“We’re on our way,” Miguel said, and then he ended the call.
* * *
“Don’t blame Shane,” Miguel said. “He wanted to tell you everything from the beginning, but Tyler refused. If you want to blame someone, blame your brother.”
Beth glanced at Miguel, then turned her gaze forward. It was all she could do at the moment to maintain her composure. She wanted to scream. She wanted to cry. But she wouldn’t do either in front of a stranger.
She felt sick when she recalled what she and Shane had done together in his bed just two nights before, after the hospital fundraiser. She’d given him everything. She’d put herself out there, risked everything, despite her fears and made herself vulnerable to him in ways she’d never done with anyone. She’d exposed her deepest self to him, her deepest fears, and her deepest needs. And now she felt utterly betrayed.
And now it was all crashing down around her. Their time together had all been a lie. The knowledge that he’d just been using her was like acid, burning a hole in her gut. She felt sick, hollowed out.
On top of all this was also a gut-wrenching sense of betrayal by Tyler. How could he have kept Howard Kline’s parole from her? It was her life! She had a right to know that Kline was a free man. She knew her brother was controlling, and that he wanted to protect her, but this was going too far!
And then there was Kline to think about, but Beth couldn’t even allow herself to go there yet, to even contemplate him being free. To think about Kline would require reliving the horror that had spawned her nightmares, and she could not do that right now.
Beth paid hardly any attention to where they were until they arrived at the brick-and-glass office building. She looked up at the words THE MCINTYRE BUILDING engraved in stone over the front doors and remembered the last time she’d been here.
Miguel pulled into the building’s underground parking garage and parked the Mustang near a bank of elevators in a slot marked Reserved. He slipped a chunky, black handgun into a holster strapped to his chest, and then pulled on a black leather jacket before getting out of the car. Beth got out and followed him to the elevators.
“Did your roommate tell you?” Miguel asked her as they rode up in the elevator car.
“Yes,” Beth said. The admission burned. It hurt Beth that her brother had confided in Gabrielle, while keeping her in the dark. This was her life they were talking about, it was her business, and yet she’d been intentionally kept in the dark. It seemed like everyone she cared about had deceived her.
Miguel made a sound of disapproval right before the elevators opened. “After you,” he said, as he held the door for her and motioned her through.
Beth followed Miguel through a set of double glass doors. Inside was a reception desk, where a woman with white hair and soft blue eyes sat. The nameplate on her desk said Diane Hughes.
“Good morning, Miss Jamison,” the woman said cheerfully, the corners of her eyes crinkling as she smiled warmly at Beth. Then Mrs. Hughes looked at Miguel and said, “Go on in, honey. He’s expecting you.”
Miguel walked up to a closed wooden door and rapped sharply once, then pushed it open wide and held it for Beth. Miguel followed her in and closed the door behind them.
Beth walked into a spacious, sunlit corner office with breathtaking views of downtown Chicago and came to an abrupt stop when she saw Shane seated behind a large desk. She glanced around the room, taking in the sleek furnishings, shaking her head in bewilderment. This was a Shane she didn’t know. This was the corporate CEO who sat up in this office and managed the lives of thousands of employees. She really didn’t know much about the man she’d let into her life – into her body, did she?
She’d taken a risk and shared her heart with him. She’d let him inside, so deep inside, and she realized he’d shared only a small sliver of himself with her. What else had he kept from her?
Shane rose from his chair and came around the desk. “I can explain, Beth,” he said, his wary gaze locked on her.
Beth swallowed hard, nearly choking on the lump in her throat. She’d tried so hard on the way over to keep it together, but seeing him here in this unfamiliar setting was unsettling. He seemed much more a stranger to her now and less like her patient, teasing lover.
To her utter shame, her eyes filled with tears. She glared at him, her eyes accusing. “You lied to me,” she said, her voice breaking on a sob.
“No, sweetheart,” Shane said, his expression pained as he came forward and laid his hands on her shoulders.
