by Pamela Clare
Jason ripped open a condom packet with his teeth, rolled it onto his erection—and then he was inside her, his hips a piston as he drove himself into her. She came hard and fast, Jason moaning her name as he joined her.
They hadn’t yet caught their breath before they started laughing.
Then it hit her. “Did you drive all night?”
He drew her close. “I left Sells yesterday after supper. I was going to leave this morning, but I just couldn’t wait.”
“How long can you stay?” She wanted to know upfront so she could steel herself.
He grinned. “That’s the thing. I was hoping to stay forever.”
“You want to stay… forever?” Her pulse skipped. “What about your promise?”
Jason’s fingers caressed her shoulder. “At the inipi, Old Man said something that stayed with me.”
Winona couldn’t help but smile. “He’s good at that.”
“He said, ‘A promise is a sacred thing. So is the love of one’s half-side.’ At the time, it seemed impossible to reconcile those two things. But when I left you, it felt … wrong. I got back to Sells, and everything was the same—except that nothing was the same. I realized I would never again feel whole without you.”
Winona understood. “I felt the same way—as if part of me was missing. But I don’t understand. You said you would never leave your people.”
“I didn’t leave them. I brought them with me. They’re here.” He placed her hand over his heart. “They’re with me no matter where I go. I’ll keep in touch, visit when I can, and do my best to be a voice for them in the outside world.”
“What about the Shadow Wolves? What about the Pack?”
“I resigned last Friday. The Wolves understand.”
She swallowed, her throat tight. “You gave up a job you loved and moved away from your brothers—for me?”
“I had to make a choice. I chose you.”
“Are you going to ask Sheriff Pella for the job he offered you?”
“You’re looking at the newest Deputy US Marshal for the Colorado territory.”
“What?!” Winona sat up, stunned.
“That’s what I’ve been working on all this time. Staying with a federal agency enabled me to keep my salary and pension. McBride came through for me. He helped broker a deal that gives me time off for ceremonies and enables me to track for other agencies in the state as the need arises. If Megs wants me on the Team, I’m in.”
Winona struggled to keep up. “It’s like having all my wishes come true at once.”
Jason sat up, and took her hand. “I probably should have called and talked with you about it, but I didn’t want to disappoint you if things fell through. I just signed the final contract yesterday. Then I packed my shit into my truck and drove here.”
“Thank you.” Her heart melted to think he’d been in such a rush to be with her again. “It’s the best surprise ever.”
“I love you, Winona, and I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I want to be the one you reach for at night. I want to be the one who holds you when you’re sad or scared or sick. I want to be the father of your children.”
Tears filled her eyes. “Jason.”
“I know this is all pretty sudden, so if you’re not ready to live together, I can find my own place here in—”
She pressed her fingers to his lips, tears of happiness on her cheeks, her heart soaring with the eagles. “Welcome home, half-side.”
Epilogue
July 10
Winona sat on a bench beside Kat, sheltered by the new sunshade, the two of them watching while Jason, Chaska, Gabe, and the camp counselors guided a rowdy group of O’odham children through the recently rebuilt ropes course. Naomi snapped photographs for the kids to take home, little Shota in a carrier on her back.
Winona watched while Kat’s oldest showed the other kids how it was done, fearlessly crossing the high rope, a smile on her little face. “Alissa takes after her father when it comes to climbing, doesn’t she?”
“You have no idea.” Kat shook her head, her two younger children playing nearby. “She is absolutely fearless at the climbing gym. Last week, she climbed our chimney. I went looking for her and found her sitting on the roof, her legs dangling over the side. I ran for Gabe to help her climb down, but by the time we returned, she was already down.”
Winona laughed. “I’d have had a heart attack.”
Kat laughed. “I told Gabe he needs to build a climbing gym for the kids in our basement—with lots of padding on the floor.”
