Shank's Mare

by Ikku Jippensha

  'This is getting serious,' said Kita. 'Here, Yaji, Yaji.'

  Yaji, who had been listening for some time convulsed with laughter, at this appeal came into the room.

  'Sorry he's given you so much trouble,' he said. 'I'll guarantee his respectability. Please excuse him. As for the broken nose of the Jizō, I'll hold myself responsible for that and see that it's made good.'

  Thus Yaji went on uttering all sorts of excuses and apologies until the landlord was fain to accept them, especially as he himself was of the opinion that they were respectable characters. Thus the dispute was settled and they all went to bed again, though it was not long before the cocks were crowing in the dawn and the horses were whinnying in front of the inn.

  Aroused by these noises, Yaji and Kita got up, had their breakfasts and started off again.

  After they had passed Hamada and were approaching Akaori, they came upon a crowd of men and women gathered in groups on the road. They stopped to see what it was, and Yaji accosted an old man.

  'Excuse me,' he said. 'Can you tell me what's the matter?'

  'Wait and see,' said the old man.

  ' 'Taint a fight, is it?' asked Kita.

  'No, no,' said the old man. 'Takoyaku of the Tengai Temple is making a public progress to Kuwana and will pass this way.'

  'Aha! I see,' said Yaji. 'He's coming now.'

  Along the road came a procession of villagers, with a banner carried in front of them on which the name of the village was inscribed. They were all chanting, 'Namada! Namada! Namada!'

  'They don't boil their octupuses here evidently,' said Kita. 'They eat them raw.'

  'Look at the face of that chap carrying the banner,' said Yaji. 'He doesn't look as if he had much sense.'

  'Make your offerings. Make your offerings,' called the leader of the procession. 'This is the holy Takoyaku of the Tengai Temple, who came up from the sea and appeared in the middle of a potato field. Believers are required to make offerings of any amount they think fit. Come, who'll make an offering?'

  'I had three platefuls of him this morning,' said Kita.

  'Look, he's come,' said Yaji.

  The sacred box containing the god here appeared. It was carried on the shoulders of a number of men, and after it came the priests of the Tengai Temple riding in palanquins, at the sight of whom all the old women and wives in the crowd began to cry out for a prayer.

  'A prayer, a prayer,' called an acolyte, whereupon the bearers set down the palanquins and opened the doors for the priests to come out. These proved to be fat men, with faces as red as boiled octopuses, all heavily pock-marked.

  Immediately the priests got out they all began very earnestly to recite the prayer, 'Namuami! Namuami! Namuami!' whereupon the crowd repeated 'Namuami! Namuami! Namuami!' Then the priests repeated it again still more loudly, 'Namuami! Namuami! Namuami!' and the crowd imitated them, 'Namuami! Namuami! Namuami!' Then at the end of the prayer something tickled the noses of the priests and they all sneezed simultaneously, 'Akishu!' Then all the people, thinking this was a part of the prayer, also sneezed in chorus, 'Akishu!' Then the priests in a low voice said, 'Botheration!' and all the people said 'Botheration!' after them.

  'That's a funny prayer,' said Yaji. 'Seems as if the priests wanted to go to Heaven by sneezing.'

  After this the procession formed again and the leaders took up their chant of 'Namada! Namada!'

  Continuing their journey the two travellers soon arrived at Oiwaké, which is famous for its cakes.

  'Try our hot cakes,' called the girls at the teahouses. 'Come in and rest. Try our rice-cake stew.'

  'That girl to the right is not bad-looking,' said Kita.

  'Quite attractive,' said Yaji.

  They went in and sat down. 'Will you have some tea?' asked the maid.

  'Yes, and we'll try some of your cakes,' said Yaji. The maid went away and soon came back with a tray. There was another traveller sitting in the teahouse, a man who was apparently a pilgrim to the Kompira shrines. He was wearing a short white coat over a heavy, wadded garment.

  'Let's have some more cakes,' said Yaji. 'I feel as if I could eat them for ever.'

  'That's only your talk,' said Kita.

  'You gentlemen are from Edo, I suppose,' said the pilgrim, who was eating rice-cake broth.

  'Yes,' said Kita.

  'Ah!' said the pilgrim, 'When I was in Edo I ate twentyeight cakes at the Torikai of Izumi. Very extraordinary!'

  'The Torikai?' said Yaji. 'Why, that's quite close to my place. We used to eat fifty or sixty every day for tea.'

