Kiss a Frog (The Book Club Series 1)

by Jade, Scarlett

  He crawled on the bed, and Lily opened her legs. As he nestled himself between them, Lily closed her eyes and sent up a silent thank you. Yes! She was soaked, and he slid inside effortlessly. His hips thrust slowly, moving in a figure eight. His lips encircled her nipple, and Lily cried out in pleasure. “Yes!”

  His hand skimmed along her leg, and he paused for a moment to pull it up over his shoulder. Lily gasped as she found both of her legs up over his shoulders. His slow, swiveling assault on her nether bits resumed, and Lily gripped the comforter.

  “Touch your clit,” he demanded, his voice rough.

  Lily moved to slide a finger between her lips, and she was lost in pleasure as she circled her clit, and he mimicked the motion with his dick driving into her. Heat built deep in her core and before she could react, her first orgasm overtook her. Her thighs quivered, and she rolled her head to the side as she cried out. Her finger withdrew from her heat and her arm flopped limply over the edge of the bed.

  She screamed as a wet, sloppy tongue suddenly began licking at her fingers. “Ew! No! Go away!” Parker stared at her with big brown eyes and wagged his tail.

  Charlie paused and pointed at the hallway. “Parker, go!”

  Lily wiped her slobber covered fingers on the comforter and grimaced. “Gross.”

  “Sorry, I should’ve closed the door. Are we okay?”

  Lily soughed and finally nodded. “We’re okay.”

  He moved faster now, and she soon found her pleasure building again. She was completely lost in the moment, his dick was hitting the most perfect spot, and she was sure she was going to come again. Her breath came fast and she arched up off the bed as the waves of desire threatened to overtake her. The bed shifted, and she paid no attention to it, realizing that Charlie was changing position. It still felt amazing, and she was about to come.

  In the moment right before orgasm, suddenly Charlie was gone. Her eyes flicked open, and she saw Charlie standing with a horrific look on his face a few steps back from the bed.

  “What’s wrong?” she moaned, irritation setting in as her orgasm faded away.

  “He jumped up on the bed, and I was trying to push him off…then…he licked…my balls and tried to hump me,” Charlie whispered, his eyes huge in his face.

  Laughter bubbled up from between her lips, and she stared at him as though he’d grown two heads. “Wh-at?” she spluttered out finally.

  “Parker. I was banging you and things were great, then I suddenly felt wetness on my balls!” Charlie hissed.

  “You felt wetness on your balls? Hey, you said you liked surprises!” Lily reiterated, her giggles becoming louder.

  “It’s not funny! Then he tried to jump up on me and violate me!” Charlie insisted.

  “Oh my God,” Lily squealed in the midst of her laughter. “You got your balls blown by your dog. Maybe he thought it was a new toy? You know, maybe he just wanted in on the action, Charlie.”

  “It isn’t funny!” Charlie roared, his face turning scarlet. “I think you should go!” He rushed out of the room, and Lily laughed harder as she heard another door close. I guess he went to wash the dog slobber off his junk. Parker sat in the doorway, his tail wagging.

  “You’re horrible!” Lily snickered, sliding off the bed to find her clothing. Looks like I’ll be calling another cab… She sighed as she looked around. As good as the sex was, she’d probably never see Charlie again and it sort of made her sad.

  She dressed quickly and patted the dog on the head. “See ya, Parker. Next time your daddy brings someone home, I bet he closes the door.” Her laughter bubbled up again, and she clamped a hand over her mouth to stifle it. After she pulled on her things at the door, she opened it and stepped outside.

  She opened her purse and pulled out her phone. There were two calls from Abby, and she decided to call her friend to come pick her up instead of wasting money on a cab. “Hey, Abs,” she started, her giggles effervescing up again.

  “Hey! We missed you this morning.”

  “Oh, I left early, I had a date.” Lily laughed harder.

  “What are you laughing for? I was worried!”

  “Not laughing at you, I promise. Can you come pick me up and I’ll tell you all about it?” Lily pleaded.

  “I guess so.” Abby sighed. “Where are you?”

  Lily glanced at the mailbox. “Nine twenty-two, Olive Street. I’ll be outside.”

