Kiss and Spell (11 Valentine's Day Paranormal Short Stories)

by Liz Schulte

  One does need to make an entrance, after all.

  “Where do you even find these outfits?” Althea murmured as she began to pull away from the curb.

  And screeched to a halt as a desperate Rafe slammed into her windshield.

  “Damn it, Rafe! You could’ve sent me into another car!” Althea seethed, rolling her window down to shoo the disgruntled ghost into the back seat of her car. “What’s with him?”

  “He’s in a snit. And since he’s not telling me why, I’m not paying him any mind,” Miss Elva declared, studiously ignoring the angry Rafe in the backseat. Snarls greeted her words and she cracked a smile as she looked out the window. Ghosts were such drama queens.

  “Oookay, then,” Althea drew out the word as she began to drive again. Glancing in the rearview mirror, she sized up Rafe. “Rafe, what’s your problem?”

  “Love, cheating, that’s what,” Rafe muttered.

  “Sounds great, sorry to hear that,” Althea said brightly before turning to Miss Elva. “How do I look?”

  “Like a tart,” Rafe grumbled from the back seat, clearly annoyed that neither woman was making a fuss over his dramatics.

  “In a good way though?” Althea asked, unperturbed by Rafe’s dig.

  Miss Elva cast a critical eye over Althea’s dress. A deep purple color with red trim, it eschewed the typical Valentine’s Day colors for a more subtle approach. It also fit like a second skin, and stopped mid-way on Althea’s thigh.

  “That’s not a maxi dress,” Miss Elva observed.

  “Is that a problem? Do I look bad?” Althea fidgeted.

  “Naw, child, you look smokin’. It’s nice to see you break out of the flowy dresses for a change – even though they are your signature style. Change is good. And far be it from me to deny a woman showing off the curves the Goddess gave her. More power to you,” Miss Elva chuckled as they turned onto the main drag of Tequila Key’s little downtown.

  It was nothing more than a strip, really, the stores clambering over each other for space – as real estate along the water was in high demand. A few restaurants, Finz General Store, an ice cream shop, and a variety of tourist-type stores made up the bulk of the street. At the end, perched higher on rocky ground, was Lucky’s Tiki Bar, owned by their good friend, Beau.

  The tiki torches flamed bright red tonight, and hearts and doilies were strung beneath the thatched roof. Already a crowd was forming inside.

  “Looks like this Lonely Hearts Club was a good idea,” Miss Elva said.

  “Yeah, I think there’s more of us out there than you’d realize,” Althea said, biting back the words too late. Miss Elva slanted a look at her.

  “Now child, you were all over Cash a minute ago. You can’t tell me your heart is all that lonely,” Miss Elva said.

  “He’s left. Back up to Miami for work. Or L.A. I’m not really all that sure. It seems his family has made it clear that I’m not what is expected for a man of his pedigree,” Althea bit out.

  “Whooo, child. No they didn’t! They saying you ain’t good enough? Did you tell them your mother is famous? Or about your father’s musical background? Why, he’s an esteemed professor, after all!” Miss Elva felt her temper begin to kick up. Nobody was going to say that her friends weren’t good enough for them.

  “He knows all that. It wasn’t him saying that. Apparently it was his family who said something to him. That sister of his.”

  “So he just leaves? That’s not the way to hold onto your woman. And over Valentine’s Day too? Child, it’s time for you to take a look at that yummy Trace again,” Miss Elva said.

  Althea sighed as she parked in a spot that Beau reserved just for her. Tugging at the hemline of her skirt, she shot Miss Elva a look.

  “Don’t think I haven’t had a few naughty thoughts about Trace. And because of that, it’s best I swear off men completely,” Althea grumbled.

  “Now, where’s the fun in that, honey?” Miss Elva hooted as Rafe flew past her head and into the bar.

  “It may not be fun, but it’s certainly less complicated,” Althea said, swinging her purse over her shoulder.

  “Complicated is what life’s all about, child.”