  'You must have been remarkably fond of them,' said the pilgrim. 'I myself am fond of rice-cakes. As you see I have eaten five platefuls of this rice-cake broth without choking myself.'

  'I've eaten fourteen or fifteen of these cakes,' said Yaji, 'and you see I'm still alive. Indeed, I feel as if I hadn't had enough.'

  'They're so sickly,' said the pilgrim, 'I don't suppose you could eat any more. Fourteen or fifteen must be about all you can eat.'

  'Oh no,' said Yaji. 'I could easily eat some more.'

  'You only say that,' said the pilgrim. 'You know you couldn't eat any more.'

  'Couldn't eat any more,' cried Yaji. 'If it wasn't that I didn't want to waste my money I'd eat a lot more. If anybody likes to feed me I'll go on eating with pleasure.'

  'How interesting!' said the pilgrim. 'I hope you won't mind my offering to pay for those if you eat them.'

  'Of course I can,' said Yaji.

  'It will be your loss if you fail,' said the pilgrim.

  'Of course, of course,' said Yaji. He began to eat with great confidence and got through ten of them. Then he began to feel uneasy, but nevertheless he was not going to let himself be beaten by the pilgrim, and he forced himself to eat the remainder.

  'Wonderful! Wonderful!' said the pilgrim. 'I could never do that.'

  'Have a try,' said Yaji. 'I could eat any amount of these small ones.'

  'I don't think I could really,' said the pilgrim. 'But still I don't like to give in. I'll eat ten of them just to see.'

  'What, only ten?' said Yaji. 'Eat twenty. Look here, if you eat them all up and don't leave one, in return I'll pay for the cakes and contribute a hundred coppers towards your expenses.'

  'Thank you,' said the pilgrim. 'I'll trust in heaven and have a try.'

  He seemed rather afraid to begin, but at last he started and munched steadily through ten of them. He made a wry face over the remaining ten, but finally managed to eat them all up.

  Yaji was astonished. 'Wonderful, wonderful!' he said.

  'As we agreed,' said the pilgrim, 'may I ask you to pay for the cakes and to make an offering of a hundred coppers?'

  'All right,' said Yaji, 'but it's so wonderful that if you eat twenty more I'll contribute three hundred coppers, but if you fail you must give me two hundred coppers. How's that?'

  'Fine, fine!' said the pilgrim. 'I'll try even if I burst myself.'

  'We'll put up the cash,' said Yaji. 'Just put up two hundred coppers.'

  He hi mself put out three hundred coppers, thinking that he would get back the hundred coppers that he had lost and interest on it into the bargain. He'll never be able to eat twenty more, he thought as he ordered the cakes. But this time the pilgrim, without any demur, gulped down the twenty cakes very quickly, and pocketed the three hundred coppers.

  'Thank you very much,' said the pilgrim. 'Just pay for the cakes as well, will you? I didn't think I should have such a feast. Ha-ha-ha! Don't disturb yourselves for me,' and he slung his bag on his back and went off without even troubling to look behind him. Yaji was dumbfounded.

  'That's a good 'un,' laughed Kita. 'I thought it would turn out like that.'

  'It's just my luck,' groaned Yaji. 'I thought I should get that hundred coppers back, but instead of that I've lost some more. What a nuisance!'

  Just then a kago came along. 'Won't your honour take a ride?' asked the carriers.

  'I'm not worrying about a kago,
' said Yaji. 'I'm worrying about the three hundred coppers I lost seeing who could eat most cakes.'

  'Aha, that would be the pilgrim we passed just now,' said one of the carriers. 'That fellow's always up to those tricks. He's Kamashichi of Ōtsu, a well known juggler. The other day he had a try who could eat most rice-cakes and made out he'd eaten seventy-eight. He gets people to bet that he can't eat so many cakes and then pretends to eat a lot, but all the time he's putting them up his sleeve. You honour's been tricked. Ha-ha-ha!'

  While they were talking two boys on their way to Isé came to the door with three or four cakes in their hands.

  'Master,' they cried, 'we've run away to go on pilgrimage. Won't you give us something to help us along the road?'

  'Where did you get those cakes, boys?' asked Kita.

  'A pilgrim gave them to us out of his sleeve,' said one of the boys.

  'Then he only pretended to eat them and cheated me,' cried Yaji. 'I'll run after him and give him a beating.'

