Shank's Mare

by Ikku Jippensha

  'Is that so, indeed,' said the fishmonger. 'Then I think that this quarrel had better cease.'

  'Yes, indeed,' replied the workman. 'It would be a pity to spoil our clothes, so I think we had better give it up.'

  'It's getting late, too,' said the fishmonger. 'I must really go.'

  'Well, I'm going your way,' said the workman. 'Let's go together. What pleasant weather it is to-day.'

  'Yes,' said the fishmonger,'it's getting quite warm.'

  They went off together quite amiably and the crowd dispersed, while Yaji and Kita held their sides and laughed.

  'Ha-ha-ha!' laughed Yaji. 'These Westcountry people have got long tempers. Did you ever see such a gentle quarrel as that?'

  'They were thinking what they would get out of it,' said Kita.

  Passing along they came to Kiyomizu, where the teahouses are thick on each side of the road and outside all the girls stand screaming,' Come in. Come in. Come in. Try our famous macaroni. Come in. Come in.'

  'We'll go a bit further before we have something to eat,' said Yaji.

  Soon they came to the Kiyomizu Temple, in the main hall of which stands the Eleven-faced Thousand-handed Kwannon. Yaji and Kita rested here a while and then wandered round the precincts till they came to where an old priest, standing by a table on an elevated piece of ground, was calling to the crowd of pilgrims.

  'A picture of the holy Kwannon of this temple may be obtained here,' he cried. 'Try its wonderful virtues. It makes the blind to talk and the dumb to hear. The cripples who have walked all the way here are able to walk all the way home again. Those who worship it just once, even though they are strong and healthy, enter Paradise immediately. The devout who desire salvation should not leave without receiving one of these pictures. Offerings may be made to any amount. Are there no believers here?'

  'What a chattering old priest,' said Kita. 'By the way, Yaji, I've heard a story about people jumping off from this place.'

  'From ancient times,' said the priest,'those who have made a vow to Buddha have jumped from here in perfect safety.'

  'They'd be smashed to pieces if they did,' said Yaji.

  'Do they ever do it now?' asked Kita.

  'Yes,' said the priest. 'Even naturally timid people have been known to come and jump off here. There was a young girl jumped off here the other day.'

  'What happened to her?' asked Kita.

  'She jumped and fell,' said the priest.

  'Yes, but what happened after she fell?' asked Kita.

  'What an inquisitive person you are,' said the priest. 'Well, as she was full of sin, the Buddha, for punishment, made her turn up her eyes.'

  'Didn't her nose turn up too?' asked Kita.

  'Well, she hadn't got any nose when she started,' replied the priest.

  'Did she lose her senses?' asked Kita.

  'Yes, she became unconscious,' answered the priest.

  'And what happened then?' asked Kita.

  'What a persistent fellow you are,' said the priest. 'What do you want to know all this for?'

  'It's a bad habit of mine,' said Kita. 'I'm never satisfied till I hear everything to the end.'

  'Well, I'll tell you?' said the priest. 'When the girl got to the ground she went mad.'

  'Dear me,' said Kita. 'And what did she do then?'

  'She began reciting the million prayers,' said the priest.

  'And what then?' asked Kita.

  'She struck the bell.'

  'And what then?'

  'Namu Amida Butsu.'

  'And after that?'

  'Namu Amida Butsu.'

  'And what came next?'

  'Namu Amida Butsu.'

  'Yes, but what came after that?'

  'Namu Amida Butsu.'

  'Yes, yes, yes, but what came after the prayers?'

  'Well, you must wait till she's finished. She's got to say it a million times.'

  'What?' cried Kita. 'Have I got to wait till she's done reciting the prayer a million times? How awful!'

  'Well, you said you liked to hear about everything to the end,' said the priest,'so if you have patience you'll know. If you get tired of waiting you might help her say the prayers.'

  'Ah, that would be interesting,' said Kita. 'You help too, Yaji. Namu Amida Butsu. Namu Amida Butsu.'

  'You must strike the bell too,' said the priest. He struck the bell loudly while he recited the prayer. 'Namu Amida Butsu. (Chan-chan.) Namu Amida Butsu. (Chan-chan.)'

  'This is quite amusing,' said Kita.

  'Here, just hold the bell a minute. I've got to go somewhere, said the priest.

