Vulnerable: (McIntyre Security Bodyguard Series - Book 1)

by Wilson, April

  The panic had receded only to be replaced with sorrow. Secretly, she was glad that he’d asked her to stay the rest of the night. She hadn’t really wanted to go, but she’d been afraid to stay, too. She hadn’t wanted this night to be another one of her failures. She’d wanted him! She really had. She still did. The idea of running away from this was abhorrent.

  The bedding rustled softly as he shifted behind her in the bed, and she thought he’d probably rolled to his back. She had no idea how long they’d been lying there, both pretending to be asleep, but she figured he was tired of watching her.

  She turned to look back at him and saw that he was indeed lying on his back. His hands were clasped on his abdomen, and he was staring at the ceiling.

  Even after all the drama, looking at him still gave her butterflies. She’d never wanted someone so much in her life. If she couldn’t do this with him, then she’d never be able to do it with anyone. And she’d be damned if she’d let some monster like Howard Kline steal this part of her life from her.

  She rolled to face him and laid her hand on top of his.

  When he looked at her, the mixture of sadness and resignation in his expression made her throat tighten painfully.

  “I’m sorry, Shane,” she said in a quiet voice.

  “God, please don’t apologize. You have nothing to be sorry for. I’m the one who fucked up. I’m the one who’s sorry.”

  She rose up on her elbow and faced him. “I don’t want to be like this,” she said, her eyes tearing up. She swallowed hard. “Can we try again?”

  Shane closed his eyes, his expression pained, and Beth thought maybe it was too late.

  “You mentioned me being on top,” she said. “Maybe that would help. If you don’t want to....”

  He squeezed her hand. “It’s not that I don’t want to try again, Beth,” he said. “I do. Believe me, I do.”

  “But?” she said, because there was definitely a but in his voice.

  “I – I just don’t want to put you through that again.”

  “Can we try?”

  He looked at her, indecision warring on his face.

  Her hand slipped out from under his and traveled down top of the sheet until she found his penis lying soft between his legs. Of course he’d lost his erection. What did she expect, after all the ugly drama?

  Shane gently removed her hand from between his legs and returned it to his chest. “It’s not permanent,” he said, smiling at her.

  She could tell from his expression that he wasn’t willing to risk another catastrophe that night, so she shoved her fears away and took another leap of faith. She leaned forward and kissed him.

  It was the first time she’d initiated a kiss with him, and she felt awkward doing it. Her lips moved gently over his, and she hoped he would take over. At first he lay unresponsive, but when she licked the seam of his lips, his mouth opened beneath hers and his lips clung to hers. Their kiss became hungry, and when his hand cupped the back of her head, his fingers threading through her hair, she sighed with relief.

  He grabbed her hand and brought it back down to his penis, which was clearly back in the game, stirring and swelling rapidly. “Feel what you do to me,” he said, as he pressed her hand to his erection. His penis continued to stiffen, bucking beneath her fingers. She gripped him through the sheet, and he growled, a rough sound deep in his throat.

  Shane reached between her legs and touched her sex, testing her readiness, relieved to find her still wet. “Straddle me,” he said, shoving the sheet away.

  Beth rose up on her knees and let him guide her onto his hips.

  “How about we lose the shirt?” he said, unbuttoning the shirt he’d put on her earlier.

  She blushed hotly as he undid the last button, baring her chest to his hungry gaze. When the shirt slipped off her shoulders, exposing her breasts, he tossed it to the floor. His erection had recovered fully and was once more defying gravity as it stood firm and demanding. He grasped her bottom and pulled her closer, so that her sex was nestled right up against the thick root of his cock.

  She looked down, captivated by the sight of her pale blond curls intermingling with his dark, wiry hair.

  “You’re in control,” Shane said, his eyes riveted to their sexes. “Take it at your own pace.”

  His heart pounded in his chest as he felt her trembling thighs gripping his hips. He hoped like hell this would work, because he couldn’t bear to see her fall apart again. Having her on top and in control was the only strategy he could come up with, other than simply getting her drunk, which he couldn’t bring himself to do.

