Shank's Mare

by Ikku Jippensha

  'Do you want to land?' asked the boatman.

  'I want to relieve myself,' said Yaji.

  'Lean over the side of the boat and do it,' said the boatman.

  'That would be all right if I could, but I can't,' said Yaji.

  Seated next to them was a party of two, consisting of an old man and a young boy. The old man had been talking to Yaji and Kita earlier in the evening, but was now lying down covered with a quilt.

  'Excuse me,' he said,'but if you want to relieve yourself there's a pot over there. Here, Chōmatsu. Wake up. He's too sleepy. You'll find it just over there. Please take it.'

  'Thank you very much' said Yaji. He searched about in the dark and behind a brazier he found a teapot of a kind hardly ever seen in Edo. Yaji thought it must be the pot the old man meant and pulled it out.

  'Here it is,' he cried. 'It's the usual kind, I see.'

  In reality it seemed to him a strange-looking pot. He thought at first the handle must be the mouth, but he found there was no hole. Then he thought it must have a stopper in, and stuck his finger in to see. He was in such a hurry to relieve himself that he kept twisting the teapot about in all directions till at last the lid fell off. 'Oh, there's a hole here,' he thought, and he did it in the top.

  'Thank you very much,' he said to the old man, and put the teapot back where he had found it.

  'It's very cold,' said the old man. 'Chōmatsu, get up and make a little fire. We'll warm some sake. Can't you open your eyes? Wake up, wake up.'

  The old man got up himself at last and raked together the fire in the brazier. Then he lit a small lantern, hung it on the gunwale and took up the teapot.

  'What's this in the teapot?' he said. 'Oh, yes, we were going to make some tea and filled it with water.' With that he threw the contents of the teapot into the river and having put some sake in it put it on the brazier to warm.

  'Won't you Edo gentlemen have some sake?' he asked.

  'I shall be delighted,' said Kita.

  'It's warm now,' said the old man. He brought out some comestibles and poured out some sake into a cup.

  'It's nice and hot,' he said,'but it has a funny smell. Seems as if the sake had gone bad. But it can't be that. Just try a cup.'

  He handed the cup to Kita who drank it off at a gulp. It seemed to him to have a very strange salty taste and made him feel sick, but he said 'Thank you.'

  'Won't your friend have some?' said the old man.

  'Here, Yaji,' said Kita, and he handed him the cup.

  Yaji, who had been looking on, felt sure that the pot in which they had warmed the sake was the one into which he had relieved himself, and he noted their grimaces after they had drunk. The situation seemed to him very funny, but he concealed his amusement, and when Kita handed him the sake cup declined to have any.

  'I don't know how it is,' he said,'but I don't feel like drinking sake to-night. But let me pass the cup to you.'

  'Won't you have some?' said the old man.

  'Why he bathes in it usually,' said Kita. 'Won't you really have some, Yaji? Generally the very mention of sake makes your mouth water. It's very strange.'

  'Aha!' said the old man. 'I understand. Your friend mistook the pot in the dark and did it in here. I thought it tasted like that. We can't drink it now.'

  'I never dreamt of it,' said Kita. 'When we were crossing the Kuwana ferry he made a mess in the boat and caused no end of a row, but I didn't think he would be as careless as this. Ugh! How dirty!'

  'That's why the teapot was full when I took it up,' said the old man. 'I thought this lad had filled it with water and I emptied it into the river, but I must have left some in.'

  'What a horrible thing,' said Kita. 'I feel sick.'

  'So do I,' said the old man. 'Ugh! Ugh!'

  'I'm really very sorry,' said Yaji. 'Shall I give you some medicine? Though I don't know what sort of medicine would be good for it. Has any body got any pills for this complaint?' he asked the other passengers.

  'No, no,' said the passengers. 'We haven't got any medicine that would be good for that.'

  'What a nuisance!' said Yaji.

  'Just lift up the cover a little, Yaji,' said Kita.

  'What for?'

  'I want to do something.'

  'Do something?'

  'Yes, with my mouth.'

  'Then you'd better go to the side of the boat and stick your head over. I'll hold on to you. How do you feel now? Is there some more? It's a pity there's no dog in the river.'

  'What do you want a dog for?'