She twisted away from him. “Don’t call me that!”
Shane winced, and a flare of regret crossed his face. “I’m sorry, Beth. I should have told you before now. I wanted to, but the time never seemed right. You weren’t ready to hear it. But that’s no excuse. I know that.”
Beth took a step back, wrapping her arms around herself. She looked at him through a blur of tears, her throat so tight it hurt to speak. “Gabrielle told me Tyler hired you,” she said hoarsely. She took a shaky breath, trying to maintain control. “You lied to me, Shane.”
“I didn’t lie to you, Beth,” he said, parsing his words carefully. “I withheld information, yes. I admit that. But it was for your own safety. I had every intention of telling you when the time was right, but I never lied to you. If you believe anything, believe that.”
“I don’t know what to believe anymore!” The world was falling in on her from all sides, crushing her with its weight. When she looked at Shane, she saw a stranger, and the loss of the Shane she’d known – her Shane – was devastating.
Shane watched the myriad emotions flit cross her face – none of them good – and felt his own anxiety spike. “Sweetheart,” he said as he reached for her.
“I told you not to call me that!” She stepped farther out of his reach.
Shane ran his fingers through his hair, fighting the urge to follow her. The farther she moved away from him, the more desperate he was to reel her back in. “Please don’t pull away from me, Beth. Talk to me. Let me explain.”
Her chest grew painfully tight, and each breath became a struggle. She shook her head, feeling light headed. “Our meeting at Clancy’s wasn’t an accident, was it?”
He shook his head, his expression remorseful. “No.”
“You were there because of me.”
“Yes.”
“You were working. It was just a job for you.”
He grimaced. “I was filling in that night for one of your bodyguards, yes. But it was never just a job for me. It stopped being a job the minute I laid eyes on you.”
She stared at him like he was a complete stranger.
“Beth, please,” he said, taking a few steps in her direction.
“I defended you to Gabrielle! I told her you’d never do something like this to me. I told her she was crazy! But she wasn’t, was she?” The blood drained from her face, leaving her feeling chilled. “Oh, God,” she said, squeezing her eyes shut. Her arms tightened on her abdomen, as if she could hold herself physically together while her insides felt like they were coming apart.
“I trusted you!” she cried, sobbing now. Her breaths came as rapid, shallow pants, and she felt light headed. Her vision started to dim.
Shane caught her as her knees buckled.
Chapter 35
Shane carried Beth to a closed door. Miguel beat him to it and opened the door.
“Where are... we... going?” Beth said, struggling to get the words out.
Shane carried her through the door into ... an apartment? He laid her down on a brown sofa and tucked a small sofa pillow under her head. Then he pulled off her sandals and dropped them on the floor.
She looked around the small, tastefully decorated suite. Besides the sofa, there were two upholstered armchairs, a coffee table, and a large, flat screen television. Across the room was a small galley kitchen and a dining area with a table and four chairs. Through an open doorway, she caught a glimpse of a large bed.
“Just br
eathe, Beth,” Shane said, as he sat down beside her. He brushed the hair from her face with gentle hands. “Try to relax.”
Beth closed her eyes against the dizziness and tried to reign in the panic, but her mind was like a runaway train careening out of control. She tried to block it all out, and still the tears came. When she felt a light touch on her wet cheeks, she opened her eyes to see him dabbing gently at her tears with a tissue.
“I wanted to tell you from the beginning,” he said in a quiet voice. “Tyler was adamant against telling you, but that’s no excuse.”
He looked her in the eye, and she was struck by the bleakness she saw there.
“But to be completely honest,” he said, his fist crushing the damp tissue, “I was afraid to tell you.”
She couldn’t imagine Shane ever being afraid of anything. “Afraid of what?”
“Of this. Of your reaction. I was afraid you’d run.”
She made a pained sound, squeezing her eyes shut. “It was just a job for you.”