  He reached between her open thighs and cupped her sex with his fingers, letting her get used to the feel of him touching her there. When she didn’t stop him, he slipped a finger between her folds and began a slow exploration of her sex, reveling in her wetness.

  He pressed the pad of his thumb against her clitoris, and Beth made an inarticulate sound, part groan and part cry. She jerked and rose up on her knees when his thumb began to work on her.

  “Try to relax, sweetheart. Let me make this good for you.”

  Never in his life had Shane felt such anxiety in bed. He wanted this to be a good experience for her, the beginning of a relationship for the two of them. It wasn’t just sex for him, and he knew it would never be just sex for her. Slowly and steadily, he massaged her clitoris, pressing and stroking, and he smiled when he felt her begin to relax and sink back down onto his thighs.

  He kept up the stroking, ratcheting up the pressure, until he felt the muscles in her thighs tensing, could see the muscles in her lower belly tightening up. But he didn’t want her to come just yet. There was a hell of a lot more pleasure he could give her in the build-up to it. So he just kept stroking, alternately increasing and decreasing the pressure to keep her orgasm in limbo.

  Beth’s eyes drifted shut, and she started squirming against his touch, making soft whimpering sounds that made his cock even harder, if that was possible. Her thighs moved restlessly, and her hips began to rise and press against his hand as she sought to increase the pressure there. He slipped a finger inside her hot, flushed core.

  “My God, you’re so tight,” he grated, loving the feel of her body clinging to his finger. Her tightness was both a blessing and a curse. Being inside her was going to blow his mind – he knew that already. But his length and girth would make it harder for her.

  She was slick with arousal, which gave him some reassurance. When her breathing became quick and shallow and her eyes widened, he knew she was close, and he backed off.

  Giving a cry of frustration, Beth glared at him. That made him smile.

  “Soon, sweetheart,” he promised, knowing it would have to be soon. He was already so hard he hurt, and his balls were aching with the need to come. He knew he wouldn’t be able to hold out much longer. “I want to make sure you’re ready.”

  “I am ready,” she groaned, pushing her sex against his fingers, trying to find that wonderful pressure again.

  Shane’s finger coaxed the wetness of her arousal out of her core, and he bathed her sex with it, priming her, making sure she was ready to take him. He knew he was a lot to take, and for someone with her limited experience, he knew she was in for some discomfort. There was no help for it. But he would gladly do whatever he could to minimize any pain she might feel.

  He brought his thumb to his mouth and sucked off her juices. Then he grabbed a condom packet and ripped it open with his teeth, then quickly sheathing himself.

  “Rise up on your knees,” he said, grasping her hips. She obeyed. He sat up and kissed her mouth, then dipped his head down and kissed the tip of each breast. “Now scoot closer.” With his hands on her hips, he coaxed her to forward on her knees. “Up and over me.”

  She did as he directed, but hesitated when she felt the broad head of his cock nudging against her opening. “Shane.”

  “It’s okay,” he said. “You’re doing great. Lift up a little, sweetheart,” he instru
cted, trying to position her over him. “Good. Now put me inside you. You do it.” He grabbed the base of his cock and angled it at her opening. Then he wrapped one of her hands around his cock. “Use your hand to guide me in.”

  Beth edged closer up on her knees, awkward and unsure. He brought his hands to her waist to steady her.

  “That’s right,” he said when she was in position. “Now sink down on me. Let gravity do the work.”

  She positioned the fat crown of his cock at the opening of her sex and pressed down a bit.

  “That’s it,” he said. “Keep going.”

  “I’m trying,” she said, her voice edged with frustration as she tried to work herself down onto him.

  “It’ll be easier once you get the head in,” Shane said, and he grabbed hold of his cock and bucked his hips upward, spearing the head into her.

  Beth winced as the head of his cock breeched her opening, and her eyes watered.

  “Are you okay?” he said, his brow furrowing.

  “I’m fine,” she gasped.

  Shane reached between her legs and started stroking her clitoris again. “Work yourself down slowly. Give your body time to adjust.”