  'Why if there was a dog I could call "Shirokoi! Shirokoi!" '

  'Don't be a fool! Ugh!'

  'Chōmatsu,' said the old man. 'Just rub my back. Ugh! Ugh!'

  Soon the old man ceased to feel sick and washed his mouth with the river water.

  'How's the other gentleman?' he asked.

  'Well, I feel a little better now,' said Kita. He washed out his mouth also and sat with a very sad face. Yaji continued to conceal his mirth at the incident and the old man took him for a very good-natured person and did not get angry with him.

  'I'm very sorry you've been so unfortunate,' he said. 'We might drink the remainder of the sake to take away the taste, but unfortunately I haven't got anything to warm it in. What shall we do?'

  'There's a new pot here,' said Chōmatsu. 'We might use that to warm the sake in.'

  'That's true,' said the old man. 'A clean pot's all right. I bought it at Fuji-no-mori to-day and it hasn't been used once yet. Let's heat it in that.'

  'You'd better take care,' said Kita. 'You might make a mistake.'

  'Nonsense!' said Yaji. 'You drink tea out of a teapot, so why shouldn't you drink sake out of another kind of pot?'

  'What, drink sake out of a pot?' cried Kita.

  'Well, after all,' said Yaji to the old man,'perhaps you'd better use the small teapot.'

  'I threw it into the river,' said the old man. 'The pot's quite new and clean.'

  He put some sake from the tub into the pot and put it on the brazier.

  'Just pass me that teacup, Chōmatsu,' he cried. 'There, now we'll have some good sake.'

  When the sake was warm he invited Yaji to have some, and at the same time passed him some comestibles.

  'What's this?' asked Yaji.

  'That's whale meat with the fat taken off,' said the old man.

  'It's very nice,' said Yaji. 'Here, Kita, have a drink.'

  Kita seized the cup and poured himself out a drink from the pot. As it was a new pot he had no hesitation in drinking the sake and swilled it off with gusto. 'It gives it a new flavour drinking it out of a pot,' he said. 'Shall I give you some?'

  'Please all have a drink,' said the old man.

  Kita accordingly passed the cup on to the person next to him, who happened to be the man from Echigo, and he expressed himself as very pleased. When Kita began to pour from the pot, however, his expression changed. 'Isn't that a pot to make water in?' he asked.

  'You needn't be frightened,' said Kita. 'This is a new pot so it's quite clean.'

  He poured out some sake and the Echigo man drank it off. 'Ah, that's good,' he said. 'Here, my Nagasaki friend, come and enjoy yourself.'

  He passed the pot to the Nagasaki man, who also expressed himself as very pleased.

  'Let everybody have a drink,' said the old man.

  The Nagasaki man accordingly passed it to the man next him. This was a man who appeared to be sick, since he was very pale and dirty and had something round his neck. He was lying down and had an old man with him as attendant.

  'I don't drink saké,' said the sick man,'but my companion does.'

  He handed the cup to his companion, who showed no reluctance in taking it, as he had heard them saying that the pot was quite new and clean.

  'Would you please hand me the pot,' said the attendant. 'I'll pour for myself.'

  The old man was apparently fond of sake, for he drunk two cups of it in quick succession before he returned the cup to Yaji. />
  'Now, Master Gaffer, you have a cup,' said Yaji to the owner of the sake.

  'No, no, you have one,' said the old man.

  'Very well,' said Yaji. 'Just pass that pot over will you, please?'

  'Yes, yes,' said the attendant on the sick person.

  He passed the pot along and Kita having filled Yaji's cup to the brim Yaji gulped it down at a breath. Immediately he flung the cup away.

  'Oh, oh, oh!' he yelled. 'What a dreadful thing I've done. Ugh! Ugh!'

  'What's the matter, Yaji?' asked Kita.

  'The matter is that it's not saké,' said Yaji. 'It's somebody's stale.'

  'Deary, deary me,' said the old man with the sick person. 'I've been very careless. I changed the pot with that of the invalid here. Here's the one with the sake in. Please give the other back.'

  'Ha-ha-ha!' laughed Kita. 'That's a good one.'

  'What shall I do?' said Yaji. 'What shall I do? I've never drunk anybody's stale before, and that sick man's stinks horribly. Ugh! Ugh!'