It was the last day of the first camp session this summer and the first session set aside exclusively for Tohono O’odham kids. Jason and Naomi had worked hard to set this up, building the curriculum around O’odham himdag with storytelling, basket weaving, tracking, gardening, and traditional games. Jason knew some of these kids and their parents personally, and it meant the world to him to give something special to his community.
He and Naomi had also set up agreements with O’odham artists—basket weavers, potters, and others—to sell their goods at Tanagila’s. Winona had made several weekend trips to Sells with Jason to sign agreements and select stock. It had opened a new income stream for O’odham artists who otherwise had to rely on tourist traffic and the casino to sell their work.
Over at the ropes course, the children lined up for their turns, some of them excited and others clearly afraid, Jason speaking to them in O’odham, while the counselors, Chaska, and Gabe spoke English, doing their best to build the children’s confidence. That was the entire point of the ropes course.
The first brave kiddo crossed, a bright smile on his face when he reached the other side to cheers from his fellow campers. Jason cheered, too, helping him to the ground and detaching him from the rope. Winona couldn’t understand what he said, of course, but she could see the pride on the little boy’s face.
Kat smiled. “He’s going to be a wonderful father. Is he excited?”
“He’s thrilled. He puts his hand on my belly and talks to the baby every morning when he wakes up.”
“How are you feeling?”
“Much better.” Winona was starting her second trimester, and the nausea that had plagued her all day for three months was almost gone. “Your advice helped. I nibbled crackers all day and slept a lot.”
Kat rested her hand on Winona’s, sympathy in her gaze. “It’s not easy bringing new life into the world.”
Another boy crossed the ropes to cheers, but the next child in line began to cry. Jason took her hand, drew her aside, speaking quietly to her while another child went in her place. Soon, she was smiling again.
“It’s been almost exactly a year since the fire.” Kat glanced around them. “Look at this place now.”
A year ago, the wildfire had burned through here, turning the camp to ash and almost taking Chaska, Grandpa, and Gabe from them. It had been devastating for Naomi and everyone in Scarlet Springs. But so much hard work, so many volunteer hours and donations, and so much love had gone into rebuilding Camp Mato Sapa.
Ten new freshly painted cabins dotted the landscape, all of them solar-powered. The ropes course had been rebuilt. A new tipi stood near the fire circle at the center of the camp, and on the other side of the fire circle stood an O’odham wickiup. With Chaska’s help, Jason had even built a stone maze so the O’odham kids could have the real-life experience of walking one—getting lost, hitting dead ends, recovering, changing direction.
God, she loved him.
Kat glanced around. “It will be a lot of work getting this place ready for your wedding. Are you nervous?”
Winona glanced down at the diamond solitaire engagement ring Jason had given her when he’d proposed on her birthday in February. “Nervous and excited both.”
As soon as the children had boarded the bus and headed toward the airport, the cleaning crew would clean the cabins for wedding guests, and the party tent with its dance floor would replace this sunshade. It wasn’t going t
o be a big wedding—just friends and family. But there was still a lot to do.
“Are his sisters coming?”
“He didn’t invite them, not after they ignored his invitation for the kids to come to camp. One, the oldest, said she wanted her kids raised with mainstream culture.”
“That must have felt like a smack in the face.”
“Yeah, he was hurt. He had a long conversation with Grandpa and Chaska about it one night. He had to face that his sisters have chosen their own path. If he can connect with his nieces and nephews later, he will.”
“I’m sorry.” After a few minutes of silence, Kat changed the subject. “Is your dress finished?”
“Yes, and I love it. I can’t wait until Jason sees it.”
Winona had initially wanted to wear her grandmother’s doeskin dress with its beautiful antique quillwork, but Grandpa said it was stained. Also, the thought of wearing doeskin in summer heat didn’t hold much appeal. So, she’d tried to find a gown that contained elements of Lakota culture. She’d searched for Native wedding gowns, but she’d found only dresses that looked like they belonged at Woodstock or on the set of a Spaghetti Western. She’d felt consigned to getting a more conventional white dress—until Naomi had connected her with a Lakota woman who made bespoke clothing and was an expert with beadwork.