  “Okay, I’ll be there soon.”

  Lily leaned against the slick red Harley and rubbed her hand on the glossy paint as she hung up the phone. I’ll never ride you again, she thought sadly. And what a jerk, he couldn’t even offer me a ride home. I mean, I wouldn’t have laughed at him…much. She snickered again. Okay, it was pretty funny.

  Abby’s car came rolling down the street a few minutes later, and she came to a squeaking stop. Her window came down. “Hey, get in.”

  Lily grinned at her friend and hurried around to the passenger door. “Thanks for coming to get me.”

  “Sure. So why didn’t this guy bring you home? I mean, you’ve obviously been having sex, your hair is standing on end, and you look all pleasured and junk.”

  Lily giggled again and as they drove through town, she explained to Abby what had occurred. “And then, his dog licked his balls and tried to hump him!” She finished.

  Abby beat the steering wheel with her hand as she guffawed, tears filling her eyes from her mirth. “Oh my God! That’s disgusting!”

  “He was all, my dog violated me!” Lily spluttered.

  “Oh God. You really should stop meeting dudes off dating sites.” Abby advised as she wiped at her eyes.

  “I know. They really aren’t the pick of the litter, but it’s kind of fun.” Lily shrugged and looked out the window as they drove. “Hey, take me to my car, will ya?”

  “You got it.”

  Chapter Six

  Emergency Book Club Meeting

  Lily hadn’t read one page in that book yet, and she had no immediate plans to. She was planning to bullshit through the book club meeting next month, and she already had a great book lined up to suggest they read. She figured she didn’t have a thing in the world to worry about. They weren’t meeting for three more weeks anyway. She had time.

  When Abby sent her a 911 text message two days after her last failed date, Lily thought about ignoring it. Then there was a second text.

  A: Emergency Book Club meeting. I will buy you coffee and a muffin. Come to the coffee shop.

  Lily tossed the phone to the end of the bed and groaned. Dammit, you know my weakness, you whore. She was exhausted. It had been a very, very long day at work, it seemed like everyone and their mother was hell bent on tearing up the store. She was already in her pajamas and wanted nothing more than to sleep. But the lure of a coffee and muffin was too much to resist.

  I can sort of pretend I’ve been reading it, right? What is with this whole 911 business anyway? Abby really needs to get a grip. People have to work and they’re tired, you know. There better be coffee and a muffin, or I’m gonna be sooooo pissed.

  Grumbling as she swung her legs over the bed, she stripped off her pajamas and pulled on yoga pants, her bra, and a long sleeve shirt. The days were warming up in Boston, but the nights were still chilly. She pulled her long hair up into a ponytail and checked to make sure she didn’t have cheesy puff dust in the corners of her mouth.

  She’d been watching her favorite vampire show on TV and snacking, but now she was on her way halfway across town to the coffee shop she’d literally shown her ass in a week before. Snatching up her purse, she slipped on her sneakers and hurried out the door. As she unlocked the door of her car, she sent Abby a text message back.

  L: There better be a large caramel mocha frapp waiting on me. And a blueberry muffin, or there will be hell to pay.

  She slid in behind the wheel and started the car, buckling in as she pulled out into the street. Weaving through the traffic, she muttered the whole drive. It was mostly snippets
of cuss words and bitching about being tired. As she finally found a spot within two blocks of the coffee shop, she parallel parked and shut off the engine before stepping out onto the dusky street.

  Lowering her head, she rushed down the sidewalk to the coffee shop, the familiar scent of roasting beans soothing to her as she opened the door. Anxiety pulsed through her as she scanned the shop. Relief soon followed as she realized Jackson wasn’t working, and the man she’d puked on wasn’t somehow here at the exact same time she was.

  Laura and Abby sat at a table in the corner, and she struck out in their direction, a grin on her face as she saw a muffin and coffee sitting before her seat.

  “Yes!” She gasped out as she sat down.

  “Well, hello to you too.” Laura huffed.

  Lily held up her hand and sucked down a few draughts of her Frappuccino. “You may speak now,” she groaned in pleasure.