  Chapter Three

  Hit the road Jack…

  “Perfect music for a Lonely Hearts party,” Miss Elva said as she swept into the tiki bar. Dark wood paneling covered the walls, with seascapes and underwater pictures from Althea’s photography line contributing a punch of color. Fish nets and puffer fish lamps added kitsch, while linen napkins and pretty candles added elegance. Beau had hit all the right notes here and it attracted all the residents of Tequila Key – even the elite.

  “Theodore’s here,” Miss Elva whispered to Althea.

  “Shut up. Why isn’t he out wining and dining his wife?” Althea asked, craning her neck to look around.

  Theodore Whittier was one of Tequila Key’s elite – his family were founding members, thankyouverymuch – and he was on the board of pretty much everything in town. With suspenders crossing his generous belly and a bulbous red nose, Theodore was quite certain of his place in the world.

  “I seriously can’t believe he’s here – what with that whole drama earlier this year,” Althea whispered as they steered clear of Theodore and headed to the long circle bar that dominated the middle of the room, behind which Beau was mixing drinks.

  “It appears they didn’t patch things up after all,” Miss Elva shrugged and then grinned at Beau. “Now, that’s a sight for sore eyes. Pucker up, pretty boy.” Leaning across the bar, she smacked her lips on Beau’s and laughed heartily, not caring that people glanced at her oddly.

  “Don’t you just shine tonight,” Beau observed as he poured an obnoxiously pink drink from a shaker into a martini glass.

  “That’s the truth of it, child. I do shine. Check out my shimmer, too,” Miss Elva laughed as she did a little shimmy for Beau before she slid onto a barstool.

  “And don’t you just look… decadent,” Beau decided as he cast a critical eye over Althea’s dress.

  “That was the plan,” Althea said dryly as she bent across the bar to kiss Beau’s cheek.

  “Child, you best be watching where you bend over tonight – you ’bout flashed the whole room,” Miss Elva said, tugging on Althea’s arm to seat her.

  “Shoot! I’m not used to short dresses,” Althea complained.

  “And who exactly are you wearing that dress for tonight?” Beau asked as he began to mix up another drink.

  “Not for Cash, that’s for sure,” Althea said, scanning the room.

  “Ahh, are we on the outs with Loverboy? I suppose that explains why I’ve been getting the cold shoulder from his brother as of late,” Beau said.

  “Shut up! He’s ignoring you, too?” Althea slapped her hand on the bar, ready to wage war upon those who had hurt them.

  Beau shrugged. “Let’s just say he’s been distant.”

  “Yeah, don’t I know it,” Althea muttered, again turning to scan the crowd. “Hey, what’s on the table over there?”

  “I’ve got appetizers laid out, as well as a specialty red sangria for the night. I figured that way people could serve themselves and let the good mood flow. I have to say – I’ve outdone myself. The sangria is to die for. Or I can mix you up whatever you’d like.”

  “I’ll have a Corona,” Miss Elva said, but pointed a finger at Althea. “Go get yourself a glass of the fancy sangria, child. Maybe you’ll meet someone by the punch bowl.”

  “Oh yeah, like I need to meet anyone else,” Althea scoffed, but slid off the stool nonetheless.

  “Hello, my pretty,” Rafe sang as he hovered over the stool that Althea had just vacated. Miss Elva kept her eyes trained ahead – not only to punish Rafe, but also to avoid looking like a crazy person talking to herself in public. After all, not everyone could see Rafe.

  “Sure looks like you gone and rid yourself of that mood of yours, then,” Miss Elva said quietly as she took a swig of her beer.


  “Of course, my glorious lovemountain. Just a snit really. I’m so happy to be here with you tonight,” Rafe exclaimed.

  Miss Elva slid a glance at the ghost.

  “Now, why is it you look like a cat that just ate the canary?”

  “Me? I have no idea what you are talking about.” Rafe folded his arms across his chest and looked around – everywhere but at Miss Elva.

  “Rafe, what’s going on?”

  Rafe zipped from the room, flying in front of people who looked momentarily startled by the sudden cool breeze, and out through the patio doors to the water beyond. Miss Elva gaped after him, confusion running through her as she tried to figure out what the ghost was up to.

  “Beau’s right – this sangria is amazing,” Althea said, coming back to her stool.