  He thrust the bell into Kita's hand and went off. Kita took the bell and went on praying,'Namu Amida Butsu. Namu Amida Butsu. (Chan-chan. Chiki-chan-chan. Chiki-chan-chan.)'

  'You don't strike the bell properly,' said Yaji. 'Give it here.'

  'What?' said Kita. 'Don't I do it properly?'

  He began striking the bell so loudly and making such a row that a priest came out of the temple and fell into a terrible passion when he saw what was going on.

  'Here,' he cried. 'What are you doing at that holy shrine. Don't you know any better than to behave in that uncouth manner in a sacred place?'

  'The priest in charge went away,' said Kita,'so we thought we'd just keep things going.'

  'Don't make any of your silly jokes here,' said the priest. 'Where do you think you are?'

  'This is Kiyomizu, Atsumori's burial place, ain't it?' said Kita.

  'You must be mad,' said the priest.

  'Yes, that's why we're saying the million prayers,' replied Kita.

  'Nonsense,' said the priest. 'Go away at once. This is a holy place of prayer.'

  The priest got so angry and spoke in such a loud voice that many more priests came running out of the temple, and as they looked very threatening Yaji and Kita slunk down the hill.

  'That comes of being too clever with the bell,' said Kita.

  It was now four o'clock and the two thought they had better set off for Sanjō to look for an inn for the night. As they were going along they saw a man coming from the opposite direction carrying a tub and some radishes.

  'Radish stale,' he kept calling out. 'Radish stale.'

  'Well, I've heard of pumpkins playing the flute, but never of radishes relieving themselves,' said Kita.

  'I suppose he wants to exchange the radishes for the stale,' said Yaji.

  'Here you are,' cried the man. 'Big radish stale.'

  As he was going along calling, two men, apparently lower retainers of some sort, came up and began to bargain with the man.

  'Here,' cried one of them. 'We'll give you our stale for three radishes.'

  'Well, just come down here and show me how much you've got,' said the man.

  He led them down a side road, and Yaji and Kita, anxious to see what they were going to do, followed after.

  'There, do it here,' said the man, putting the tub down.

  After they had done it the man tilted the tub on one side to see how much there was. 'Is that all?' he asked.

  'I broke wind at the end,' said one of the retainers,'so there can't be any more.'

  'That's no good,' said the man. 'Just shake yourselves and try again.'

  'We're not keeping any back,' said the retainer. 'There's nothing left.'

  'Then I can't give you three radishes,' said the man. 'Take two.'

  'Yes,' said the other retainer,'I know it's only a little, but it's very good. Other people only live on rice and tea, but we live on nothing but meat.'

  'Yes, but there's nothing of it,' said the man.

  'Well, don't make such a fuss,' said the retainer. 'Take it home and mix some water with it and it will make quite a lot. Give us the three radishes.'

  'You say nothing but "give, give," ' said the man,'but I want something in return. Go and drink some tea, and see if you can't do some more.'

  They were going on disputing, when Kitahachi, who had been enjoying the joke, spoke to the retainers.

&
nbsp; 'Excuse me,' he said,'but fortunately I want to relieve myself, and if it's not being too rude I'll let you have it. If you add mine to yours he'll let you have three radishes.'

  'Thank you very much for your kind offer,' said one of the retainers,'but I'm afraid we trespassing on your goodness too much.'

  'Not at all,' said Kita. 'I haven't very much to offer, but if the little I have is of any service to you...'

  'Well, we'll accept your offer then,' said the retainer.

  The cub was brought and put before Kita.

  'No, no,' he said. 'Put it further away. My distance is a couple of yards.'

  'That's wonderful,' said the man with the radishes. 'You can't be a native of this place. Theirs is so thin it's no use.'

  'I've always been a great man at that sort of thing ever since I was born,' said Kita. 'I'm the sort of man that has to carry a tub around with him.'

  'How lucky you are!' said one of the retainers.

  'Well then, just put the tub on your shoulder and I'll go with you,' said the scavenger.

  'Well, I'm not quite so frequent as that,' said Kita.

  'You've got a friend with you, I see,' said the man. 'Doesn't he want to do something?'

  'No, thank you,' said Yaji. 'I'm the sort of man that does four to eight gallons at a time without any difficulty, but lately I haven't been able to do any at all, which gives me much trouble.'