Shane shook his head. “No. It stopped being a job the minute I laid eyes on you. I took one look at you, Beth, and knew I wanted you. It was never a job after that. I was biding my time, waiting for the right moment to tell you.”
She remembered her giddiness at seeing him that second time at Clancy’s, and the memory made her feel sick. How could she have been so damn gullible?
She started shaking, and Shane grabbed the brown fleece blanket that lay along the back of the sofa and covered her.
“I know this is a shock,” Shane said, stroking her hair. “Jesus, I’m sorry, baby. The last thing I wanted to do was hurt you.”
“I need to go,” Beth said, shoving the blanket aside and struggling to sit up. She felt far too vulnerable grieving here in front of him, feeling pieces of herself being ripped away. She needed to put as much space between them as she could... to be alone, so she could grieve in peace.
“You’re not going anywhere right now,” Shane said, gently pushing her back down.
“I’m supposed to be at work. Mary will be wondering where I am,” she said, as if he hadn’t said a word.
Shane pulled out his cell phone and pressed a button. “Diane, call Mary Reynolds and tell her Beth will be late to work.”
“She doesn’t know where I work,” Beth said, eyeing Shane suspiciously when he ended the call.
“It’s our business to know things, Beth. Diane will figure it out,” he said.
“I really do need to leave,” she said, sitting up and swinging her legs to the floor. She grabbed her sandals and slipped them on.
“You’re not leaving, Beth. We need to talk.”
“There’s nothing to talk about.”
“The hell there isn’t!” He took a deep, steadying breath. “We need to talk, not just about us, but also about Howard Kline.”
Beth’s face blanched at the mention of Kline’s name.
Shane leaned back in the sofa and drew her close. “Please don’t worry about Kline,” he said. “I have people watching him around the clock. He can’t take one step in your direction without my knowledge. If he makes a move, I have people in place to intercept him before he gets anywhere near you. I swear to you, Beth, Kline won’t get within a mile of you.”
“How did he even get out of prison?” she said. “He was supposed to serve 30 years. It’s only been... what... eighteen years.”
Shane shrugged. “I’ve never claimed to understand how the parole board works. The bottom line is they approved him for parole, and he’s out.”
Beth shuddered, and Shane tightened his hold.
“He can’t get to you, sweetheart,” he said, kissing her temple. “I won’t let him, I swear to you.”
“I woke up this morning on top of the world, and now in less than a couple of hours, everything has crashed and burned.”
“No, it hasn’t,” Shane said. “Granted, you didn’t know about Kline, and I know that’s a huge shock. But nothing else has changed. We just spent an amazing weekend together – damn it, you know how I feel about you. Nothing has changed.”
“Shane.” Now it was her turn to use that tone.
“Beth, please. You asked me not to let you run, and I’m going to keep my promise. I’m not letting you run.”
“This is different,” she said. “This isn’t running.”
“Bullshit! You run when you feel threatened. I’m not a threat to you, Beth. I love you.”
Her eyes widened at his declaration. “This morning I told Gabrielle I was falling in love with you,” she said. “That’s why she told me Tyler hired you.”
“Nothing between us has changed, Beth,” he said, turning to face her.
Shane leaned forward slowly, giving her plenty of time to pull away. She eyed him warily as he moved closer. Her eyes drifted shut when his mouth covered hers, his lips coaxing hers open. And then he was kissing her, his tongue making love to hers. She clutched at his shirt with trembling fingers.
His mouth lifted, hovering over hers. “The first time I saw you, I wanted you,” he admitted. “And the first time I had you, I knew you were mine.”
“Shane – ”
She was interrupted by a knock at the door.
“What is it?” Shane said.
Miguel opened the door. “Do you need me to stay?” he said.
“No, you can take off. Thanks, Miguel,” Shane said.
Miguel turned to leave.
“No, wait!” Beth said, and Miguel paused. “Would you mind giving me a ride back to my house? I need to get to work.”
Miguel looked to Shane.
“Beth – ” Shane said.