  “I’ll take your word for it,” Miss Elva said, taking another sip of her beer. With beer, she knew where she stood. Miss Elva had learned long ago that drinking while wielding her considerable power was not a recipe for success. So she’d said goodbye to liquor and stayed content with the soft buzz that beer could bring.

  “Oh look, it’s the psychic and the voodoo priestess. How come I’m not surprised that they’re lonely on Valentine’s Day?”

  “Theodore, always a pleasure,” Althea said, rolling her eyes at him.

  “I think the real question is why you aren’t out with your wife on Valentine’s Day? She find out just what kind of man you really are, Theodore?” Miss Elva said sweetly as she sipped her beer. A thunderous rage swept over Theodore’s face and he took a step forward to stick his finger in Miss Elva’s face.

  “Now you listen here…”

  “What do you think, Miss Elva? Turn him into a toad? Or how about a squid? They get eaten quickly,” Althea mused as she saluted Theodore with her pink drink.

  “Why… I… you two should be locked up,” Theodore sputtered, but Althea’s comment had the desired effect. He hightailed it for the punch bowl, shooting dirty glances over his shoulder at them.

  “Nasty man. Never had to work for anything in his life. Makes you bitter, you know,” Miss Elva said.

  “Trace is here,” Althea whispered, studiously ignoring the front door through which Trace, Althea’s friend and dive buddy, had just come in with a slim blonde on his arm.

  “He still dating that little chippy?” Miss Elva asked, raising an eyebrow at the blonde’s excuse for a dress.

  “I wouldn’t know,” Althea said, but the pink staining her cheeks said she did.

  “Thea, Miss Elva,” Trace said from behind them, having obviously rushed over to where they sat.

  “Trace, child, what are you doing here on Valentine’s Day? Isn’t this a singles mixer? Shouldn’t you be taking your girl out for a romantic dinner?” Miss Elva asked sweetly, deciding to stir the pot. Tall and lanky, with hair long enough to be tucked into a nub at the nape of his neck, Trace exuded surfer casual. He had no trouble finding the ladies, but it seemed that lately, his eyes were following Althea more than they used to. Miss Elva had watched it all from the sidelines, wondering when the boy would get up some nerve to take what he believed to be his.

  “Is it a singles mixer? I thought it was a party,” Trace said, turning to smile at Althea.

  “It’s called the Lonely Hearts Valentine’s Day party,” Miss Elva said, rolling her eyes at Trace.

  “Well, then, what are you two ladies doing here?” Trace asked gallantly, but his eyes were for Althea only.

  “Trace, come on, I want to get some punch.” The blonde on his arm, who had yet to speak to Miss Elva or Althea, pouted and tugged at him a bit.

  “Sure, babe, let’s get some punch,” Trace said, taking a step back.

  “Have fun,” Althea said brightly, not turning to look at Trace.

  “You still didn’t answer my question, Althea,” Trace said over his shoulder as the blonde towed him across the room to the punch bowl.

  “Whoooo, child, that is some serious steam,” Miss Elva chuckled and fanned herself.

  Althea muttered to herself as she drained her punch glass and slammed it down on top of the bar.

  “Calm down, woman. No need to break my glasses,” Beau said sternly as he came back and took the empty from Althea. “Don’t make me cut you off after your first drink.”

  “I’m cranky,” Althea admitted, shoving her curls back from her face and crossing her arms over her chest, her sandal swinging back and forth from her toes.

  “No need to take it out on the glassware,” Beau muttered as he slid a plastic cup across the bar towards Althea.

  “Oh, now I get a kiddie cup?”

  “If the glass fits…” Beau smiled wickedly, and Althea flipped him off before she flounced across the room for more sangria.

  “When is she going to realize she isn’t meant for one man?” Beau asked Miss Elva.

  “Child, that woman can only handle one man at a time and you know it. She’s too wound up in her psychic world to be juggling more than one love partner.”

  “That may be true – in which case, I think she just needs to pick Trace and be done with it,” Beau said as he passed another Corona across the bar to Miss Elva.

  “I thought you were on Team Cash, what with you dating his brother and all.”

  “You don’t see a fine, strong man hanging out at my party tonight, do you?” Beau demanded, his hands on his hips.