  'Let him be,' said Kita. 'We're on a pilgrimage ourselves so we must be careful what we do. It was all our own stupidity. Ha-ha-ha.'

  'That's all right,' said Yaji, 'but ain't it enough to make your blood boil.'

  'It's because you treated me so badly last night,' said Kita. 'It's a punishment on you.'

  'It's nothing to laugh about, ' said Yaji. 'Here, miss, how much are the cakes?'

  'It will be two hundred and thirty-three coppers altogether, your honour, ' said the girl.

  Yaji paid the money grumbling.

  'Just to change your luck, your honour, ' said the kago carrier, 'we'll carry you cheap. '

  'No, no, ' said Yaji.

  'Just for drink money,' persisted the carrier.

  'Do you drink sake?' asked Yaji.

  'Yes, your honour, ' said the carrier. 'We're very fond of sake. Won't your honour treat us?'

  'No, no, ' said Yaji. 'Do you think I'm going to waste more money on saké? Not I. Come on Kita. Let's get on. '

  SECOND PART

  HEY turned off along the road to Isé, where it separates from the road to Kyōto, and leaving the town on the left they plodded along the moorland road. Soon they came in sight of a man sitting sideways on a farm horse and singing in a shrill voice: —

  She is so hot,

  He who aspires

  To sleep with her

  No clothes requires.

  'See how Ml get that man off his horse,' said Yaji. He pulled his dirk out until it stuck a long way out of the scabbard, and then drew his waterproof over his arm so that it appeared as if he was carrying a long sword. When the man came up to him he got off his horse.

  'How's that?' asked Yaji triumphantly.

  Then came a postboy, also riding sideways and singing:—

  I'll stop the night, I thought, and then,

  Once more I changed my mind again;

  I cannot call on her without

  My clothes, which are alt up the spout.

  'I'll get him off his horse too,' said Yaji. He gave a yell, and the postboy got off his horse in alarm immediately.

  'What do you think of that, Kita?' asked Yaji.

  'Everybody knows that it is the proper thing to alight from your horse when you pass a samurai,' said Kita.

  'That's just it,' said Yaji. 'They take me for a samurai.'

  'Nonsense,' said Kita. 'Look behind. There are two samurai coming.'

  'Are there really?' said Yaji, and turning round he ran into a samurai.

  'Can your honours tell me how far it is to Kambé?' he asked, for they looked like two country samurai, acquainted with the neighbourhood.

  'At that point between the river bank and the sky,' said one of the samurai, 'it is half way.'

  'Thank you, your honour,' said Yaji.

  'At that point between the river bank and the sky?' said Kita. 'Boa-constrictors don't crawl on the ceiling. Ha-ha-ha! By the way I wonder what's the name of this river.'

  'It's two coppers each,' said the bridge-keeper, 'and this is the River Utsubé.'

  Later they crossed the River Takaoka and quickly arrived at Kambé, where they went into a small teahouse on the outskirts of the place to have a rest. By-and-by along came a postboy.

  'Won't your honours take a ride?' he asked.

  'Well, if you are on your return journey we might ride,' said Yaji.

  'I'm going back to Ueno,' said the postboy. 'I'll take you and your baggage for two hundred and fifty coppers.'

  ' We'll give you a hundred and fifty coppers to carry both of us,' said Kita.

  'I haven't got the gear for carrying two people,' said the postboy. 'It's nine miles to Ueno and Shiroko's half way. You might one of you ride and one of you walk and change over there.'

  'We don't want to go if we can't both ride,' said Yaji.

  'Then how will it do if I tie you both in the saddle?' asked the postboy. 'I've got a rope and it will be quite safe.'

  'What an idea,' said Kita. 'We shouldn't be able to smoke.'

  'Suppose we take turns in riding and give you a hundred and fifty coppers,' suggested Yaji.

  To this the postboy agreed, and their baggage having been fastened on, Kita took the first turn.

  'I'll walk on slowly in front,' said Yaji. 'Look out, Kita, the baggage is all on one side.'

  'He-he-he!' whinnied the horse and started off with all its bells jingling.

  Soon from the opposite direction they saw a man coming towards them. He was dressed in a blue-striped cloak that had been washed and was carrying some strings of coppers in a wrapper over his shoulder.

  'Halloa!' he cried on seeing the postboy. 'Aren't you Chota of Ueno? I was just going there. Lucky I met you.'