  “You’re such a freakin’ coffee addict!” Abby laughed.

  “Yes, yes, I am,” Lily agreed as she slurped more of the sweet concoction. “Why are we here?”

  “Because. There are three weeks before your thirtieth birthday, Lily, and you’re two strikes into the game. There’s only one more strike and it’s over.” Laura explained.

  “This isn’t baseball.” Lily snorted. “And furthermore, I have had fun the last two dates. Well, okay, only one was a date, the other was just sex. It would’ve been perfectly fine if he hadn’t gone all come for daddy on me.” She tore off the edge of her muffin and popped it in her mouth.

  “You need a man like Christian,” Abby dreamily murmured. “Broken, hard, beautiful,”

  “Who’s Christian?” Lily asked as she ate, not realizing she gave her lack of reading away by asking.

  “I told you she hadn’t read it!” Laura crowed.

  “Why haven’t you read this month’s book yet?” Abby demanded, her eyes flashing in anger.

  “It’s not my style. You guys know I’d rather have a good historical.” Lily shrugged as she popped more muffin in her mouth. Once the sugar crusted top of the baked good was gone, she no longer desired it, and she pushed the plate to the middle of the table.

  “Lil-eeeeeee!” Abby groaned in disgust. “This is supposed to be changing our lives.”

  “Fine, I’ll read like the Cliff Notes version. Then next month can we please go back to decent books?”

  “These are good books, Lily! I don’t see anything you’ve written being up on the New York Times Bestseller lists.”

  “True, my high school paper on John Adams doesn’t really qualify as riveting literature,” Lily admitted, slurping more of her drink. “You two read it and tell me about it.”

  “Oh my God! You’re going to die a spinster if you don’t make some changes in your life!” Abby moaned, throwing her hands in the air in irritation.

  “What’s wrong with that? I’m not just going to settle for some guy who lives in his mom’s basement or a douche just to have someone to sleep with at night. Charlie made me pay for dinner, and Harlow, well, Harlow was a bit too much crazy for my vanilla. Hey, my co-worker is trying to set me up with her brother.”

  “A blind date? When?” Abby pounced on the news like a cat pouncing on a toy.

  Laura followed suit, her brown eyes going wide. “Yeah, when?”

  “This weekend sometime. Olivia didn’t work today, I’ll find out tomorrow.” Lily shrugged it off. It’s just a blind date. Good God.

  “You have to look hot, Lily. None of this sloppy yoga pants and messy hair business. You have to look like a hot commodity, not a bargain bin reject.” Abby insisted, tossing back her silky blonde hair as she spoke.

  Lily closed her eyes for a moment as her foot twitched inside her shoe. Schwing! A cocky smirk crossed her lips as she thought about Abby rolling around on the slightly sticky tile floor, holding her muff. Bargain bin reject that!

  “Do you hear me, Lily?” Abby shrieked, garnering attention from all the patrons of the shop.

  Lily stuck her finger in her ear. “I’m pretty sure whales in the deepest depths of the ocean heard you,” she snapped back. “You guys are taking this too far.”

  “Lily, don’t you want to be married, have kids?” Laura asked.

  “Sure, one day.” Lily sipped her Frappuccino.

  “Well, honey, one day is going to pass you by real quickly if you don’t jump on the pony and ride,” Abby snarled. “Your clock is tick, tick, ticking!” Abby punctuated her point with stomping each time she said tick.

  “Why in God’s name are you so freaking worried about me getting married?”

  “Because, you’re the oldest, and it’s not like you exactly have a great life going for you. Hi, I’m Lily and I fold shirts for a living.” Abby laughed. “You have done nothing with your life. You didn’t go to college, your job sucks, and I’m determined to make sure that you actually find a boyfriend.”

  Lily gasped as Abby’s callous barb dug deep into her heart. “I see,” she mumbled as she stood from her chair.

  “Where are you going? Sit down so we can figure this out. We only have a precious amount of time, and you have to meet someone.”