The result was one of a kind. Sleeveless and made with white silk tulle and guipure lace, its bodice was decorated with Lakota beadwork in purple, green, blue, black, and white that matched the long, quilled earrings she would wear. Strands of white beads attached to the bodice would drape across her upper arms.
“He’s not going to be able to take his eyes off you.”
The line had dwindled, which was Winona and Kat’s signal to help the cooks get lunch on the buffet line. Hungry seven- to twelve-year-olds were a tough bunch.
Kat stood, went to pick up her youngest. “Noelle Yanaha! Have you been eating dirt? You silly girl. Come, Kai. It’s time for lunch.”
Winona got to her feet, her hand resting on her belly. Six months to go before she’d be able to hold her little one.
Jason fumbled with his bolo tie as he tried to use the clip Winona had given him. He’d done this a thousand times but was suddenly all thumbs.
“Let me.” Chaska took the tie clip, examined it. “Naomi made this.”
“It was a gift from Win when I left Scarlet.”
Chaska got the tie in place and slipped on the tie clip, then straightened Jason’s collar. “You look good, man.”
“Thanks.” Jason reached for his jacket.
Chaska helped him into it, then smoothed one of Jason’s lapels. “I wasn’t sure about you at first. Yeah, I knew you were a Shadow Wolf, but there are lots of big, bad men with impressive resumés who don’t treat women well. I thought you were engaged and sleeping with my sister. I was wrong. You’ve been good for Winona. I’ve never seen her so happy.”
“I will do my best to be the man she deserves.”
“I know you will.” Chaska rested his hands on Jason’s shoulders, met his gaze. “You’re a good man. I am proud to call you brother.”
Those words meant more to Jason than Chaska could know. “You’ve been Winona’s rock since she was a little girl. Thank you for taking good care of her.”
The door opened, and Old Man walked in, wearing a white shirt and a bright red quilled vest with yellow designs that had been handed down from his grandfather. In his hands was his Medicine Wheel hair-tie with the bald eagle feather. “Chaska, can you help an old man? This arthritis in my fingers is givin’ me trouble. I can’t look sloppy at my granddaughter’s wedding.”
Grandpa was officiating the ceremony.
Chaska took the small ornament and fixed it into his grandfather’s hair, adjusting the feathers. “You’re good.”
From below came the sound of Ren’s voice followed by men’s laughter. Ren, Gabe, and Zach were standing with Jason today. They’d gotten to know one another pretty well last night at the lodge that Old Man had held for him.
Old Man glanced in the mirror, then looked Jason over, nodding approvingly. “You’re lookin’ sharp. You’re a true warrior. You’re gonna be a good half-side to my Winona and a good father to her children.”
Funny he should say that… “Thank you.”
Grandpa didn’t yet know that Winona was pregnant. Winona had only shared that with Naomi and Kat. She’d wanted to keep the baby secret until she was out of her first trimester, when risk of a miscarriage was highest. Jason had been fine with that decision, but for entirely different reasons. He didn’t want anyone in Scarlet believing that he was marrying Winona only because a condom had broken.
“I’ll get my sacred elements, and then it’s time to get up to the camp, eh?”
Ren met them at the bottom of the stairs, drew Jason into an embrace. “Man, you sure clean up pretty. I’m used to seein’ you in dusty camo.”
Jason hugged him back. “I could say the same about you.”
Gabe shook his hand. “Congratulations. Kat and I are so happy for you both.”
McBride gave him a bear hug. “I’m so damned happy for the two of you. I knew something was up between you from the start. I asked, and you denied it.”
Jason couldn’t help but laugh. “Yeah, yeah. I remember.”
They climbed into McBride’s SUV and made the short drive up to the camp.