  “Then to hell with them both,” Miss Elva decided, holding her beer up to cheers Beau.

  “Hey, wait a minute, I want in on this cheers, too,” Althea said as she slid back into her seat, her plastic cup raised.

  “To hot men and even hotter nights,” Beau declared.

  “Amen to that,” Miss Elva chuckled.

  Chapter Four

  “I wouldn’t mind a hot night,” Althea grumbled again, sipping her drink.

  “Child, there is nothing more boring than a cranky woman who won’t shake herself out of it. You could’ve stayed home and ate ice cream and watched Netflix. So don’t come here bringing your bad mood down on me. Go home, then, if all you’re gonna do is sit around and whine,” Miss Elva ordered.

  Beau clapped dramatically. “As always, the incomparable Miss Elva,” he intoned.

  “Damn it. You’re right, I am being boring. And annoying. I’m sorry,” Althea sighed. Turning, she looked over her shoulder to where Trace stood with the blonde by the patio. “I have to say, he looks damn hot tonight. I kind of want to go jump him.”

  Miss Elva snorted. “I wouldn’t mind seeing that. I swear, though, it seems like hooking up is on everyone’s mind tonight. Is it just me or are things getting particularly…carnal up in here?”

  Beau craned his head around, noticing the many couples who had drifted closer together, running hands lightly over clothes, stealing a kiss here and there.

  “Well, it is a lonely hearts party. I suppose this is bound to happen.”

  Althea shook her head and took another sip of her drink.

  “So your man’s non-existent, Trace walks in with a girl on his arm but his eyes are only on you, and Rafe’s gone missing,” Miss Elva said, raising her bottle to tap it lightly against the rim of Althea’s drink. “Cheers!”

  As soon as she took another sip from her bottle, Miss Elva froze. The brush of her own magick pushed at her and she pulled back her hand to examine the bottle. Slowly, her eyes trailed over to Althea’s near-empty drink. Grabbing it from the startled Althea, she buried her nose in the plastic cup.

  And closed her eyes when she realized what Rafe had done.

  Chapter Five

  “We’ve got a problem,” Miss Elva breathed, turning to take in the room.

  In a matter of moments, it had gone from casual flirtations to half-clad women and men pressed against walls, running hands up torsos and under shirts, lips locked in kisses.

  Beau gasped when Theodore crossed the room to stand in front of Miss Elva, a flirtatious smile on his face.

  “Have I told you how pret
ty you look tonight?” Theodore asked, reaching out to trail a finger down Miss Elva’s arm. His touch sent chills through her – and not in a good way.

  “I suggest you take your hands off me before I shrink your head,” Miss Elva said lightly and Theodore laughed, his eyes wide with love as he looked at Miss Elva.

  “You’re so funny. It’s one of my favorite things about you. Can I buy you a drink?”

  Miss Elva held up her Corona silently as the wheels turned in her brain.

  “Well, then I’ll just keep a pretty lady company while she drinks,” Theodore decided, moving his considerable bulk towards a stool.

  “Stop right there,” Miss Elva ordered, throwing a freezing spell at Theodore. He stopped dead in his tracks, looking around in confusion.

  “You have a wife and you love her very much. She’s the one you want. You were just confused.” Miss Elva spoke slowly, her eyes focused on Theodore’s.

  “Yes, yes…my wife. Where is she?” Theodore said dazedly.

  “At home. It’s best you go now,” Miss Elva said gently and Theodore nodded, walking away without another word. Miss Elva turned to meet Beau’s eyes.

  “Holy shitake, pinch me if I’m dreaming, but I do believe Theodore was just hitting on you,” Beau said, his mouth hanging open.

  “Beau, listen to me, we’ve got a huge problem,” Miss Elva leaned over the bar, her words urgent.

  “What is going on in here? It’s like a porn movie is about to go down,” Beau said, awe and disgust warring on his face.

  “It’s the punch. Rafe poured my love potion in the punch.”

  “Oh no,” Beau breathed, turning to glance at the almost empty sangria bowl. “What does it do?”

  “It was a potion for a lovely couple who just needed a jolt in the bedroom. Essentially, it intensifies any amorous feelings you have for someone.”