Until Then

by Delisa Lynn

  “I’m the lucky one. I knew the moment I laid eyes on you that I had to have you. I was so worried about you at the hospital, and then seeing you at Paula’s with my crew? I knew it was fate.”

  “I agree. I thought maybe we were moving too fast, but when we aren’t together, all I do is think of you and want to be in your arms. Does that sound weird?” I see a look of worry cross over her face, but I know exactly what she’s talking about.

  “Hell no, I feel the same way, babe.”

  “Hi, folks, my name is Peter. I’ll be your server tonight. Would you like to start with a bottle of our finest wine?”

  “Yes, the red would be great.”

  “Perfect choice. I’ll be right back with that, and to get your orders.”

  “I’m sorry, Red is your favorite?” I ask Roe.

  “Yes, it is. The steak salad looks delicious.”

  “That looks good. I was thinking of the grilled salmon and sweet potato.”

  “That sounds good too. The menu is amazing.”

  “I know, I’ve had the grilled chicken before, and it’s great. The steak is too, most likely.”

  “I hope so. I think I’m going to get that.”

  Peter comes back with the wine, and we place our orders. Once he leaves, we talk and stare out over the trees. It’s absolutely perfect.

  “I feel like I’m moving too fast. Do you think it’s crazy?” I ask Matt as we start on our route.

  “It’s only fast if you think it is. Hell, some people get married in a week. At least you’re only banging.”

  “Why do I even talk to you and London? The two of you are the same damn person,” I huff. Still, regardless of what Matt says, I feel like things may be moving too fast with Kole.

  “Have you met the parents yet?”

  “Not yet, but we’re having dinner with them this weekend.”

  “Well, until you meet the family, don’t think too much into it. He likes you, though. Anyone can see that.”

  “I know he does, and that’s the problem. We’ve both been hurt so bad in the past, and that thought keeps playing over in my mind. What if he gets caught in a fire? What if I get caught in a fire? What if one of us loses our memory? I don’t want to go through that again. I can’t lose another man I love.” The feelings that have blossomed for this man over the last two months scare me. I wake up thinking of him, go to bed wanting to be in his arms, and only his.

  “Did you just admit you’re in love with him?”

  “What? No. Shit.” I did say that aloud. “Okay, yes, I love him. But I’m scared, and I don’t think it’s a good idea to tell him after only a few months.”

  “Like I said, he adores you. Hell, I could tell that when I met him at Paula’s. He was ready to kick my ass ‘cause he thought I was with you.”

  “I know, I know.” I sigh. “I need a drink. You up for one after our shift?”

  “Sure, sounds good to me.”

  “Hopefully, this will be the last call.” I’m tired. Even though I was off for four days, I didn’t get much sleep. Although, I have to admit I sleep better in Kole’s arms than I have in years.

  “I hope so too. We should call London and see if she wants to join us. I’m sure she could use the night out too.” He’s right; she’s been spending a lot of time with Abbott, and I want to see my bestie. I take my phone out and press her name.

  “Hey, bitch, aren’t you supposed to be working?”

  “We are. You’re on speaker, by the way.”

  “Hey, whore!” Matt says in his singsong voice.

  “What are you two up to? Wanna meet at Paula’s tonight?”

  “That’s what we’re calling you for.” I laugh. “Maybe around six-ish?”

  “Sounds good to me. I’ll see y’all then.”

  “Good deal. Bye, bitch.” I start to toss the phone in my bag but see I have a text from a Michigan number.

  Unknown: I miss you, and there’s something we need to discuss.

  I stare at the phone and, for the life of me, I can’t think of who this is. However, I still have my Michigan number, so I’m sure it’s just a mistake.

  Me: Sorry, but I think you have the wrong number.

  Unknown: Rosealy, it’s me, honey. Lucas.

  What the actual fuck. No, it can’t be.

  Me: Sorry, it’s been almost three years. I deleted your number from my phone. What do you need?

  Unknown: I can understand that. Look, I don’t want to do this through text. Can I come and see you? I’m here, in Cleveland.