  She pushed down, her body tensing.

  “Relax your muscles,” he said, stroking her thighs.

  Shane didn’t want to rush her. He was grateful she’d made it this far, and he didn’t want to risk a setback. But at this rate, he was certain he would die of blue balls before she was fully seated.

  She kept advancing and retreating, a little bit at a time, until she started to sink down on him. “Oh!” she gasped, when she slipped down a couple inches suddenly, pulling back up a bit in surprise.

  “It’s okay, sweetheart,” he said, his hands squeezing her hips. “You’re doing great.”

  She looked down at him, her eyes bright and unsure, her pupils dilated. Then she moved on him again and sank down a little farther. When he gave a tiny upward thrust with his hips, helping the process along just a little bit, her eyes widened.

  “Okay?” he asked, his hands squeezing her hips.

  “Yes,” she said. “It’s just... a lot... to take.”

  He had to bite his tongue to keep from chuckling. He was barely half-way inside her, and she thought this was a lot?

  She shimmied herself down farther onto his length, and Shane thought he was about to lose either his mind or his load with all her wriggling. The feel of her surrounding him – so hot and silky wet – was trying his endurance. He had to grit his teeth against giving in to the desire to thrust into her. This would have been so much easier if she were beneath him. He cheated a little and rocked himself upward with tiny thrusts. Finally, when he was just about there, he gave one last desperate upward push which buried him to the hilt.

  Beth winced again and grabbed hold of his wrists.

  “Are you okay?” he said. God, finally! He was inside her. He gritted his teeth as he tried not to come.

  She nodded. “Yes. It’s just... a lot.”

  Shane noticed the tension in her expression and her death grip on his wrists. She looked rather uncomfortable. “Beth, are you hurting?” he said.

  She closed her eyes. “A little.”

  “Try to relax. Your body will adjust. Just give it a few moments.”

  Beth moved hesitantly on him, lifting up, then inching back down again. She did that a few more times, finding it easier each time as her silky arousal coated him.

  He bit back a groan. It had been a hell of a long time since he’d felt such a precarious hold on his climax. Her tight heat alone was enough to make him come. If she squeezed her sex, he’d probably lose it.

  Beth was moving more freely on him now, and he saw her expression soften as she bit her bottom lip. She even smiled when she pulled up and then sank back down on him, her wet flesh gliding easily along his rigid cock.

  “Experiment with different angles, sweetheart,” he said. “You’ll find the right one. I want you to make yourself come on me. Just do what feels good and relax. It’ll happen.”

  With her eyes closed, she began to move on him. She varied her angle, leaning forward, leaning back, changing her pace. She eventually let go of her death grip on his wrists and planted her palms on his shoulders instead, to steady herself. Before long, she’d found her rhythm as she worked herself leisurely on his cock.

  “That’s right, baby,” he murmured as he watched her move on him. She likely had no idea how sensual she looked as she rode him. The lines of her body were exquisite, and her small breasts were sheer perfection as they gently bobbed up and down with her movements. A small smile appeared on her face as she concentrated on finding her pleasure. He desperately needed to thrust into her, to shove himself into her as deeply as he could, but he held back. There was no way he was going to ruin this for her. Tonight wasn’t for him.

  This was all for her. His sole objective was to show her how good it could be between them, to show her she could trust him to make things right for her. He clenched his teeth, keeping the urge to thrust deeply into her in check, even if it felt like it was going to kill him.

  Gradually he felt her muscles begin to tighten. Her thighs clamped down on his hips and he felt the tension climbing once again inside her. As she finally found what she was looking for, she whimpered.

  “That’s it,” he whispered, stroking her thighs and trying to ignore the painful ache in his balls. He was desperate come. “Just relax and do what feels good.”

  She must have found just the right angle because the languid pleasure on her face completely transformed her expression. She continued moving on him, right where she needed to be as she focused on that one spot.

  “Shane!” she gasped, as her thighs tensed on him.

  “I know,” he said, his voice low. “Let it happen.”