  'Oh, it's Master Gombei, isn't it?' said the postboy. 'Dear me! I feel quite ashamed to meet you.'

  'I should think so, I should think so,' said Gombei. 'You know you were to pay me back every month, but you haven't brought me a penny of it. What are you going to do about it? That's what I want to know.'

  'Please come over here,' said the postboy. He led the way to a shady place by the side of the road and sat down on the bank. Apparently he was going to explain why he had not been able to pay a debt.

  'Don't be angry,' he said. 'Sit down a bit. Take care, there's some dirt there. If I'd known you were coming to-day I'd have had it cleaned. I'm sorry I can't give you some tea or order any sake, Master Gombei, because we're on the road.'

  'Look here,' interrupted Kita. 'Can't we be getting on?'

  'Don't be in a hurry,' said the postboy. 'Wait a bit. I've got some important business to attend to. You see, Master Gombei, it's like this. My old woman, she's been very sick since last winter and I've got a lot of hungry little devils crying for food, and I can't get even the roughest kind of work. However, I promise I'll bring you the money in four or five days.'

  'No, no,' said Gombei, 'that won't do. You always say that but you never bring it. It's three years since I lent you the money. With interest it amounts to over twenty thousand coppers. You must pay up. If you can't I'll take the horse. I got the papers all ready in case they were wanted. No excuses now. Here, master, I'm very sorry, but that horse is wanted to pay off a debt. Please get down.'

  'It's enough to drive a fellow silly,' said Kita. 'I've just got on the horse and now you want me to get off. Well, I haven't paid for it yet, so I suppose I may as well.' He got down from the horse.

  'Master, master,' said the postboy. 'Don't get off the horse or he'll take it. Please get on again.'

  'No, no,' said Gombei.

  'It's a shame to take the gentleman's horse,' said the postboy. 'Please get on, sir.'

  'Get on again?' said Kita. 'Well, here goes,' and he got on again.

  'What are you doing, Chota?' said Gombei, who was getting furious. 'Please get off, sir.'

  'What, get off again?' said Kita. 'You're playing with me. I'm getting tired of this getting on and off.'

  'Yes, but it's my horse,' said Gombei. 'Please get down.'

>   'What a trouble you are,' said Kita, peevishly, and he jumped off again.

  'Don't get off, don't get off,' said the postboy. 'Look here, Master Gombei, I'll tell you what. I can't do anything here. Wait till I get to my house. Or if that won't do I'll give you these clothes.'

  'I know you,' said Gombei. 'You want to get away.'

  'No, no,' said the postboy. 'Please, master, get on.'

  'What, get on again?' said Kita. 'You'll have to excuse me this time. I'm going to walk, I am, I don't care how cheap it is, I don't want to ride.'

  'Don't say that, sir,' said the postboy. 'It's all right this time. There!'

  He caught hold of the horse's bridle and held it, so there was nothing for Kita to do but to get on again.

  'Just hand over those clothes, as you promised,' said Gombei.

  'No, no,' said the postboy. 'You must wait till I get home.'

  'None of your tricks,' said Gombei. 'Master, please get off that horse again.'

  'The country bumpkins!' said Kita. 'Now they say I've got to get off again! No, no, I've had enough of that. Let's get on.'

  'That's right, master,' said the postboy. 'Don't get off.'

  'He must get off,' said Gombei angrily, but as he went to catch hold of the horse the postboy struck it hard, and the horse started off at full gallop with Kita on its back.

  'Stop, stop,' shouted Kita, pallid with fear. 'Help, help!'

  'What did you want to make the horse run away for?' said Gombei, and he ran after it.

  Kita clung on to the saddle with both hands, for dear life, while the horse went on helter-skelter, till at last, able to hold on no longer, he fell off, catching his feet in the bridle as he did so and turning head over heels.

  'Oh, oh, oh!' he groaned. 'Where's everybody? Oh, oh!' and he lay there groaning till the postboy came running up.

  'Hope you haven't hurt yourself,' he said, as he ran up to Kita. But just then he caught sight of Gombei trying to catch the horse and he rushed off to stop him, leaving Kita to look after himself.

  'Here, wait for me,' called Kita. 'Look what you've done to me.'

  Grumbling he got up. He felt very angry, but he had hurt himself too badly to run after them, and all he could do was to limp along till he reached the village of Yabasé.