  “Oh. My. God. No… Why… How?” I say aloud. There’s no way I want to see him.

  “What’s wrong, boo?”

  “Lucas… He’s here,” I whisper.

  “Who did you say?” He questions.

  “Lucas Lowe.” I say a little louder.

  “The ex?” Matt says, slamming on the brakes.

  “Yes, as in the man who broke my heart.” I look at my phone. “Now he says he wants to talk.”

  “Girl, I would find out what he wants. You don’t need the drama, but you should let him talk. Maybe he’ll explain everything he didn’t before you left.”

  Me: Meet me at a bar called Paula’s at 6pm. Google the address.

  “I told him to meet me at Paula’s. I have no clue what he wants; I haven’t talked to him in years. He was married to his nurse the last time I heard, and they were expecting a kid.” His texting me out of nowhere is just really odd. As I recall, he wanted nothing—and I mean nothing— to do with me before I left home.

  “Maybe he got his memory back and remembers that he loves you.”

  “Doubtful, and besides, I moved on and so did he. He hurt me, and I still feel that pain. Hint why I can’t tell Kole I’m in love with him.”

  “Damn, I wouldn’t want to be you right now. As much as I love you, you have some drama that’s about to unfold.”

  He’s right. And no matter what it is, it’s not good.

  The parking lot is packed. I’m so nervous that after work, I took the longest shower in history. I couldn’t find anything to wear. Finally, I settled on a blue maxi skirt and a white tank top with a jean jacket. Checking the lot, I don’t see London’s or Matt’s cars, so I walk into the bar and look around. I haven’t seen Lucas in so long; I’m not sure if he’s changed or not.

  I try to block him out of my memory, but it doesn’t work all the time. He crushed me, and although he had no memory of me or us, I still tried. But he just pushed me away.

  I order a shot and a beer, playing with the napkins in front of me. When I’m nervous, I like to twist things between my fingers; most of the time, it’s my hair.

  “You haven’t changed a bit. You’re still as beautiful as you were back then,” I hear from beside me. I look over and see Lucas, the one I loved for so long.

  “Why are you here? I have a new life, as do you,” I bite out as I reach for my shot.

  “That’s what I wanted to talk about. I remember. I remember everything about you, about us,” he says, stepping closer to me. “I’ve missed you so much, sweetheart. I hated that I treated you like that. My parents… They threatened to cut me off if I went back to you. I needed their money, so I had to do it. I hate that I hurt you, but I want you back, Roe. I miss you so much.” He wraps an arm around me.

  “How? When did your memory come back?” I ask against his chest. “Wait, they paid you to stay away from me? So, you didn’t have amnesia? They made you lie to me?”

  “I left Della. I couldn’t be with her. I’m in love with you. I only married her because of my parents. Shit, please don’t hate me. Can we go back to my hotel?”

  Pushing him back, I glare at him. “No. Absolutely not. You can’t just wake up and remember what we had and want it back. You threw it away. You broke me. I’ve mourned you for years, and now that I’ve moved on, you want to come rushing into the life I created without you?” I grab the beer I ordered with my shot and down it. “Sorry, friend, but it doesn’t work tha
t way.”

  “Did you hear me? I remembered the entire time. I’ve loved you since I was a sixteen-year-old boy; I could never forget who you were. Please, just let me explain the reasoning. We needed their money. Without my trust funds, we would’ve been broke. Hell, I am broke. I told them I didn’t want any of it. I only want you, babe. I’m so sorry. So fucking sorry. I love you, Rosealy Taylor. I’ve loved you half my life,” he says, and the tears that had welled spill down my cheek. “We were planning to get married, and then after my accident, I lost myself when I lost you.”

  “Your parents made you? So, Della, was she a part of their plan as well?” He nods then lowers his head. “I don’t love you,” I hiss. “You shouldn’t have come here. I have to go.” I start walking away, and he grabs my shoulder, twirling me toward him. His lips crash into mine. Pushing him back, I spit, “Get the fuck outta my life.”