  'Ha-ha-ha!' laughed Kita. 'Look at that sick man's face. He's got the pox. Look how his face is covered with boils.'

  'Don't talk of it,' moaned Yaji. 'My throat's fit to split. Oh, oh! I do feel sick.'

  'It's a punishment on you,' said Kita. 'It ought to be prohibited on boats.'

  The commotion caused by the incident had wakened all the passengers, who laughed heartily at it. Just then, when they were drawing near to Hirakata, a trading boat came alongside.

  'Halloa!' cried the man in the boat. 'Do you want to buy something to eat and drink? Wake up everybody. What a sleepy lot you are.'

  He brought his boat alongside and without any ceremony pulled back the matting that covered the boat. The ways of these trading boats are well known, and give rise to many disputes.

  'What have you got to eat?' asked one of the passengers. 'Have you got any good sake?'

  'I'm hungry,' said Kita. 'I'd like something to eat.'

  'Want something to eat, do you?' said the boatman. 'There you arc, cat that. What about the chap over there? He's got a hungry look. Haven't you got any money?'

  'Get out you rascal,' said Yaji. 'What do you suppose we are?'

  'This soup's half cold and has no taste at that,' said one of the passengers.

  'Mix some water with it then,' said the man.

  'Shut your jaw,' said the passenger. 'These vegetables are ail bad.'

  'What else did you expect,' replied the man. 'I kept all the best ones for myself.'

  'What an insolent knave he is,' said the Nagasaki man. 'I never heard of such a thing.'

  'Shall I knock him off the boat,' said the man from Echigo. 'Don't talk nonsense, but just pay up,' said the man. 'That old man over there hasn't paid me.'

  'You thief, I paid you just this minute,' said the old man. 'I suppose your wife's a beggar and eats raw rice, which makes her swell up and froth at the mouth.'

  'And you've got a hovel in the river bed at Shijō, I suppose,' replied the man. 'It's going to rain, so you'd better go home before it's washed away.'

  'What a rascally knave he is!' said Yaji.

  'Don't get angry,' said one of the passengers. 'All the men are like that. The place is noted for it.'

  'Yes, but it's too much of a good thing,' said Yaji.

  'Fools, fools,' shouted the man as he shoved off.

  'Who are you calling fools?' shouted Yaji angrily. 'You just wait a minute.' He jumped up, treading on the knee of one of the passengers as he did so.

  'Oh, oh, oh!' yelled the passenger. 'That's my knee.'

  'Now you're stepping on me,' yelled the Nagasaki man.

  'I'm very sorry,' said Yaji, and he sat down again.

  As the boat was thus proceeding down the river, suddenly the sky got dark and rain fell and as the cover of the boat leaked the passengers began to complain. At last the boat put in to the bank at a place half way between Fushimi and Osaka, where the boats going up and down the river pass each other, and waited there for the weather to clear up. This was not for some time, but at last the rain ceased, the clouds parted and the moon came out. Then all the passengers began to feel more cheerful.

  Yaji and Kita drew back the cover of the boat to look at the scenery.

  'What will be the time, I wonder,' said Yaji. 'By the way, Kita, I'm in trouble again. I want to do another little job for myself.'

  'You only think of dirty things,' said Kita.

  'Well, you can't do it in the boat,' said Yaji. 'Look here, as we're lying by the bank I think I'll jump up on the embankment and do it.'

  'Yes, I see people are getting off the other boats to relieve themselves,' said Kita. 'But be quick. I'll come with you as I want to do something too. Here, boatman, is it all right to get up on the bank?'

  'If you want to do something you must be quick,' said the boatman. 'As soon as I've had my supper I'm going to start again.'

  'Where are my sandals?' said Yaji.

  'Never mind your sandals,' said Kita. 'We can wash our feet when we come on board again.'

  The two then climbed up on to the bank.

  'What a lovely view it is!' said Yaji. 'Where shall I do it?'

  'Look out, there's a pool there,' said Kita. 'Go a bit further along. It is a fine night, isn't it?'