  She worked herself on him languidly, directing her body just where it needed to be. When her climax hit, she cried out loudly, her voice a high keening whimper.

  Her sex clamped down on his cock, and now it was his turn to gasp.

  “That’s it,” Shane said, his voice rough. And a heartbeat later, his cock erupted in a startling hot rush. His semen scorched his cock inside the latex, and he wished they didn’t need to use a condom. He wanted to fill her with his come and stroke himself mindlessly inside her hot, slippery channel.

  When her tremors ceased, she collapsed onto his chest, and his arms came around her, holding her close.

  “Beth,” he whispered against her temple. He kissed the side of her head and then nuzzled her hair. “Are you okay?”

  She murmured something unintelligible as she pressed her face into his throat.

  “I’ll take that as a ‘yes,’” he said, smiling into her hair.

  They lay like that for several long minutes, until she started shivering as the sweat on her skin began to dry in the night air.

  Shane gently coaxed her to disengage from his cock and lay beside him.

  He hated to leave her even for a moment, but he had to discard the condom. If it weren’t for the condom, they could have fallen asleep like this, joined together with Beth lying on him. “I’ll clean you up, and then maybe we can talk, all right?”

  Beth collapsed boneless on the bed and started to drift off to sleep. When Shane returned with a warm washcloth, he gently spread her thighs and wiped her clean.

  He sat down on the bed. “Beth?”

  She was still reveling in the residual tremors of her climax. “Hmm?”

  “Why didn’t you tell me you were a virgin?”

  When she didn’t respond, he said, “There was blood on the condom and on your thighs.”

  “It’s not a big deal,” she said.

  “It kinda is,” he said quietly.

  She opened her eyes. “Most of my friends lost their virginity in high school, and the rest of them lost it in college.”

  “And you didn’t. Beth, being a virgin is nothing to be ashamed of, you know,” he said. “I just wish you’d told
me.”

  “Would it have made a difference?” she said.

  “Yes. I would’ve been a hell of a lot more careful.”

  She yawned. “You were careful. Wonderfully careful. Can we go to sleep now? I’m so wiped.”

  He laughed. “Yes.”

  “Thank you,” she said, once he had finished bathing her.

  Shane discarded the wet washcloth in the bathroom, then crawled into bed beside Beth. He drew the sheet and comforter over them and tucked himself up against her back, wrapping his arm loosely around her waist. When she nestled her bottom against his loins, he felt his cock twitch.

  He lay there listening to Beth’s gentle breaths, reeling from the fact that she’d been a virgin. In hindsight, it shouldn’t have surprised him. She’d told him that her previous attempts at intimacy hadn’t gone well. He’d assumed – incorrectly, obviously – she meant they hadn’t been good experiences for her – not that the experiences had never actually happened.

  He tried not to dwell on the fact that he’d just deflowered Tyler Jamison’s little sister. That wasn’t going to go over well when Tyler found out. Speaking of Tyler, now was as good a time as any to get her to start talking about Howard Kline.

  “Beth?”

  “Hmm?” She yawned.

  It looked like their talk would have to wait until morning. She was clearly down for the count. “Never mind, sweetheart,” he said, kissing the back of her head. “Go to sleep.”

  Chapter 19

  Beth may have fallen easily into a deep and restful sleep, but Shane lay wide awake, unable to switch off his brain. He was in serious trouble here. Not only had he fallen for Beth, hard, but he was deceiving her, and that didn’t sit well. He had to tell her the truth soon, but he’d wanted to build some level of trust with her before he confessed that he knew a hell of a lot more about her past than she realized.

  He tightened his arm around her, drawing her close, struck by how strong his feelings had become so quickly. It wasn’t just the sex – although her tentative innocence had most definitely blown his mind. Watching her ride him had been exciting as hell. She couldn’t have faked her reaction to sex if she tried – everything she’d felt as they’d made love had been right there on her lovely face. Even with her lack of experience, she was the most naturally sensuous woman he’d ever been with. And they’d barely just scratched the surface. When he thought about all the things he could show her – teach her – about sex, he got hard again.