  “What’s going on?” Kole asks, walking up to us. “Roe, is this man bothering you, baby?”

  “Kole.” I suck in my breath. “I was just leaving,” I say, grabbing his hand.

  “Goddamn it, Rosealy, wait,” Lucas calls out, following us. “I came back for you. We can start over.”

  “Who is this dude?” Kole questions as he stops dead in his tracks, glaring at Lucas.

  “No one. Let’s go. I need to get out of here.” I feel like all the air is leaving my lungs. This is not how I imagined this playing out. I thought he wanted to apologize, not confess that he’s a lying bastard.

  “So, I came all the way here, and you’re going to pretend you don’t know me?”

  “Why the hell not? You did the same thing to me. You had no recollection of who I was, nor our life together, remember? So, you know what, Lucas?” I lean in toward him. “Fuck. Off,” I snarl, and stalk toward the door.

  Screw him. I hate him. I fucking hate him. I hate his parents and all their money. I never wanted that money; my daddy made sure I was taken care of, and I had a really good job.

  Once outside, I’m fuming, and I can see all the questions on Kole’s face. I’m shaking all over, and my legs feel like Jell-O. I grab Kole and hug him as tight as I can, letting all the tears fall.

  He holds me tight, running his hands down my back. “I got you, baby, I got you,” he says into my hair.

  “How can he just show up? He broke up with me and married someone else. Now that I moved on, now that I’m in love with someone else, here he is confessing his love for me. Says his parents made him break up with me, made him fake his memory loss.”

  He pulls back and lifts my chin. “You’re in love with me?”

  “I…” Shit, I did say that out loud. “Yes, I am.” I rush out.

  “Roe, what the hell is going on?” London asks, walking out of the bar. “I was waiting for you, and then Steve told me what happened while I was in the bathroom. Lucas is really here?”

  “Yes, that was Lucas. He has his memory back… Well, apparently he never actually lost it. So, the joke was on me all along. He thinks I should drop my current life and take him back with open arms. Fuck that,” I tell her.

  “Holy shit,” she breathes. “Go on, we can do this another night.” She kisses my cheek. “I love you, and this is your home. Don’t ever forget that.”

  “I love you more. And trust me, I’m not going anywhere. But I don’t even feel like going home. Kole, take me to your place.” I don’t want to be alone.

  “Sure thing, babe. I rode here with Abbott, so I’ll drive your car.”

  “Thank you.” I take the keys from my purse and hand them to him. “There’s no way I can think right now, let alone drive. I prayed for months that he would remember our life together, or just even me. But not once did he show any interest, in me or remembering the life we shared, so I moved on. I couldn’t stay there. I loved him with everything that I am, and it hurt so bad to see him, with her. To hear him say he didn’t know me or love me.”

  “I’m so sorry. I can go back and beat the shit out of him if that will help. Sounds like he and his parents need a good old-fashioned ass kicking.”

  I laugh nervously. “Although I would like to see that, it won’t help. Just take me to your place.” He helps me in the car, and I reach over and open the door for him. “Sorry, you’ll have to move the seat back. You know I have short legs.” His legs are so long, and I know he’s cramped driving my car.

  When he starts the car, I continue my story. “I don’t get why his parents hated me so much that they would cut him off for marrying me. It just dawned on me that Della, his wife—err, ex-wife—her dad was the doctor who informed me of Lucas’s memory loss. So they were all in on it. I wasn’t marrying him for money.” I never wanted his money; I just wanted him and our life together.

  “Did they always dislike you? You’d known them for a while, hadn’t you?” Kole asks as we turn into his apartment complex.

  “Yes, and I knew they didn’t like that I came from a broken home and that my dad wasn’t as loaded as them. But I never knew they hated me so much that they would pay their son to break up with me. I mean, who the hell does that?” I just don’t get it. “I was on the verge on a nervous breakdown. He could’ve just told me the truth. Why lie?” I say to Kole.

  Pausing for a second, I start to laugh. “The funny thing is…now he has no one. He left Della supposedly, and he damn sure isn’t getting me back.”