  While they were gazing at the scenery one of the boats at the bank began to prepare to start, and it seemed to Yaji and Kita that it was their boat which was going on again. The boatmen were getting out their sweeps, and all the people who had got off the boat were rushing down the bank and jumping on again in great confusion. Yaji and Kita pushed through the crowd and jumped on board the boat, which had come from the Hakkenya at Osaka and was going up the river, although, confused by the boatmen's cries, the two thought it was the boat by which they had come from Fushimi. They thus got on to the wrong boat. As all was dark under the cover of the boat they did not dream that they had made a mistake, especially as they had seen some of the persons from their boat walking on the bank, and these, they thought, had also got aboard. But they could not see their faces in the darkness and there was nobody to warn them of their mistake. As everybody was tired of talking they had all squeezed into their places and were all lying down. Yaji and Kita felt about in the dark, and finding somebody's bundles mistook them for their own, and using them for pillows were soon lost in the world of dreams.

  Meanwhile the boat was being towed and punted back to Fushimi, and it was near dawn when they passed Yodo and quite light when they got to Fushimi. The daylight streaming through the openings in the cover and the cries of the crows awakened the passengers, and when the boat reached its destination they all began to get ready to go on shore. Kita and Yaji drew back the cover and taking their hats and their bundles went on shore to the inn at the landing stage. They were surprised to find that they did not recognise any of the passengers, and they kept looking round to find those they had talked to the night before.

  'Where's the old man who gave me the saké?' asked Yaji.

  'And where's the man from Nagasaki and the man from Echigo? Perhaps they didn't come ashore here. Let's take our time and have something to eat.'

  'Will any gentleman stop for a meal?' asked the maid of the inn.

  'Yes,' said Yaji. 'We two will.'

  The maid brought them some boiled rice in a beancurd bowl, which was the custom at that inn, but the two travellers, not having had a meal there before, still thought they were at Osaka and were quite unconcerned.

  'I'll tell you what well do,' said Yaji. 'We'll go first to the Fundokawachiya in Nagamachi, the place recommended by the teahouse at Hasé, and put up there. What do you say to going to a theatre then?'

  'I want to see Shinmachi first,' said Kita.

  'Of course, of course,' said Yaji. 'How hot this soup is! Phew!'

  Just then some other passengers came off the boat and ordered a meal.

  'What did you do with the cakes you bought at the Toraya, Master Tahei?' asked one of the passengers.

/>   'Would you believe it, Master Rokubei?' was the reply. 'I went to the Toraya yesterday on purpose to buy them and then I went and left them at the Kawaroku.'

  'Well, you'd better go and get some more,' said his companion. 'It's only twenty-five miles.'

  'Ha-ha-ha!' laughed Tahei. 'That's a good one.'

  This struck Yaji as very strange.

  'Excuse me,' he said,'but that Toraya you mentioned just now, it must be in Ōsaka.'

  'Of course,' said Rokubei.

  'And that Kawaroku where you left the cakes, where is that?'

  'That's near the Nippon Bridge.'

  'And how far is that?'

  'It's twenty-five miles.'

  'Dear me!' said Yaji. 'I didn't think Osaka was such a big place, did you, Kita?'

  'What are you talking about?' said Kita. 'They're making fools of us. Whoever heard of its being twenty-five miles from here? Nonsense!'

  'Why, where do you think you are?' asked Tahei. 'This is Fushimi.'

  'What?' cried Yaji. 'Fushimi? You're making fun of us, as Kitahachi said. We came from Fushimi last night.'

  'Then you must have been bewitched by the Momoyama fox,' said Tahei. 'We'd better keep away from you.'

  'Yes, you'd better,' said Kita. 'Bewitched by a fox, indeed! Why, we come from Edo. Absurd!'

  At this point in the dispute two or three more of the party came in.

  'What's that?' said one of them. 'What were you talking about? But instead of that just listen here. What do you think has happened to us? We've lost our bundles on the boat. Just think of it. We've hunted for them everywhere but can't find a trace of them.'

  Just then one of them caught side of the bundles that Yaji had by his side.

  'Here they are, Master Gonsuké,' he cried. 'I told you it would be better to come ashore and make inquiries about them.'

  'Yes, that's it,' said Gonsuké, and he caught them up and was going to carry them off when Yaji stopped him.

  'What are you doing?' he said. 'Those are our bundles.'

  'What are you talking about?' said the other. 'Taking other people's things! Here's my name on it, see?'