Shank's Mare

  'So much pounding makes me tired,' said Yaji.

  Passing out of the precincts of the temple they reached Baba-saki-ddri, where there is a small pleasure-quarter and beautiful courtesans and singing girls make the streets very gay.

  'There's a place just off the road I want to call at.' said Saheiji. 'If you go straight on you'll come to Tennoji. I'll catch you up very soon.'

  'All right,' said Yaji. 'We'll go on ahead.'

  Separating from Saheiji the two went on, conversing as they went, till they came to a place where another road turned off and they felt doubtful which road to take. An old scavenger was going on in front, with two buckets slung across his shoulders, so they called to him,'Which is the way to Tennoji?'

  'I'm going there,' said the scavenger. ' Ye'd better follow me.'

  'I'd rather not,' said Kita. 'What a stink!' He began to lag behind, but the scavenger turned round.

  'I live near Tennoji,'he said,'and I'll take you right there. Come along. Come along. Where d'ye come from?'

  'We're Edo folk,'said Yaji.

  'Aha I' said the scavenger. 'Edo's a fine place. What do they give for two buckets of it up there?'

  'I don't know,' said Yaji.

  'I say, Yaji.' said Kita, pulling his sleeve,'let's fall back a bit.' To let the old man get well ahead Kita relieved himself.

  'What a nuisance he is!' said Yaji. 'He expected me to know the price of that filth. He's an idiot.'

  Thinking the old man must have got a long distance ahead they walked on briskly, when they again came upon the old man wait-ing for them.

  'Eh,' said Kita. 'How annoying! There's that old man waiting for us.'

  'Come on! Come on!' cried the old man. 'You know you don't know the road. I saw one of ye just now doing something for himself. All ye Edo folk are wasteful like that. What a pity! How many times a day do ye gentlemen do it?'

  'Well sometimes we do it three times a day, and other times we do it four or five,' said Yaji. 'It's not fixed.'

  'Does it come out thick or thin?' asked the old man.

  'You want to know all sorts of things, don't you?' said Yaji. 'I'm no good, but this other fellow is like a waterfall.'

  'I wish I'd known before,'said the old man. 'It's all wasted now.'

  'Get on a bit faster, Kita,' scolded Yaji. 'What are you doing?'

  But Kita secretly tweaked Yaji by the sleeve. 'Look inside his bucket,' said Kita. 'You can see the head of a gold hairpin.'

  While Yaji went on talking to the old man, Kita behind picked up two pieces of bamboo and using them as pinchers tried to pick the hairpin out of the bucket. Just then, however, the old man shifted the buckets to the other shoulder and the pieces of bamboowere knocked out of Kita's hand and a splash of the contents of the buckets fell on his clothes. With an exclamation of disgust Kita rubbed it off with a piece of paper, while the old man, who in changing had shifted the hack bucket to the front, discovered the hairpin.

  'What's this?' he asked. He caught hold of the head of the pin and pulled it out and found it was apparently a valuable pin.

  'I suppose it must have fallen in the privy,' said the old man. 'It'll be a fine present for my grand-daughter. I'm going on in front. Come along after me.'

  He went off briskly without troubling any more about them.

  'How vexatious!' said Kita.

  'You never can do anything right.' said Yaji. 'It must be because you're body's rotten. You should have gone with that stinking old man.'

  While he was scolding him they arrived at the west gate of the Tennoji, where they met Saheiji.

  'I am tired,' he said. 'I've been pursuing you all the way. Look at that stone gateway. Ono-no-dōfu wrote those letters on the stone.'

  'I've heard of that,' said Yaji,'but I don't know what it means.'

  This temple was founded by Shōtoku Taishi and truly it is sacred ground for all Japanese.

  The grounds of the temple are very extensive, and there is much to see, but I will not describe it here. From there they went along the Abekaidō, where they heard a man singing in the field at his work:

  Oh come most reverend sir, says he,

  And take a little drop with me.

  'Hallo, daddy,' called Yaji. 'You're hard at it. What time is it?'

  'Same time as it was yesterday at this time, I expect,' answered the old man.

  'Get out with your stale jokes,' said Yaji. 'Here, Kita, just strike us a light.'

  'There's a beggar smoking over there,' said Kita. 'Get a light off her.'

  'No, no,' said Yaji. 'She's too dirty.'