  Seeing my girl so distraught and crying over that jackass and his family has me fuming. It took everything in me not to go back and beat the shit out of him. He treated her like hell when he had his accident, pushing her out of his life, and now he wants her back? That shit’s not happening. She’s mine now, and I’m not letting her go.

  Hearing her say she loves me made my heart swell. I’m so in love with her, but I’m scared because we’ve only known each other a few months. I’ve heard of instant love, but hell, this is my first rodeo. There was never really a serious girlfriend before my late wife.

  I never dreamt that I could love anyone else after her. But then Roe came into my life and showed me I can. She showed me that I deserve to be loved, that I deserve more than the one night I’d grown accustomed to. After the conversation with my parents, I know I’m doing the right thing. That, although things seem to be moving fast, it’s meant to be. Then, after what I witnessed tonight, I know I need to tell her that I’m in love with her too.

  Climbing in the bed next to her, I move her hair away from her wet face. I hate that she’s cried so much, that she’s hurting. When I kiss her shoulder, she turns so she’s facing me. “I’m so sorry you had to witness all this.” She closes her eyes. “Kole Harris, I love you. I love you so much it scares me. I know we’re both damaged, but I need you so bad. I can’t lose you. Please, tell me if I’m too much, or this is too fast.”

  “You came into my life when I needed you the most. After I lost Sherrie, I never thought I could love anyone the way I loved her. I never thought I would be happy again. But you… You showed me differently. I love you so much, baby. I wanted to wait to tell you, but after tonight, I needed you to know. You needed to know. Please, don’t go back to Michigan. I promise I’ll make you happy. I’m not perfect by any means, but I am a man of my word, and I will love you as long as you will allow me too. I will spend my days making you happy and showing you how much you mean to me.”

  “Why would I leave you? You’re all I can think about, all I need. Move in with me,” she blurts out as she climbs on top of me. “I know it’s fast, but you like my house, don’t you?” she whispers.

  “I do like your house, and I would love waking up next to you every day. My lease here is month to month, so I can terminate it at any time.”

  “So, you and Brutus will move in with me?”

  “If that’s what you want, babe, then yes, we will.”

  “It is. I want it more than anything. I need to know that you’re in it for good, though. I can’t take another loss.”

  “I’m yours, as long as you want me.
I love you so much. So fucking much,” I say, kissing her passionately.

  It’s been two days since I confessed my love to Roe. We’re moving my stuff to her place this weekend. She’s asked me daily if I’m sure, and I have to reassure her that I’m 150 percent sure. I hated coming to work today and leaving her, but I couldn’t take any time off this week. She took a few days off, though, and I don’t blame her. She finally went home, wanting to soak in her tub and do some cleaning.

  She hasn’t heard from Lucas since that day at Paula’s. I understand that he loves her, but he should’ve tried. Who throws away the love of their life because their parents cut them off? I hate seeing her so bent out of shape because of that ass.

  “How’s your girl doing, today?” Abbott asks as he sits next to me.

  “Better, but she’s still pretty upset. I can’t believe it was all a lie his parents fabricated to get him to leave her—over money, of all things. He broke her heart, but I’m glad he did. If that hadn’t happened, she wouldn’t be here. But now, she’s mine.”

  “I’m sure that was a pretty intense situation. London filled me in on a little of the history she shared with that dude. I just don’t get why he did it. If he loved her, then why not tell his parents to fuck off? He looked like a dick.”

  “I agree, and I don’t understand myself. I’m moving in with her this weekend. You’ve known me for a while; do you think I’m moving too fast?” He stares at me as he finishes the sandwich he was eating. “I mean everything with Roe. It’s only been a few months, and yet we’ve already confessed our love and will be living together.” I rake my hand over the back of my head. “I never thought I would love anyone the way I love her.”

  “That’s deep, brother. I don’t think it’s fast. If you’re both happy and in love, then who cares about the time frame? Love is love, my friend, regardless of when and where it takes place. If you feel it, and she does as well, then take it and make both of your lives great.”