  'There's a way to cure that,' said the man.

  'How's that?' asked Yaji.

  'Well, you know, if saké won't run well from the bung of a sake tub they bore a hole in the top of the tub and then it comes out very fast. If yours won't come out all you have to do is to bore a hole in your forehead and it'll come out all right then.'

  'Ha-ha-ha!' laughed Kita. 'That's a good one. But it's getting late. Let's go.'

  As they were going along they saw coming from the opposite direction two or three girls wearing veils, as is the custom in the capital. They looked very fair and graceful, and Kita was quickly on the alert.

  'Halloa!' he said. 'Look at these girls. Ain't they pretty?'

  'They look a frolicsome lot,' said Yaji. 'What have they got their clothes over their heads for?'

  'Those are veils,' said Kita. 'I'm going to speak to that pretty little one.'

  'Excuse me,' he said, going up to one of the girls,'but could you tell me the way to Sanjō?'

  Now this girl was an attendant at the Palace and very haughty.

  'If you wish to go to Sanjō,' she replied,'you must go straight along here till you get to Ishigaki and there you must turn to the left and you'll come to Sanjō bridge.'

  As she was a Palace attendant and Kita appeared to her a little impudent and forward, she had directed him to Gojō Bridge instead of Sanjō, as a punishment.

  'Thank you very much,' said Kita, quite unconscious of the trick that had been played on him, and they continued on their way.

  'That girl had a very haughty way with her,' said Kita.

  'Yes,' said Yaji,'she treated us very disdainfully. What a shame! Ha-ha-ha!'

  They went on till they got to Ishigaki and then turned to the left as they had been told till they came to Gojō Bridge. By this time it was getting quite dark. Then a man stopped them

  'Can you tell me the way to Shirudani?' he asked.

  'Yes,' said Kita. 'Go straight along and you'll get to Shirudani. If you fall you must get up again and go on, and don't mind if you tread on some cow's dung.'

  'What do you mean by answering in that way, you cur?' said the man.

  'What do you mean by calling me a cur?' said Kita. 'Haven't I told you the road?'

  'You talk big,' said the man. 'Do you want me to cut you down?'

  Then they saw that the man had two or three companions with him, all strongly built, with long swords at their thighs. They looked like wrestlers.

  Kita immediately altered his tone.

  'Excuse me,' he faltered.

  'He's half drunk, your honours,' said Yaji. 'Just overlook it this time.'

  'That I cannot,' said the wrestler. 'What are you?'

  'We're only two travellers, your honour,' said Yaji.

  'If you're travellers,' said the wrestler,'you must have an inn. Where is it?'

  'We were just going to our inn at Sanjō, your honour,' said Yaji.

  'What are you talking about now?' said the wrestler. 'Sanjō, indeed! We've just come from the Amigasaya at Sanjō. This is Gojō Bridge.'

  'Isn't this Sanjō?' said Yaji. 'There, Kita, that girl who showed us the way played a trick on us.'

  'Where do you come from?' asked the wrestler.

  'We came from Kiyomizu.'

  'Ha-ha-ha!' laughed the wrestler. 'They've been bewitched by a fox. Don't let's waste any more time on them. Get out, get out. You're a couple of fools.'

  The wrestlers went on their way laughing, and Yaji and Kita crossed the bridge, sore at heart and grumbling at having been misdirected, and wandered on through the busy streets, till, past the bridge, they found a street on the left where lanterns were hanging from all the eaves and the air was filled with the sound of the samisen, coupled with lively songs.

  Men with their heads tied up were prowling round and peeping into the houses. This street is called Gojō Shinchi and is a small pleasure-quarter. The wicket of each house was open and at each door stood a girl. One of them caught hold of Yaji as he passed and whispered something to him. Turning round to look, he saw that inside the house there were a number of courtesans.

  'I say, Kita,' he said,'this is a courtesans' quarter. Suppose we spend the night here.'

  'So it is,' said Kita. 'Well, we haven't got any baggage, so it will look all right.'

  'Please come in,' said the girl.

  'We'll go in,' said Yaji,'but how much do you charge?'

  'Do you want to stop all night?' she asked.

  'Of course,' said Yaji.

  'It's early yet,' said the girl,'so it will be seven mommé.'