  'Nonsense,' said Kita. 'It's your own pipe you use, ain't it? I'll get a light from her. Here, just give us a light.'

  'Ay, ay,' said the girl, who was about twenty-one or twenty-two. ' My pipe's gone out. I'll strike a light for you.'

  'Never mind,' said Kita. 'We can strike one.'

  'Then strike one for me,'said the girl.

  'What a thing to ask! ' said Kita. ' Never mind, I'll give you one, as it's you. Look, Yaji, she ain't bad-looking for a beggar is she?'

  'A lively girl,' said Yaji. 'Have you got a husband?'

  'No, I lost my husband last year,' said the girl.

  'Don't you want to get married again?' asked Yaji.

  "Yes,' said the girl. ' The other day someone was going to get me a husband,—such a good husband, one of those who go about with nothing on crying "Ten-ten-ten" all day. Such a clever begger he is, they say. He's been a beggar all his life and quite able to keep a wife. They asked him if he wouldn't like a wife, but he said that he hadn't got a house and as I wouldn't live with him without a house I didn't go.'

  'I'll find you a good husband,' said Yaji. 'How would this chap do?'

  'Ho-ho-ho!' laughed the girl. 'I'd like to live with him.'

  'Like to come to my house?' said Kita. 'They're repairing it now. I'll call you when it's finished.'

  'Where is your house?' asked the girl.

  'I don't know what the place is called,' said Kita,'but if you go back along this road there's a bridge just being built. When it's finished we'll have the wedding ceremony underneath.'

  'Oh then it'll be made of new mats,' said the girl. 'I hope it'll be made nicely.'

  'Yes, and I'll make you a wedding present of one copper,' said Kita. 'Ha-ha-ha! Fancy me a beggar with you for my wife. Ugh!'

  'Ain't you one of us?' asked the girl.

  'Of course not,' said Kita. 'We're quite respectable city people.'

  'You're so dirty and ragged I thought you must belong to us,' said the girl.

  'Eh? Don't talk nonsense,' said Kita.

  'Ha-ha-ha!' laughed Saheiji. 'She's a clever girl. Come along.'

  The three then went along and soon got into the road leading to Sumiyoshi. Great crowds of people, of all classes and all ages, were passing along the road to worship at the temple, and among them they noticed a man, apparently of good position, accompanied by a crowd of followers. At the door of a dumpling shop they all stopped and each, one by one, demanded a dumpling on a skewer, which they stuck into their mouths as they filed out of the shop. The name of the leader of the band was Kawataro.

  'Here, old lady,' said Kawatarō to the woman in the shop,'I want to buy something else besides dumplings. Won't you sell me something else?'

  'Ay, ay,' said that old woman. 'Whatever your honour pleases.'

  'Well, just sell me one of your doors here,' said Kawatarō. 'I'll give you this for it.'

  He took a bu out of his bag and gave it to her, and while the old woman was standing there lost in astonishment he lifted one of the doors from its grooves and walked off with it. The jesters accompanying him all looked astounded.

  'But master,' they cried,'what do you want with that broken old door. ' It's not worth a in. What's master's idea?'

  'Walking in the sun gives me a headache,' said Kawatarō. 'Here, Kyusuke, just carry the door. I'll give you another bu when we get there, so just carry it crossways till we get to Sumi-yoshi. T
hat's it, that's it.'

  The man carried the door crossways and Kawatarō walked under it in the shade, for a joke. This Kawatarō, who once lived at Osaka, is still remembered for his practical jokes. Kita and Yaji looked on in astonishment.

  'What fun!' said Yaji.

  'These Westcountry people are not all fools,'said Kita. 'Some of them can joke. Fine, fine! '

  They followed after the party, but they had not gone far before Master Kawatarō had changed his mind.

  'It's gloomy under the door,' he said.

  'Shall I open it for a little,' asked Kyusuké,' so that you can see the garden and the pond, and Awaji, and the hills? It's very beautiful.'

  'No, throw it away,' said Kawatarō.

  'Don't you want it any more?' asked Kyusuké.

  'No, no, throw it down,' commanded Kawatarō, and Kyusuké threw it down by the side of the road.

  'Shall we pick it up, Yaji?' asked Kita.

  'No, no,' said Yaji. 'Remember the trouble we had with the ladder in Kyōto.'