  “You know,” Lily started, slinging her purse over her shoulder, “my life might not be as ‘awesome’ as yours is, but I’m fairly happy with it. At least I thought I was until right now. Sorry I’m such a disappointment to the two of you. I won’t make you stay in the presence of someone with such a shitty life. See you round. Maybe.”

  Tears filled her eyes and threatened to course down her cheeks as she threw open the door of the coffee shop and hurried out into the night. By the time she reached her car, she was a sobbing mess. Snot bubbled out of her nose, and she could barely see to drive, but somehow, she made it home.

  I’ve always felt like they were better than me, and now I know they feel the same way. Well, screw them. I don’t need them. I can manage just fine on my own. I’m going to find a great guy. No Christian, no Harlow, no Charlie. I’m going to find a real guy, one who thinks I’m awesome, and maybe while I’m at it, I’ll find new friends who don’t think I’m a reject. Yeah, that’s exactly what I’m gonna do. And now I can read alllll the romances I want to, without their input. So what that I find knights and lords sexy. I want a guy like that. Gallant and wonderful, muscular and kilt-wearing perhaps. I want a man’s man. I want a sweeping, beautiful romance with a little danger and a whole lot of sex. Not the shit I’ve been running into.

  Lily slammed the door of her apartment and wiped fiercely at her eyes. It’s time for a new Lily. No one is going to say my life sucks anymore. I’ll prove them wrong. All of them. How dare she say I’m a bargain bin reject? Yes, I do get my clothes from the clearance rack at work, so what? They’re perfectly good clothes. Okay, maybe they aren’t this year’s fashions anymore, but who gives a crap? So I didn’t go to college? I had fun. I got to see the world. What have they done? Worked like two dogs, with their noses to the grindstone and they’re stuck-up twits. I’m at least freakin’ fun!

  She stomped upstairs and flopped back on her bed. Yes, I would love to be making more money, I’d love to have a newer car, but at the price of being a bitch? No. Tomorrow, I’m going to march right into the boss’s office and ask for a raise. I’m ready to be a manager. Then I’m going to go on this date with Olivia’s brother, and if it doesn’t work out, I’ll meet someone else. It’s not like I’m dead for Pete’s sakes. I have time. I’m only almost thirty. They need to just read their stupid book and leave me alone. Abby went too far tonight, and she can kick rocks with no socks for all I care!

  Tearing open the bag of cheese puffs, she jammed one in her mouth and chewed violently. I’m going to prove them all wrong. When I blow out my birthday candles, my life will be different, and I don’t need a damn book to make it that way. Three weeks until my birthday. It’s time for my life to change.

  Chapter Seven

  Lily’s Getting Into a Groove

  The next morning Lily woke bright
and early, ready to take on the world. Anger pulsed through her veins as she showered and dressed. Her phone had been incessantly buzzing all night long, and she ignored each and every text message from Tweedledee and Tweedledum. She had nothing to say. They made their feelings perfectly clear, and she didn’t want friends like that.

  She dressed nicely, pulling out her pencil skirt that had caused so much trouble at the coffee shop, and a pale green button down shirt. Flats completed the look, and she even put on a bit of makeup. Today she was going to ask for a raise, and she figured her chances would be better the nicer she looked.

  Finally ready for the day, she gathered her purse, her smock, and her keys up before leaving the apartment. Lily held her head high as she walked out to her car and started it. Pulling into the thickening traffic, she turned on the radio, bopping her head to the funky eighties tunes streaming from her speakers.

  Parking in a spot at the mall, she took a slow breath as she cut the engine and stepped from the car. Smoothing down her pencil skirt, she focused on her goal and began walking to the front door. Opening it and stepping inside, she continued to the store. Olivia was already there, she had opened, and Lily nodded at her as she ambled into the store.

  “Morning, Olivia,” she muttered crisply.

  “Morning! You look nice today.” The younger girl grinned brightly, and Lily grinned back.

  “Thanks. I’m going to talk to Paul this morning.”

  Olivia squealed softly. “Good luck.”

  Lily winked as she went into the back of the store. “Thanks, sweetie.”

  “Oh, my brother says he’ll take you out on Friday!” Olivia said as she moved into the back of the store. Lily ignored her, figuring she’d catch her later in the day.