Camp Mato Sapa had been transformed. An elegant party tent stood in place of the sunshade. Chairs sat in rows before a table that would act as an altar and hold Old Man Belcourt’s sacred elements, large bouquets of bright flowers on either side. Caterers bustled in and out of the Mess Hall. Guests took their seats in the party tent, while uninvited guests sat on the ground or held tailgate parties.
Winona had warned him this would happen. “When Lexi and Austin got married, the whole town came, even those not on the guest list.”
Hank, who had just finished his six-month jail sentence, was sitting under the tree with a friend. “That’s the man who tracked me the night I drove into the creek.”
Inside the tent, the West clan sat together. The Team took up a couple of rows, Kenzie and Conrad holding their new baby boy, Bruce, and Erik and Vicki with their month-old daughter, Molly. Doug and Star and their kids had come from Pine Ridge and were dressed in their finest. Joe and Rain sat with their little girl and Bear, who wore a neat, white shirt rather than buckskin. Ellio, Milo, and Dale had driven up with Ren and sat off to one side.
Jason waved to them, grateful to have some of his Pack brothers back together.
“Don’t you look pretty?” Megs said.
“You, too, Megs. A skirt? I’ve never seen you in a skirt before.”
It was denim, but for Megs, it might as well be formal attire.
Megs spread her legs. “It’s culottes.”
Jason hadn’t expected that. “I see.”
Ahearn laughed, shook his head. “I can’t take her anywhere.”
Jason found himself needing space, just a bit of quiet before the ceremony. He walked over to the maze he and Chaska had built, and it hit him. At the age of thirty-eight, he was marrying a woman he loved more than life.
Somehow, he’d found the path to the center.
Winona stood in one of the camp cabins where she’d gotten dressed, barely aware of the photographer snapping photos. She drew a breath, then turned to face the mirror. Staring back at her was a Lakota bride, her dark hair pulled away from her face and spilling down her back, quill earrings hanging to her shoulders, her heritage worn proudly on the colorful beaded bodice of a gown with skirts of white silk tulle.
Naomi arranged Winona’s skirts and stepped back. “Oh, Win, you look beautiful. Chaska and I are so happy for you.”
Kat handed Winona her bouquet of white roses, blue penstemon, lavender, and sage. “Jason is going to be blown away.”
Lexi dabbed her eyes. “I’m so happy for you, Win.”
Winona glanced around at them, her c
losest friends. “Thanks for everything you’ve done through the years, and thanks for being here today. You’re the best.”
They looked beautiful, too, the three of them wearing the same gown as Winona but in lavender tulle and without the beadwork. Lexi’s had been altered to accommodate her six-month pregnant belly. She and Austin had decided to have another baby after the fire and were expecting a little boy.
Star walked in. “I just have to hug the bride before the cer… Oh, Win! That dress. It’s … stunning. Look at that beadwork.”
“Thank you, Star.” She gave Star a careful hug. “I’m so glad you, Doug, and the kids could be here.”
“We wouldn’t miss it for anything.”
Then Chaska stepped inside. “I think we’re…”
He stopped, stared, an expression on his face she’d never seen. “Look at you, little sister. Jason is a lucky man. Would the rest of you mind if I had a moment? I think it’s time for us to head toward the tent anyway.”
Star, Naomi, Kat, and Lexi left Winona with her brother.
For a moment, there was silence. Then they both spoke at once.
“I…”
“I…”
Chaska laughed. “It’s your wedding day. You go first.”
Winona didn’t want to cry and mess up her makeup, but this was important. Her throat tight, she did her best to share what was in her heart. “Thank you for all you’ve done for me. You took care of me. You made me so many peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. You kept me safe. You chased away the nightmares after Mom died. No sister could hope for a better big brother. You will always be the first boy I loved.”
Chaska’s brow furrowed, an almost sad look in his eyes. “You will always be the little girl I cherished, the one who looked at me with her big brown eyes and made me want to take on the world just to see her safe and happy. I am so proud of you, Winona. I’m proud of the human being you’ve become.”