  'We could carry it by turns,' said Kita. 'I'd like to walk in its shade. It would be a joke.'

  'Ah!' said Yaji. 'Kitahachi, it's very hot to-day and walking in the sun gives me a headache. Just carry it, will you?'

  'We'll take it in turns,' said Kita.

  'All right,' replied Yaji. 'Ah, that's delightful.'

  With Kita carrying the door and Yaji walking in its shade they arrived at Tengachaya, where they met a crowd of people returning from the capital.

  'Heave her up! Heave her up!' they cried. 'Ha-ha-ha! What an umbrella! Look at the face of the man under it, and what a fool the man looks who's carrying it. Ha-ha-ha!'

  'Get out you rascals,' said Kita. 'What are you jawing about?'

  'Eh?' said one of them. 'Who are you talking to? I'll make you cry on the other side of your face in a minute.'

  'We're Edo folk,' said Kita. 'I'll take you all on.' He turned the door round and round menacingly.

  Then a fat old red-faced fellow in the crowd, named Gonshichi of Imamiya Shinké, caught hold of Kita. 'What do you mean by taking this door?'he demanded. 'It's mine.'

  'Don't be a fool,' said Kita. 'How can it be yours?'

  'Are you blind that you can't see what's written there in such big letters?' said the old man. 'Look, Zenzai-mochi, Sango Dango, Imamiya Shinke, Saikachiya. I wrote it myself. I went out with this company this morning to go to Sumiyoshi for the monthly prayer-meeting. You must have stolen it from my old woman at home while I was out.'

  'What are you talking about?' said Kita. 'Do you think I'm a thief, you old rascal? I picked it up by the side of the road.'

  'Don't talk nonsense,' said the old man. 'Who'd throw away a door like that? Don't tell such foolish lies.'

  'Look here,' interrupted Saheiji,'I'll tell you what happened. It was like this. Somebody bought that door at your shop and threw it away on the road, and my friends here picked it up. That's how it happened.'

  'Don't talk foolishness,' said the old man. 'Look what's written on it. It's my sign-board. It's not for sale.'

  Well, I saw a man pay a bu for it,' said Kita. 'So there.'

  'Listen to him,' said the old man. ' Who'd pay that for an old door? Most likely you've been eating dumplings at my shop and took the door away when you left. You've got to take it back anyway. Come along.'

  'You must excuse us,' said Saheiji. 'If it's your door, you can take it back yourself.'

  While they were pushing the door from one to the other and arguing over it, a postboy came along leading a horse. ' Here, what's this?'he said. 'Clear the road, will you?'

  He was trying to push his way through the crowd when the door, which was being shoved this way and that, struck the horse on the nose, causing it to rear up and kick the postboy, who fell sprawling.

  'Oh, oh, oh!' he groaned.

  'What's the matter?' asked Saheiji. 'Have you hurt yourself?'

  'Oh, oh, oh!' groaned the man again. 'My nuts have dropped off. Just look and see if you can see them there.'

  'What?' said the old man. 'Your nuts? I can't see them.'

  'Then where can they be' said the postboy.

  'Perhaps you've got 'em in your sleeve,' suggested Saheiji.

  'They can't be,' said the postboy. 'For why, I haven't got any pockets in my sleeves.'

  'Then you can't have brought them with you,' said Saheiji. 'Didn't you leave them at home?'

  'Nonsense!' said the postboy. 'Specially as they're sick and swollen. I had 'em in this bag round my neck.'

  'Shake the bag and see if they're there still,' said the old man.

  'Aha! I've got 'em. I've got 'em,' said the postboy. 'It gave me quite a shock. They've got strung up. I must see if I can get'em out. There, they're out, they're out.'

  'Ha-ha-ha!' laughed Kita. 'I see they're swollen.'

  'It's like the offertory-bag at a temple,' said Yaji. 'It gets full against the will of those who fill it.'

  'Well, they're all right, at any rate,' said the postboy. ' It's only my knee that got scraped. What did you want to hit my horse with that door for?'

  'I don't know anything about it?' said Saheiji.

  'That's all very fine,' said the postboy,'but whose door is it?'

  'It belongs to my shop,' said the old man.

  'Look how I've bruised myself,' went on the postboy. 'It's too bad. What's this written on the door? Imamiya Shinke. Saikachiya. That's important evidence. Come on! Come on! I shall have to look into this very seriously.'