  'They say you can beat down these Westcountry courtesans,' said Kita. 'Make it half.'

  'Say four hundred coppers each,' said Yaji,'and we'll stop. If you can't do it for that we'll give it up.'

  'Very well,' said the girl. 'Please come in.'

  'Is that all right?' said Kita. 'I suppose you've got two courtesans not engaged.'

  The girl conducted them upstairs, where, as the roof was low, Yaji bumped his head and groaned.

  'What's the matter?' asked Kita.

  'Please take care,' said the girl.

  She brought a tobacco-box and with her came two courtesans named Kichiya and Kingo, each wearing a thick silk robe with a black velvet collar. As the room upstairs was so low that their hairpins scraped against the ceiling, they walked with a stoop, holding their skirts up at one side. When they had entered the room they sat down, crying out that they were tired.

  'The lantern's very dark,' said Kita. 'Come more this way.'

  'Where do you gentlemen come from?' asked Kichiya.

  'Let's see, where did I meet you before?' said Yaji.

  'Ho-ho-ho!' laughed Kingo. 'You're just like someone I met at the Rokkaku morning market. You talk with an accent so I suppose you are travellers.'

  'You must be pilgrims,' said Kichiya.

  'Something like that,' answered Yaji.

  'Won't you have some sake?' asked Kichiya.

  'Yes, yes,' said Yaji. 'Let's have some sake quickly.'

  'And what would you like to eat with it?' asked Kichiya.

  'I think riceballs would be nice,' said Kingo.

  'I think kachin would be nicer,' said Kichiya.

  'Well, I don't care whether it's kachin or yachin,' said Yaji,'only let's have it quickly.'

  'I'll bring it at once,' said Kichiya.

  She went downstairs to get it and while she was away the other courtesan took a looking-glass out of her sash and re-powdered her face. At last the sake bottle and cups arrived, together with two big bowls on trays. This astonished Yaji.
>
  'It's strange giving us a bowl each,' he said. 'I've always heard that Kyōto is a stingy place, but they don't seem to be so here.'

  'It's cheap at four hundred,' said Kita.

  They thought that the sake and the comestibles were included in the four hundred coppers.

  'Well, let's have a drink,' said Yaji.

  'All right, said Kita, and he gulped down a cupful. 'What's in the bowl? It looks like onions, but it's all burnt black.'

  'That's kachin,' said Kichiya. This is a Westcountry dish of rice-cake and onions. As the girl was not fond of drinking and liked this dish, she had ordered it for the guests. Kita did not know what it was.

  'I've never heard of kachin,' he said. 'What is it?'

  'It's nice,' said Kichiya.

  Kita took a taste. 'Why, it's rice-cake,' he said.

  'Get out!' said Yaji. 'These Westcountry people are strange. Fancy eating rice-cake with sake! Whoever heard of such a thing?'

  'I'll bring you something else,' said Kingo.

  She went downstairs and soon came back with a dish of rice-balls done in the Westcountry style. As she was very fond of them she had ordered them.

  'What's this?' asked Kita. 'Why, it's rice and fish.'

  'It's cockles and rice,' said Kingo.

  'Everything they bring is stranger and stranger,' said Yaji. 'I'm not going to drink any more sake.'

  There was some more talk, but to cut it short the bedding was brought in and screens were put up between the beds. Just then a woman of about forty, apparently the mistress of the house, came upstairs with the bill and pulled aside the screen. 'Excuse me,' she said.

  'Who is it?' asked Yaji.

  'I've come for the money,' said the woman. She presented a paper to Yaji, who opened and looked at it.

  'What's this?' said Yaji. 'I thought we had to pay four hundred each, that is eight hundred, but here's four hundred for the rice-cake, two hundred for the rice balls, one hundred and eighty for the sake, fifty for the candles, altogether one thousand six hundred and thirty coppers. This is terrible. Are these all extra? I thought they were included in the charge. Here, Kita, what do you think of it?'

  'What's that?' said Kita. 'You people must think we come from the country. It's very dear if you charge for the sake extra. Is this four hundred for the rice-cake we had in the bowls? Why there were only three or four pieces of rice-cake and a scrap of onion. Everybody knows that Kyōto people are stingy, but I didn't think they were as stingy as all that. Even down to the candle! You must cut it down.'