of being in that room. The courtroom was stuffy and it smelled bad. And I spent hours there telling secrets and reliving the worst night of my life. In that room, I saw people I cared about laid bare. In that room, I learned about how my heart's light was extinguished because some small time crook couldn't stand to lose. The car accident that took Lane and his hoodlum friend wasn’t an accident at all. Santiago ran them off the road. He killed my boyfriend and his own cousin because Lane was working with the police. Real life was even more tragic than T.V.

  Little by little the show stopped reminding me of the courthouse in my hometown. And really, Law and Order is damn compelling. These days my only real beef with the show is never looks at what happens after the trial. The trial isn't the end. Even though someone is gone and the someone responsible is locked away to rot, it's not over. The trial changes everyone.

  Lane’s parents no longer live next door to my childhood best friend's house. After the birth of Bentley Lane Elton they moved to Michigan so they could be near the little guy who would never know the uncle he was named for. Despite Lucy’s tears in the bathroom Gavin didn’t hate her. With the support of both of their parents both Lucy and Gavin were able to stay in school and raise their little guy. He just started grade school and even though most people say he looks just like Gav, I see a the ghost of Lane in his smile. Lucy and I may never really be friends again but were linked on social media. Their little family is happy and I’m happy for them.

  Lucas sinks every minute of spare time and life draining energy into trying to save a girl who doesn't really want to be saved because he couldn't save his little brother. Even though he knows she’s stealing his vitality away, he allows her to keep him with her. At least he’s with her as much as you can be with someone who spends their time in and out of rehab. She’s been twice this year. I try to go visit Luke once or twice a year. I don’t visit Haley.

  The Campbell's weren't the only ones changed by the trial. The Sweeten family was changed as well. All of the secrets I kept were made public knowledge in that courtroom. And the ones that weren't came out at home. The strain that had started on the relationship between my dad and I when I started keeping dangerous secrets turned into a full scale rift. We call each other on all the major holidays but we don’t spend them together.

  As for me, most days, I say I’m ok. My shrink says I’m ok. With Cody by my side I managed to get through undergrad and now I’m working on my Masters in Psychology. I’m not really sure what I’ll do with the degree specifically, but I know I want to help people. I think if more people had someone to help them shoulder the weight of their secrets the world might be a little bit better place.

  Haley once told me I was willfully naïve. That’s certainly not true these days. In fact, you could say I’m overly cautious. Not about crossing the street or crowds or whatever, but about people. I have a very small circle of people whom I love fiercely but I don’t put myself out there to start new relationships. My shrink says I don't let people in because I’m scared to lose them. But I think I’m still not over the boy I wasn't supposed to fall for. I don't know if I ever will be.

  Acknowledgments

  Thank you to Bestie and Auntie for always having an opinion.