  He dragged the door away from the old man, tied it on his horse and led the animal away without taking any notice of the others.

  'Here, here!' cried the old man. 'Where are you going with that door? Wait, wait!'

  He ran off after the postboy, with all the crowd following and shouting to him to encourage him,'Manzairakuja! Manzairakuja! '

  Going on their way the three soon arrived at Sumiyoshi Shinké, which is a very celebrated place of worship. On each side of the streets are rows of fine teahouses, at the doors of which stand red-aproned girls calling,'Walk in! Walk in! What can we serve you with? Try our clam soup. Bream and flat fish served here. Walk in! Walk in!'

  'What fine teahouses,' said Yaji. 'And what a lot of them.'

  This place is famous for its goldfish, pickled clams, biscuits, hot pepper, seaweed, stilts and netted work, which are sold in all the houses. Among the teahouses are the Sammonjiya, Itami-ya, Fundoya, and Ebisuya, where there is a constant stream of guests. In fact the popularity of the place is beyond description.

  'Here is the Sammonjiya,' said Saheiji. 'Just wait a minute.'

  He peeped in at the door of the teahouse and saw that the landlord of the Kawachiya had already arrived.

  'Halloa, Saheiji!' he called. 'You've got here early.'

  'We've just arrived,' said Yaji 'We're going to see the temple.'

  The god of this temple appeared in the divine age at Awajiga-hara to Oto-no-Tachibana of Hiuga province. The main shrine is said to have been founded in the eleventh year of the reign of the Empress Jingo, in the fourth month and the twenty-seventh day. It is divided into four, the Sokotsutsu-ono-mikoto, the Nakatsutsu-ono-mikoto, the Uatsutsu-ono-mikoto, and the Jingo Kwogo. With the branch shrines and others there are thirty-four buildings, all of great elegance. Well may one worship there and say,

  God's silence broods upon the deep,

  And peaceful pines their slumbers keep.

  After wandering round the inside, admiring its enormous size, they went to look at the lanterns on the seashore and then turned back to the Sammonjiya, where a maid came bustling out.

  'Welcome,' she said. 'Please come this way.'

  She led them to a room at the back, where they found Kawa-shiro, as the landlord of the Kawachiya was called.

  'Oh, how hungry I am!' cried Kita.

  'Have a drink then,' said Kawashiro and he offered him a sake cup.

  'Excuse me, Yaji,' said Kita.

  'Pass it along when you've done,' s
aid Yaji.

  'Do you want a drink too?' said Kita.

  'What would you like to eat?' asked Saheiji.

  'Let's have something that will fill the stomach,' said Kita.

  'What an unmannerly fellow he is,' cried Yaji.

  'What about your own manners?'said Kita,—'taking something to eat before you've been offered the saké cup.'

  'Dear me,' said Saheiji. 'How polite you've grown.'

  'When I taste the nice things that our landlord's giving us,' said Yaji 'I feel sorrowful to think that I'm only a poor penniless traveller.'

  This coming from Yaji, who was always boasting and never admitted being beaten, struck Saheiji as funny, but he hid his amusement.

  'You'll have to become a resident of Ōsaka,' he said.

  'It would be all right if I had any occupation,' said Kita. 'But I can't earn my living, so it's all the same where we go.'

  'Well, I've found something,' said Kawashiro. 'I've found something that one of you can do.'

  'What's that?' asked Yaji.

  'It's a position as man-mistress,' said the landlord. 'What do you say to that?'

  'Really?' said Yaji. 'That would just suit me,' and he grinned with pleasure and began to look his old self again.

  'Excuse me,' said Kita, thrusting himself forward. 'Don't you think I'd do better for the position?'

  'Ha-ha-ha!' laughed Yaji. 'You wouldn't do at all. But look here, you'll excuse me asking—I've known you such a short time,—but does she really want me? Is there no mistake? If it's true, of course....'

  'No, no, I swear there's no mistake about it,' said Kawashiro. 'Moreover the widow's very beautiful, only twenty-three or twenty-four years old. Quite well off, too. I'm very friendly with her head clerk. I saw him just now and had a talk with him about it. He says she spends all her money buying actors, and that it would be better for her to have a respectable man-mistress upon whom she could rely. I shall be glad to recommend you. Would you like to see her?'