“I’m leaving,” Beth said, as she stood and put several feet between herself and Shane.
Shane glanced at Miguel and reluctantly nodded.
“I’d be happy to drive you to work,” Miguel told her.
“Thank you,” she said.
Shane glanced at Miguel. “Give us a minute,” he said tersely.
Miguel nodded, then stepped back into Shane’s office and shut the door behind him.
Shane turned to Beth. “Beth, please. I know you’re upset, and you have every right to be. But give me a chance. Be mad at me all you want. Yell and scream at me if you need to, but don’t shut me out.”
“I’m not mad at you,” she said in a calm voice.
His stomach clenched. She should have been railing at him, screaming at him. Instead, she was calm. Too calm. She had checked out already, he could sense it. She’d already made up her mind.
He felt a swift flare of anger that she would give up so quickly on what they had. “If you’re not mad at me, then what the fuck are you?” he said, his expression tight.
She flinched at his tone.
Shane knew her answer before she said the words.
“I’m not mad,” she said, her voice brittle. “I’m done.” She headed for the door and paused before opening it. “It was a mistake from the beginning,
she said. “I should have known better.”
Beth found Miguel waiting for her in Shane’s office. “I’m ready.”
Miguel glanced over Beth’s head at Shane, who stood silently behind her in the open doorway to the suite, his expression fierce.
Beth was numb as she followed Miguel on shaking legs. She just hoped she could make it out of the building before she collapsed. Right now, more than anything, she just wanted to curl up in a ball and give in to the agonizing pain in her chest.
They passed the desk of Shane’s executive assistant – Mrs. Hughes – whose bright, friendly smile faltered when she saw Beth’s stricken expression.
“Have a good day, Miss Jamison,” Mrs. Hughes said in a subdued voice.
The woman’s gaze bounced back and forth between Beth and Miguel, and Miguel give the woman a quick shake of his head.
The hallway leading to the elevators seemed interminably long, and Beth was quickly running out of steam. She was operating on sheer adrenalin now, in complete flig
ht mode, and she didn’t know how much longer she could keep it together. Her chest felt like it was being squeezed in a vise, and her throat was so tight it hurt to swallow.
When they passed a women’s restroom, Beth made a sudden detour and pushed her way through the door. Inside, the four stalls were empty. She was alone in the room.
She leaned shakily against the nearest wall, afraid she wouldn’t be able to stay upright much longer. Her heart thundered painfully, and the vise around her chest tightened to the point she could barely breathe.
As the realization of what she’d done hit her – oh, God, she’d left him – the pain overwhelmed her, and she slid down the wall to the cold tile floor. It came rushing at her, wave after wave of excruciating pain. Now that she was away from prying eyes, the tears flowed unchecked. There was no stopping the wracking sobs that took her over.
A draft of cool air against her overheated skin was the only indication she had that someone had come into the bathroom. And then he was there on the floor with her. Wordlessly, Shane gathered her up into his arms and settled her onto his lap. She pressed her wet face into the front of his shirt and sobbed.
Shane rocked her in his arms, his lips in her hair. “I’m sorry, Beth. I’m so sorry, baby.”
* * *
Beth was silent on the drive back to Hyde Park. She sat in the front seat of Miguel’s car, staring blindly out the passenger window at the passing scenery.
She’d left him. She’d left the man who’d held her on the bathroom floor as her heart broke into a million pieces. He hadn’t seemed to care that she ruined his shirt, soaking him through to the skin with her tears. He’d just held her, his lips in her hair, murmuring unintelligible words. When she’d finally cried herself out and climbed awkwardly to her feet, she noticed that his eyes were wet, too. She wouldn’t let herself even think about that – about what he might be feeling. She couldn’t.
Without a word to Shane, she’d wiped her face and nose on a tissue, then walked out of the restroom to find Miguel and Mrs. Hughes waiting apprehensively in the hallway.
Vulnerable: (McIntyre Security Bodyguard Series - Book 1) Page 31